Hi, I have been talking a lot of guys who spent substantial amount of their lives (at least a decade) abroad and relocated to Nigeria. The feedback I have receive in regard to dating Nigerian girls is bad. If you are a Nigerian guy who has spent most of his formative years abroad ( the West in particular), the dating scene will be a bit difficult for you for so many reasons:

1. Differences in Mindset: If you grew up/lived in the big cities abroad such as New York, London, Paris, Toronto or even Cape Town that is around the corner, you tend to have a cosmopolitan view of life. What this means is that you are used to interacting with women from different nationalities around the world. This gives you what they call "a variety of flavors" to choose from. In Nigeria, your options are limited.Yes, there are a lot of foreigners in Lagos but they constitute a small minority and keep to themselves. With Nigerian girls, regardless of tribe, you encounter people with the same mentality irrespective of their class.

2. Your views on dating and Finance are different: Most guys who lived in the Diaspora for the bulk of their lives are used to splitting the bill 50-50. I am not saying all but a lot are used to that concept of dating. In Nigeria, the scenario is VERY different. As a man in this country, you are "responsible" for paying for everything. You are not seen as a "man" unless you "show" that you are "financially capable". Even Nigerian women who lived abroad also exhibit that mentality due to the environment they are in. If you refuse to accept this arrangement, they (Nigerian women) will tag you as "broke" and "stingy". They will tell you that you don't love them. In this country, showing a woman that you love her means you have to spend some dinerios.

3. Dealing with her extended family: In Nigeria (like most African societies) when you marry someone, you also marry the person's family. Now there's nothing wrong with that. We are all Nigerians here. The issue if the girl's family comes with a lot of baggage. Maybe she is the breadwinner and her family members see you as their gateway to prosperity. Or you have overzealous in-laws who want to interfere with your family life. That becomes a problem. If you are used to dating women from other cultures that do not have this extended family brouhaha, then it might be quite irritating.

4. Packaging: Image is everything in Nigeria. No one wants to be seen as poor. Everyone wants to be seen as "posh". If you are a simple chap who is not interested in status or keeping up with the Jones you will be irritated. Most girls in this country look down on guys who do not have a car and also take public transport. There are many returnees who like to dress simple so as not to attract unnecessary attention. A lot of Nigerian women have the mindset that if you are not looking slick (whether in suit or native) then you are still struggling. Abroad, you could interact with a chick in most public settings such as the train, bus, on the street, shops, restaurant without problems. Whereas, in Nigeria, the mentality of the environment does not enable such.

5. Conversation: The last but not the least is the issue of conversation.Even guys who have spent their whole lives in Naija complain about this. The conversation game of girls in this country is bad. Many of them send short texts such as "okay". Most of them could not chat to save their lives. Majority of them cannot make the effort to chat to you. They expect you to do all the work. That mindset is the reason why so many of them struggle to get a man abroad because no one has time for that crap when there are other options. Make some bloody effort.

I am not trying to castigate our girls but most it's only guys who have lived in Naija for the majority of their lives that can handle their materialistic tendacies. Nigerian female repatriates have a much better luck in the dating market than the men because everything is catered to them.

why not date a nigerian girl based abroad as well like you if u so determined to marry a nigerian girl.na must say u must go back home and marry? .the only time u could back and marry is if u had a serious girlfriend back home before u moved otherwise u taking a big risk.all those guys overseas who came back to their village to pick a wife pls ask them how the marriage fared.

Bros, I'm not talking about coming to Nigeria to find a wife. I'm already based in Naija. What I am talking about is those of us who have spent a long time abroad, moved back and now based in Nigeria. Hence, why I said Repatriates. If we were still based abroad, this issue would come up. Who willingly jumps into the unknown?

You’re spot on.

I keep a very low profile and take significant effort and sacrifices accomplishing that.

Pictured is my daily driver, I’m looked upon as suffering and not showing like I spent over 3 decades in the USA

That's the whole point lol. Who are you trying to impress? Keeping a low profile is the way to go. You don't need to proof anything to anyone.

EgunMogaji2:
You’re spot on.

I keep a very low profile and take significant effort and sacrifices accomplishing that.

Pictured is my daily driver, I’m looked upon as suffering and not showing like I spent over 3 decades in the USA

Nice write up
2) if I gat the money,why would I consider leeching on someone else. We all need help at some point in our mysterious lives,just don't depend on the help for too long.

And yes,its high time you stop comparing yourselves with the whites. You can never think like them and yes,they can never think like you. One part thinks FUTURE,another thinks PAST.
But,always make a diff. with how you think.

Differences in Mindset: There are still ethnic differences in mindset which is enough pill to swallow already, an average Yoruba lady doesn't necessarily think like an average Igbo lady.

Your views on dating and Finance are different: Guy, just forget this one, you are paying 100%. Usually Men here take pride in spending for their ladies, It is worth noting that this usually comes with power hungry, control freak & misogynistic Men. In recent times Women in Nigeria are trying to fight the misogynistic part of this type of arrangement & leaving the financial part still intact but It doesn't work.

You will see statements like this, No time for "Broke Misogynist Men in 2020".
They forget that Poor Men have no right to be misogynist, they are already poor, poverty humbles you.

Dealing with her extended family: You have no choice, you are marrying most of the Family than the actual person.

Packaging: Nigeria is a classicist society, people already classify you immediately they meet you. Therefore Women here see it as "What You See Is What You Get". They don't even need to wait to say hello & hear you speak, once you analyze you from Top to Bottom, that's all. That is why those pick up lines you see on the Internet will only work in Nigeria when a lady feels like you are worth responding to.

Conversation: BRO! this one is so funny, Women only put effort in communicating only when they think you are worth it, not because they cannot communicate. All this one liner "Hi" "Fine" "kk" "You too" is because they don't want to speak with you but enjoy the attention you give them at the same time.

Bro, it's quite sad about the mindset of women in this country. Women here have already assessed your worth just by looking at you! It's crazy.

truthsayer009:
Differences in Mindset: There are still ethnic differences in mindset which is enough pill to swallow already, an average Yoruba lady doesn't necessarily think like an average Igbo lady.

Your views on dating and Finance are different: Guy, just forget this one, you are paying 100%. Usually Men here take pride in spending for their ladies, It is worth noting that this usually comes with power hungry, control freak & misogynistic Men. In recent times Women in Nigeria are trying to fight the misogynistic part of this type of arrangement & leaving the financial part still intact but It doesn't work.

You will see statements like this, No time for "Broke Misogynist Men in 2020".
They forget that Poor Men have no right to be misogynist, they are already poor, poverty humbles you.

Dealing with her extended family: You have no choice, you are marrying most of the Family than the actual person.

Packaging: Nigeria is a classicist society, people already classify you immediately they meet you. Therefore Women here see it as "What You See Is What You Get". They don't even need to wait to say hello & hear you speak, once you analyze you from Top to Bottom, that's all. That is why those pick up lines you see on the Internet will only work in Nigeria when a lady feels like you are worth responding to.

Conversation: BRO! this one is so funny, Women only put effort in communicating only when they think you are worth it, not because they cannot communicate. All this one liner "Hi" "Fine" "kk" "You too" is because they don't want to speak with you but enjoy the attention you give them at the same time.