I have a question for you @ubunja. What do you say about girls who give greenlights, which is a sign that you are chosen, but play hard to get or mind games or refuse to follow your lead when you lead.
ubunja: You played the game backwards. You were supposed to find a girl who respected you already then make her your girl. But instead you found a girl, made her your GF then tried to make her respect you. It doesn't work that way.
PROLOGUE. You have seen it before in your hood. A pretty girl has all the men hitting on her and trying to impress her with money and things. She ignores them. Or plays them. Because she's got her eye on some insignificant nonentity of a Guy. As hard to get as the girl is for other men, this nobody of a Guy gets her attention easy. He makes her laugh easy. He impresses her easy. Much to the anger and confusion of all the other men who know they are better by far than the Guy.
Now, what does the Guy have that all the other men don't have that has cast a spell on the girl?
nothing.
The guy is simply chosen.
MOYO MUTI UNOMERA PAUNODA. In the Zimbabwean Shona language we have a saying: "Moyo muti unomera paunoda" - The heart is like a tree that grows where it chooses.
We can't predict where a plant will grow. A plant will grow in the most favorable places like river banks and rain forests. But it will also grow in the least favorable places like deserts and cracks on a pavement and against all odds thrive.
Same with love.
Love is emotions and emotions are Unpredictable. Like the Unpredictable growth of plants. Love flourishes in the most favorable places but it will also flourish in the least favorable places. "Moyo muti unomera paunoda" - The heart is like a tree that grows where it chooses. In other words, "The heart wants what the heart wants". And whom the heart wants is the Prize.
GET A GIRL TO RESPECT YOU. So much has been said about how women no longer respect men. How women no longer submit and put men in their rightful place as the Head.
Women were born to follow. Men were born to lead. But, remember followers choose the leader. Not the other way round. We vote for our leaders. Our leaders don't vote for us.
It's the same with women and respect.
If your girl doesn't respect you there's precious little you can do to make her respect you. You played the game backwards. You were supposed to find a girl who respected you already then make her your girl. But instead you found a girl, made her your GF then tried to make her respect you. It doesn't work that way.
You don't make a girl respect you. That's impossible. Girls respect whoever they think is worthy of respect. What you do is You find a girl who respects you already and make her your girl. This way there's no struggle to earn anything because everything is already given. Just like how God loved us before we were born and there's nothing we did to earn His love. God loves us because He CHOSE us. That is true love. A girl must love you because she chose you. Not because you did anything to earn her love. Love must not be earned.
Same with respect.
If a girl already thinks you're respectable then you're a thousand steps ahead of every other guy trying to earn her respect because in love NOTHING must be earned.
Men do many things backwards... A man will meet a Scantily Dressed girl, fall in love then try to make her wear long dresses. It won't work. She'll tell you it was the miniskirts and minidresses that made you love her, why must she now change. What you must do is find a decently dressed girl if you want a decently dressed wife. Anyways, it will be far easier to make a decent girl dress sexy than to make a ho dress decently. You can't turn a ho into a housewife but you can turn a housewife into a ho. Remember every girl is looking for a guy she can be bad for.
MY STORY. I found my babymama a virgin at about 23.
She was strict and many guys had tried their luck with her and failed. But when she met me she practically handed herself to me. Winning her heart was so effortless. And she's still the easiest girl I ever fvcked. And I fvcked her so much that within months she gave me a baby.
One day a friend visited us and was shocked to see my GF kneel down to serve me food. (God is my Witness) When we were alone my friend said I must be hitting my GF that's why she served me food kneeling. I was offended. Because I never asked anyone to kneel for me. And I explained this to him but I could see he was not convinced.
Two years after breaking up I met my babymama and I wanted to check something on her phone but there was a password (she never used to put passwords). I asked for the password and she replied "it's your name". I didn't believe it but typed it anyways. And the phone unlocked!!!. I was surprised.
A few months ago this year, I went to see her because I missed my daughter and she (my babymama) said, "Whatever you're doing, when you get tired of it, I will be waiting for you". I didn't reply. Then she told me our daughter was grown and she needed a brother. Guess what? I will give her another baby soonest!
We have an inside joke where I tell her she can't move on cause I cast a spell on her. She laughs hard at it.
Why am I telling you all this??
I'm telling you this Because I did NOTHING to get this girl to fall so deep in love with me. I didn't campaign. I didn't spend a cent. I didn't buy her anything. Not even. What happened is one simple thing that was beyond even my control: I FITTED THE DESCRIPTION OF THE TYPE OF GUY SHE WANTED. Simple.
Whatever this girl saw in me she liked it. I didn't put any effort to make her like me. She just liked me. I was her type. Was she my type? No. She was from the wrong tribe. And was too reserved for my liking. BUT I WAS HER TYPE. That was what mattered. And I ran with that. I didn't even know she was a virgin. She kept it a secret until the moment I took out my dick.
The moral of the story is this: If a girl loves you first you are the Prize. If a woman likes you first you are the Trophy. And there's very little you can do wrong in her eyes. She'll always excuse your behavior. Someone who likes you without you doing anything to impress them, is someone who'll find it hard to stop liking you when you do something to disappoint them. If your actions didn't create the love, your actions can't destroy the love. Because it's never about your actions, but about YOU.
UNDERSTANDING WHAT IT MEANS TO BE THE PRIZE OR TROPHY. Any guy can be the Prize or the Trophy to a girl. But there's a very particular way of going about it. You have to play the game right.
There are three things that make a trophy a trophy:
1. A Trophy Is Perfect As Is.
This is the most important thing. The less you do yet the more you impress a girl, a girl you impress the most by doing the least to the point that you impress her TOTALLY by doing TOTALLY NOTHING is the girl with whom you have a realistic chance of being the Prize.
The only girl you should give a chance is that girl so breathtaken, so infatuated with you that she thinks you are the Prize, for simply breathing. And nothing more. The way a trophy is seen perfect AS IS. So also a girl must see you perfect AS IS. That way there's no spending, pretending, lying and campaigning to earn her affection.
In love NOTHING must be earned.
2. A Trophy Doesn't Choose Who Wins It.
Take for example a football trophy. It doesn't choose what quality of teams get to compete for it. Or what quality of team will take it home. The only way the trophy can get itself won by a decent level team is to be a trophy of a decent football league. A minor league trophy will be won by minor league teams unless it becomes a major league trophy then it will be won by a major league team.
As a trophy you attract your level. If you don't like the level of women you're attracting then improve and elevate to a higher level. Then higher level women you'll attract.
3. A Trophy Loves No One.
A trophy or a prize may be dreamed of and fantasized about by many, but itself it fantasizes and dreams of no one. A trophy doesn't compete for anyone. It is competed for. A trophy doesn't love anyone. It is loved.
In love, the one who loves less is the trophy.
In all my dealings with women, the breakups that have hurt the most and made me cry the longest were with those women I myself chose, pursued and won. I was too invested. I begged the most and accommodated the greatest. I was the trophy holder. And when the trophy left - as all trophies do when a better competitor appears - I was left devastated.
Look back at all your Exes and you'll see a pattern: The girls you were hurt the most to breakup with were the ones you chased and pursued the hardest. While the girls who brought themselves to you, it was easy not only to get them but also to breakup with them, because YOU were the prize.
UNDERSTAND YOU ARE THE PREY. The greatest reason guys don't become trophies is guys have made themselves the Hunters.
A hunter can never be a trophy.
Do you know something called Trophy Hunting? (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trophy_hunting) It is the hunting of animals for sport . And the ANIMALS that are hunted and shot are the trophies. Not the hunters. The Prey is the Trophy.
The Lion is king of the Jungle but who hunts? The Female lion. The hunter is not the King. The hunter is the chaser and the chaser has no value.
WHO'S THE TROPHY? It's always easy to see who's the trophy and who's the hunter in any couple.
Who is more "needy"? On the streets, In photos who is always grabbing the other? Who always has their hand or arm around the other person? That's the hunter. The hunter has no value.
Look at any pictures of rich men or male celebs and stars and you'll see the WOMAN is always the one grabbing the man. Because the woman is the hunter and the man is the trophy.
Whereas pictures of ordinary couples have the MAN grabbing the woman, because the man is the hunter and the woman is the trophy.
WOMEN ARE THE PREDATORS. The easiest way to get that girl who will worship and put you on a pedestal is for you to understand Women are the Hunters. Not men.
Girls are the Predators and boys are the Prey. God brought Eve to Adam. Eve was the hunter. Adam the prey.
Also Women have the pussy and the Womb. Lovemaking and babymaking are their jurisdiction. Weak as they are it is they who ultimately decide who gets to have sex and who gets to be born.
As a man understand and allow for that.
THE PREY IS THE PRIZE. Seek and you shall find. And that which you'll find is the Prize. Not you. You are not the Prize. People go looking for treasure. Treasure doesn't go looking for people. We compete for a trophy, the trophy doesn't compete for us.
Whatever you seek/search for/look for, is the Prize. Whether that's a job, a place, an item or a person. It's the Prize. It's more important than you. And you can lose it to a better person than you.
Once you search, once you hunt, once you seek, the other person becomes the Prey. And the Prey is the Prize.
Remember the Prey can live without the Predator but the Predator needs the Prey to survive. The lion needs the gazelle and the kudus or it perishes. The gazelle and the kudus just need grass. So what's valuable? The prey or the predator? The Prey. The Prey is the Prize.
LET GIRLS CHOOSE. We all have a "type". Or a "kind". Of a person who always catches our eye. We know what turns us on when we see it. That image of what turns us on is what we fantasize about and even masturbate to. Especially women. Women daydream a lot about love.
As a man, your security and longevity with a girl depends on how closely you fit the "type" and kind" of the guy she fantasizes about. The closer you align to her desire, the nearer you are to what she daydreams about, the smoother things will be for you because the more satisfied she'll be with you and the less inclined she'll be to cheat.
But you can't read minds and you don't know what a girl's fantasy is. You can't read hearts and you've no clue as to her desire. So how do you achieve the impossible and match a girl's fantasy and desire?
It's simple: YOU WAIT TO BE CHOSEN.
Wait for the girl whose fantasy matches what you are. Wait for the woman who desires a man like you. Wait for her to choose you. This way you are chosen AS YOU ARE. Without any need to do anything to impress anyone.
VIDEO. The Pastor in the video below knows and understands the game. He knows women must choose. Watch and see how things must be done. See how much easier it is for men when women do the choosing:
The attention and affection of a woman must never be earned, bought, paid for, fought for or struggled for. It must come freely WITHOUT you doing anything but breathing.
VIDEO ANALYSIS. Now, on the video above, WHO IS THE PRIZE? The women who did the choosing or the men who waited to be chosen? Its the men of course. The men are the Prize because they are the women's fantasy. By choosing, the women got their fantasy. But by choosing they lost their power. The women lost their power because they are the ones who are in love. Not the men.
When you love someone, that person automatically has power over you. Because when you love someone you can lie, steal, pay, toil, slave, kill or kill yourself for that person. That's the power they hold over you.
In love, you are either the Hunter who identifies, pursues and acquires your Fantasy, or you're the Fantasy identified, pursued and acquired by the Hunter. The Hunter chases and possesses the fantasy ("she's the girl of my dreams and I finally won her heart" / "he's the guy of my dreams and I finally won his heart" ). But the Hunter who gets the fantasy has LESS power because he/she is the one infatuated, in lust and in love. Not the fantasy.
The fantasy, the person you call your dream guy or dream girl, while you can't live without them, they can live without you because you are not their dream anything.
The guys in the video above, they have more power because they are chosen. The women have less power because they chose. In quarrels the women will always be reminded, "You chose me. I didn't choose you!" - The most disempowering words you can say to anyone. But the power each man holds over his woman comes at a cost to the man: By being someone else's fantasy you deny yourself your own fantasy. Each side of the equation has its good and bad.
THE CHOSEN IS THE PRIZE. You have power over anyone to whom you're a fantasy. And you can only be a fantasy if you're chosen.
But how do you know a woman is choosing you? Green Lights of course. No Green lights no approach.
irumole1975: I'm here again this year ubunja. Read this piece in 2019. Since then I've made it a point to read it once every year. God bless. May we win!!
this write-up goes hard bro. we all read it once in a while. it's among my top 5 favorites. thanks man.
Ubunj please this question needed an answer from you....
Notoftheworld79: I have a question for you @ubunja. What do you say about girls who give greenlights, which is a sign that you are chosen, but play hard to get or mind games or refuse to follow your lead when you lead.
Hello ubunja. I really appreciate your time you devoted to enlightening both genders. Was going through your topic "men open hearts and women open legs"...along the line, there's this blockade through my train of thought along this line:
A) "Women HEART is in between her legs. She expresses her love by opening her legs. By opening her legs she is in fact opening her heart...." This line is for the women and I seem to grab this
B) A man dick is in his CHEST.....****missing link*****. He loses his VIRGINITY by falling in Love. Which I DON'T GRAB
The way you explained it for the women part and how they relate her heart and her legs, It feels like that build up is missing in how mens DICK IS IN CHEST
2) There's also a line of a mans first love is as memorable as a woman's first dick MEANING a woman first dick was an avenue she thought she could USE to get love stamped and a mans first love was an avenue he thought he could USE to get sex constantly??
Please clarify
## Another one: what would we say about prostitute that opens legs without falling in Love? Desensitization??
IAmHim1: Hello ubunja. I really appreciate your time you devoted to enlightening both genders. Was going through your topic "men open hearts and women open legs"...along the line, there's this blockade through my train of thought along this line:
A) "Women HEART is in between her legs. She expresses her love by opening her legs. By opening her legs she is in fact opening her heart...." This line is for the women and I seem to grab this
B) A man dick is in his CHEST.....****missing link*****. He loses his VIRGINITY by falling in Love. Which I DON'T GRAB
The way you explained it for the women part and how they relate her heart and her legs, It feels like that build up is missing in how mens DICK IS IN CHEST
2) There's also a line of a mans first love is as memorable as a woman's first dick MEANING a woman first dick was an avenue she thought she could USE to get love stamped and a mans first love was an avenue he thought he could USE to get sex constantly??
Please clarify
## Another one: what would we say about prostitute that opens legs without falling in Love? Desensitization??
I wildly anticipate your reply.
I acknowledge your mention. I'll make time to answer and clarify over this weekend. Happy Easter (if you're a Christian like myself)
1) women love drama. if we're not manufacturing it for them, they're manufacturing it for themselves...like THEIR own personal drug maker. and it also say that if YOU'RE arguing with a woman thereby creating drama she NEEDS, you're falling into her frame. so how do you efficiently manufacture her drugs without falling into her frame?
2) it's advocated for men to allow women to speak more about themselves...the memories they share with a stranger makes them somewhat bonded to that person. and there's another part where it's not ADVISED TO ADVICE WOMEN whenever they present their problem...just react with "eeyah"..."are you serious"... "oh really"...but then again, at the beginning of a relationship IN WHICH THE MAN IS THE ONE CHASING, being emotional and the woman being indifferent/ logical and in agreement with her friends, the man has to make the girl FALL For him by sharing emotional details about HIMSELF. how do you reconcile this effectively?
3) if a woman's investment in a woman is pussy, why then do prostitute rarely fall in love with all their clients. desensitization with numerous dick? care to shed more light on this subject?
and I quote from cash pleasures "the more sex a woman gives a man, the more attached she becomes"
so it has to be intermittently reinforced...?
4) there was ALSO another post you made where you made mention of hypergamy not being sexual. then you went in to talk about how who women fall for could be nobodies regardless of what they clamour to claim hypergamy is: dating men of higher financial position. someone who makes higher than themselves. could it be a typo?
cus all I could understand from your teaching is that hypergamy is purely sexual. if it was financial, girls would only be chasing guys with money/salary HIGHER THAN their exes
ubunja: I acknowledge your mention. I'll make time to answer and clarify over this weekend. Happy Easter (if you're a Christian like myself)
5) Quoting From pleasures of the cash, "where a mans money go, his heart will follow"...
but for his heart to follow, his heart needs to have invested even though a little FIRST...and after the first significant investment, the maxim would hold true. it's like shopping...most men make emotional decision when buying.. subconsciously as a need to impress the other gender...then after buying the particular product for long, they become INVESTED financially...so emotions first, BEFORE logic
men is XY (Kyle XY) women, XX
x stands for EMOTIONS and Y for logic
men share what women don't ie men have a piece of women but women don't have a piece of man
what do you think about this line of thought ubunja?
6) ALSO quoting from pleasures of the cash, "our heart follows our treasure..." ie our heart follows where or who we give our treasure to. and what I understand from Brent esplin is that to truly get over someone...a heart break from a past relationships, we'd have to avoid the sunk cost fallacy and commit or deposit our treasure with someone else. that way our heart will follow whom we've deposit our treasure to
ie consistently spend money on another girl or make your pussy available at the behest of another man
now the question is how do we avoid that cost sunk fallacy regardless of the number of years and amount of money we've put into a relationship with a partner?
Side epiphany: now I know why women cheating and a man cheating is not the same. man treasure: Money woman treasure: pussy
a man cheating is giving another woman his dick which is not his treasure while a woman cheating is giving another man her pussy: HER TREASURE. VOILA!
7) women see spending the same way we see sex but what I've inferred is that the sex we enjoy is at the detriment of someone's pussy while the spending is also gonna be at the detriment of someone else money
is that so? cus most ladies don't really love spending money to elevate a man... prolly they could spend if it was someone else money? what do you think ubunja??
how to create an emotional connection to have sex with a woman ?
since men need sex to create an emotional connection with a woman and women need an emotional connection to have sex with a man...
men's emotions is Money women emotions is pussy
meaning either women need to be pussy bonded to Have sex with a man or men need to make a woman emotional to have sex with her be it positive or negative emotions??
Need help. Dunno if I'm reverse engineering it correctly
ubunja: I acknowledge your mention. I'll make time to answer and clarify over this weekend. Happy Easter (if you're a Christian like myself)
I understand you're a busy man. If you'd spare your precious time to expatiate on my many questions, I'd really really be grateful. I study your teachings like my personal course. hahahaha
ubunja: I acknowledge your mention. I'll make time to answer and clarify over this weekend. Happy Easter (if you're a Christian like myself)
you sound tired even. lol weird huh you really have liberated a lot of people...men especially... myself included...I hope you get to live and enjoy whatever dreams you're chasing.
I guess I'll just have to wait till you're less busy then. that'll mean page refreshing back to back. lol
ubunja: Easter came and went and it's now May. Time flies. Still couldn't make the time.
how to create an emotional connection to have sex with a woman ?