Hi everyone,

I'm Smilingkemi of www.smilingkemi.com a Lifestyle and Travel Blogger. I show you cool spots to hangout in Lagos and things about Love. Visit my blog.

So you've been crushing on someone lately and you've finally secured a way to ask your crush on a date and you want to make it memorable for subsequent outings. Going on a date can be nerve wracking yet exciting (especially if it’s your first one or you’ve been single for a while).

You can go into them thinking you're going to meet the love of your life and walk out reflecting on an evening of small talk, wondering why you spent your only free evening with a boring person. Its better to go with little or no expectations though so you're not disappointed. Every successful date requires at least some pre-date planning, so you want to ensure you avoid some mistakes and make it count.

There are many things you should do/ consider:

1. Plan;
As a man; Make sure you have a plan. Ask her for where she’ll like to go. If you’re the one asking to take her out; let her decide where she’ll like to go, let her choose what she’ll want to eat etc. So you definitely need to be boxed up (I mean what’s the point if you’re not up to it at the moment, no offense) especially in this part of the world we are, men are responsible for paying on first dates.
As a lady: Plan as well. I mean hold your cash too. You’re not paying for anything but what if everything goes wrong that you have to pay? Eat what you know you can pay for if he doesn’t pay so you’re not embarrassed.

What not to do:
Never impose where you want to go to her as she might not be comfortable with it. Never think because you’re paying for it, so it has to go your way. No! No lady wants to be controlled by any man especially when she can take herself out. You don’t want to ruin this.


2. Be early:
I’m gonna stress this well. Be punctual. Punctuality says a lot about you. No one wants to be left hanging and waiting for so long. I’ll take myself for example: I had a date with someone. I chosed the time and place. Some circumstances were way beyond my control that day.
Cancelling wasn’t an option as he was already there waiting for me before time. All I kept doing was to keep checking in with him to say I would be running late. This was just to show that I was sorry about the delay. I mean avoid been late.

3. Have meaningful conversations;
Have meaningful conversations if you want things to move to the next level. You don’t want to be boring at the same time loading too much. You want to keep it simple while you have fun.<br> Talk about your goals, values, what interests you. Your perspective of life. You want to make sure you have intelligent conversations not interview questions. Lol I wonder why people do that. etc.

What not to do;

Never bore her with what you’re going through on the first date. Subsequently as you build friendship you can. Never talk about your family issues or what’s going on in your life. That’s too much to know. The aim of your outing is to get to know each other not call for pity party or leave depressed. It sucks! I have been in a situation on the first date the guy kept telling about his family issues, how he’s the first graduate in his family, housing issues. That was too much to take in at once, and it totally killed my vibe. I tried to show sympathy and what he could say was don’t say that word. I was lost because at that point I didn’t know what else to say and I wasn’t catching fun.

What to do Ladies:
Ladies you know what I’m about to say right? Now is not the time to talk about how you need to buy a new phone, new laptop etc whatever it is. Don’t sound needy. Men like independent women. You have to make him know with or without him you can live. Centre on meaningful conversations. Tell him how you want to take your career to the next level, tell him about what inspires you. Let him know how intelligent you are with your conversations.

Likely topics to discuss are: Hobbies, Work/ School, Interests, Travelling, Music etc.

4. Compliment each other
Oh yes!! Men you have to compliment. Don’t say you don’t know how to. It could be the tiniest thing. It could be her nails, her earrings, her looks, her dress, her eyes etc not her body (as she might think the next thing you wanna do is have sex). Whatever thrills you about her compliment. We love it. It makes us feel loved and sweet to you. It could be during your conversations that you find something attractive, compliment!!

Ladies, compliment also. Men have ego. When you compliment a guy it makes him feel on top of the world even if they might not show you. Compliment his looks, his shoes etc whatever attracts you.

What not to do; Never complain about your date’s look if you can’t compliment because you can’t find anything to compliment.

5. Pay Attention
Be a good listener. Pay attention and be flexible. The first date is when you’ll learn a lot of new things about your date. Take the time to really listen to what he or she is saying. The first couple of dates will help you decide whether to continue with the relationship or move on to someone more compatible. Your date shouldn't have to compete for your time. Your date shouldn’t have to repeat his or herself several times.

Don'ts: Don't get carried away with your phone. Its not a good time to call your friends and family. Focus on your date.

6: Going with a friend:
I know some people might be tempted to go with a friend but stop right there. This is one-on-one time, and that doesn’t involve two or three additional people. Save the group outings for later on in your relationship. I mean he has asked for you alone and that should count. No need to bring your friends.

Hopefully this was helpful. Happy hook up. Don't forget to leave your comments and visit my blog.

See more https://smilingkemi.com/first-dates-what-to-do-what-not-to-do/

Read more on my blog for more; https://smilingkemi.com/categories/cool-spots/

All this na wash. Just have game. Game means totality of what the opposite sex wants in a given society be they cars, s good job, etc

Thank you CanadaorBust. But its not by the cars, good job etc. Its important to build friendship except you're not looking for what would last and possibly lead to marriage. Hence, you have to communicate value.

Smilingkemi:
Thank you CanadaorBust. But its not by the cars, good job etc. Its important to build friendship except you're not looking for what would last and possibly lead to marriage. Hence, you have to communicate value.

U r welcome.
I said “game” - friendship can be part of game, just as cars, good job, all MAY be part of game - it depends. The point is that your game should have won the person b4 u even meet, rendering all u wrote above unimportant. Yahoo boys have people fall in love with them and start sending them money without ever meeting them, talkless of doing anything u wrote - they have game

Noted. Thank you.