dannyla:


The funny thing is there are women lining up to date him o. So he feels he's doing me a favour / I'm the lucky one

Every man who is doing well to some level, have a lot of women lining up, come on girl, don't u have a standard? If u don't create a standard for ur self and if u feel he is all u need, u can go ahead to marry him

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

He's a grown ass baby boy.

He's just not what you need from what you outlined, just like the few first comments read, run my dear for your dear life before he kills you in one of those mad rage of his.

Abeg which woman no dey receive prepositions from men? The difference is that the woman keep batting these off constantly because she's taken. And, the probability that he cheats may be very significant.

Run o.

TheGreatIYANU:


My dear, RUN!

u gats hear from the both side before shouting RUN

IAmStrange:
I have come to notice that most times when human beings fall in love, we lose our willpower. People mistake it for sense - meaning we lose our sense but it's not true in many cases.

The person who is in love can actually have His sense intact and functioning and in every event, he knows the right thing to do... But he just doesn't do it because he has lost his willpower and his resolve has become weak so he runs around seeking advice from people so that their comments can serve as a sort of motivation to carry on with what he already thinks or knows he should do.

Secondly, you were saying he loves you to a fault. I don't want to dispute that. But I want you to know that "love" is not the only thing to be considered when choosing a spouse. You must not - I repeat - you must not marry someone JUST because he loves you. Love is not the only thing that guarantees happiness in a marriage.

There are more important things to be considered.

Do you really think those husbands that send their wives to the hospital after beating them thoroughly do not love their wives? in fact, they sometimes do that due to extreme love and protective jealousy for their wives?

Do you think all those men who womanize and cheat on their wives do not love their wives? In fact, in many cases, they do love their wives and give her all respect and love she deserves and would never allow any man come near her. Yet, they are serious cheats!!!

You are going to live with the character of your man and the character of your man is one of the major factors that will determine if he will make a good husband, father, in law to your people and if he will make a good "head of the family".

So cancel out that idea that "he loves me to a fault" if you think that that's enough for you to give in to him.

It's better for you to marry someone who loves you averagely and he treats you like the "queen" you are than get married to someone who "loves you to a fault" and he treats you like you are "serving a sentence as a prisoner" in his house.

Then thirdly, I want you to know that, that man has serious issues and if I were you, I will flee from entering into a marriage with such a person.

Please open your mind - that guy is going to cage you. He's probably going to make your life miserable.

- He has anger issues.
- He has trust issues
- He is uncultured (calling your sister a prostitute and hurling insults at you)
- He is a wife beater
- he jumps to stupid conclusions hastily (calling you a prostitute and going to the extent of taking your pictures)
- He checks your phone and wrongly accuses you of different things
- His jealousy is overboard

Believe me, A man who has all the above will probably make life miserable for you.

He may be the kind of man that will make you sit at home and cut you off the world. Then he maltreats you and doesn't take care of you, making you age faster and weaker as time goes on. Then he will be giving outsiders the impression that he is taking care of you and when you try to complain, they listen to him and not you.

And when you now start looking miserable, he ends up cheating on you with more beautiful girls out there while he leaves you at home to your misery.

There are men like this out there - that guy may be one.

So I advise you to flee from him. Do not listen to anyone. Don't let anyone pressure you into accepting him. They are not the ones to bear the pain and when you die and they get to know the true story, they will still blame you for accepting him.

That's life!

Then, please, do not also think low of yourself and pressure yourself into accepting him just because single men are not coming or because of your age.

Marrisge is a beAutiful thing but that's only when it's with the right person.

Being happily single is better than being miserably married

If you listen to the stories of many married women out there, you will thank your Lord and consider your single status a blessing, thanking God for saving you from what those married women have experienced.

I don't know your age but I think you are probably "not too old" yet.

Please, think positively of your God, yourself and aim for good.

Leave that man and after you have done that, pray to your Lord to bring you a good man you can settle down with.

And while you are still waiting, please be patient and understand that our major purpose on earth is to serve God. That's the major and true success.

Being single doesn't mean that you are a failure, don't let society pressure you into believing that.

The one who is married doesn't necessarily have more superiority in the eyes of God than the single one. The level of superiority is measured by how much you are close to God, how much of righteousness you achieve on earth and how much you do things that matter to the whole world - things that affect people positively.

Being single may turn out to be a blessing on its own. I know some people who went to very great heights of which it would have been difficult to achieve if they got married. What matters is your happiness, your wellbeing and how much your Creator is pleased with you.

So pray to your Lord and hope for good and be positive that he will send you a good man. But while you are waiting, try to do other meaningful things in your life that will bring you happiness.

Don't settle for a bad man who will make your life miserable.


May God soften your heart and grant you your desires.

dannyla

Op, read this, digest it and act accordingly. Here is all you truly need to clear your eyes and sense of reasoning

Sounds like you want to stay with him out of pity.
It is true that you night not find someone who would like you like he does but you just have to try.
Walk away. He won't change. He has too many insecurities.

dannyla:


Hmmmm,
My mom was deflowered by a rapist and all she ever asked of me was to get married as a virgin. Till today, she doesn't know that I was raped too. She once told me she will die a sad woman if I don't keep her request. My father died when I was a girl. My mother sold her clothes to raise us.
If I leave, he'll tell her I'm not a virgin anymore and she will never have that peace she has now. I can't watch my mum suffer for something she didn't do. My mum once used to be hypertensive. What if it comes back due to shock? My aunt used to mock my mom over the rape before our very eyes and my mum simply told her that one wasn't her fault but her children will marry honourably. My mother's pride is the reason I let the rapist walk free. This man knows and will tell everyone.

I'm not yet strong enough to relocate us very far away or foot any drastic bill. That's a major reason I've been tolerating. The advise from those around me doesn't help either. That's why I seek public opinion

. Didn’t

we r talking about a lifetime companionship of been manhandled.. what makes you think e will change once u guyz get married. flee now DT u are alive

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

Lol...that heavy knock part got me seriously.
My advise....for such a person who's so over possive, I'll say it dangerous to go ahead and marry him except you're ready to do what he said.
Men that are that jealous can kill a woman. So be wise.

Why is everyone pushing you to marry sharp sharp? Your wahala too much?

I observe love really blinds. It stops us from thinking with our head/brain. I guess u wanna be a punching bag. If u already getting all these bfr marriage, what do u think it will be after marriage. Those advising you to stay, they are the ones that will spend the rest of their lives with him abi

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

If he loves you as much as you claim, he would never lay his hands on you, embarrass you in public or feel so insecure to start all his drama.


You should have thought it through before you said yes.

We all live to face the consequences of out decision either good or bad.

I would not advice you to leave him.
Neither will I advice you to stay cos I'm not you, I'm not in your position, so I don't know how much trauma you are going through rn.

But I'm gonna leave you with this little advice.




Whatever decision you make,

ENSURE you do what makes you happy.

If you can cope and you think staying will make you happy, STAY.

But, if you think otherwise, LEAVE.

dannyla:


Hmmmm,
My mom was deflowered by a rapist and all she ever asked of me was to get married as a virgin. Till today, she doesn't know that I was raped too. She once told me she will die a sad woman if I don't keep her request. My father died when I was a girl. My mother sold her clothes to raise us.
If I leave, he'll tell her I'm not a virgin anymore and she will never have that peace she has now. I can't watch my mum suffer for something she didn't do. My mum once used to be hypertensive. What if it comes back due to shock? My aunt used to mock my mom over the rape before our very eyes and my mum simply told her that one wasn't her fault but her children will marry honourably. My mother's pride is the reason I let the rapist walk free. This man knows and will tell everyone.

I'm not yet strong enough to relocate us very far away or foot any drastic bill. That's a major reason I've been tolerating. The advise from those around me doesn't help either. That's why I seek public opinion

this is bullshit

The warning signs are there, very clear. You've asked for advice, and here it is:

Cut him out of your life permanently. Now. People don't change.

dannyla:

- During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper
- I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it.
- He gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache
- He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view

All other excuses, pleas, apologies are irrelevant. Don't be top story on the nairaland news about some wife in emergency room, or worse.

okirewaju:
If I were you, I'll take off the current footwear I'm putting on and flee


A man that has verbal diarrhea is a turn off plus a woman beater and still insecure


They will keep edging you until you fall into that pit. There is a difference between Wedding Ceremony and the Marriage itself.

You deserve so much better. Don't settle for less

my dear sister, i pity you. what kind of advise do you need again. be determined to call it quit. people begging you will not stay in the marriage with you. Pls wise up and stand by your words

I did not see any good side to this guy from your entire story. All you have narrated are the warning signs and good to see that you are able to see these things before marriage. I can assure you that this is just a tip of the iceberg until you get married and see full scale.
He is still a boy and you need a man.
The men are there but you friend zone them. You lie to them too that you are married.


Open your eyes and your heart now before it is too late.

Biko my sister RUN ooo

no problem now wait till you die or he render you useless before knowing what to do but alas it's tooooo late already. all those advising you to be patient will not be the ones to feel the heat infact 80% of them will say when you knew how he treated you before marriage you ought not to marry him but then it will be tooooo late and you will be alone regretting the day you met him and blaming yourself for not ending the relationship early but it will be tooooo late. sis abeg use your brain now God didn't give you that for decoration

francis5051:
u gats hear from the both side before shouting RUN

It's like you missed this part �

he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks

My sister, am a man and I know how dangerous this type of person could be, domestic violence is conspicuous in this relationship.....this man will kill you .....God is warning you now o

My dear RUN For your life, marriage is for a life time

Are u ok.?with handwriting boldly on d wall u still ask for help.....receive brain sister....ur first instinct was actually God talking to u but u ignored... Thank God u still have to decide and design how ur future is gonna look like...I b man but truly.. Ds man does not deserve u.....he is a boy not a man...wake up abeg

You're actually seeking advice for something that's staring at you, people are seeing fire and jumping right in... If you continue with this guy, not only will he advance from giving you hard knocks he will blow your breath away literally, you go DIE
he's already bold enough to be insulting your sister next thing your family will be the next recipients of heavy knocks

DMerciful:
Why is everyone pushing you to marry sharp sharp? Your wahala too much?

Lol, maybe oo. That feeling of let her leave her father's house atleast

[left][/left]

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

he isn't in love with you,he is obsessed and obsession isn't a very good thing dear,love is all about understanding and tolerance and if u find a man who doesn't want to understand u and tolerate ur excesses then call it quits asap,u deserve better,if u keep going back because of his financial assistance then get ready for more intrigues,if u can achieve financial independence from him b4 u call it quits d better but please erase the thought that he loves u,play ur cards well and get out early,las las u go dey ok if u hear me.

If your man have problem with guys around quit having guys around, that's sacrifice in relationship. If you can't make that sacrifice dump the man.

I see girl complain about broke guys daily with guys doing money ritual to get the money n simply don't see why ladies should starting wailing if the man ask for a bit of decency.

That invariably does not give any man the right to beat a lady. If a man that tell you to your face he love you can lay his filthy hands on you for whatever reason my sister it is over. I hold every human to my standard, its either you conform to what is reasonably acceptable or u get out.

My 2 cent

dannyla:

He has all the bad qualities of a man. In fact he is a monster.

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

Please Marry him. I'm waiting for your next thread. "I'm leaving him tomorrow"

Wisdom is profitable to direct!

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

See your mouth like 'he loves me to a fault, and I don't know if I can find a man that will love me like that'..
You will just give yourself high blood pressure..

I pity you..

That is a dangerously jealous man.. He can kill you one day!!!


Japa japa japa!!!!

I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
My candid advise- once a beater, remains a beater.
Once a boxer, forever a boxer.
"Even parte after parte is sung twice, if not thrice or more than"
What we do for love can be stupid but if you want to stay, be ready for consequences. And if you want to pack your bag and go, take the consequences too.

This is interesting. Thank you for this. The lesson i learned from this is, I will raise up my daughters in love and compassion so, when a man, any man ever calls any of them "prostitute", or raises his hand on them, they will not think, or rationalize if they should be with that kinda man or not. The fact that people are advising you to marry him and you have to think about it means you don't know your "worth", and you are surrounded with people with low IQ as you are. This is not an insult. You have a low sense of self and low IQ to even consider being in a relationship with someone that treats you in that manner.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks.

I'm sorry if laughing is insensitive but this is hilarious!

Never in my life have I read or heard that a guy gives his lady knocks on the head.

Truly some women can be so desperate, dumb and stupid when it comes to marriage talks