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Am I Making A Mistake? - Romance (6) - Nairaland

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Am I Not Making A Mistake? / I May Ruin My Girlfriend's Life, If I Make A Mistake / Once Is A Mistake,Twice Is A Habbit. (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by karli4nia(m): 10:34pm On Dec 16, 2019
This NL is an amazing place. One gets to read a heck lot of funny stories..

Op, that part where u say" He gave u several heavy knocks"
cracked me up.. Not to turn your story into an object of amusement..
But I have never heard of a man giving a lady a knock, not to talk of several..then heavy....then to the point of you developing headache..

Na only house girl I dey hear say their madam dey give knock..

So what love are we talking about here..? He is apparently obsessed and going berserk. He is capable of commiting murder o..
He mayn't even know what is wrong with him..or mayn't be able to help himself if he knows..

U better do the needful before....

2 Likes

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by gido2017: 10:34pm On Dec 16, 2019
Quit. Having read your story, I honestly empathize with you.
Marriage is all about compactibility and trust and not love. One word to summarise everything: the man does not trust you and hence you guys can't cope.
The aim of courtship is to know each others cons and pros if compactible or not.
If you can endure those molestations of his, then go ahead and marry him if not quit. You see those people telling you to marry him, they will not live with you ohhhhh, you will suffer alone.


Don't ever marry that man if you desire a happy marriage with peace and joy.
However , if you are doing anything secret you better desist from it cause you girls can be foolish and weak at times.

You say he loves you but character issue okay!!! If you feels so then let him change his manifestations to prove his love; but for me that man does not live you.

That's my advice for you. I pray God give you the right discretion to handle the matter IJN......
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by jossykido(m): 10:34pm On Dec 16, 2019
is either you are attracted to the materiel benefit or age is also not on your side
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Jidibia(m): 10:34pm On Dec 16, 2019
He loves you to a fault and he is doing this to you? Anyways, boyfriend and girlfriend matters, I no dey put my mouth. Let me just give u my advise, if you marry that man, you will never ever enjoy your marriage. He can't change.
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by tiwiex(m): 10:34pm On Dec 16, 2019
Fountainofyouth:
You came here telling us all his faults, do you expect us to say you should continue to be with him? Is the public embarrassment, insults and several knocks on the head not enough for you to know that you will be a punching bag when he marries you? What advice do you really want exactly?
I found the knocks hilarious. Who knocks someone and severally? Lol. Did she set her head for knocking? I have heard of beating and slapping. But knocking? Lol. I see why she likes or loves the guy. He is hilariously different. I still can't get my imagination of how she was setting her head for knocking. Lol.

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Wane2: 10:34pm On Dec 16, 2019
Aunty RUN O!!! RUN!!! Before we see news for nairaland frontpage say jealous husband knocks wife to death. Abeg Tuwama before it is too late, better person go come your way.
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Trutherme: 10:35pm On Dec 16, 2019
Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

Both of you are loose cannons because it looks like you're aiding and abetting him without even realizing it. He beat you up, denied it when you your mum talked to him about it and next thing, you eventually gave in. I don't think you have the will power to leave this man.

You are fighting an unprepared battle my sister.

2 Likes

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nat404: 10:35pm On Dec 16, 2019
The lady in context is a serial cheater. Unfortunately for her, the man found out after going through her online messages. Instead of this lady to move on with her life, she turned part of the episode upside-down in order to get support. As usually, folks who are naive with the situation here already supporting her.

2 Likes

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Kenneth10110(m): 10:35pm On Dec 16, 2019
In Naira Marley voice 'Japa Japa'
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Kyrx(m): 10:35pm On Dec 16, 2019
If all that you wrote here are true, then I'll advise against settling down with him.

He's already laying his hands on you You deserves a better man with better understanding.
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Maestroedem001: 10:36pm On Dec 16, 2019
IAmStrange:
I have come to notice that most times when human beings fall in love, we lose our willpower. People mistake it for sense - meaning we lose our sense but it's not true in many cases.

The person who is in love can actually have His sense intact and functioning and in every event, he knows the right thing to do... But he just doesn't do it because he has lost his willpower and his resolve has become weak so he runs around seeking advice from people so that their comments can serve as a sort of motivation to carry on with what he already thinks or knows he should do.

Secondly, you were saying he loves you to a fault. I don't want to dispute that. But I want you to know that "love" is not the only thing to be considered when choosing a spouse. You must not - I repeat - you must not marry someone JUST because he loves you. Love is not the only thing that guarantees happiness in a marriage.

There are more important things to be considered.

Do you really think those husbands that send their wives to the hospital after beating them thoroughly do not love their wives? in fact, they sometimes do that due to extreme love and protective jealousy for their wives?

Do you think all those men who womanize and cheat on their wives do not love their wives? In fact, in many cases, they do love their wives and give her all respect and love she deserves and would never allow any man come near her. Yet, they are serious cheats!!!

You are going to live with the character of your man and the character of your man is one of the major factors that will determine if he will make a good husband, father, in law to your people and if he will make a good "head of the family".

So cancel out that idea that "he loves me to a fault" if you think that that's enough for you to give in to him.

It's better for you to marry someone who loves you averagely and he treats you like the "queen" you are than get married to someone who "loves you to a fault" and he treats you like you are "serving a sentence as a prisoner" in his house.

Then thirdly, I want you to know that, that man has serious issues and if I were you, I will flee from entering into a marriage with such a person.

Please open your mind - that guy is going to cage you. He's probably going to make your life miserable.

- He has anger issues.
- He has trust issues
- He is uncultured (calling your sister a prostitute and hurling insults at you)
- He is a wife beater
- he jumps to stupid conclusions hastily (calling you a prostitute and going to the extent of taking your pictures)
- He checks your phone and wrongly accuses you of different things
- His jealousy is overboard

Believe me, A man who has all the above will probably make life miserable for you.

He may be the kind of man that will make you sit at home and cut you off the world. Then he maltreats you and doesn't take care of you, making you age faster and weaker as time goes on. Then he will be giving outsiders the impression that he is taking care of you and when you try to complain, they listen to him and not you.

And when you now start looking miserable, he ends up cheating on you with more beautiful girls out there while he leaves you at home to your misery.

There are men like this out there - that guy may be one.

So I advise you to flee from him. Do not listen to anyone. Don't let anyone pressure you into accepting him. They are not the ones to bear the pain and when you die and they get to know the true story, they will still blame you for accepting him.

That's life!

Then, please, do not also think low of yourself and pressure yourself into accepting him just because single men are not coming or because of your age.

Marrisge is a beAutiful thing but that's only when it's with the right person.

Being happily single is better than being miserably married

If you listen to the stories of many married women out there, you will thank your Lord and consider your single status a blessing, thanking God for saving you from what those married women have experienced.

I don't know your age but I think you are probably "not too old" yet.

Please, think positively of your God, yourself and aim for good.

Leave that man and after you have done that, pray to your Lord to bring you a good man you can settle down with.

And while you are still waiting, please be patient and understand that our major purpose on earth is to serve God. That's the major and true success.

Being single doesn't mean that you are a failure, don't let society pressure you into believing that.

The one who is married doesn't necessarily have more superiority in the eyes of God than the single one. The level of superiority is measured by how much you are close to God, how much of righteousness you achieve on earth and how much you do things that matter to the whole world - things that affect people positively.

Being single may turn out to be a blessing on its own. I know some people who went to very great heights of which it would have been difficult to achieve if they got married. What matters is your happiness, your wellbeing and how much your Creator is pleased with you.

So pray to your Lord and hope for good and be positive that he will send you a good man. But while you are waiting, try to do other meaningful things in your life that will bring you happiness.

Don't settle for a bad man who will make your life miserable.


May God soften your heart and grant you your desires.

dannyla
this situation isn't love,it is called obsession,things that look like love r obsession, infatuation,lust and like

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by NaijaFutbol: 10:36pm On Dec 16, 2019
True love is not selfish!

He wants you to himself no matter what you want.

He doesn’t love you, he loves himself and want you so badly just to fit into the picture of his married self.

I quoted you so you can read this.

RUN!!!

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by ResidentSlut(f): 10:36pm On Dec 16, 2019
Break up with this asshole please and thank you
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Crochet: 10:36pm On Dec 16, 2019
I have one word for you leave that man and his money alone that if you want to live long. I won't say anything beyond this.
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by cassyrooy(m): 10:36pm On Dec 16, 2019
dannyla:
Hmmmm, all the contributions are soo true but I fear he may become violent and go extreme. I've heard crazy things from him before.
2020 is in 15 days time, don't let that idiot have any sort of relationship with you come new year.

He's potentially a violent person walking amongst civil beings.

Maybe he's been redpilled and want you to fall onto his feet to worship him or something.

Ah! Knocking your head? You even get mind stay after hearing things he's confirming to you? Running is the best thing now, married/dating and dead can never compare with single and alive.

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by TonyeBarcanista(m): 10:36pm On Dec 16, 2019
dannyla:
Hmmmm, all the contributions are soo true but I fear he may become violent and go extreme. I've heard crazy things from him before.
Quit the relationship if what you wrote is true

But you have not mentioned your own faults though! Abi are you faultless? I am very sure that the storyline will be different when he narrates his.
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by tiwiex(m): 10:36pm On Dec 16, 2019
gido2017:
Quit. Having read your story, I honestly empathize with you.
Marriage is all about compactibility and trust and not love. One word to summarise everything: the man does not trust you and hence you guys can't cope.
The aim of courtship is to know each others cons and pros if compactible or not.
If you can endure those molestations of his, then go ahead and marry him if not quit. You see those people telling you to marry him, they will not live with you ohhhhh, you will suffer alone.


Don't ever marry that man if you desire a happy marriage with peace and joy.
However , if you are doing anything secret you better desist from it cause you girls can be foolish and weak at times.

You say he loves you but character issue okay!!! If you feels so then let him change his manifestations to prove his love; but for me that man does not live you.

That's my advice for you. I pray God give you the right discretion to handle the matter IJN......
He knocks her. I still can't stop laughing at the thought of it. Lol. Knock? That guy is a knocker. Not a boxer.
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nickymichy(m): 10:37pm On Dec 16, 2019
May b she doesn't understand wat running means...it actually mean removing ur shoes, take steps forward repeatedly and make it fast as u can..in pigin tear race
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by AdegbiteAdemola(m): 10:37pm On Dec 16, 2019
dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos


Run as far as you can. Things won't get better, it will only get worse. Your fear of being single now is nothing compared to the sadness of a failed marriage. Jappa my sister.

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Roon9(m): 10:38pm On Dec 16, 2019
dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos


Loves you to a fault? Really?
You have no idea what love is ma

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by BabaIbo: 10:39pm On Dec 16, 2019
I have to hear from the other person before I will make any comment on this issue...

I noticed when people are giving report about issues happening in their relationship, they tend to be partial...

Don't quote me with that "knock" part please, I know what I'm saying, I have seen issues happen between people in relationships including married ones but when they are reporting, they will put it differently.
I'm not saying you are telling lie but I prefer hearing from the two parties.

It's well

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nobody: 10:39pm On Dec 16, 2019
If you still need advice on what to do here then surely you are an slowpoke.

Most men who beat their wives to death claim they did it out of love. That’s not love my dear it’s an obsession bore out of low self esteem by the men involved.

If he can me giving you knocks and insulting you like this while you’re still dating, imagine what he will do to you as his wife in his house. Marry him and I give you 2 years max before we are reading your obituary here. A word is enough for the wise
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by TonyeBarcanista(m): 10:39pm On Dec 16, 2019
Nat404:
The lady in context is a serial cheater. Unfortunately for her, the man found out after going through her online messages. Instead of this lady to move on with her life, she turned part of the episode upside-down in order to get support. As usually, folks who are naive with the situation here already supporting her.
My brother, don't be quick to label her BUT, I think she is yet to give us FULL DETAILS of what transpired FROM HER SIDE.

As much as I believe that both of them should part ways, I don't think the man is a mad man that will be acting the way he is doing without any trigger grin

Even agbero that fights at the parks get triggered!
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by ZiriMane(m): 10:39pm On Dec 16, 2019
dannyla:
.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?

thank God the Bible didn't say love your neighbour than you love yourself
jealous man that beats and insults a woman... My sister if it is dat slippers that you are wearing dah is disturbing you from running abeg comot am.
signs don't lie.

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by TonyeBarcanista(m): 10:40pm On Dec 16, 2019
BabaIbo:
I have to hear from the other person before I will make any comment on this issue...

I noticed when people are giving report about issues happening in their relationship, they tend to be partial...

Don't quote me with that "knock" part please, I know what I'm saying, I have seen issues happen between people in relationships including married ones but when they are reporting, they will put it differently.
I'm not saying you are telling lie but I prefer hearing from the two parties.

It's well
You are wise

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by sdavirus: 10:41pm On Dec 16, 2019
If I were you, I'll be giving thanks. Better to be single, than deal with all these baggage. You aren't making a mistake... Trust me, he will get worse. Not forgetting the fact that everyone is naturally angry in this Buhari regime... Imagine how angry an angry man will be. If he's this bad, because he thinks you guys are almost in the end zone, imagine how bad he'll be when you guys are married.

As long as you have one or two positives in your life (your business), there is nothing to worry about.

There are still a good few men left... But I did rather stay with my sanity and dignity intact, than marry the wrong man, if I were in your shoes.

People can say what they wanna, but a broken engagement is a billon times better than an unhappy marriage and then a broken one.

Grace can have it. Trust your instincts and don't let your family talk you into shit.

They won't be the one receiving Wilder sized punches then... It will be you, reflecting on how you didn't go with the convictions you had.

Peace and love to you.
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by thundafire: 10:41pm On Dec 16, 2019
dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

u are been foolish dats all I can say u are seeing all dis sign yet u are asking for advice
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by karli4nia(m): 10:41pm On Dec 16, 2019
tiwiex:

I found the knocks hilarious. Who knocks someone and severally? Lol. Did she set her head for knocking? I have heard of beating and slapping. But knocking? Lol. I see why she likes or loves the guy. He is hilariously different. I still can't get my imagination of how she was setting her head for knocking. Lol.

Bros..we are on same page... Walia...that knock part still dey make.me laff..as I dey try picture am..
Or maybe the lady just add comic relief to her story..
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Homguy(m): 10:42pm On Dec 16, 2019
dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

I am a married man, and I am giving you this advise. If you go ahead with that marriage, you just signed your death warrant. Everyone encouraging you to go ahead will not be with you in marriage. Use your head. You want to fa e this for tens of years to come?

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by MarianaTrench: 10:42pm On Dec 16, 2019
"He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find anyone like him"

Shut your dirty stinking mouth!

Someone who beats you up at every opportunity and calls you names does not love you!

1 Like

Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Nat404: 10:42pm On Dec 16, 2019
TonyeBarcanista:

My brother, don't be quick to label her BUT, I think she is yet to give us FULL DETAILS of what transpired FROM HER SIDE.

As much as I believe that both of them should part ways, I don't think the man is a mad man that will be acting the way he is doing without any trigger grin

Even agbero that fights at the parks get triggered!
Do not believe everything you read online. When you hear from the man, then you would discover she had told lots of lies here.
Re: Am I Making A Mistake? by Ozonlayer: 10:42pm On Dec 16, 2019
dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos


I will advise you dump his sorry asss before he ends up killing you one day... From your explanation he is not a real man he is a very jealous mofo who can do whatever he likes.. You dont know this man from Adam why give him avenue to ridicule you and your sister.. My dear dust your feet and leave him for good.. I have a very good uncle who is looking for a someone to marry once you dump him i can connect him to you wink

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