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Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work - Family - Nairaland

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Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by DenreleDave(m): 8:29am On Dec 18, 2019
Yes, it always good to hear the other side of the story.
I don't support caging a woman and thereby stopping her career. But most men knows the kind of woman he married, he may be scared dt if she goes out there and mingle with men out there, she might commit adultery.. Like I said, i don't support caging a woman but most ladies come here and don't say the truth.

A lady posted here about how her husband caught her cheating with a colleague at work and she even said, she wunt mind having him Inside her. Las las, after 2 or 3 kids, the husband divorced her.

https://www.nairaland.com/5162191/cheated-husband-guy-work-dont

Things like this makes men think twice before deciding whether his wife should work or not...

Cc: fountainofyouth, sbl, funmisticqueen

2 Likes

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by Kingpee2(m): 8:38am On Dec 18, 2019
We men can be rational sometimes ,don’t you think our children also deserves a working mother Incase anything goes wrong ,it could be anything ,I know a man that said this same words to his wife ,he’s regretting today because he’s now on wheelchair ever since he was involved in a terrible accident ,it could even be worse than that,save your children from financial crisis and stop being greedy over your trust issues ....If my wife wants to work Abeg let her work,after all ,it only means we both will be contributing and supporting in all ways ...

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by Lcf69(m): 8:42am On Dec 18, 2019
He mustn't claim Alpha Male too... Pinned.
Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by Amanee(f): 8:43am On Dec 18, 2019
Lol


Someone that wants to cheat doesn't need to work to do that. Lock her up in the house all you want and she can sleep with your gateman. Open a supermarket that is close to the house and she can sleep with her suppliers.


Op in plain terms, cheating is not tied to having a job or career. Drop this mentality in 2019

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by Romanoff(f): 8:44am On Dec 18, 2019
Most men are very selfish sha.

Why then did the woman have an education? Or will you forbid your daughters from going to school since she'd end up a house wife?

Men are committing adultery on a daily basis and their wives still choose to stay cause they are the bread winner. Asides societal stigmatization of divorcees, a working woman can decide to leave a man treating her badly, why? She can afford to take care of the kids on her own.

The only power a man really has over a woman in marriage is financial provision. A working woman will break that monopoly by augmenting what her husband earns with her pay.

Before you marry, look out for a woman who was brought up well, look beyond the human hair, heavily made up face and designer clothes and bags and look out for the character of a woman before you even go into a relationship with her talk more of marriage.

This post just reeks of insecurity.

16 Likes

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by Sirmuel1(m): 8:46am On Dec 18, 2019
I once dated a Girl. Once she leaves my House, she's already in another Man's Bed. Do you think I would have rest of mind, if I had married her

Some Girls/Ladies are naturally wicked and stupid. No matter what you give them, they can never be faithful to one Man.
Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by Florblu(f): 8:59am On Dec 18, 2019
Be secure in your calling brothers.

If a woman will commit adultery, even if you put her on a house arrest, they will still give it to her through the window or via the door hole gan if wide enough

12 Likes

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by onos1979(f): 9:10am On Dec 18, 2019
that man should also be ready to go to the market to avoid her mingling with others.

6 Likes

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by CAPSLOCKED: 9:15am On Dec 18, 2019
Sirmuel1:
I once dated a Girl. Once she leaves my House, she's already in another Man's Bed. Do you think I would have rest of mind, if I had married her

Some Girls/Ladies are naturally wicked and stupid. No matter what you give them, they can never be faithful to one Man.

THE LAST PART IS NOT ENTIRELY TRUE.
Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by LordKO(m): 9:36am On Dec 18, 2019
A man who married a virtuous woman doesn't have cause to worry. My continual experience with strong-minded women who're altruistic and conscientious have always reinforced my strong belief that all women, just like men, aren't ethically the same. Work environment can never determine a woman's character.

12 Likes

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by Fountainofyouth(f): 10:03am On Dec 18, 2019
The earlier you guys realise that when a lady decides to cheat, nothing on earth can stop her, the better for you, same as men, just be mindful of who you get involved with.

8 Likes

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by madridguy(m): 10:12am On Dec 18, 2019
So na only place of work woman fit cheat? grin grin what about women that knack their gate man? Neighbors ? So forget not working.

4 Likes

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by zmpp(f): 12:46pm On Dec 18, 2019
a woman who will cheat will cheat work or no work

1 Like

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by Nobody: 1:36pm On Dec 18, 2019
Kingpee2:
We men can be rational sometimes ,don’t you think our children also deserves a working mother Incase anything goes wrong ,it could be anything ,I know a man that said this same words to his wife ,he’s regretting today because he’s now on wheelchair ever since he was involved in a terrible accident ,it could even be worse than that,save your children from financial crisis and stop being greedy over your trust issues ....If my wife wants to work Abeg let her work,after all ,it only means we both will be contributing and supporting in all ways ...

That is what insurance, long term investments, education funds and pension funds are there for. If you plan your future, your family does not have to lack anything.
Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by Nobody: 2:04pm On Dec 18, 2019
zmpp:
a woman who will cheat will cheat work or no work

Do you cheat or not?
Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by zmpp(f): 2:36pm On Dec 18, 2019
Elder010:


Do you cheat or not?

you and trouble
Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by Nobody: 3:00pm On Dec 18, 2019
Rubbish!
Every time a woman should live her life according to what the man wants, nobody wants to think of what the woman want.

It is always what the man wants, I don't advice any woman to be jobless, it breeds disrespect in the long run.

4 Likes

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by eyinjuege: 3:56pm On Dec 18, 2019
The decision to work does not lie with a husband especially if the wife in question has the capacity to make her own decisions.
Getting married does not automatically take away a grown up woman's capacity.
This is for those not yet married- Do not go into the union thinking you have been given a child you can make decisions for, otherwise you will struggle.
At most, it will be a joint decision for one of the partners not to work.
Same way a wife will not make the decision on whether her husband should work or stay at home, on whether he should have only male bosses or subordinates, or whether he should have only male clients and business partners.
Marriage is not a bondage. Also remember, it's not by force.

6 Likes

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by TonyeBarcanista(m): 4:08pm On Dec 18, 2019
A man must decide how he wants his home to be run. If the husband wants the woman not to work in corporate setting, I think it is fair he arranges alternative so she can be productive like a virtuous woman.

Any woman that isn't ready to submit to her husband's authority SHOULD NOT MARRY or should marry an American or someone with such mindset angry.

Marriage is a very serious institution with its own standard and template. It isn't a popularity contest where decisions are subject to popular opinion and votes. A man leads, the wife assist.

May I conclude with this Bible passage; 1 Corinthians 11:3

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Please, if you are not a believer of Christ, ignore the passage and marry a man according to your own faith. SIMPLE

BTW Why are you tagging angry feminists?

Don't you know that ach time these feminists rant, it is best to read, laugh and ignore. I have interacted with a couple of them and I noticed that;

1. They are mostly advanced in age and single, and are generally bitter and unhappy whenever a younger woman or another woman is having harmonious relationship with her man.

2. The engaged/married ones among them are having terrible relationship

3. A lot of them are single mothers and current/retired runs girls

4. The younger ones amongst them are foolishly naive and tend to regret.

5. A minute number of them that are married are only feminists on social media. Offline they are loyal cheesy (Less than 5% though)

5. Ignoring their rants is sure way to have sanity!

ADVICE TO BROTHERS

1. Do not compromise your standard to accommodate these feminists demands

2. Do not date/marry them if you can't keep with their nonsense (truth is your chances of having cordial relationship with them is 1%)

3. They will tag you insecure but we like am like that tongue

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by TonyeBarcanista(m): 4:11pm On Dec 18, 2019
eyinjuege:
The decision to work does not lie with a husband especially if the wife in question has the capacity to make her own decisions.
Getting married does not automatically take away a grown up woman's capacity.
This is for those not yet married. Do not go into the union thinking you have been given a child you can make decisions for, otherwise you will struggle.
At most, it will be a joint decision for one of the partners not to work.
Same way a wife will not make the decision on whether her husband should work or stay at home, on whether he should have only male bosses or subordinates, or whether he should have only male clients and business partners.
Marriage is not a bondage.


Also remember, it's not by force.
That's the point! It is not by force for ladies! If you can't cope with marriage, remain single (that is when/if men even approach you)

2 Likes

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by LordKO(m): 5:45pm On Dec 18, 2019
TonyeBarcanista:
A man must decide how he wants his home to be run. If the husband wants the woman not to work in corporate setting, I think it is fair he arranges alternative so she can be productive like a virtuous woman.

Any woman that isn't ready to submit to her husband's authority SHOULD NOT MARRY or should marry an American or someone with such mindset angry.

Marriage is a very serious institution with its own standard and template. It isn't a popularity contest where decisions are subject to popular opinion and votes. A man leads, the wife assist.

May I conclude with this Bible passage; 1 Corinthians 11:3

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Please, if you are not a believer of Christ, ignore the passage and marry a man according to your own faith. SIMPLE

BTW Why are you tagging angry feminists?

Don't you know that ach time these feminists rant, it is best to read, laugh and ignore. I have interacted with a couple of them and I noticed that;

1. They are mostly advanced in age and single, and are generally bitter and unhappy whenever a younger woman or another woman is having harmonious relationship with her man.

2. The engaged/married ones among them are having terrible relationship

3. A lot of them are single mothers and current/retired runs girls

4. The younger ones amongst them are foolishly naive and tend to regret.

5. A minute number of them that are married are only feminists on social media. Offline they are loyal cheesy (Less than 5% though)

5. Ignoring their rants is sure way to have sanity!

ADVICE TO BROTHERS

1. Do not compromise your standard to accommodate these feminists demands

2. Do not date/marry them if you can't keep with their nonsense (truth is your chances of having cordial relationship with them is 1%)

3. They will tag you insecure but we like am like that tongue



Submission shouldn't be equated with subservience. It's very obvious that you, just like many others, have erroneous understanding of what submission in this context is and what it entails. Maybe I have to blame the obvious misconception on its ambiguity. Yes, I'm a proponent of submission, but with a sure different, not necessarily superior, understanding of what it's and what it entails.

Submission, just like love which is its variant, is encompassing. It's a compound word that literally has no meaning on its own without its constituents (good attributes like selflessness and meekness). It's a compound feminine word that denotes feminine goodness, just as love is a compound masculine word that denotes masculine goodness too, all in the context under discussion - neither submission nor love is a sign of weakness and neither of them is inferior nor superior to each other. They just differ in nomenclatures and application - just as males and females are equal as human beings but differ biologically. Only few women possess its attributes and can give genuine version of it - every woman can give a fake version of it in many guises to any man subject to circumstances.

So, it's wrong to forcefully assert that "A man must decide how he wants his home to be run." - what's conscientious and palatable is that a man must have a sound moral philosophy on which he can walk and work with his wife. The philosophy must be sound I say, because real submission works spontaneously with real love - only sane men can love genuinely, just as only sane women can submit genuinely.

A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way - authority is different from authoritarianism. A sane wife is expected to submit to the authority of a sane/loving man, she's not expected to submit to authoritarianism - only servile women (people) can condone authoritarianism in any setting - strive to be a leader rather than an authoritarian/dictator. Right without responsibility equates to mental parochialism.

Actually, authoritarianism doesn't know gender; there're both authoritarian men and women with penchant for subjugation as their major hallmark - hello to chauvinistic and inhumane men and women; wannabe alpha males and wannabe feminists. Of course, I don't hold brief for servile people also.

It's not only African men who expect submission from their women, only wannabes of the West have such erroneous thought. Show me a marriage anywhere in the world where both spouses mutually and genuinely have inner peace and I'll show you a genuine loving man and a genuine submissive woman.

I doff my hat for humane, sane, conscientious, strong-minded and altruistic men and women.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by Nobody: 6:21pm On Dec 18, 2019
zmpp:


you and trouble

Answer me before I change my mind.
Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by eyinjuege: 6:22pm On Dec 18, 2019
TonyeBarcanista:
[s][/s]


That's the point! It is not by force for ladies! If you can't cope with marriage, remain single (that is when/if men even approach you)

I'm glad you mentioned men doing the approaching. Marriage is not by force for men either.
Men should stop approaching, especially when they have the discussion with a lady and she says she wants to work.
If that's a deal breaker for you as a man, then leave her the hell alone. Don't marry her under false pretences and then start shifting the goal post in the marriage.

7 Likes

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by TonyeBarcanista(m): 6:33pm On Dec 18, 2019
LordKO:


Submission shouldn't be equated with subservience.
And who says submission is subservience?

It's very obvious that you, just like many others, have erroneous understanding of what submission in this context is and what it entails. Maybe I have to blame the obvious misconception on its ambiguity. Yes, I'm a proponent of submission, but with a sure different, not necessarily superior, understanding of what it's and what it entails.
There is no erroneous understanding! In every institution, organisation, whether formal or informal, there is always hierarchy. And for every hierarchy there sits a person at the of the chart. It is that simple!

In schools there are class captains, prefects, course representatives and class governors. These people are of higher authority than their peers but it doesn't make them masters. All other student must submit to these people and challenging their authority brings consequences.

In working environment there are heads of units, departments and the organisation itself. In a nation/state there exist leaders like Presidents, Governors, Councillors etc. These people aren't more than others but they only wield authority by virtue of their offices.

Likewise in marriage, the man, being the husband, sits on top as the head! His authority MUST not be challenged, it must be respected to the letter by all members of the family. A woman that isn't cool with such arrangement should stay unmarried. It is that simple!

Submission, just like love which is its variant, is encompassing. It's a compound word that literally has no meaning on its own without its constituents (good attributes like selflessness and meekness). It's a compound feminine word that denotes feminine goodness, just as love is a compound masculine word that denotes masculine goodness too, all in the context under discussion - neither submission nor love is a sign of weakness and neither of them is inferior nor superior to each other. They just differ in nomenclatures and application - just as males and females are equal as human beings but differ biologically. Only few women possesses its attributes and can give genuine version of it - every woman can give a fake version of it in many guises to any man subject to circumstances.
Submission is not just love, it is surrendering to a higher authority. It is accepting and recognizing the authority of another over you. SIMPLE and SHORT!


So, it's wrong to forcefully assert that "A man must decide how he wants his home to be run." - what's conscientious and palatable is that a man must have a sound moral philosophy on which he can walk and work with his wife. The philosophy must be sound I say, because real submission works spontaneously with real love - only sane men can love genuinely, just as only sane women can submit genuinely.
There is nothing wrong or forceful in submission. A woman bound in marriage to her man is LEGALLY bound to recognise the husband's authority and submit to him. If she isn't comfortable then she should QUIT THE MARRIAGE AND STAY UNMARRIED. There is no ambiguity.

A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way - authority is different from authoritarianism. A wife is expected to submit to the authority of a sane/loving man, she's not expected to submit to authoritarianism - only servile women (people) can condone authoritarianism in any setting. Strive to be a leader rather than an authoritarian/dictator.
A subordinate that challenges the authority of the leader will always have problem. An employee that challenges the authority of his/her boss or a student that challenges his/her SUG President will always have problem. It is that simple

Actually, authoritarianism doesn't know gender; there're both authoritarian men and women with penchant for subjugation as their major hallmark - hello to chauvinistic and inhumane men and women; wannabe alpha males and wannabe feminists. Of course, I don't hold brief for servile people also.

It's not only African men who expect submission from their women, only wannabes of the West have such erroneous thought. Show me a marriage anywhere in the world where both spouses mutually and genuinely have inner peace and I'll show you a genuine loving man and a genuine submissive woman.

I doff my hat for humane,sane,conscientious,strong-minded and altruistic men and women.


It is not about gender, male or female. It is about HUSBAND and WIFE. By God's making, the man is the head, not because he is male but because he is the HUSBAND!

It is like that and there is nothing anyone can do about it

4 Likes

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by TonyeBarcanista(m): 6:41pm On Dec 18, 2019
eyinjuege:


I'm glad you mentioned men doing the approaching. Marriage is not by force for men either.
Men should stop approaching, especially when they have the discussion with a lady and she says she wants to work.
If that's a deal breaker for you as a man, then leave her the hell alone. Don't marry her under false pretences and then start shifting the goal post in the marriage.
This is where I agree with you.

Marriage is not by force for any gender, and every human, male or female, must enter with their own freewill even if it came through persuasion- but it must never be through coercion.

Men must discuss first with their would-be wives and set ground rules (same way organisations give rules and regulation before formally hiring a new employee). It is left for the women to either accept, reject or they arrive at any workable compromise.

But as a general rule, a man must not lower his standard to accommodate any woman when it is unfavorable for him. Submission is one thing nobody in authority would want to give up on if he wants to enjoy his home.

There are millions of beautiful women of young ages (18-26) that men can choose from irrespective of their own age, so why should they worry themselves over one that wouldn't yield them happiness?

5 Likes

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by eyinjuege: 7:13pm On Dec 18, 2019
My advice to the unmarried ladies out there, shine your eyes o. Love is just a facade in majority of Nigerian men. You need to establish yourself, and have a plan for your own life.
Many of them don't even have a plan for theirs, so don't wait on any man to take you to the promised land. Marriage is filled with many unmet expectations. Only you can make the difference in your life.
If you want to be comfortable in life, don't wait for any man.
Move with the right people whether male or female, who are purposeful. Not as a sexual partner, because that only distracts you from the goal.
Don't give up your dream and passion over the whims of any man.
Learn to take responsibility for your own life and circumstance. Make your own decisions and own them.
When you die, and go to the afterlife, you will not be known as anyone's wife, mother or child. You will be known as YOU

11 Likes

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by healthserve(m): 7:18pm On Dec 18, 2019
What is painful is to inject scriptural posts that are misunderstood to back another flawed logic.



Ladies shine your eyes o. I hope more single ladies are seeing these satanic comments

Cc djon78
Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by eyinjuege: 7:25pm On Dec 18, 2019
RisenPhoenix:


That is what insurance, long term investments, education funds and pension funds are there for. If you plan your future, your family does not have to lack anything.

Yes, the way majority of Nigerian men are living the blissful life of the rich, with their family members not lacking. I see all the pension funds, education funds, big houses your average Nigerian man has.
Yes, it's all lies that majority of Nigerians live below the poverty level, afterall the men heading these households/ families have investments scattered all around.
It's all lies that university graduates including grown men are earning 30-50K in Nigeria.
We are all imagining these things. Yes, Nigeria is Eldorado where our men provide in abundance for their families

2 Likes

Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by Theyoungmatron: 7:28pm On Dec 18, 2019
The earlier this men realised that women are full-fledged adult that can make decisions for themselves the better.

The fault in our stars anyway........................

These same guys will still turn around and blame the wife for not contributing something tangible into the family coffers instead of their insecurities.

Bunch of hypocritics
Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by Theyoungmatron: 7:29pm On Dec 18, 2019
RisenPhoenix:


That is what insurance, long term investments, education funds and pension funds are there for. If you plan your future, your family does not have to lack anything.
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin ;DThe funniest piece of work so far. Investments hahahahahahahahahaha...30k minimum wage investment.
Guy, smell the damn coffee please grin grin grin grin
Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by egopersonified(f): 7:33pm On Dec 18, 2019
If she doesn't work, so she doesn't meet men, what about neighbours, taxi drivers, security men, men in markets, banks, school teachers, men coming to pick their kids from same school, men in filling stations, the gas dealer, male hairdressers, phone repairers, mechanics, vulcanizers, pastors, family friends, childhood friends......
Re: Never Blame A Man That Doesn't Want His Wife To Work by Nobody: 7:43pm On Dec 18, 2019
eyinjuege:


Yes, the way majority of Nigerian men are living the blissful life of the rich, with their family members not lacking. I see all the pension funds, education funds, big houses your average Nigerian man has.
Yes, it's all lies that majority of Nigerians live below the poverty level, afterall the men heading these households/ families have investments scattered all around.
It's all lies that university graduates including grown men are earning 30-50K in Nigeria.
We are all imagining these things. Yes, Nigeria is Eldorado where our men provide in abundance for their families

Theyoungmatron:
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin ;DThe funniest piece of work so far. Investments hahahahahahahahahaha...30k minimum wage investment.
Guy, smell the damn coffee please grin grin grin grin

It is very feasible even if you don't know how. One can invest, get insurance and contribute to an education fund for less than N7500 monthly. And I'm assuming that his employer will have already included him in a pension scheme. A family already used to spending 20k-30k on home expenses monthly would not need to have a multimillion dollar investment to get back that amount as profit. There are also dozens of ways to slightly supplement that income to survive.

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