eyinjuege:
My advice to the unmarried ladies out there, shine your eyes o. Love is just a facade in majority of Nigerian men. You need to establish yourself, and have a plan for your own life.
Many of them don't even have a plan for theirs, so don't wait on any man to take you to the promised land. Marriage is filled with many unmet expectations. Only you can make the difference in your life.
If you want to be comfortable in life, don't wait for any man.
Move with the right people whether male or female, who are purposeful. Not as a sexual partner, because that only distracts you from the goal.
Don't give up your dream and passion over the whims of any man.
Learn to take responsibility for your own life and circumstance. Make your own decisions and own them.
When you die, and go to the afterlife, you will not be known as anyone's wife, mother or child. You will be known as YOU

I just read the title and stumbled on your post.

I 100% agree and support the bold.

Ladies need to open their eyes to avoid stories that touch. Unfortunately, they do not like to.

RisenPhoenix:




It is very feasible even if you don't know how. One can invest, get insurance and contribute to an education fund for less than N7500 monthly. And I'm assuming that his employer will have already included him in a pension scheme. A family already used to spending 20k-30k on home expenses monthly would not need to have a multimillion dollar investment to get back that amount as profit. There are also dozens of ways to slightly supplement that income to survive.

Investments are good no doubt, but is it a person who doesnt know where the next day meal is coming from, or how to pay school fees for his 2 children (who are in 15K /term schools) that will think of an educational fund investment for those same children?
Let's be realistic, only a few men can do all those things you listed.
Not every man works in a bank (many banks are filled with contract staff now sef, paid peanuts), only few work in a hospital, fewer work in oil companies, majoriry of those who have their own businesses run bankrupt ones, many are roaming the streets jobless and looking for food, some continue to follow politicians/nurtw/ councillors etc so they can receive small change every day to feed their families.
There is serious poverty in the land and things are getting worse. Everybody would buy into the idea of investing, but most times it's just not feasible.
You seem to speak from a place of privilege, but remember the average Nigerian cannot afford that 7500k monthly to save into any investment fund.

RisenPhoenix:




It is very feasible even if you don't know how. One can invest, get insurance and contribute to an education fund for less than N7500 monthly. And I'm assuming that his employer will have already included him in a pension scheme. A family already used to spending 20k-30k on home expenses monthly would not need to have a multimillion dollar investment to get back that amount as profit. There are also dozens of ways to slightly supplement that income to survive.

You live in the textbooks sir.

DenreleDave:
Yes, it always good to hear the other side of the story.
I don't support caging a woman and thereby stopping her career. But most men knows the kind of woman he married, he may be scared dt if she goes out there and mingle with men out there, she might commit adultery.. Like I said, i don't support caging a woman but most ladies come here and don't say the truth.

A lady posted here about how her husband caught her cheating with a colleague at work and she even said, she wunt mind having him Inside her. Las las, after 2 or 3 kids, the husband divorced her.

https://www.nairaland.com/5162191/cheated-husband-guy-work-dont

Things like this makes men think twice before deciding whether his wife should work or not...

Cc: fountainofyouth, sbl, funmisticqueen

I feel a man should not work.
He might go to work and mingle with female colleagues, thereby committing adultery.
Best he stays at home.
.
Yeah.... Think on that and tell me if that stops adultery.

LordKO:




Submission shouldn't be equated with subservience. It's very obvious that you, just like many others, have erroneous understanding of what submission in this context is and what it entails. Maybe I have to blame the obvious misconception on its ambiguity. Yes, I'm a proponent of submission, but with a sure different, not necessarily superior, understanding of what it's and what it entails.

Submission, just like love which is its variant, is encompassing. It's a compound word that literally has no meaning on its own without its constituents (good attributes like selflessness and meekness). It's a compound feminine word that denotes feminine goodness, just as love is a compound masculine word that denotes masculine goodness too, all in the context under discussion - neither submission nor love is a sign of weakness and neither of them is inferior nor superior to each other. They just differ in nomenclatures and application - just as males and females are equal as human beings but differ biologically. Only few women possess its attributes and can give genuine version of it - every woman can give a fake version of it in many guises to any man subject to circumstances.

So, it's wrong to forcefully assert that "A man must decide how he wants his home to be run." - what's conscientious and palatable is that a man must have a sound moral philosophy on which he can walk and work with his wife. The philosophy must be sound I say, because real submission works spontaneously with real love - only sane men can love genuinely, just as only sane women can submit genuinely.

A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way - authority is different from authoritarianism. A sane wife is expected to submit to the authority of a sane/loving man, she's not expected to submit to authoritarianism - only servile women (people) can condone authoritarianism in any setting - strive to be a leader rather than an authoritarian/dictator. Right without responsibility equates to mental parochialism.

Actually, authoritarianism doesn't know gender; there're both authoritarian men and women with penchant for subjugation as their major hallmark - hello to chauvinistic and inhumane men and women; wannabe alpha males and wannabe feminists. Of course, I don't hold brief for servile people also.

It's not only African men who expect submission from their women, only wannabes of the West have such erroneous thought. Show me a marriage anywhere in the world where both spouses mutually and genuinely have inner peace and I'll show you a genuine loving man and a genuine submissive woman.

I doff my hat for humane,sane,conscientious,strong-minded and altruistic men and women.

"only sane men can love genuinely, just as only sane women can submit genuinely".......Well captured

Kingpee2:
We men can be rational sometimes ,don’t you think our children also deserves a working mother Incase anything goes wrong ,it could be anything ,I know a man that said this same words to his wife ,he’s regretting today because he’s now on wheelchair ever since he was involved in a terrible accident ,it could even be worse than that,save your children from financial crisis and stop being greedy over your trust issues ....If my wife wants to work Abeg let her work,after all ,it only means we both will be contributing and supporting in all ways ...

Even my MIL lamented to me. Her husband didn't let her work and he passed on at about 50yrs plus. She had to depend on whatever the children could send to her till now. She doesn't have any savings, pension, etc.

That decision by husbands should be well thought through. I was very careful about marrying a man with such mentality. I can't have someone surpress me because of his insecurities.

A housewife can be idle enough to sleep with her neighbour. If you are trying to curb a cheating wife, quit your own job too and sit with her at home

ImaIma1:


Even my MIL lamented to me. Her husband didn't let her work and he passed on at about 50yrs plus. She had to depend on whatever the children could send to her till now. She doesn't have any savings, pension, etc.

That decision by husbands should be well thought through. I was very careful about marrying a man with such mentality. I can't have someone surpress me because of his insecurities.

A housewife can be idle enough to sleep with her neighbour. If you are trying to curb a cheating wife, quit your own job too and sit with her at home

Hahaha haha @ quit your job and sit with her at home. Mogbe

healthserve:




Hahaha haha @ quit your job and sit with her at home. Mogbe

A woman who cheats, will cheat regardless of the circumstances. Is it every banker, nurse, realtor, doctor that cheat on their husbands?

Men will definitely hit on women...married or single. Just this week, I have heard of two instances, a guy slept with his married colleague and her husband locked the guy up in a police cell. Another company... a man kept harassing a married colleague, pregnant for that matter. But she reported him and he was seriously punished.

Things happen. Let's not label every married career woman a cheat. I have been working since before university. And one man will just come and tell me to sit at home. He must have his head checked first.

ImaIma1:


A woman who cheats, will cheat regardless of the circumstances. Is it every banker, nurse, realtor, doctor that cheat on their husbands?

Men will definitely hit on women...married or single. Just this week, I have heard of two instances, a guy slept with his married colleague and her husband locked the guy up in a police cell. Another company... a man kept harassing a married colleague, pregnant for that matter. But she reported him and he was seriously punished.

Things happen. Let's not label every married career woman a cheat. I have been working since before university. And one man will just come and tell me to sit at home. He must have his head checked first.

Romanoff:
Most men are very selfish sha.

Why then did the woman have an education? Or will you forbid your daughters from going to school since she'd end up a house wife?

Men are committing adultery on a daily basis and their wives still choose to stay cause they are the bread winner. Asides societal stigmatization of divorcees, a working woman can decide to leave a man treating her badly, why? She can afford to take care of the kids on her own.

The only power a man really has over a woman in marriage is financial provision. A working woman will break that monopoly by augmenting what her husband earns with her pay.

Before you marry, look out for a woman who was brought up well, look beyond the human hair, heavily made up face and designer clothes and bags and look out for the character of a woman before you even go into a relationship with her talk more of marriage.

This post just reeks of insecurity.

impressive