bremo:
You seem not to appreciate the fact that God has been so gracious to you. Where you are right now coupled with what you are doing right now, some people want to have but they couldn't. Don't be hard on yourself as you are doing right now. Yes, you may not be where you want to be right now but there is still hope for you. Stop counting yourself hopeless!!! Its just a matter of you getting yourself together and keep moving with your new plans. Anything out of this will get you wounded the more or totally destroyed.
Wish you all of your best.

santakris:
Please see a psychologist. God will perfect everything concerning you. Amen.

tchidi066:
Sorry op, i guess you are yet to heal from your mom's demise and you are finding it tough to let her go. When you finally do, i suggest you improve on your social interaction with people. I see you as someone who isolate and keep to himself often, it's not helping you mentally, you need to interact more, make new friends, get a partner, attend outings if invited... according to ur post, u were once bright, why not get a side hustle or skill to support your salary, there are so many out there, plumbering, learning to place tiles, or even web and graphic designing. You can't remain a security guard forever, apply for other jobs too. Finally believe in God for upliftment, believe your situation will surely turn out good someday. Wish you all the best

tchidi066:
Sorry op, i guess you are yet to heal from your mom's demise and you are finding it tough to let her go. When you finally do, i suggest you improve on your social interaction with people. I see you as someone who isolate and keep to himself often, it's not helping you mentally, you need to interact more, make new friends, get a partner, attend outings if invited... according to ur post, u were once bright, why not get a side hustle or skill to support your salary, there are so many out there, plumbering, learning to place tiles, or even web and graphic designing. You can't remain a security guard forever, apply for other jobs too. Finally believe in God for upliftment, believe your situation will surely turn out good someday. Wish you all the best

olisaEze:
You’ve just been struggling with depression, but what u need is to snap out of it and stop feeling sorry for urself. Life’s hard and uve got to fight to get to where u want to be. From ur gist, u seem to look to others for direction when u only need to look inwards. If u can, get the book Awaken The Giant Within by Anthony Robbins. It helped me when I was down and motivated me to become the man that I am today. U might not believe it, but read it and thank me later. Peace....

Moezzy1:
Yes, I always isolate myself and i feels im not good enough to have a partner now coz of the nature of my job

tchidi066:

Then you need to stop isolating yourself, go out there and see the world, i've seen people with lasser jobs than you and they have partners, stop seeing yourself as not good enough, improve your self esteem, give it a try first before you conclude, things can turn around for good with a positive mindset
#peace

Moezzy1:
I don't know how to start writing this and I'm even confused on what to write but i know deep down within me that something is wrong with my mental

I'm 27, and i am not focused about life, I tried to be focus but i keep blaming myself for how i have failed myself.
I don't really know what i want, I'm neither here nor there.

I remember when i was in Secondary School, i was one of the bright kid in my class, all through my primary education, my grades were very good. I had said to myself that i will be a graduate before I become 25, but my dreams were shattered what happened to me still remain a misery .

In 2014, I lost mum. I was heartbroken coz she seems to be the only one that knows what was really wrong with me, when she was alive she never let me off her sight.

After her death, I was really broken coz know one to run to for any assistant. So i started working as a security guard in a company, 20k as salary.
I was trying to save some money so i can learn a skill but something happened, but i really don't know what happened

In 2016, a cousin of mine called and told me to quit the job, that he have a better plan for me. I didn't think twice, so i quite and move to the State where he was, the action i later regret.

When i got there it was not what i had expected, I was used, as a slave I don't know

I stayed there for close 3yrs, with nothing to show for it, each night i weep and i later realize that I'm not okay coz sometimes the kind of thought i had seems not to be my own.

About 7months ago, i moved back here to the State i was before, when i got here, I went back to the company i was working as a security guard, they accepted me back because they said i had a clean record when i was working with them.

Now in October, they transferred me to a private resident, to be working as a guard/gateman

I shouldn't have been here, my life is a failure. I'm trying so hard to control the state of mind coz it seems that im about to run mad.

Please how can i get back my mental power?

The way my thoughts are hunting me, i might not cross over to 2020

I'm stuck

Help me Oh Lord

zexy2030:
Moezzy1
Just stop that self pity talk, think on how to build yourself with the resources in your hand now.
Days of little beginning should not be despised.
What I see in your pain is comparison, there is no wisdom in comparison.
Comparison is good when you compare yourself with those u r better off but that shouldn't make complacent or contended but gradually build your life, as you work and quietly build your life prayerfully, your life will gradually improve and you will neither lament or blame ur father, dead mother or sibling for your failures. You r living, u r not handicapped, neither an orphan, nor homeless, or an abandoned cancer patient.
Think deep about what you have than what you don't have.
You even have an android phone to complain on nairaland. If some girls tell you what they suffer, you will thank God for being a guy and u r working.
See, I started life at 34(above now) though not married yet with endless struggles for17yrs of my life was sleeping in church, I left secondary school at 17...I won't tell u the rest, but trying to make u understand I senior you in this struggle. Don't consider your problems, thank God for your prospects, design a dream, gradually work on them. never too late to start afresh.
For instance, if education is your aim obtain GCE( 5k), buy text books, read and pray.
If u have 5crdts enrol for national open university.
Learn a skill on your off days like driving, graphics/ printing. Carwash can be part of your hussle..
So much more to do with your life to better your living than thinking of committing suicide or becoming mad.
Appreciate the rod in your hand, it can divide the red sea before you.
That's my advice.

Moezzy1:
Yes, I always isolate myself and i feels im not good enough to have a partner now coz of the nature of my job

Moezzy1:
I don't know how to start writing this and I'm even confused on what to write but i know deep down within me that something is wrong with my mental

I'm 27, and i am not focused about life, I tried to be focus but i keep blaming myself for how i have failed myself.
I don't really know what i want, I'm neither here nor there.

I remember when i was in Secondary School, i was one of the bright kid in my class, all through my primary education, my grades were very good. I had said to myself that i will be a graduate before I become 25, but my dreams were shattered what happened to me still remain a misery .

In 2014, I lost mum. I was heartbroken coz she seems to be the only one that knows what was really wrong with me, when she was alive she never let me off her sight.

After her death, I was really broken coz know one to run to for any assistant. So i started working as a security guard in a company, 20k as salary.
I was trying to save some money so i can learn a skill but something happened, but i really don't know what happened

In 2016, a cousin of mine called and told me to quit the job, that he have a better plan for me. I didn't think twice, so i quite and move to the State where he was, the action i later regret.

When i got there it was not what i had expected, I was used, as a slave I don't know

I stayed there for close 3yrs, with nothing to show for it, each night i weep and i later realize that I'm not okay coz sometimes the kind of thought i had seems not to be my own.

About 7months ago, i moved back here to the State i was before, when i got here, I went back to the company i was working as a security guard, they accepted me back because they said i had a clean record when i was working with them.

Now in October, they transferred me to a private resident, to be working as a guard/gateman

I shouldn't have been here, my life is a failure. I'm trying so hard to control the state of mind coz it seems that im about to run mad.

Please how can i get back my mental power?

The way my thoughts are hunting me, i might not cross over to 2020

I'm stuck

Help me Oh Lord

chidiebereuzoma:

Op please avoid women at this stage of your life, especially Nigerian women!
They may end up making you lose your remaining sanity.
PLEASE FORGET ABOUT WOMEN NOW

Moezzy1:
I don't even have the boldness to approach any lady coz of my financial instability

favoryte33:
You are going 2ru a depressive state which is a mental disorder but you aren't loosing your mind. Are u being maltreated where u are working presently? How about your siblings&dad,do u communicate with them? Have u any goal in life?Let's start from here.