Be decisive. Take action. Lead the relationship. And, in most cases (although certainly not all) your partner will love you for it.

3. Stand Your Ground

I screwed up several otherwise great relationships because I was too weak to hold my ground.

Typically, there was a conflict of values or beliefs between me and my partner and | mistakenly thought that compromising on what I cared about most would make them love me.

It didn't. They simply lost respect for me and moved on.

You don't need to be an ass hole here. But in any relationship, you must hold your

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You don't need to be an ass hole here. But in any relationship, you must hold your ground. Stand up for what you believe in. Don't waver in your beliefs and values. And NEVER make a massive life decision that will affect your dreams and ambitions simply to make your partner happy.

4. Understand the Difference Between Healthy and Unhealthy Compromise

You WILL have to compromise in relationships. Period. Unless you find a woman who loves playing Call of Duty with you, drinking beer with the boys, and watching re-runs of the Rocky trilogy every Friday night, you're going to have to do things you don't want to do. This is healthy.

What’s not healthy is when you

compromise yourself, your values, and your haliofo

If you decide to change major aspects of yourself and what you believe just to make your partner happy they will lose respect for you and you'll subconsciously lose respect for yourself.

I can't tell you how many times unhealthy compromise ended otherwise great relationships.

Learn the difference and you’ll save yourself years of heartache.

5. Love Yourself

You can’t love someone else until you love yourself.

If you don't have high levels of self-esteem, a solid bedrock of confidence, and cultivate seIf-Iove on a daily basis, your relationship is doomed.

Simply put, without self-Iove, there can be no love for others.

You'll constantly be using others to gain validation and approval instead of giving yourself validation and approval and then inviting others on the journey with you.

You'll enter into relationships to get something instead of to give something.

Love yourself like your life depends on it. Because it does.

6. Realize that Love is Blind

Even though I made plenty of mistakes in my relationships, one of the bigger mistakes I made was failing to realize that love is blind.

I got into and stayed in many many

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relationships that simply weren't a good match.

Our values conflicted, our personalities clashed, but hey... The sex was great and we had fun together so I thought I “loved” the people I was with.

It’s important to realize that although love is important, it's not enough. Not by a long shot

Love is merely the fll’St step, but you need genuine compatibility and respect to make a relationship last.

7. Respect is Everything

If you don't respect your partner or if they don’t respect you, end the relationship now. Pehod.

Without respect you have nothing. If you don't genuinely respect and admire your partner for who they are, what they provide, and how they act, then you don't have the requisite foundation for a lasting relationship.

8. Just Because a Relationship Ends Doesn't Mean You Failed

It’s funny to me how people point at the increased divorce rate as if it’s a bad thing.

Sure, more than 50% of marriages end. But is that really a bad thing? Is it a bad thing to realize that you and your partner are on different paths and need to go your own separate ways? Is really 8 ”Failure" if you can't make every relationship last till death do you part?

Of course not! Just because a relationship has ended doesn't mean you failed. Use it as an opportunity to learn and grow and improve for the next time.

9. Be Unwilling to Tolerate things You Find Unacceptable

In any relationship, you must have a very clear list of the things you will and will not tolerate from your partner.

These are your own personal guidelines.

For example, I will not tolerate a partner who:

. ls addicted to dangerous substances

. Lies, cheats, or steals from me

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her people with contempt

. Treats ot and apathy

. Gossips, treats other people like crap, and spreads rumors about

her “friends”

And the list goes on.

I can’t tell you how many times I tolerated

ALL of the above things in one of my partners simply because I was too scared

to be single.

You need to know what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship and have the guts to actually enforce that.

People are free to do whatever they want. You don’t need to judge others for their choices. But you should be willing to set your standards high enough that you're

10. Understand How Biology Impacts Relationships

Until recently, I never realized just how profoundly biology impacts relationships.

If I eat the wrong things, have a bad night of sleep, get injured at the gym, or skip my morning meditation, I am MUCH more likely to get annoyed with my partner and take things out on them that aren’t their fault.

By simply gaining an awareness of how biology impacts your relationship you can have greater control of it.

Today, if I have a crappy night of sleep and drink a little too much with friends, I’ll simply tell my girlfriend, "Look, l'm going to be grumpy for the next 6 hours. it’s not your

fault, I’m just tired and hungover... but ifl act annoved or net snannv. l'm sorrv... l inst