Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

Blindersoff:


Op i will tell you straight up and it is up to you to take it or leave it. You are the man of the house and should lead by example.

There is a reason you are the groom and your wife is the Bride. You are to groom the bride. Teach her all that is right and learn from her mistakes those areas you need to GROOM her on.

Right now she has shown you a side of her which i agree is not nice because the girl is her relation and i would not classify such a person as just a house help. SHE IS FAMILY.

Call your wife and apologize to her for your outburst and then calmly teach her or tell her where she went wrong and why the girl needs to be treated right. Let her know that the girl is more or less family since she is related to your wife. This is a very simple matter.

You can then take your wife out and while both of you are out you suggest buying a few clothes for the girl and let her choose what she feels is appropriate to buy for her. Some women grow up with a certain mindset that never changes overnight and i see your wife as one of those. Do not go out and buy stuff for the girl by yourself otherwise you would cause more problems for yourself and for her in the home. Encourage and pet your wife to do that.


I am sure she is a nice woman but maybe in this area in particular she is yet to embrace some truths. Apologize to her.

Ignore all those children here who are saying she needs to come and apologize to you. As the head of your home you are to lead by example. yes she was wrong but you show her the right way by initiating peace. As the head of a home which i also am we take a lot of shit deliberately just so there would be peace at home. It does not make us stupid but after taking this shit, quickly correct the impression calmly then the woman would become aware and she would respect you more.

Merry Christmas to your household

STENON:
The heart of human is purely more wicked than the devil ...

You can purchase xmas clothes for the girl as xmas gift. Just be monitoring her keenly as your madam is likely to frustrate your househelp.

highcurrent:
THE FEAR OF SOME WOMEN IS THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM

OP, you did the right thing by giving her money to shop for everybody at home, including the house help.

as it goes DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU WANT TO BE DONE TO YOU.

OP don't even beg her, na small pikin dey worry am.

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

Graxie:
Why are you engaging a minor as househelp? Why. Both you and your wife, you are horrible.

So, why would your wife's relative be your househelp This sounds awkward!!!
Can't your wife ask you guys to assist her relative to stay with you without dehumanizing her status as a househelp

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

diplomat058:
Sir, You are under arrest for being too intelligent and possessive of problem-solving skills

Lolz, thanks for the psychosocial enlightenment up there Sir

TonyeBarcanista:

[s]Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.[/s]

EricBloodAxe:

Stick to politics. This advice of yours is a product of poverty mentality and a local background. Life must have been definitely hard for you while growing up.

TemmyT002:
You reacted by saying some harsh words.
One sentence that usually hurt people deeply and which is not an abuse is, "I am disappointed in you."
That thing dey pain ehn

All you to do now is apologize to her and hug her. Make her happy. Don't call her wicked.
Buy more gifts for her and buy for the girl too.

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

TonyeBarcanista:

How did you conclude that the wife ks wicked? Let us watch what we say towards people's spouses.

I am very sure that the wife acted the way did because of the discomfort she feels with a second "woman" enjoying the attention and niceties of her husband.

Honestly, I can NEVER fault her! I have seen first hand where lovely and nice househelp got pregnant for oga and he was asked to marry her as second wife - which he did!

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted