I initially planned to create a thread about my own personal issues until I saw Michellekabod2’s thread, which acted as a push for me to do this thread. I used to be a part of this forum but I deactivated. Being lonely is no joke and millions are lonely through no fault of theirs. Personally, I understand what Michellekabod2 is going through but mine is different because I am male & my circumstances are different. I have a warped perception of Nigerian women in particular and women in General. Nigerian women are all about money & what they can gain from a relationship, without even attempting to know a man. All they want is a rich, tall, “Godfearing man” ( not that they give a fvck about the man’s morals, they just slot that in to mask their hypergamy & covetousness). Also, women in general are incapable of giving love to men as they have none to give.

Fortunately for Nigerian women, most Nigerian guys are now getting to understand them for who they are & that is a bar to new relationships until when money is made—unless you can beg as a man. This brings in another issue that is personal, I cannot beg a woman. It is either the feelings are mutual—with a healthy dose of interest by the woman—or I wait till I have money to control the relationship. Unfortunately, the money is not there yet so I have to remain single until I have the money to commandeer a relationship. Make no mistake about it, money gives a man lots of confidence, irrespective of any opinion to the contrary. Unless of course you’re willing to beg a Nigerian woman & be her foot mat.

Another factor affecting relationships in Nigeria is that social media has poisoned the streams of love, thereby influencing the information young people receive about issues of the heart. For example, whenever I am bored, I come to romance and family section and I see a cacophony of opinions by feminists who broke shame men & say go make money, thus hardening the men & turning them to potential beasts who will maltreat women when they eventually make that money. Similarly, I see misogynistic comments from guys too who claim to be red pillers. While I partially endorse the principles espoused by Ubunja & Co, I think they are not applicable to the Nigerian society because of the widespread poverty prevalent here. No matter how “Alpha” you are, you won’t succeed with Nigerian women without money as that is all they are interested in. And I don’t blame them for that, the economy is too harsh and sex is the only bargaining tool for most of them. As a result of the outlined issues, the difficulty in getting into a relationship in this part of the world is further made Herculean.


In the end, we are all scared of being vulnerable and hurt so we erect invincible barriers around our hearts to protect against being victims of love. Hence I can understand why the median age for marriage (for men especially) in Nigeria is now 34 or mid 30s).

I would therefore counsel against insulting Michellekabod2 as her issues resonate with me, albeit different being a man. I think we are all being careful of opening ourselves up to relationships that may eventually hurt us. To be clear, if you are a Nigerian man intending to go into a relationship without a defence of your own(money), be ready for untold insults & suffering. You will have to beg throughout the relationship and that is not what a man with a healthy dose of self esteem wants to subject himself to.

As we head into the new year, I pray things look up for us individually so we can have healthier and genuinely loving relationships.

I welcome all comments, even snide or rude ones.

You are 100% right . Tye worst is a girl who can't feed herself for a week will open her mouth a call a well to do man broke because he refuse to give her money as if is her father that opened business for the man or found job for him. Money money money is all Nigerian girls knows and men are now running away from them. If you need real love just travel outside Nigeria . Ghana, Cameroon , or sa and you will expirence what real love us all about. Don't blame it on economy but blame it on greed. Because other countries I have been to doesn't have money like Nigeria but see there men getting married and living happily with there women. Nigerian girls are greedy and evil. Ny brother

I agree

for Nigerian women, no money no love

I don't think it's a Nigerian thing. Some of us can still hold our arses wether there's money on not. It all depends on your power of conviction.

Mashallah, brother you're 100 % right. Even us Muslims face same problem now a days.

This trait is NATURAL for ladies, to always be on the receiving end.

And correction bro.. It's not just a Nigerian thing.. It's worldwide, from experience.

For a guy, The solution is simple.. If you can't step up to it, you should confidently step out, cos no matter how hard you try, you can't take this trait away from the female folks.