I actually know someone that use to be my friend who did the exact same thing, she is very obese, she told me she didn't think she can meet a man that will love her and her stature, I always encourage her to be patient, not until she one day told me she was pregnant, I didn't even notice cos of how big she is, she was pregnant for a married man, she prefers being a baby mama, i was really sad,


It's actually an esteem issue and has to do with the psych, your wife should be careful of her.

doggedfighter:
You will soon destroy your marriage by yourself.
Oversabi gossip

Peradventure the marriage gets destroyed, who loses? The OP or the wife? Oh, so because you’ve heard the wife is a Branch Manager of a Bank now, she can do & undo to the detriment of her marriage abi?

I won’t say further so I won’t be labeled a misogynist hater. But I really fear women like you. How dare you threaten the OP with the destruction of his marriage simply because he wants to caution his wife? If he can’t caution his wife even if she’s the CEO of GTB, who will?

I don tire for these kind women jareeee.

doggedfighter:
You will soon destroy your marriage by yourself.
Oversabi gossip

I think the wife is the one doing that indirectly. She's a married woman and should know better than to break another woman's home.

uninspired07:


Peradventure the marriage gets destroyed, who loses? The OP or the wife? Oh, so because you’ve heard the wife is a Branch Manager of a Bank now, she can do & undo to the detriment of her marriage abi?

I won’t say further so I won’t be labeled a misogynist hater. But I really fear women like you. How dare you threaten the OP with the destruction of his marriage simply because he wants to caution his wife? If he can’t caution his wife even if she’s the CEO of GTB, who will?

I don tire for these kind women jareeee.

I fear men that reason like you more.

Nmeri17:




chai! I missed you sha. happy holidays. how chichi dem? I wish there was a way to compress your sagacity and experience into one ingestable pill or injection and administer once and for all. I go dey alright

Hahahaha!
Chi-Chi dem dey fine o.
Happy holidays to you toooooo.

Fillibuster:
I had to create a new moniker to post this.

I hate posting private issues but we all need a sounding board to check our ideas to prevent us from over reacting

I am married with a son. Like all homes we do have our ups and down.
This morning my wife received a call from a colleague. She (wife) works as a branch manager in a financial establishment. The call was from a subordinate. My wife was asking her if she remembered to tell her boyfriend to buy them the chicken.
I got interested in the conversation and i prodded my wife for more explanation and she said the said colleague is dating a married man who happens to live in my neighborhood.
I was shocked!
Her excuse was that the colleague was extremely obesed and had little or no chasers.
I just contained myself because i was already going out this morning to conclude a transaction.
But right within me, i am already bursting at the seams.

I don't want to say what's on my mind but i am shock that her morale compass is dead. How can she subtly encourage her friend to wreak another home? All because she is fat.

I want mature ladies and married men to weigh in on this issue. No immature stuff pls.
I am seated in my office trying to digest this info and my next line of action once i get home.
am i over-reacting?


Pls mod dont take this to front page.

lol.

Oga, most bankers are morally bankrupt when it comes to issues of the heart.

But your woman is married, talk to her.

theButterfly:
I think the wife is the one doing that indirectly. She's a married woman and should know better than to break another woman's home.

What do you guys know about the home of the said married man? Perhaps he's even amongst one of those men that have been advised to divorce their wives on NL, since plenty women full ground
Perhaps he is a muslim wanting to marry more wives?
Perhaps he's just a randy goat like some of those shouting righteous indignation on here, meanwhile they have several concubines despite being married. Even OP may have his own single concubine .
Just much ado about nonsense.

KanwuliaExtra:
I blame your wife for telling you about her friend’s personal life.
Now, you want to pass judgement on your wife.
I have always maintained the decree that MARRIED people should not have SINGLE, WIDOWED or DIVORCED friends for reasons like this. Different HUSTLES, different RUNZ!

Your wife needs to learn to maintain boundaries.
If she must keep friends, she must learn to keep their lives out of her matrimonial home and vice versa.

As for you, I don’t blame you much. Don’t face your “manly bizz”, keep tying wrapper and gossip worse than womenfolk.
If your male friend were cheating, would you judge him in the same manner or tell your wife?
I blame your wife for having a “lose tongue”
That is how women dig their own graves by telling everything to their husbands thinking they are fostering trust.
Men have very shallow and petty minds generally-speaking.
Anything you tell them(hussie) WILL BE USED AGAINST the wives at some point in the future.

Can the wife’s friend ever come to that house without being under the scrutiny of sanctimonious, matrimonial gossips aka judgmental hypocrites?

Well spoken

KanwuliaExtra:
I blame your wife for telling you about her friend’s personal life.
Now, you want to pass judgement on your wife.
I have always maintained the decree that MARRIED people should not have SINGLE, WIDOWED or DIVORCED friends for reasons like this. Different HUSTLES, different RUNZ!

Your wife needs to learn to maintain boundaries.
If she must keep friends, she must learn to keep their lives out of her matrimonial home and vice versa.

As for you, I don’t blame you much. Don’t face your “manly bizz”, keep tying wrapper and gossip worse than womenfolk.
If your male friend were cheating, would you judge him in the same manner or tell your wife?
I blame your wife for having a “lose tongue”
That is how women dig their own graves by telling everything to their husbands thinking they are fostering trust.
Men have very shallow and petty minds generally-speaking.
Anything you tell them(hussie) WILL BE USED AGAINST the wives at some point in the future.

Can the wife’s friend ever come to that house without being under the scrutiny of sanctimonious, matrimonial gossips aka judgmental hypocrites?

it's the Holy Spirit that could have given u such wisdom.. Splendid reply.. Happy new year.. U av earned my respect for life

Mad one!!!

Mama the mama. After you na you!!

KanwuliaExtra:
I blame your wife for telling you about her friend’s personal life.
Now, you want to pass judgement on your wife.
I have always maintained the decree that MARRIED people should not have SINGLE, WIDOWED or DIVORCED friends for reasons like this. Different HUSTLES, different RUNZ!

Your wife needs to learn to maintain boundaries.
If she must keep friends, she must learn to keep their lives out of her matrimonial home and vice versa.

As for you, I don’t blame you much. Don’t face your “manly bizz”, keep tying wrapper and gossip worse than womenfolk.
If your male friend were cheating, would you judge him in the same manner or tell your wife?
I blame your wife for having a “lose tongue”
That is how women dig their own graves by telling everything to their husbands thinking they are fostering trust.
Men have very shallow and petty minds generally-speaking.
Anything you tell them(hussie) WILL BE USED AGAINST the wives at some point in the future.

Can the wife’s friend ever come to that house without being under the scrutiny of sanctimonious, matrimonial gossips aka judgmental hypocrites?

The level of infidelity among married women is so high that if care is not taken, high percentage of next generation kids would come from broken homes. Just this evening in my area, a man caught his wife being dropped in their house. Come and see beating. Smash windshield and damaged the car. The wife ran into another house. The concubine was restless It was just unexplainable.

Op, your thoughts might be right. Take necessary steps to cut the awkward relationship. Safe your home before your wife is influenced by bad company. Like the warri proverb someone said, na from clap dance dey take start..

Assumption-based arguments aren't my cup of tea.

eyinjuege:


What do you guys know about the home of the said married man? Perhaps he's even amongst one of those men that have been advised to divorce their wives on NL, since plenty women full ground
Perhaps he is a muslim wanting to marry more wives?
Perhaps he's just a randy goat like some of those shouting righteous indignation on here, meanwhile they have several concubines despite being married. Even OP may have his own single concubine .
Just much ado about nonsense.

theButterfly:
Assumption-based arguments aren't my cup of tea.

No, neither are arguments based on sentiments mine.

My reply was based on facts [from the OP], not sentiments. I didn't pick arguments out of thin air like you've done. Yours seems to be based on sentiments with your assumptions that OP's looking to divorce his wife, is a Muslim looking to marry more wives, or is a "randy goat" that's already cheating on his wife. That he created the thread doesn't mean he has ulterior motives. He clearly doesn't subscribe to what his wife is doing, so is concern is very much legit.

eyinjuege:


No, neither are arguments based on sentiments mine.

So true and very well said!!
Soon he will start checking his madam phone to find out unfindables and suspicion galore.

Happy New Year KanwuliaExtra!

KanwuliaExtra:
I blame your wife for telling you about her friend’s personal life.
Now, you want to pass judgement on your wife.
I have always maintained the decree that MARRIED people should not have SINGLE, WIDOWED or DIVORCED friends for reasons like this. Different HUSTLES, different RUNZ!

Your wife needs to learn to maintain boundaries.
If she must keep friends, she must learn to keep their lives out of her matrimonial home and vice versa.

As for you, I don’t blame you much. Don’t face your “manly bizz”, keep tying wrapper and gossip worse than womenfolk.
If your male friend were cheating, would you judge him in the same manner or tell your wife?
I blame your wife for having a “lose tongue”
That is how women dig their own graves by telling everything to their husbands thinking they are fostering trust.
Men have very shallow and petty minds generally-speaking.
Anything you tell them(hussies) WILL BE USED AGAINST the wives at some point in the future.

Can the wife’s friend ever come to that house without being under the scrutiny of sanctimonious, matrimonial gossips aka judgmental hypocrites?

movement2020:
The level of infidelity among married women is so high that if care is not taken, high percentage of next generation kids would come from broken homes. Just this evening in my area, a man caught his wife being dropped in their house. Come and see beating. Smash windshield and damaged the car. The wife ran into another house. The concubine was restless It was just unexplainable.

Op, your thoughts might be right. Take necessary steps to cut the awkward relationship. Safe your home before your wife is influenced by bad company. Like the warri proverb someone said, na from clap dance dey take start..

What makes you think his wife is not the influencer? Because she’s married

You’re right to be worried that she’s okay with that.

Ask her what she would think if another obese lady with no chasers comes to date you. Would she happy about that?

Sometimes we need to put the shoe on the other foot or basically put ourselves in other people’s shoes to realize that some things we do are not okay.

@Fillibuster, I think you wife views relationships from a transactional level (where relationships are maintained based on the perceived benefits).

I hope she doesn't follow the same kind of reasoning she is suggesting to he friend

Fillibuster:
I had to create a new moniker to post this.

I hate posting private issues but we all need a sounding board to check our ideas to prevent us from over reacting

I am married with a son. Like all homes we do have our ups and down.
This morning my wife received a call from a colleague. She (wife) works as a branch manager in a financial establishment. The call was from a subordinate. My wife was asking her if she remembered to tell her boyfriend to buy them the chicken.
I got interested in the conversation and i prodded my wife for more explanation and she said the said colleague is dating a married man who happens to live in my neighborhood.
I was shocked!
Her excuse was that the colleague was extremely obesed and had little or no chasers.
I just contained myself because i was already going out this morning to conclude a transaction.
But right within me, i am already bursting at the seams.

I don't want to say what's on my mind but i am shock that her morale compass is dead. How can she subtly encourage her friend to wreak another home? All because she is fat.

I want mature ladies and married men to weigh in on this issue. No immature stuff pls.
I am seated in my office trying to digest this info and my next line of action once i get home.
am i over-reacting?


Pls mod dont take this to front page.

You are not over reacting. If anything, you have under reacted. See, two wrongs don't make a right. Being obese is not an excuse to share someone else's husband. If her obesity is the reason she is getting few or no chasers, then let her try to work on it.

And please talk to your wife and make her see reasons why she needs to discourage such. In fact, may be you can ask her if she would feel empathetic if you cheat with someone obese.

Biglittlelois:
I actually know someone that use to be my friend who did the exact same thing, she is very obese, she told me she didn't think she can meet a man that will love her and her stature, I always encourage her to be patient, not until she one day told me she was pregnant, I didn't even notice cos of how big she is, she was pregnant for a married man, she prefers being a baby mama, i was really sad,


It's actually an esteem issue and has to do with the psych, your wife should be careful of her.

His wife should be careful of her? She is the one encouraging her. His wife should be doing what you did.

I think the wife is the one doing that indirectly. She's a married woman and should know better than to break another woman's home.

How? Don't u people comprehend stuffs? Or u expect the married lady to nag the obese one to steer clear the man? Will she be there to give her emotional support? D obese one is mature and should take responsibility for her actions.

I'm sure the married lady tried initially to talk the obese one out of the affair to no deal and she decided to flow along as per friend. No need for her acting all moral and prim to someone who wouldn't change.


So many married peeps have affairs outside, only d silly ones will allow it affect their homes.

donbachi:
so cos she is ur wife,she must be morally 100% as human...as such must not have crazy friends/people around her...ur wife's friend chose how to live her own life,so don't let her friend's wayward lifestyle affect ur marriage...allow ur wife to be...unless na ur wife coordinate d whole stuff.then u have something to worry about..dat she knows of it does not make her an accomplice.

there is a adage which says " show me your friends and I will tell you who you are" if you want to really know if your teenage son/daughter is taking a wrong or right step the best way to do that is to study the lifestyle of their friends, your child/ wife/husband knows how to conceal their true identity from you, but through their friends you would see the manifestations, Don't ignore signs my friend.

You judge your wife already with your moral compass. She could be holding such position tentatively.

That she is your wife is not a prison sentence on her freedom of thoughts and association. You don't seem that close to your wife intimately that could be why you wan kee yourself with HBP.

What then happens when you get really close and she opens her underbelly? Understand yourself, understand human nature, understand your woman and enjoy the comedy.

Don't be too rigid. Inject flexibility.

mysticwarrior:
there is a adage which says " show me your friends and I will tell you who you are" if you want to really know if your teenage son/daughter is taking a wrong or right step the best way to do that is to study the lifestyle of their friends, your child/ wife/husband knows how to conceal their true identity from you, but through their friends you would see the manifestations, Don't ignore signs my friend.

I have a lot of crazy friends,dat do drugs,illegal stuffs and I just discovered one of them just impregnated another man's wife...yet,I'm not like them...keep dat ur 1680 adage to urself..ok,u "show me ur society and I will tell u who u are".

Charleys:
Your wife and her colleague want to go to a fetish priest, so your wife is calling her to tell her she shouldn't forget to buy the chicken for the sacrifice.

This sacrifice is going to help your wife's friend get a man.

Your wife knows the location of the juju priest that's why she's the one reminding the Obessed lady.

Lastly it seems if you create a new monicker these days you're going to hit front page.

I salute your premium imagination in solving this mystery. I also think the wife's ability to place unflinching loyalty to a friend against her core belief system deserves an inquest.

donbachi:
I have a lot of crazy friends,dat do drugs,illegal stuffs and I just discovered one of them just impregnated another man's wife...yet,I'm not like them...keep dat ur 1680 adage to urself..ok,u "show me ur society and I will tell u who u are".

inasmuch as you may be sounding right to yourself you are also very very wrong, just listen to yourself talk, if you are arrested in the company of your friends who do drugs Wetin you wan tell police?

mysticwarrior:
inasmuch as you may be sounding right to yourself you are also very very wrong, just listen to yourself talk, if you are arrested in the company of your friends who do drugs Wetin you wan tell police?

I was once with two of them when they got arrested and they confessed to it and also told the drug law agents dat I don't do such.and I was never taken to their office with them...any other thing again?

donbachi:
I was once with two of them when they got arrested and they confessed to it and also told the drug law agents dat I don't do such.and I was never taken to their office with them...any other thing again?

Oga you no sabi lie, go meet lai Muhammed make him teach you how to lie.

mysticwarrior:
Oga you no sabi lie, go meet lai Muhammed make him teach you how to lie.

just see ur life...all because I no talk say dem beat me,kick me and drag me everywhere for the whole to see and put pics of me on social media platforms....shame on u.

HRHQueenPhil:
it's the Holy Spirit that could have given u such wisdom.. Splendid reply.. Happy new year.. U av earned my respect for life

Is this a joke or what?
When did the Holy Spirit start supporting marital infidelity? That's blasphemy, if you don't know.

Daviddson:
Is this a joke or what?
When did the Holy Spirit start supporting marital infidelity? That's blasphemy, if you don't know.