I’ve heard several young people say “I don’t regret anything” or ” I have no regrets ” or “Life is too short to be sad, always be happy”. It certainly shows a lot of strength, but as admirable as it is, a lack of regret can set you up on a very sloppy path.

Merriam Webster dictionary defines regret as to be very sorry for ones mistakes. Trying to save yourself from the pain of regret goes beyond not admitting your faults, it also points a beam on why you made such mistakes in the first place. We live in a time where we always want to have that positive vibe as often as possible, so it’s easier to dismiss the pain of regret and move on with life.

"When we force ourselves to stay positive all the time, we deny the existence of our life’s problems. And when we deny our problems, we rob ourselves of the chance to solve them and generate happiness. Problems add a sense of meaning and importance to our life." -MarkManson

As humans, we tend to learn more under pain, and pain born from mistakes (regret) can be a very handy tool in learning.

Danger of not admitting mistakes
Not admitting mistakes spares you from the pain of regret but its obvious downside is the failure to learn from those mistakes and else making same mistakes subsequently.

I had a friend back in the day and we had an amazing bond. I soon realised she would do anything to avoid feeling bad, even if it was a result of her actions or somebody else’s’. When she was at fault about something, there was always an excuse to blame me, no matter how absurd it seemed. She never took the time and pain to examine her mistakes, and as a result they kept reoccurring, though in different forms. I didn’t have much say in the matter, but looking back now, I wish I did. I had a friend who was fun to be with and I wasn’t going to let a few misunderstandings get in the way.
Soon enough she started dating the older guys. Mistakes she failed to acknowledge and correct started occurring in the relationships and some got out of hand. I remember there was a situation she cheated on a guy and accused the guy of being the cause.

Learning from mistakes will lead to no regrets in the future.
We are familiar with the idiomatic expression “a stitch in time saves nine”. Regret could just be that stitch that saves you from a million other mistakes.

Why we make mistakes in the first place?
What if told you it was possible to have Zero to marginal regrets without the need to shy away from the pain? Less mistakes results in fewer regrets. Mistakes are a result of ignorance and lack of planning. As teenagers, it’s alarming the amount of decisions we take without thinking.

Consider the true story of a sharp
seventeen-year-old medical student with fine football attributes. One night he
was riding in a car with his cousin, who had picked up a couple of cult
friends. They decide to go scare some rival gang members. To announce their
presence, they hand this kid a shotgun and order him to fire out the window as
they drive through the heart of their rivals’ neighbourhood. An innocent
bystander, whom that boy claimed he never saw, was killed.
If that bloke had for one moment thought about what he was about doing, I’m certain I wouldn’t be referencing this story.

Minimize mistakes
Mistakes are an important aspect of living, so avoiding it totally is almost impossible. However, we can learn from the mistakes of others to avoid repetition or we can develop a thinking pattern to help reduce mistakes and make regrets less painful. Dr Ben Carson in his book ‘Take the Risk’ revealed a thought pattern that I find insightful. He called it the Best/Worst Analysis (B/WAs)

Mistakes will lead to regrets, hence to have no regrets, avoid mistakes
What is the best thing that could happen if I take this decision?
What is the worst thing that could happen if I take this decision?
What is the best thing that could happen if I don’t take this decision?
What is the worst thing that could happen if I don’t take this decision?
Analysing any decision we are about to make by answering these questions gives us a clearer view of the outcome. A positive outcome means a very slim chance for regret while a negative outcome means the decision is better abandoned

Analyzing your decision can lead to no regret
Mistakes = Regrets
Avoiding regrets = Repetitive mistakes
Planning = less mistakes = fewer regrets

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