Help me!

Hello nairalanders,call me rizzla for privacy's sake. I am a Nigerian male,20 years of age, intelligent, beautiful-minded and I'm dying! I've always been the weird kid,the black sheep,the different one,I've always not know how to talk to people,how to socialize,how to make friends ever since I was younger I have always unconsciously isolated myself I don't know why but I always did.

When I got quite older I started cutting people off my life, people I love, people that loved me... everyone,with every passing day I was more alone than the last day. The final straw that broke the camel's back was the time I was given admission to study Mechanical engineering in a Nigerian University. I finished my clearance and school resumed,only that I didn't resume with it,I had no friends,and no way to make one,I always felt awkward...weird!

On my first day attending lectures,I got to the hall and the number of people who I saw left me stunned,it was as if every single person in the hall was connected to my energy and kept sapping it away,with every passing moment I felt weak. WEAK!!! I convinced myself it was stress and all that stuffs but with every visit to the halls,every visit to my course advisers office,every visit outside of my lodge I felt my energy level drop,I felt weak,useless,worse than dead! Sometimes I wouldn't step outside my lodge for weeks upon weeks because I was afraid,ashamed, humiliated, embarrassed by what I don't know!!! It was so bad that even merely thinking of "people" would trigger my panic attacks.

This kept happening until after the first semester exams which I did very very badly! Second semester came and I couldn't even register a single course,every single day,I would curl up in my bed and feel the life force get drawn out of me,every single day I would curl up in pains wondering why God that so much loves the world would see it befitting to create one of his precious humans like this...to be so afraid of commitment,so afraid of other humans! And the funny part was that nobody knew what I really felt,I always plastered a smile across my face every single time I was around someone (mostly because I hate sharing my problems and because I really value company)
Without necessarily saying, y'all should know second semester bleeped me up!!
I started this year with a resolution,that I would put an end to the Bleep ups of last year. But the moment I got back to school,the depression resumed!! Pains,anger, sadness,more pains, anxiety,more anxiety,pains,more sadness... Yesterday,I tried going to a class,I got outside the class and the bare noise I observed from where I was stunned me,I couldn't go on,so I sat under a tree and blasted some music,I just couldn't literally move!!!!
My family put a lot of hope and trust in me,but then they do not see their son for the broken young man that he is,they do not see the tears behind the smile,they do not see the pains in every word... I'm dying!! I need help!! This is a distress call!!!!!!!!!!


SOCIAL ANXIETY!!!
DEPRESSION!!!
PANIC DISORDER!!!

go talk to a specialist OR see your nearest drug dealers for some strong weed... in no time, you wont give a fukc about what others think.

MrBrownJay1:
go talk to a specialist OR see your nearest drug dealers for some strong weed... in no time, you wont give a fukc about what others think.

Weed doesn't help,yes it does take away the pain, embarrassment and all that but it still doesn't let me go to places without feeling bad.

You are a strong introvert plus you have social anxiety. You need to find a very extroverted friend. He will always do the talking while you can do the listening. You need to follow him around and get comfortable with people. Extroverts love talking so you won't need to add much. Do this till you understand social dynamics.
We all need other people to survive

psyrizzla:
Weed doesn't help,yes it does take away the pain, embarrassment and all that but it still doesn't let me go to places without feeling bad.

make friends FIRST, everything will fall in place afterwards....

tidalstorm:
You are a strong introvert plus you have social anxiety. You need to find a very extroverted friend. He will always do the talking while you can do the listening. You need to follow him around and get comfortable with people. Extroverts love talking so you won't need to add much. Do this till you understand social dynamics.
We all need other people to survive

This is a good advice but sir,the major issue is that I am afraid,like literally in terror of other humans. Walking up to someone for a friendship is way beyond my physical ability,far far beyond what I can do.

MrBrownJay1:

make friends FIRST, everything will fall in place afterwards....

Person wey dey fear human beings,how he wan make friends??

psyrizzla:
Person wey dey fear human beings,how he wan make friends??

you are creating problems in your life where there is none...AGAIN, go smoke weed, when the embarrassment/fear of people is gone, go MEET PEOPLE....

MrBrownJay1:


you are creating problems in your life where there is none...AGAIN, go smoke weed, when the embarrassment/fear of people is gone, go MEET PEOPLE....

Ok Sir,thanks for the advice.

psyrizzla:
Ok Sir,thanks for the advice.

seems you are seeking for online sympathy, rather than a solution to your issue.

Bro,
You Ain't Alone.
I Suffer From This Too.
The Only Difference Is That I Write Tests And Exams And Register Courses As At When Due.

Sometimes I Dress Up And When I Think Of Myself Meeting And Interacting With People In School,
I Become Extra Scared.

Tried Everything Possible,
But Each Time,
I Relapse Into My Former State.



Anytime I Want To Go Out,
I Always Try To Convince Myself That I Am Mentally Prepared.
Going To The Nearby Grocery Shop Takes Hours Of Deliberation,
And Most Times,
I End Up Not Going.



My Colleagues Think I'm Unserious,
But No One Knows The Truth That Lies Underneath About Me.

It's Hard,
Trust Me.


I Need Help Also,
But When You Manage To Open Up To People,
They Laugh At You,
And You Feel Embarrassed.


Don't Give Up Tho!
There's Always Light At The End Of The Tunnel.


One Love Bro.
Cheers.

MrBrownJay1:


seems you are seeking for online sympathy, rather than a solution to your issue.

I Don't Think He's Seeking To Garner Online Sympathy.

Peeps We've Opened Up To Offline,
Instead Of Helping,
Mock Us.

Seeing This Thread And What The OP Is Going Through Makes Me Feel Not Alone,
Because I Actually Thought I Was Weird.

You'd Be Surprised As To How Many People Face This,
But Find It Difficult To Speak Up.


And Knowing That Nairaland Is A Faceless Forum,
We Can Lay Down Our Problems Without Fear Or Shame.

Have A Nice Day Sir!
Jah Bless!

psyrizzla:


This is a good advice but sir,the major issue is that I am afraid,like literally in terror of other humans. Walking up to someone for a friendship is way beyond my physical ability,far far beyond what I can do.

Guy just learn how to make small talk,
As long as you go out everyday, you meet people. In markets, school, church/mosque, football centres etc.
Watch a lot of lame comedies and read alot too.
Some friendships just happen.
As you no dey go class you suppose get paddy wey go dey copy lecture notes wey you fit snap or photocopy.

MrBrownJay1:


seems you are seeking for online sympathy, rather than a solution to your issue.

This was Soo not useful,but in the spirit of me chasing a peaceful life I'll ignore this...thanks alot

tidalstorm:


Guy just learn how to make small talk,
As long as you go out everyday, you meet people. In markets, school, church/mosque, football centres etc.
Watch a lot of lame comedies and read alot too.
Some friendships just happen.
As you no dey go class you suppose get paddy wey go dey copy lecture notes wey you fit snap or photocopy.

Thanks alot bro�

Israellionel:


I Don't Think He's Seeking To Garner Online Sympathy.

Peeps We've Opened Up To Offline,
Instead Of Helping,
Mock Us.

Seeing This Thread And What The OP Is Going Through Makes Me Feel Not Alone,
Because I Actually Thought I Was Weird.

You'd Be Surprised As To How Many People Face This,
But Find It Difficult To Speak Up.


And Knowing That Nairaland Is A Faceless Forum,
We Can Lay Down Our Problems Without Fear Or Shame.

Have A Nice Day Sir!
Jah Bless!

God bless you for this,I was wondering why I would share my whole life online and someone would say it's for sympathy... online sympathy...who sympathy help I need healing

Israellionel:
Bro,
You Ain't Alone.
I Suffer From This Too.
The Only Difference Is That I Write Tests And Exams And Register Courses As At When Due.

Sometimes I Dress Up And When I Think Of Myself Meeting And Interacting With People In School,
I Become Extra Scared.

Tried Everything Possible,
But Each Time,
I Relapse Into My Former State.



Anytime I Want To Go Out,
I Always Try To Convince Myself That I Am Mentally Prepared.
Going To The Nearby Grocery Shop Takes Hours Of Deliberation,
And Most Times,
I End Up Not Going.



My Colleagues Think I'm Unserious,
But No One Knows The Truth That Lies Underneath About Me.

It's Hard,
Trust Me.


I Need Help Also,
But When You Manage To Open Up To People,
They Laugh At You,
And You Feel Embarrassed.


Don't Give Up Tho!
There's Always Light At The End Of The Tunnel.


One Love Bro.
Cheers.

Israellionel:
Bro,
You Ain't Alone.
I Suffer From This Too.
The Only Difference Is That I Write Tests And Exams And Register Courses As At When Due.

Sometimes I Dress Up And When I Think Of Myself Meeting And Interacting With People In School,
I Become Extra Scared.

Tried Everything Possible,
But Each Time,
I Relapse Into My Former State.



Anytime I Want To Go Out,
I Always Try To Convince Myself That I Am Mentally Prepared.
Going To The Nearby Grocery Shop Takes Hours Of Deliberation,
And Most Times,
I End Up Not Going.



My Colleagues Think I'm Unserious,
But No One Knows The Truth That Lies Underneath About Me.

It's Hard,
Trust Me.


I Need Help Also,
But When You Manage To Open Up To People,
They Laugh At You,
And You Feel Embarrassed.


Don't Give Up Tho!
There's Always Light At The End Of The Tunnel.


One Love Bro.
Cheers.

this is too much,thanks alot for sharing at least I'll keep in mind that we plenty for this table,thanks alot bro

psyrizzla:


God bless you for this,I was wondering why I would share my whole life online and someone would say it's for sympathy... online sympathy...who sympathy help I need healing

Can We Talk On WhatsApp?
If Yes,
DM Me Your Number Bro.

Israellionel:
I Don't Think He's Seeking To Garner Online Sympathy.

Peeps We've Opened Up To Offline,
Instead Of Helping,
Mock Us.

Seeing This Thread And What The OP Is Going Through Makes Me Feel Not Alone,
Because I Actually Thought I Was Weird.

You'd Be Surprised As To How Many People Face This,
But Find It Difficult To Speak Up.


And Knowing That Nairaland Is A Faceless Forum,
We Can Lay Down Our Problems Without Fear Or Shame.

Have A Nice Day Sir!
Jah Bless!

now 1st and foremost, lets make something very clear.... there IS something wrong with you, and just because others are doing the same, does NOT make it RIGHT

sadly, the "fear" and "shame" is the whole problem here and unless you look for sound ways to solve the problem, ONLINE SYMPATHY is the only thing you will get, and certainly not a way out (in the real world). now yes, online sympathy feels nice for a moment, but the minute that person wakes up, then they are right back to where they were (in real life). IMHO, i believe that online sympathy is VERY DANGEROUS because it puts you in a false sense of righteousness or that everything is "okay" when it aint.... and in the contrary will make it more difficult for such person to get a solution to get out of such negative mindset.

Israellionel:


Can We Talk On WhatsApp?
If Yes,
DM Me Your Number Bro.

check your email

psyrizzla:
Help me!

Hello nairalanders,call me rizzla for privacy's sake. I am a Nigerian male,20 years of age, intelligent, beautiful-minded and I'm dying! I've always been the weird kid,the black sheep,the different one,I've always not know how to talk to people,how to socialize,how to make friends ever since I was younger I have always unconsciously isolated myself I don't know why but I always did.

When I got quite older I started cutting people off my life, people I love, people that loved me... everyone,with every passing day I was more alone than the last day. The final straw that broke the camel's back was the time I was given admission to study Mechanical engineering in a Nigerian University. I finished my clearance and school resumed,only that I didn't resume with it,I had no friends,and no way to make one,I always felt awkward...weird!

On my first day attending lectures,I got to the hall and the number of people who I saw left me stunned,it was as if every single person in the hall was connected to my energy and kept sapping it away,with every passing moment I felt weak. WEAK!!! I convinced myself it was stress and all that stuffs but with every visit to the halls,every visit to my course advisers office,every visit outside of my lodge I felt my energy level drop,I felt weak,useless,worse than dead! Sometimes I wouldn't step outside my lodge for weeks upon weeks because I was afraid,ashamed, humiliated, embarrassed by what I don't know!!! It was so bad that even merely thinking of "people" would trigger my panic attacks.

This kept happening until after the first semester exams which I did very very badly! Second semester came and I couldn't even register a single course,every single day,I would curl up in my bed and feel the life force get drawn out of me,every single day I would curl up in pains wondering why God that so much loves the world would see it befitting to create one of his precious humans like this...to be so afraid of commitment,so afraid of other humans! And the funny part was that nobody knew what I really felt,I always plastered a smile across my face every single time I was around someone (mostly because I hate sharing my problems and because I really value company)
Without necessarily saying, y'all should know second semester bleeped me up!!
I started this year with a resolution,that I would put an end to the Bleep ups of last year. But the moment I got back to school,the depression resumed!! Pains,anger, sadness,more pains, anxiety,more anxiety,pains,more sadness... Yesterday,I tried going to a class,I got outside the class and the bare noise I observed from where I was stunned me,I couldn't go on,so I sat under a tree and blasted some music,I just couldn't literally move!!!!
My family put a lot of hope and trust in me,but then they do not see their son for the broken young man that he is,they do not see the tears behind the smile,they do not see the pains in every word... I'm dying!! I need help!! This is a distress call!!!!!!!!!!


SOCIAL ANXIETY!!!
DEPRESSION!!!
PANIC DISORDER!!!

Hey bro. You can beat this. WhatsApp me. My number is on my profile

My candid advice aburo

Have ever been molested/abused while growing up?
Did you go through any trauma that might affect your relationship with humans?
Have you had bad memories about events caused by crowd ?
Have you ever been embarrassed in front of a crowd before and the memories still linger?

Might I suggest (from your write up) that you have dissociative identity disorder.

The cure? You need to be more social...

Join a church (if you are a xtian) and be a worker.
Or join school group.
And try to get a girl you would fall in love with.

Cheers

Oblongata:
My candid advice aburo

Have ever been molested/abused while growing up?
Did you go through any trauma that might affect your relationship with humans?
Have you had bad memories about events caused by crowd ?
Have you ever been embarrassed in front of a crowd before and the memories still linger?

Might I suggest (from your write up) that you have dissociative identity disorder.

The cure? You need to be more social...

Join a church (if you are a xtian) and be a worker.
Or join school group.
And try to get a girl you would fall in love with.

Cheers

The bulk of my childhood memories are vague like my mind purposely cached them. Yes you may suggest DID, I'm open to any suggestions. And about the social stuffs,I've been trying Sha but I've relapsed most of the times...and about the girl stuffs (this one made me laugh) I actually want to work on myself through and through before giving love a chance,I don't want to go into a relationship as a bleeped up person.

Thanks for the advice tho

MrBrownJay1:


now 1st and foremost, lets make something very clear.... there IS something wrong with you, and just because others are doing the same, does NOT make it RIGHT

sadly, the "fear" and "shame" is the whole problem here and unless you look for sound ways to solve the problem, ONLINE SYMPATHY is the only thing you will get, and certainly not a way out (in the real world). now yes, online sympathy feels nice for a moment, but the minute that person wakes up, then they are right back to where they were (in real life). IMHO, i believe that online sympathy is VERY DANGEROUS because it puts you in a false sense of righteousness or that everything is "okay" when it aint.... and in the contrary will make it more difficult for such person to get a solution to get out of such negative mindset.

thank you for your candid opinion, remain blessed and save your sympathy for when it's actually required Sir. I seek help,I seek healing,I seek something far away from sympathy. stay blessed

psyrizzla:
thank you for your candid opinion, remain blessed and save your sympathy for when it's actually required Sir. I seek help,I seek healing,I seek something far away from sympathy. stay blessed

for anybody who actually still believe the NONSENSE post of the OP, as anything other than seeking for online attention/sympathy....i suggest you read the below he posted a few weeks ago (he forgot about all the rubbish he posted i guess):

psyrizzla:
I traveled from the north to the east just so that I could write post utme there was this babe that me and her had already arranged that I'll be staying at her place for the one week period I'll be in school,turns out she had a minor accident and had to delay for two days so I spent the first day in the general hostel. That same day,an acquaintance of mine told me about his brother's friend who was still in school,so I weighted the odds and felt a room with just one extra person would be better than sleeping in a hostel of about 8-10 people, meanwhile this my friend had already gone back to his brother. In the evening he came and took me to the friends lodge,it's was a fine place and the guy was even nicer, probably more than he should be...my subconscious picked up a red flag...we went in and this nigga kept springing up topics for discussion,we talked and talked and even when I was tired I kept on saying "eh,eh" so that I wouldn't seem rude to my host. Later that night,after we had eaten,nigga asked if I smoked and as a Sabi boy wey I be I said yes,he went and bought one packet oh Bohem cigarettes I couldn't shout how much I hated cigarettes,so I told local man that I don't smoke cigarettes cuz I only do the GREEN guy was suprised, still he went out and bought one pack of AZ,mehhnn we wrapped up and smoked like hell.

>>>fast forward to later that night<<<

So nigga probably thought I was too stoned to ever wake up, firstly I felt a hand on my thigh...I froze...( personally I hate body contact,even my babe knows that so she sleeps on her side of the bed and doesn't touch unless the need be ) so I was surprised as to why I was getting touched,I moved his hand away in the hope that it was all a "sleep inspired" something,not less that two minutes later local man crept his hand on my ass...my freaking bombom!!! That was the straw the broke the camel's back,I turned around and slapped him,nigga woke up feeling macho threatening to deal with me and that totally confirmed everything. I just started shouting, "Oluwatobi is gayyy" , "Nigga,you see all the pussy and nyash and bress wey dey this world and decide say na man nyash you wan kpansh!?!!!!" Local man stopped threatening and started begging me to quieten myself i couldn't sleep again so I just stayed up all night pressing phone,of course we can't fight nature,sleep came and when it did I had to relocate to the floor. Immediately,my alarm rang for 4am I packed up my bags and left the niggas place and ran back to the hostel. Around 2pm later that day,my babe called me that she was back.

or better yet

psyrizzla:
Ladies that don't want to be touched don't want to cum,or do they expect us to invite the holy ghost in prayers so that they cum??

or worse, when he tells people about...

psyrizzla:
YOU NEED SOME RED PILLS

psyrizzla:
You need some red pills.

psyrizzla:
at least I find my happiness within that 40 secs instead of waiting for another human being to find it for me.
#hustle_for_yourself

[img]https://media./images/a92b06ba809f11bfc51a9fa8f94e98c1/tenor.gif[/img]

MrBrownJay1:


for anybody who actually still believe the NONSENSE post of the OP, as anything other than seeking for online attention/sympathy....i suggest you read the below he posted a few weeks ago (he forgot about all the rubbish he posted i guess):



or better yet



or worse, when he tells people about...




[img]https://media./images/a92b06ba809f11bfc51a9fa8f94e98c1/tenor.gif[/img]

forget keh!!

MrBrownJay1:


for anybody who actually still believe the NONSENSE post of the OP, as anything other than seeking for online attention/sympathy....i suggest you read the below he posted a few weeks ago (he forgot about all the rubbish he posted i guess):



or better yet



or worse, when he tells people about...




[img]https://media./images/a92b06ba809f11bfc51a9fa8f94e98c1/tenor.gif[/img]

forget keh!!
it's actually beautiful how far you went to make a point that I don't need help, anyways,it's your keyboard right in front of you sir... people believe, people are helping and one day I'll come back to this thread to testify. Have a lovely evening

psyrizzla:

forget keh!!
forget keh!!
it's actually beautiful how far you went to make a point that I don't need help, anyways,it's your keyboard right in front of you sir... people believe, people are helping and one day I'll come back to this thread to testify. Have a lovely evening

come and testify NOW, you online fancy storyteller!!!

here you were telling ONE story after the next...here you were telling other people that they needed the "red pill"... here you were insulting women about sexual acts... and now you came opening this deluded thread claiming to be some dude suffering from anxiety, depression and panic disorder... all for BS ONLINE SYMPATHY . i suggest you be quiet and accept that you have been busted for the ONLINE DELUDED TROLL that you are

MrBrownJay1:


come and testify NOW, you online fancy storyteller!!!

here you were telling ONE story after the next...here you were telling other people that they needed the "red pill"... here you were insulting women about sexual acts... and now you came opening this deluded thread claiming to be some dude suffering from anxiety, depression and panic disorder... all for BS ONLINE SYMPATHY . i suggest you be quiet and accept that you have been busted for the ONLINE DELUDED TROLL that you are

Ok sir, anything else??

psyrizzla:
Help me!

Hmm I was like that too, in my hundred level, the only people I could talk to were my mum and little bro. When I get to class I can't even look at people in the eye, I always sat at the back to avoid contact with other people. I hated people touching me even handshakes and I would get goosebumps I even started wearing hand gloves at some point. 2yrs after Am still like that now. It's not a disease it's a lifestyle. It would save you from the immoral practices in this world. Plus I found broken people amusing.

hashtagged:


Hmm I was like that too, in my hundred level, the only people I could talk to were my mum and little bro. When I get to class I can't even look at people in the eye, I always sat at the back to avoid contact with other people. I hated people touching me even handshakes and I would get goosebumps I even started wearing hand gloves at some point. 2yrs after Am still like that now. It's not a disease it's a lifestyle. It would save you from the immoral practices in this world. Plus I found broken people amusing.

Yes,our lifestyle has it's highs but personally... rationally there's nothing really great about it.

psyrizzla:


This is a good advice but sir,the major issue is that I am afraid,like literally in terror of other humans. Walking up to someone for a friendship is way beyond my physical ability,far far beyond what I can do.

The best way to stop this is to avoid triggers. If you feel you can't do certain things like meeting and making new friends, don't try to force it cos if you fail at it, you'll be more depressed and begin to judge yourself thinking something is wrong with you. Just see it as it not your thing and try to be at peace with yourself pending when you can naturally do these things without fear. There's time for everything. always tell yourself that.
Also if schooling tends to trigger that feeling, as silly as this may sound, ditch it for now! Yes. You heard me. Your sanity matters. There must be that' one thing you're very good at and do with ease and some peace that you can become successful in. Try and discover it. When you do, by the time you're done achieving it, youll feel a bit fulfilled and that sense of fulfillment is what will now drive you into wanting to try other things like now going back to school because by now youll feeing of an achiever which will give you the boldness you need to do other things.

Its all about discovering your real self and what you can do or really want to do. Start with those before venturing into what other people want you to do.

Above all, consult a psychiatrist.

Jewessgratitude:


The best way to stop this is to avoid triggers. If you feel you can't do certain things like meeting and making new friends, don't try to force it cos if you fail at it, you'll be more depressed and begin to judge yourself thinking something is wrong with you. Just see it as it not your thing and try to be at peace with yourself pending when you can naturally do these things without fear. There's time for everything. always tell yourself that.
Also if schooling tends to trigger that feeling, as silly as this may sound, ditch it for now! Yes. You heard me. Your sanity matters. There must be that' one thing you're very good at and do with ease and some peace that you can become successful in. Try and discover it. When you do, by the time you're done achieving it, youll feel a bit fulfilled and that sense of fulfillment is what will now drive you into wanting to try other things like now going back to school because by now youll feeing of an achiever which will give you the boldness you need to do other things.

Its all about discovering your real self and what you can do or really want to do. Start with those before venturing into what other people want you to do.

Above all, consult a psychiatrist.

thank you, thank you,thank you...alot,this is word!