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My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking - Family (5) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking (121559 Views)

15-Year-Old Boy Caught Trying To Lodge In A Hotel With 2 Girls (Video) / Man Convicted When His Daughter Was Tender Reunites With Her After Being Freed / Man Narrates How He Found Out Daughter Was Not His (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by OkikiOluwa1(m): 4:34pm On Jan 25, 2020
Queenellahrose:
I’m writing with so much pain in my heart because my only child is giving me lots of trouble. She is 14. Ever since I had her, I cannot conceive again. My husband and I went trough lots of tests we are all okay and perfect so we had to accept that God wanted us to have one daughter for now and we are still believing God for more children. Where do I start we are Nigerian leaving outside of Nigeria (African country) for the past 8 years we also took along my husband niece who is now 17.

My daughter was a very nice and obedient child working hard at school and has always been making us proud but everything changed when she turned 11 years. She started getting in trouble at school, my husband and I are always called for meeting about her not working well and fighting with her classmates and she gets punished almost everyday. We as parents had heart to heart talk. She had made clear that she doesn’t like school and want us to enrolled her at music and dance school. She was only 12. Me and her dad were against it. we had convinced how important education and all we want is the best for her to finish school to have a better job and she can do her music and dance too later.

She was okay and we kept encouraging her and praying for her, things started to get a little bit better even school complained become less. Three week ago I usually leave the house at 6am for work, hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school and around 11am I received a called from the police asking if I’m mrs o and chi mum I said yes I started panicking because I thought maybe she had an accident or something, the police officer asked me to come at the station.

I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces. He explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking, drinking and having sex. Actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which is an offence so when the police came, they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me .

I was ashamed and couldn’t controlled my tears. I wept bitterly because when I thought my two girls are angel in fact they were doing the unthinkable. I bailed both of them and I just hated them I didn’t even talked to them to avoid beating them badly, but later when hubby came I didn’t hide anything from him. He was so angry that he flogged them mercilessly, I felt bad for them but they both deserved it. We took their phones away, tablets and TV in their room and they are banned from going outside apart from school and when they both get back from school they will eat and go and spend the rest of their day in their bedroom until nighttime.

My husband blamed me for everything saying it’s all my fault those girls are becoming bad. The truth is he is the one that has been spoiling them with expensive phones , tablets and designer clothings and pocket money. I was against him pampering them so much because I knew it will come to this but he has always told me he works hard for his children to have better things and now they had become bad, he has put all the blames on me forgetting that it’s all his faults.

We are not in talking terms for three weeks and he is not eating my foods anymore. The whole things just gives me headaches and sleepless night, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep my head wants to explode with too much thinking.
this one tough o.
Didn't you search the seized phones to try see other bad acts she might v engaged in?
Did your daughter & that niece wiped their phones? You need to investigate her deeply & make her see nothing she's doing is hidden. Watch out if she's not into lesbianism too. Putting two girls that v exhibited waywardness together in the same room can lead to lesbianism.
Also, keep talking to her & give her more reasons why she must school.
Enrolling her in music academy now may lead her toore waywardness
Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by ajl: 4:35pm On Jan 25, 2020
Unrestricted access to tablet and TV in the rooms of teenagers is like handing your daughter and niece to the world. It's like my wife who handed mobile phone with internet access to her 13yr old niece who just arrived from Nigeria. I usually collect and go through the phones of all the kids in the house, and she was using the phone to visit porn/lesbian sites and social media where a chap was asking her to share her nude picture. I watch her like a hawk because of our own kids. Your husband messed up big time. He should be mad at himself, not you. It's typical Nija man shakara.

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Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Sammarshall(f): 4:35pm On Jan 25, 2020
Queenellahrose:
I’m writing with so much pain in my heart because my only child is giving me lots of trouble. She is 14. Ever since I had her, I cannot conceive again. My husband and I went trough lots of tests we are all okay and perfect so we had to accept that God wanted us to have one daughter for now and we are still believing God for more children. Where do I start we are Nigerian leaving outside of Nigeria (African country) for the past 8 years we also took along my husband niece who is now 17.

My daughter was a very nice and obedient child working hard at school and has always been making us proud but everything changed when she turned 11 years. She started getting in trouble at school, my husband and I are always called for meeting about her not working well and fighting with her classmates and she gets punished almost everyday. We as parents had heart to heart talk. She had made clear that she doesn’t like school and want us to enrolled her at music and dance school. She was only 12. Me and her dad were against it. we had convinced how important education and all we want is the best for her to finish school to have a better job and she can do her music and dance too later.

She was okay and we kept encouraging her and praying for her, things started to get a little bit better even school complained become less. Three week ago I usually leave the house at 6am for work, hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school and around 11am I received a called from the police asking if I’m mrs o and chi mum I said yes I started panicking because I thought maybe she had an accident or something, the police officer asked me to come at the station.

I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces. He explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking, drinking and having sex. Actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which is an offence so when the police came, they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me .

I was ashamed and couldn’t controlled my tears. I wept bitterly because when I thought my two girls are angel in fact they were doing the unthinkable. I bailed both of them and I just hated them I didn’t even talked to them to avoid beating them badly, but later when hubby came I didn’t hide anything from him. He was so angry that he flogged them mercilessly, I felt bad for them but they both deserved it. We took their phones away, tablets and TV in their room and they are banned from going outside apart from school and when they both get back from school they will eat and go and spend the rest of their day in their bedroom until nighttime.

My husband blamed me for everything saying it’s all my fault those girls are becoming bad. The truth is he is the one that has been spoiling them with expensive phones , tablets and designer clothings and pocket money. I was against him pampering them so much because I knew it will come to this but he has always told me he works hard for his children to have better things and now they had become bad, he has put all the blames on me forgetting that it’s all his faults.

We are not in talking terms for three weeks and he is not eating my foods anymore. The whole things just gives me headaches and sleepless night, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep my head wants to explode with too much thinking.

I’m very sorry ma, I know is not easy on you.

But if I want to be honest, maybe your husband has given up on your family.

Try to talk to him, also let your daughter know that she’s breaking your home.

Please for the sake of God, send that other girl away. The both can’t continue staying together.

Please, get your child closer to God. Attend bible fellowship, teach her about the love of God. Remind her that Jesus dead on the cross for our sins because he loves us so much and want the best for us.

Please teach her about repentance, let her know that God can forgive her and give her peace. If she’s willing to turn her life around.

Please if you can, take her with you to go and visit the less privileged even people in prison. Let her know that if she didn’t change her life now that is early, she can end up like that.

Most important, please teach her to understand the importance of having God in one’s life and the importance of reverence for the lord.

As for your husband, put him in your prayers.
Kneel down and beg him to forgive you and promise him of a new commitment towards you daughter.

When everything have settled, if you’re rich enough, please go for IVF. If not, please suggest adoption for you husband.

But honestly, in regards to your husband, please have an open mind because he may have a different plan.

I pray to God to help you.
Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Drakkernoir: 4:35pm On Jan 25, 2020
MartinCorridon:
angry

Your daughter is on her way to become an :

Do you people do this for attention,

I don't really get!!!

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by unbitchable(m): 4:37pm On Jan 25, 2020
Houseofglam7:
Absolutely not.
did you just say "Absolutely"?.. have you considered how strong a word?
Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by bighorlus(m): 4:39pm On Jan 25, 2020
The deed has been done. You have to let go of the pains, accusations etc.
Right now all you have to do is take charge.
Talk to your hubby, accept the blames he has, talk to him about why he has to reduce his excess spendings on her and both agree on the best way forward..
Sit your daughter down and listen to her and then make your decisions on how to help her going forward..
You also need to take care of yourself, these things have a way of affecting your overall well being.
Please take heart and take charge from now on.
Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Happyguy201: 4:39pm On Jan 25, 2020
Farki:

Haven't you heard we are in Internet age? grin
If you don't have phone it's as good as being blind.

for an adult YES but for a 14 year old girl come on atleast from 17 going not 14 what the hell is the world turning to even you self is supporting such rubbish
Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Niwdog(m): 4:40pm On Jan 25, 2020
budaatum:
Sounds like your 17 year old niece has led your daughter astray. If I were you, I'd send her back home to start with, then me and hubby have to sit down and be honest about how we both produced this or lie and rue the consequences of our errors.
Negodi
how old was the niece when they took her in.
They both(parents) failed awfully
Is nothing like the niece fault, assume they raised her uprightly definitely the result will also manifest in their daughter

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Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Fourwinds: 4:41pm On Jan 25, 2020
CSTR2:
..

Oturugbeke
Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by PlanBIncome(m): 4:41pm On Jan 25, 2020
Sorry about what you are going thru.
You will need to first send your niece back to her parent as she’s a bad influence on your daughter. It doesn’t mean your daughter will automatically turn good girl, that is where your work start as a parent.
There is nothing wrong in her passion for music, all you could have done was enrol her for after school music class. Then tell her that her education is tied with the music and dance she want, as long as she does well in school she can continue with her passion, else she can’t have her way.
As for having more children, go for IVF. My friend just did and they have twins, nothing is wrong with them medically, what is wrong with seeking such help instead of waiting years? By the way, I am 14 years older than my immediate younger brother. If they access you and you are fit enough to carry pregnancy, please sort for IVF.

1 Like

Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by budaatum: 4:42pm On Jan 25, 2020
Niwdog:
Negodi
how old was the niece when they took her in.
They both(parents) failed awfully
Is nothing like the niece fault, assume they raised her uprightly definitely the result will also manifest in their daughter
I agree.
Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by IMASTEX: 4:43pm On Jan 25, 2020
budaatum:
Sounds like your 17 year old niece has led your daughter astray. If I were you, I'd send her back home to start with, then me and hubby have to sit down and be honest about how we both produced this or lie and rue the consequences of our errors.
Attacking the little niece over poor parenting is bad. It is obvious you ignored where she mentioned leaving the country 8 years ago. Meaning the girl was 9 years old then and who knows how old she was living with them in Nigeria before they even traveled. Therefore, most of her life was under their control. You could have suggested them talking & working more on her been the older one 17 years, so she can help police their daughter.

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Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Odunolumide(m): 4:44pm On Jan 25, 2020
budaatum:
Sounds like your 17 year old niece has led your daughter astray. If I were you, I'd send her back home to start with, then me and hubby have to sit down and be honest about how we both produced this or lie and rue the consequences of our errors.

The niece didn't lead her astray. You read the part where she already indicated the daughter showed signs of rebelliousness. The parents need to stay home more.
The girl lacks love (forget material stuffs they claim to buy for her).
She needs someone who understands her and since her parents aren't home ,the niece had to fill in the spit of the parents. So tell me ,does a 17 yr old girl even knows the same . The two girls probably suffered from the same thing. Lack of attention and physical.
They feel nobody cares about them thus the sign of rebellion.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by ZooOga: 4:45pm On Jan 25, 2020
Long essay.
I didn't read anything about asking for divine help and guidance.
Two ppl working mad hours for material gain doesn't seem to be working.
How do children spell Love? TIME
Prayer and/or repetitive positive thoughts and words really do work.

Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by SUFFERInSMILIIN(m): 4:46pm On Jan 25, 2020
Queenellahrose:
I’m writing with so much pain in my heart because my only child is giving me lots of trouble. She is 14. Ever since I had her, I cannot conceive again. My husband and I went trough lots of tests we are all okay and perfect so we had to accept that God wanted us to have one daughter for now and we are still believing God for more children. Where do I start we are Nigerian leaving outside of Nigeria (African country) for the past 8 years we also took along my husband niece who is now 17.

My daughter was a very nice and obedient child working hard at school and has always been making us proud but everything changed when she turned 11 years. She started getting in trouble at school, my husband and I are always called for meeting about her not working well and fighting with her classmates and she gets punished almost everyday. We as parents had heart to heart talk. She had made clear that she doesn’t like school and want us to enrolled her at music and dance school. She was only 12. Me and her dad were against it. we had convinced how important education and all we want is the best for her to finish school to have a better job and she can do her music and dance too later.

She was okay and we kept encouraging her and praying for her, things started to get a little bit better even school complained become less. Three week ago I usually leave the house at 6am for work, hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school and around 11am I received a called from the police asking if I’m mrs o and chi mum I said yes I started panicking because I thought maybe she had an accident or something, the police officer asked me to come at the station.

I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces. He explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking, drinking and having sex. Actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which is an offence so when the police came, they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me .

I was ashamed and couldn’t controlled my tears. I wept bitterly because when I thought my two girls are angel in fact they were doing the unthinkable. I bailed both of them and I just hated them I didn’t even talked to them to avoid beating them badly, but later when hubby came I didn’t hide anything from him. He was so angry that he flogged them mercilessly, I felt bad for them but they both deserved it. We took their phones away, tablets and TV in their room and they are banned from going outside apart from school and when they both get back from school they will eat and go and spend the rest of their day in their bedroom until nighttime.

My husband blamed me for everything saying it’s all my fault those girls are becoming bad. The truth is he is the one that has been spoiling them with expensive phones , tablets and designer clothings and pocket money. I was against him pampering them so much because I knew it will come to this but he has always told me he works hard for his children to have better things and now they had become bad, he has put all the blames on me forgetting that it’s all his faults.

We are not in talking terms for three weeks and he is not eating my foods anymore. The whole things just gives me headaches and sleepless night, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep my head wants to explode with too much thinking.

Your Case Is Not Unusual at all. When I came 4 holiday to back to Nigeria I was totally shocked the amount of underage Nigerian girls in cities selling their body for money. I end up discussing this with my neighbours in Lagos and ibadan they said that there is nothing unusual with it even some girls from the age of 9 years to 10 years old in Nigeria are beginning to acting sex film. A Nigerian neighbours which travels all over West Africa said if u go to Ghana and Cote d'Ivoire it is worse you can find tens of thousands of Nigerian girls which are child prostitutes. My advice to you and your husband it is not both of yous fault .somebody must have introduce your girls to that type of lifestyle mostly it is Nigerian boys or Nigerian girls if you have neighbours which are Nigerians distance yourself from them and your children some women we just use other children as sex tools and sex slaves. I have a strong feeling your daughters are being used buy some Nigerians. I can give you an example. When I was in Botswana there was a Nigerian close friend of mind he was a Cornell acting as a defence advisor for Nigerian High Commission in Botswana, this man did not allow his children daughters and sons to mix with any Nigerians he knew to complain that Nigerian people will corrupt his children and he was in Nigerian military colonel. This is not an isolated incident in South Africa it was also the same with a Nigerian Brigadier General his children was schooling in South Africa and he told the children from day one not to mix with any Nigerians there.. I took a trip to Ghana and Cote d'Ivoire and what I saw was shocking. You will find a Nigerian madam with above 15 underage girls under her just sleeping with different men for money. I have learnt this from the one once I travel to another country I do not mix with Nigeria's at all and I do not introduce my children are told to any Nigerians. Whenever you travel to another country distance yourself and your children as far from Nigerians as possible

1 Like

Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Nobody: 4:46pm On Jan 25, 2020
Queenellahrose:
I’m writing with so much pain in my heart because my only child is giving me lots of trouble. She is 14. Ever since I had her, I cannot conceive again. My husband and I went trough lots of tests we are all okay and perfect so we had to accept that God wanted us to have one daughter for now and we are still believing God for more children. Where do I start we are Nigerian leaving outside of Nigeria (African country) for the past 8 years we also took along my husband niece who is now 17.

My daughter was a very nice and obedient child working hard at school and has always been making us proud but everything changed when she turned 11 years. She started getting in trouble at school, my husband and I are always called for meeting about her not working well and fighting with her classmates and she gets punished almost everyday. We as parents had heart to heart talk. She had made clear that she doesn’t like school and want us to enrolled her at music and dance school. She was only 12. Me and her dad were against it. we had convinced how important education and all we want is the best for her to finish school to have a better job and she can do her music and dance too later.

She was okay and we kept encouraging her and praying for her, things started to get a little bit better even school complained become less. Three week ago I usually leave the house at 6am for work, hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school and around 11am I received a called from the police asking if I’m mrs o and chi mum I said yes I started panicking because I thought maybe she had an accident or something, the police officer asked me to come at the station.

I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces. He explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking, drinking and having sex. Actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which is an offence so when the police came, they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me .

I was ashamed and couldn’t controlled my tears. I wept bitterly because when I thought my two girls are angel in fact they were doing the unthinkable. I bailed both of them and I just hated them I didn’t even talked to them to avoid beating them badly, but later when hubby came I didn’t hide anything from him. He was so angry that he flogged them mercilessly, I felt bad for them but they both deserved it. We took their phones away, tablets and TV in their room and they are banned from going outside apart from school and when they both get back from school they will eat and go and spend the rest of their day in their bedroom until nighttime.

My husband blamed me for everything saying it’s all my fault those girls are becoming bad. The truth is he is the one that has been spoiling them with expensive phones , tablets and designer clothings and pocket money. I was against him pampering them so much because I knew it will come to this but he has always told me he works hard for his children to have better things and now they had become bad, he has put all the blames on me forgetting that it’s all his faults.

We are not in talking terms for three weeks and he is not eating my foods anymore. The whole things just gives me headaches and sleepless night, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep my head wants to explode with too much thinking.
Sorry Madam...
It is very difficult to raise children in this internet age!!!
God will see you through!!

Please never pamper those kids again ... Be firm with them henceforth....

They have joined bad gang!!!

It is time to enforce your own discipline on them!! Trust me, they will change with time!!!

Try to talk things over with your husband using TLC...

I believe both of you should correct these kids together!!!

They are way too young to be having sex!!! They will not take their Education seriously in doing so!!!

But with right training, they will come good...
Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by shege45: 4:46pm On Jan 25, 2020
budaatum:

Like you, right. Senior who has not learnt not to be rude?
ok

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Nobody: 4:47pm On Jan 25, 2020
Gaggi:
Every parents greatest nightmare. I still find it difficult blaming parents for the behaviour of their wayward kids. We have seen kids from very good home become bad and kids from very dysfunctional homes become good.

Giving them gadgets doesn't translate to spoiling them per say. Sometimes you also want your kids exposed and to have access to stuff.

I advise you keep talking and praying. Also lead by example. Always counsel, be a listening ear and be a friend.

However, pikin wey wan spoil go still spoil, hopefully all you taught them will likely be at the back of their mind and lead them back to the right path. Some kids can resist peer pressure and some cannot. We have seen cultists become pastors and pastors kids become cultists.

Be hopeful.
Your last paragraph has said it all. And that's why parents need to harp on prayers. Many parents nowadays hardly remember to pray before they leave for work , talkless of praying for their children. I've even heard some people here on NL say foolishly that, there's no God and that's the kind of situation we've found ourselves in. Things of the world have taken away our morals.

They're just busy chasing money here and there at the expense of their children. I'm not In support of the gadget thing you mentioned because for me, it's not a means of getting them exposed to good stuffs rather, It enables them learn stuffs you least expect of them when they're alone. If you want them to gain exposure,take your time to save and take them abroad to see things. You could arrange a Dubai visa and ticket for them. You do not need to queue at the embassy to get a Dubai visa. Even those affected by village people cant be refused a Dubai visa. But if you can't afford overseas trip, you can always visit Abuja, obudu cattle ranch, etc and make them have fun.
Take them to airports to see how plane takes off and lands. Buy them educational gadgets that can't accept internet access, etc.

Unfortunately, we didn't have access to all these during our time and most of us are successful in our various careers today. The only continent I've never been is the one located outside earth yet, I was born into a family of a peasant farmer, whose highest level of education was standard six. I must get to the farm before I had my lunch and must bring yam tuber home in the evening otherwise, no breakfast for me the following morning. I'd wake up 5am to prepare for school and pound yam I'd eat as breakfast. My dad sold yam to train me in school.
I'd put on lantern in the middle of the night to do my assignment and in case I got home late from the farm and tired, I'd leave for school early to do my assignment before the arrival of my mates. I was senior prefect boy of my set in a pub school in Ekiti. I've dined and wined with world leaders including the USA president . But one thing was a norm. We never joked with prayers. If you're a member of CAC, you'd understand what I meant by this. They'd wake me up in the middle of the night for prayers and vigil and I'd be like...oooh, but why all these , when all my mates were sleeping in their various homes naw?

I remember a day my mum caught me with a girlfriend by the fence. She was just a friend with no strings attached. She was in a junior class whilst i was in SS2 then. My mum said haaaaa, so this is how you want to spend your life...I'd tell your dad and brothers that you're becoming wayward. I felt so ashamed. She chased the girl away in anger. I never knew she was doing me a favour. The moment I gained admission, the pressure was reduced and at that point, I could live independently still imbibing the values taught from home. I had a sister whom guys nicknamed an insulting girl. I remember a day we were going to fetch water and a guy touched her buttocks. She picked a big stone and thew it on his head...see blood. The boy ended up stitching the portion. She was in 400 level before I began to spot a guy around her whom she eventually married. Our ways of life nowadays as parents, which have prevented us from playing our roles, are the causes of all manners of decadence amongst the children of nowadays. The earlier we adjust, the better

3 Likes

Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by budaatum: 4:47pm On Jan 25, 2020
IMASTEX:

Attacking the little niece over poor parenting is bad.
Did you miss the bit where I said "me and hubby have to sit down and be honest about how we both produced this or lie and rue the consequences of our errors"?

It essentially implies me and hubby fuqed up, though I'm obviously not completely blaming me and hubby. You'd note those who know us better even blame 14 year old daughter for misleading 17 year old niece.
Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Nobody: 4:48pm On Jan 25, 2020
Your daughter has tasted the forbidden fruit and her fate is pretty much sealed; you need to go into crisis control mode, help her learn a trade while she goes to school because sooner or later she will act on that itchy feeling between her legs.
Soon she will be 18 and legit to enjoy please send me ya address, I want to cum and celebrate ya daughters life tongue
Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by rahztafari(m): 4:48pm On Jan 25, 2020
Pains indeed.

These days, parenting requires a lot of patience. We are living in a fast-paced society. Parents must learn how to help their children and not try to control or condemn them. This mindset would make the difference.

Dont imagine that your innocent child will turn out to be good or bad. Just accept that, at every stage, your child needs help at all times. Help!! The society is upside down. You cant hide your child from the dangers.
Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Originalsly: 4:50pm On Jan 25, 2020
Bend the tree when it is young..... so it will grow in the direction you want it to go when matured.

Chew with me...... your niece is 17... your daughter 14.... living away for 8 years.... niece was 9... daughter 6 years old. How was the behaviour of your niece at age 9? Did you as parents had full control over them? I would guess yes.
The breakdown. You left home at 6 a.m....... your husband earlier.... what time did you guys return? Do you know what your kids were doing during this time? Neither of you was there to monitor them.... to give them guidance.... they were left to do whatever they pleased. How much time did you spend with them after work to talk to them? ...about events of the day?... their friends?......observe them... any changes in body?...attitude? ... time they spend online?...what were they doing online? Did you talk to them about choosing the company they keep?.... about drugs...sex and alcohol?... the 3 things that are ruining the lives of kids? Or you hadn't the need to because they were "good girls"? In short... how much time did you as parents spend to bend the tree when it is young? This is where you guys dropped the ball.... neglecting your children while chasing paper.
At 11... your kid is telling you what she wants to do.... and do not like school...... then you and your husband sit down and discuss how to meet the demands of your kid. At 11.... most of us had such thoughts in our minds... and kept them there or shared them with our peers... but dared not express them to our parents... do I have to say why? This showed that the child already had power of you at age 11. Do you know if they are on contraceptives?.... do you know if they had abortions?... do you know if they have any STD?....or are HIV positive?.. or you prefer to shout God forbid?

My advice... take them both for HIV tests. To go for that test would clear their eyes more than any other thing.... and waiting for the results would give them a whole lot of time to reflect. They are not new to what they been doing. Locking them in the house with full social media access is not much effective as years before SM. The idea was to cut communication. Who knows... they are locked in the rooms but having virtual sex. Take away their access to SM.... but prepared for serious confrontation. You need to talk to the parents of the niece...let them know what went down.... and I guess post them both not only hack to Nigeria.... but to the village for a month or two ... let their brain reset. Keep them around the same company... they would find a way to hook up again.
Now after chewing this mouthful.... feel free to swallow... or spit it all out.

1 Like

Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Kulex56: 4:51pm On Jan 25, 2020
It's not a thing of joy seeing the one you love go astray I am not a parent yet but I can understand how you feel and how sad this has made you become because you are in the middle of both you daughter and your husband. I was once a terror to my parents all gown up now sometimes I sit back and reflect on how my parents would have felt back then and the lots I had made them go through its a motivation that I have to make them proud regardless and something good can come out of me. My candid advise is engage them you will only make matters worst be allowing them sit idle. She loves music school right let it be a catch for her to go to school while she does music school as a extra curriculum activity. I proud you things will change without you realising it same with the niece engage them with some they love that they are too busy to even remember those friends they are hanging out with. Discuss this and watch them change for better. My 2cent
Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Klington: 4:53pm On Jan 25, 2020
I have always maintained that parents are the major cause of the societal problems we have today.

They focused so much on providing the good things of life for their wads forgetting that the entire world is in their palms

The world is so corrupt that every parent should be more concerned about what their kids do both at home and in their schools.

1 Like

Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Nobody: 4:54pm On Jan 25, 2020
Alvin212:
What's wrong with girls having sex at 15.

Absolute nothing.

Better get that cherry busted, cause I don't want blood on bedspread.


The last time I preached to young girls to desist from early sex.
I was riding a dinosaur.

Y'all already know. virginity is outdated
You will advise your 14 year old Daughter to do the same??
Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Bighead9: 4:55pm On Jan 25, 2020
Hmmm, Igbo kids.

Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Afrikween(f): 4:55pm On Jan 25, 2020
budaatum:
Sounds like your 17 year old niece has led your daughter astray. If I were you, I'd send her back home to start with, then me and hubby have to sit down and be honest about how we both produced this or lie and rue the consequences of our errors.
gbam
Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by pharoahs(m): 4:55pm On Jan 25, 2020
Why?....why do husbands always blame their wives when issues arise in the house? A man is not in charge of his home and the next thing to do is blame the woman, what is that all about?
The problem with the society is a reflection of the failure of the 'Home', the dysfunctional structure being perpetuated by 'equality' in responsibility. The success of the home starts from everyone knowing their place; the man is the head of the house, yes, and he must live up to that responsibility, period!!

2 Likes

Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Witchersunited: 4:56pm On Jan 25, 2020
Send her back home, take her away from that environment that's the only solution for now.
Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by obentenyson(m): 4:58pm On Jan 25, 2020
jokes aside, your daughter is obviously a marlian, and I believe its your nephew that's kinda corrupting or........,
Re: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Was Caught In Hotel With Boys, Smoking, Drinking by Topleague(m): 5:01pm On Jan 25, 2020
it is well

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