I have always stated that no relationship is a pedestal of perfection, all have their struggle in all fronts. The first step to an excellent relationship is discovering your partner's love language.

According to Gary Chapman, the author of "The five love languages" he said, "when you reach out to your partner and discover their specific language you help them keep their emotional love tank full and maintain a meaningful connection."

Sadly, the best of us are unable to speak our partner's love language even when in a long term relationship.

When couples can speak each other’s language, there will be less tension in the relationship, they will feel loved and appreciated. These three ways will help you discover your partner's love language.

1. Learn to pay attention

The first step to discovering your partner’s love language is by learning to pay attention. For example, when you use any of Chapman's love language it is important to pay attention to which one gets your partner/spouse excited. It is imperative you are attentive to your partner's body language when you do things for them, that is the only way to know their love language than going round in circles.

Some people don't know their love language, but if you are attentive enough you can help them discover it.

2. Communication is essential

When it comes to relationship issues communication is key, and one that I can't emphasis enough. Little issues have escalated into a mountain because of miscommunication between couples.

Another way to discover your partner's love language is talking about it, ask your partner what you do that makes them excited, this will make your relationship better.

3. Keep trying

If you have not been able to discover your partner/spouse love language, try the different languages and see what works for you, if none strike excitement keep trying.

A friend told me it took her two years before she could speak her husband's love language, she kept going back and forth getting frustrated at herself. She hit jackpot after much trial and error, her words, "discovering one's partner/spouse love language is one way to a happy relationship."




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