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Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. - Romance (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by IdreamOfUnicorn(f): 12:24pm On Apr 04, 2020
Toks2008:
Have you ever heard these words from ladies?, "I know John truly wants me but i dont have any feelings for him but i have strong feelings for Jude yet he is treating me like trash"

Ladies are ruled by their feelings but unfortunately, many ladies have been sent to their early graves cos of this same feelings and many are down with mental illness and some are even locked up in psychiatry all in the name of feelings.

Now understand this; your feelings are very important but you also have the power to control it. Not every man who approaches you for romance really desires you and not every man who proposes marriage really wants you for the right reason so you need to really have a strong grip on your feelings and the first step to achieving this is to be self-sufficient in all ramifications to avoid hinging your feelings on the material things the guy can offer but rather on his true intent which is expressed in how he treats you.

Every lady has Phronesis(A type of wisdom or intelligence) that enables her know if a man sincerely wants her but she usually develops feelings for another who will most likely treat her like trash.

Your feelings can destroy you if channeled towards the wrong person so no matter how attractive that guy may look, no matter how sweet and smooth he sounds, no matter the material things he showers on you, no matter how good he is in bed, as vital as these qualities are, please always press the pause button on your feelings and observe him carefully for the right attributes. Yes people do change but a man who truly desires you will most likely always desire you regardless.


The movie Beauty and the beast is more than a fiction...one secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...this is a mystery... so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

I know this is extremely difficult for many ladies but it is the only way you can reduce the possibility of ending up in the wrong hands.

Hope this makes sense.
very intelligent writeup

1 Like

Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by professore(m): 12:28pm On Apr 04, 2020
One secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...it is a mystery so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

@ the bolded is not true cos ive tried severally to develop feelings for one or two good guys I felt would make a perfect spouse but it just didn't click. And it took me years trying to see if there's a way I can build the love for these guys, or feel something for them but same same.
You can't really force this feelings or develop it yourself, it won't work. This things happen naturally and if it not there, it not there. That is why most marriages are having problems today because you have people advising you saying, " you can build love, love grows in marriage, just marry the man first and love will come later" jaggons. If it actually works like that, then it would have happened for me when I tried forcing it for those guys I talked about earlier.

Feeling is something you can't control. That is why when you feel something for someone, you can't control how fast it grows until it reaches a peak where it becomes a threat. Likewise you dont have the power to control your feelings and make it grow for someone it doesn't click with. It's a natural phenomenon beyond every living being.

Please let not be misguided.
I believe in true love with genuine feelings and that is what covers all sins. As in no matter what the person does to you, you still want to be with them.

It took me 4 years after my ex to fall in love again. And this new guy is a Nairalander. Yes! And this happened within a few weeks. But we had a little misunderstanding and I was heartbroken to which I confided in a guy here about how I felt. So he asked me, how long have I dated this new guy that the love hurts so badly. I told him just a few weeks and he went wow! Like is it not too early to love so deeply?
Now I didn't realized that my feelings had grown so fast and so deep for this guy until he mentioned it and I paused to think but realized its not my fault! Its how nature works and we can't control these things.
All I can say is wow.
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by Oscillation(m): 12:31pm On Apr 04, 2020
Ariza:
Do I? grin . I think meeting the right guy is the perfect explanation. When I do , butterflies will fly in my belly again. Lol grin

I won't be surprised to hear u already made up ur mind ur guy must be an Engr/Dr/politician or some other specific professional, tall/short, fair/dark, muscular with 6 pack & all wat not & any deviation from this won't even catch ur attention for the 2nd time; it's good to desire good tin but there's wisdom in seeing potential not yet obvious to everyone & going for it ( an advice though)

Mr right guy is non existent, na only who pretend pass & appeals to u same time seemingly looks like him. Som1 already said guys knows wat dey want b4 entering most rltnship but it can't be ruled out that some gets stucked in relationships dey supposed to have recycled & moved on simply b/c they under estimated what else could have been on the menu aside their prime target & they only got to know the available was as good as the desired.

Mastery of ones feelings remains the surest way of bosing one's game. There're many attributes one must poses to be a master of his or her feelings such as pretence, denial, mind games, avoidance, the list goes on.

Only matured minds would stick to what they've got no mater what's on offer (married pipu only) I said this b/c it's no longer news that everyone seems to be in a relationship including young girls yet to erupt breast.

Not all feelings should be nurtured, my checks on what could most likely swerve ladies attention to guys returned notable attributes, such as; boldness (notwithstanding weda it'was due to substance abuse), muscular physique (a sense of security), intelligence (at least make dia offsprings no be ode all 2ru), wealth (almost all eyes this table, some fight desperately to anchor here while others manage wetin dey available & hope something like this comes by mek dem jump ship)
Generally some ladies could be wooed by ordinary pink lips, or even well decorated apartment same way a guy becomes almost restless @ the side of female nudes, these are natural phenomenon coordinated by hormones but controlled by those who've mastered demselves.

2 Likes

Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by Oscillation(m): 12:35pm On Apr 04, 2020
Prudency045:
There is no manual or operating procedures when it comes to relationship or marriage.

It is best you do whatever you believe in and be ready to bear the consequences of your action.

Well said, but Wat do u say about those that'd abandon the world they're building & stray into anothers world to cause commotion?
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by professore(m): 12:42pm On Apr 04, 2020
AfroKnight:
grin Women and their inconstancy.

The poster above (no offence) has shown you guys that the average woman wouldn’t just love you because you are kind to her, especially after she has formed her opinion on you. She either wants you or not. Simple.

That is why I believe a guy should cut his loses and move on when his woman cheats. You cannot and should not win such a woman back. It is dangerous to the man. Her heart is elsewhere and apparently nothing you do would change that. Perhaps maturity on her part would do. But would you wait till she’s 45 or 50 for her to realise that you are the best thing that happened to her? No.

Toks is coming from a logical point of view, trying to address the common issue of unrequited love, that has led men into suffering for a woman who would leave eventually. But this does not work. They love whom they love and mostly for illogical or unknowable reasons. It is often tied to the first impression they get when they meet the guy.

Only mature women and the very rare young woman can do what you’re asking Toks.
Nice one.
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by franchasng: 12:47pm On Apr 04, 2020
Slynation:

Bro you have spoken well... But Men love as well, currently my gf just broke up with me, I have been feeling it for a week now,I have dated many as well, All my life i thought i was that strong, nothing emotional gets to me, but this particular one went straight to the heart because i decided to give love a chance, Phuck...!! If that's the way heartbreak feels like, Most ladies are trying mahn...Perhaps love is not just for me
Bra trust me, you are missing her pussy and maybe her extra loyalty to your kingdom not love.


Men don't love romantically, the earlier you guys realize this the better.


The problem is men don't even know that they are not created to love emotionally, so they end up mistaken lust and want as love.

What is paining you is the let down. If you are a guy that have dated so many ladies and you have always been the one dumping ladies and walking out of a relationship directly or indirectly, when a girl walks out of a relationship with you or dump you, you will feel so much pain and you may mistake that emotional trauma as love, but not knowing it is a feeling of let down, a feeling of shattered male ego of being dumped by a girl.


It has nothing to do with love.



The only group of males that have something close to romantic love are teenage boys with no sexual experience or encounter. Those are the only group of male specie that have something close to romantic love for females.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by franchasng: 12:49pm On Apr 04, 2020
Omar09:


This is the explanation of what I wrote, and my head has been called for by the chief butcher Nairaland Association.

You know one thing about life is, no matter what, there must be people who sees things from a different angle from you, even if their angle is a false and dangerous angles, so don't fret about it bra

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by professore(m): 12:50pm On Apr 04, 2020
pryme:


Yeah,
But I disagree, since am a proponent of self mastery, you MUST have totally control of your feelings, or else you will be a slave to your feelings.
If you are unlucky your "feelings" come alive for only mundane things, you will be played easily and there will be too many mistakes.

A lot of people have made their lives better by having a firm grip over their feelings -
Leaving an abusive partner,
Running a company even with disabilities,
Being brave even when they were scared to death,
Forgiving,
Overcoming addiction,
Selflessness.

Feelings and emotions are not really far from each other, it can be our strength or our weakness.
But for certain it will be our weakness if we cant control it.
Oh! good God, this is smooth.
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by oduma101(m): 12:50pm On Apr 04, 2020
Toks2008:
Have you ever heard these words from ladies?, "I know John truly wants me but i dont have any feelings for him but i have strong feelings for Jude yet he is treating me like trash"

Ladies are ruled by their feelings but unfortunately, many ladies have been sent to their early graves cos of this same feelings and many are down with mental illness and some are even locked up in psychiatry all in the name of feelings.

Now understand this; your feelings are very important but you also have the power to control it. Not every man who approaches you for romance really desires you and not every man who proposes marriage really wants you for the right reason so you need to really have a strong grip on your feelings and the first step to achieving this is to be self-sufficient in all ramifications to avoid hinging your feelings on the material things the guy can offer but rather on his true intent which is expressed in how he treats you.

Every lady has Phronesis(A type of wisdom or intelligence) that enables her know if a man sincerely wants her but she usually develops feelings for another who will most likely treat her like trash.

Your feelings can destroy you if channeled towards the wrong person so no matter how attractive that guy may look, no matter how sweet and smooth he sounds, no matter the material things he showers on you, no matter how good he is in bed, as vital as these qualities are, please always press the pause button on your feelings and observe him carefully for the right attributes. Yes people do change but a man who truly desires you will most likely always desire you regardless.


The movie Beauty and the beast is more than a fiction...one secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...this is a mystery... so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

I know this is extremely difficult for many ladies but it is the only way you can reduce the possibility of ending up in the wrong hands.

Hope this makes sense.
Beautiful write up, you kill it all self sufficient in all ramifications can make woman to quickly fathom any miss feelings
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by JERRY1925(m): 1:07pm On Apr 04, 2020
One secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...it is a mystery so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

@ the bolded is not true cos ive tried severally to develop feelings for one or two good guys I felt would make a perfect spouse but it just didn't click. And it took me years trying to see if there's a way I can build the love for these guys, or feel something for them but same same.
You can't really force this feelings or develop it yourself, it won't work. This things happen naturally and if it not there, it not there. That is why most marriages are having problems today because you have people advising you saying, " you can build love, love grows in marriage, just marry the man first and love will come later" jaggons. If it actually works like that, then it would have happened for me when I tried forcing it for those guys I talked about earlier.

Feeling is something you can't control. That is why when you feel something for someone, you can't control how fast it grows until it reaches a peak where it becomes a threat. Likewise you dont have the power to control your feelings and make it grow for someone it doesn't click with. It's a natural phenomenon beyond every living being.

Please let not be misguided.
I believe in true love with genuine feelings and that is what covers all sins. As in no matter what the person does to you, you still want to be with them.

It took me 4 years after my ex to fall in love again. And this new guy is a Nairalander. Yes! And this happened within a few weeks. But we had a little misunderstanding and I was heartbroken to which I confided in a guy here about how I felt. So he asked me, how long have I dated this new guy that the love hurts so badly. I told him just a few weeks and he went wow! Like is it not too early to love so deeply?
Now I didn't realized that my feelings had grown so fast and so deep for this guy until he mentioned it and I paused to think but realized its not my fault! Its how nature works and we can't control these things.

Fact is, i think the bible says, Marriage is honourable and The bed undefiled ...something like that.
The at bolded u picked is very true.
But would never work for a Girl thats no longer a virgin.
There are importance attached to being a virgin.
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by Goodmarlian: 1:23pm On Apr 04, 2020
Jeferious:
Anytime I hear that women are "emotional creatures"... I'd be like "Ndi Iberibe, be deceiving yourself by yourself." Person go use im own hand dey scam imself.

A man is a human being. A woman is a human being. The only difference is their sex organs, and other physical attributes. Man is a rational being, and thus both genders knows what they are doing. Stop making excuses for ndi a.

i guess you know little about women or should i say you are inexperienced
women are very different even them know their different.

1 Like 1 Share

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Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by MOnkeyBabe(f): 1:36pm On Apr 04, 2020
bukatyne:
People should develop a healthy self esteem so they naturally gravitate towards people who treat them with the premium they have placed on themselves.

I also doubt that people geniuely fall in love plenty times in their lives. Most people lost the person they truly loved when they were younger.

Someone once said men don't marry who they live, they marry who is available.(this is very debatable).

The more people you enter a relationship or give your heart to, the less love or relationship is sacred to you.

The less premium you place on yourself, the easier it is to stay with people who treat you like crap.

but JeSus ChRist placed a high PRemium on himself )( yet he offered his life to Save people who treated him like CRaP. He said father,"foRGive them for they do not know what they do".
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by Nobody: 1:41pm On Apr 04, 2020
justnock:
You're very correct. Ladies are complex, unlike men that knows what he wants right away. [/b]Whenever a man goes into a relationship, he already knows where it will lead to.[b] Men are very logical. Ladies are not. You can't blame ladies, that is they way they are wired to think and act. At the end of the day, NOTHING IS GUARANTEED. Just go with the flow.

Not true. Many men start seeing a woman for the booty and develop feelings in the process. I hear from reliable sources that Davido And Chioma’s relationship was initially supposed to be just a jumpoff but nigga caught feelings and now they getting married. Men can be just as emotionally unpredictable as women. In fact I know many men who are more emotional than women. We are just better at concealing our true feelings because people like you and society make us believe it is weak and unmanly to display them. And we must always appear logical and in control of our feelings at all times. It’s an unnecessary burden we put on ourselves.

2 Likes

Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by Newmanluckyman(m): 1:45pm On Apr 04, 2020
Ellipsoid:
This is not true. If I have no romantic feelings for someone (and the reason may not have anything to do with his looks), I can't force it no matter how much I try. I've had guys like me but I did not like them back in that way and simply preferred being friends because the romantic feelings just weren't there.
... But the feelings will automatically show or manifest immediately once money and material things are involve.

Make una the deceive unaself.

2 Likes

Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by Nobody: 1:49pm On Apr 04, 2020
Newmanluckyman:
... But the feelings will automatically show or manifest immediately once money and material things are involve.

Make una the deceive unaself.
Haha so true. She only didn’t like those guys because they were Broke. Let that same guy come back to her a few years later in a Bentley, Gucci shoes and a flat in banana island. Omo the feelings will manifest from somewhere o.

Money is the switch that turns these naija girls fake feelings on and off at will.

3 Likes

Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by Nobody: 1:52pm On Apr 04, 2020
slyfoxxjoe:


Not true. Many men start seeing a woman for the booty and develop feelings in the process. I hear from reliable sources that Davido And Chioma’s relationship was initially supposed to be just a jumpoff but nigga caught feelings and now they getting married. Men can be just as emotionally unpredictable as women. In fact I know many men who are more emotional than women. We are just better at concealing our true feelings because people like you and society make us believe it is weak and unmanly to display them. And we must always appear logical and in control of our feelings at all times. It’s an unnecessary burden we put on ourselves.
You're right. I get your point. There are some ladies I can smash but will NEVER ever fall in LOVE or develop feelings for.
My feelings can be finicky.
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by kwinp(f): 1:52pm On Apr 04, 2020
Raalsalghul:


Is this really your opinion or you're just trying to impress that Poco babe?

I'm very well aware of your streak.

When will you pipe down on the asslicking ehn? When? undecided


i am glad to know that even men feel irritated about ornicu.s asslicking and bitchy habits. if he married a quality woman, i do not have doubt that his wife is the man in their marriage, because no quality woman will respect his type
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by Rossycee(f): 1:53pm On Apr 04, 2020
One secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...it is a mystery so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

@ the bolded is not true cos ive tried severally to develop feelings for one or two good guys I felt would make a perfect spouse but it just didn't click. And it took me years trying to see if there's a way I can build the love for these guys, or feel something for them but same same.
You can't really force this feelings or develop it yourself, it won't work. This things happen naturally and if it not there, it not there. That is why most marriages are having problems today because you have people advising you saying, " you can build love, love grows in marriage, just marry the man first and love will come later" jaggons. If it actually works like that, then it would have happened for me when I tried forcing it for those guys I talked about earlier.

Feeling is something you can't control. That is why when you feel something for someone, you can't control how fast it grows until it reaches a peak where it becomes a threat. Likewise you dont have the power to control your feelings and make it grow for someone it doesn't click with. It's a natural phenomenon beyond every living being.

Please let not be misguided.
I believe in true love with genuine feelings and that is what covers all sins. As in no matter what the person does to you, you still want to be with them.

It took me 4 years after my ex to fall in love again. And this new guy is a Nairalander. Yes! And this happened within a few weeks. But we had a little misunderstanding and I was heartbroken to which I confided in a guy here about how I felt. So he asked me, how long have I dated this new guy that the love hurts so badly. I told him just a few weeks and he went wow! Like is it not too early to love so deeply?
Now I didn't realized that my feelings had grown so fast and so deep for this guy until he mentioned it and I paused to think but realized its not my fault! Its how nature works and we can't control these things.
Now the part you said 'feelings can make u be with someone no matter what they do' caught my attention. My dear I don't believe in that school of thought, that's the reason why most women end up in abusive marriages and some are murdered in their matrimonial homes reason been that they love the man and can't leave. Their are signs you will see in a relationship that needs a rethink, I mean damn whatever you feel for him and run as fast as your legs can carry you. The worst thing that can happen is heartbreak which heals with time but if you put your feelings first before your wellbeing you will realize your mistakes when it's too late. We should not only love with our heart but allow our heads to accompany us in so doing one doesn't end up in wrong hands.

3 Likes

Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by Rossycee(f): 1:54pm On Apr 04, 2020
mumumugu:
can an emotional being stop being emotional
It can be controlled..
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by Lawsimon(m): 1:56pm On Apr 04, 2020
One secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...it is a mystery so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

@ the bolded is not true cos ive tried severally to develop feelings for one or two good guys I felt would make a perfect spouse but it just didn't click. And it took me years trying to see if there's a way I can build the love for these guys, or feel something for them but same same.
You can't really force this feelings or develop it yourself, it won't work. This things happen naturally and if it not there, it not there. That is why most marriages are having problems today because you have people advising you saying, " you can build love, love grows in marriage, just marry the man first and love will come later" jaggons. If it actually works like that, then it would have happened for me when I tried forcing it for those guys I talked about earlier.

Feeling is something you can't control. That is why when you feel something for someone, you can't control how fast it grows until it reaches a peak where it becomes a threat. Likewise you dont have the power to control your feelings and make it grow for someone it doesn't click with. It's a natural phenomenon beyond every living being.

Please let not be misguided.
I believe in true love with genuine feelings and that is what covers all sins. As in no matter what the person does to you, you still want to be with them.

It took me 4 years after my ex to fall in love again. And this new guy is a Nairalander. Yes! And this happened within a few weeks. But we had a little misunderstanding and I was heartbroken to which I confided in a guy here about how I felt. So he asked me, how long have I dated this new guy that the love hurts so badly. I told him just a few weeks and he went wow! Like is it not too early to love so deeply?
Now I didn't realized that my feelings had grown so fast and so deep for this guy until he mentioned it and I paused to think but realized its not my fault! Its how nature works and we can't control these things.

Nne, your statement that is bolded is not completely true. I can control my feeling. I have built myself to allow reasoning prevail over emotion.

I am a staunch advocate of 'love grows'. Before I concluded my on this, I carried out experiments and also observed events.

As it is now, I don't move by feelings that dissipate suddenly. What moves me is having the right kind values and character. I don't really care much about how a person looks.

2 Likes

Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by stormborn28(m): 1:57pm On Apr 04, 2020
Ariza:
The bolded is one thing I try so hard to make people understand but only few do. People when they reach certain age make this mistake a lot both men and women. The popular quote among them is " if the desired isn't available,the available becomes the desired" lol. Then I ask why wasn't the available desired in the first place and not the unavailable desired. The truth is the available wasn't desired but accepted and would be delightfully discarded if the desired ends showing up. That's the logic!


However, from another perspective Toks is right. A woman must be able to contain and guide her emotions/ feelings for her own sake. Not all proposals are sincere, neither should all crushes be explored. As women we tend to catch feelings easily but we should be matured enough to handle them, take some steps back, do logic thinking before releasing it to grow. Sometimes it's best to kill some feelings than to nurture them.
your last statement sum it up... If you want to survive and survive better do what you said in the last paragraph

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by EmmyKrim(m): 2:02pm On Apr 04, 2020
Toks2008:
Have you ever heard these words from ladies?, "I know John truly wants me but i dont have any feelings for him but i have strong feelings for Jude yet he is treating me like trash"

Ladies are ruled by their feelings but unfortunately, many ladies have been sent to their early graves cos of this same feelings and many are down with mental illness and some are even locked up in psychiatry all in the name of feelings.

Now understand this; your feelings are very important but you also have the power to control it. Not every man who approaches you for romance really desires you and not every man who proposes marriage really wants you for the right reason so you need to really have a strong grip on your feelings and the first step to achieving this is to be self-sufficient in all ramifications to avoid hinging your feelings on the material things the guy can offer but rather on his true intent which is expressed in how he treats you.

Every lady has Phronesis(A type of wisdom or intelligence) that enables her know if a man sincerely wants her but she usually develops feelings for another who will most likely treat her like trash.

Your feelings can destroy you if channeled towards the wrong person so no matter how attractive that guy may look, no matter how sweet and smooth he sounds, no matter the material things he showers on you, no matter how good he is in bed, as vital as these qualities are, please always press the pause button on your feelings and observe him carefully for the right attributes. Yes people do change but a man who truly desires you will most likely always desire you regardless.


The movie Beauty and the beast is more than a fiction...one secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...this is a mystery... so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

I know this is extremely difficult for many ladies but it is the only way you can reduce the possibility of ending up in the wrong hands.

Hope this makes sense.
one of the best piece i have read in a long while.
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by EmmyKrim(m): 2:05pm On Apr 04, 2020
Omar09:


I don't know if you were actually conscious when you posted this. I mean you are asking women to reprogram themselves, and to do things for themselves. You are asking women to pause their emotions the thing they live and strive on, their skill? C'mon man, it's not possible. They'd rather die than do that. You don't tell a specie to not act on how nature built it. If you had asked men not to be emotional then I'd say you asked them to leave a terrain that's not theirs unto one which is theirs "logic".
you made no point honestly, didn't see a sense in what you wrote. it's not a piece for argument trust me.
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by MOnkeyBabe(f): 2:34pm On Apr 04, 2020
Amanda4life:


Yes only the matured and very rare young ladies.

This job should mostly be done by a parents at younger age.

Once you don't hide anything from your female child at early stage of her life before she goes into TEENS.
If you can capture her mind and make her sew the world of love differently, she will grow to be different from her peers


But most parents may feel its too early or may not really have time for such

If you fail to do this , it means that you are leaving that child to be taught by life experience s, which may not be good at all.
Some, as a result may become feminist, while some may not live to tell their stories.

Not good for a woman to date many men before getting married

Exactly what I was thinking this morning.Dating too many headless men is another PROBlem.Once my Daughters ReaCh 18 and they've found someone they truly love,why not give the GOAhead for marriage.
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by XwhY(m): 2:47pm On Apr 04, 2020
doczero:
It's all about emotional intelligence which Daniel Goleman took time to outline in his book. Emotional intelligence is all about learning how to control your emotions before you take any decision on life. This also includes decisions about who you love and eventually marry. People should read, seek for wisdom always. If you are a Christian, try and read Proverbs on daily basis. Thanks

What's the title of the book sir?
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by sammyesx: 3:46pm On Apr 04, 2020
Nigerianization:
What makes for a successful human relationship at all levels are...
1: Respect: Some women respect their pastors and bosses more than their spouses.. Same for some men.
2: Commitment: Some of us studied courses that we don't like but still made good grades. Same for love relationship... Eccl 9vs 10
3: Tolerance: Too much expectation leads to frustration.
4: Decision: Whatever thing good that attracted you to me must be sustained by me and vice versa
5: Communication: Every relationship must have what I call DEFINITION OF TERMS
We must define the following
A: acceptable and unacceptable behavioural standards
B: duties, roles and boundaries
C: pardonable and unpardonable relationship sins Eg. Cheating, physical abuse, verbal abuse etc.
D: financial rights and limits
E: role and limitations of third parties in our relationship.

Can two work together except they agree??

Spot on
Spoken like Dr Daniel akpata

1 Like

Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by MOnkeyBabe(f): 4:15pm On Apr 04, 2020
Nigerianization:
I have read so many submissions here and I want to share my thoughts on this issue
1: 1st Corr 14 Vs 32.... and the spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets.

For those of us that believe in the scriptures, if this is not applicable to you, then, you lack self control and discipline. It will therefore be a fallacy of hasty generalization to use your obvious life of lack of discipline and self control as a basis for conclusion - THAT ONE CANNOT REALLY CONTROL HOW SHE (or HE) FEELS TOWARDS HER (or HIS) LOVE INTEREST

2: The fellow that drew a thin line between love and acceptance..please permit me to add that your analysis is spot on except for the fact that the dichotomy you tried to create does not exist. Love and acceptance are two sides of the same coin.

You cannot marry someone you don't have any atom of love for (I stand to be challenged on this point).

3: This brings me to my final point - TO LOVE IS A CHOICE. Thumbs up to the person that made the submission earlier.

Whether I feel something for you or not, if I DECIDE to marry you - for any reason whatsoever, then I love you - to an extent. The fact that I lack self control and the discipline to stick to my MARRIAGE COMMITMENT by abandoning my partner at the sight of another love interest does not justify the fact that I could have chosen not to.

BOTTOM LINE: MAN (WOMAN) KNOW THY SELF
God bless you for using the hOly SCRiptures. Because there are a lot of false theories.
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by Jeferious: 4:38pm On Apr 04, 2020
Goodmarlian:


i guess you know little about women or should i say you are inexperienced
women are very different even them know their different.
Anything you type, I'm not bothered. Na you get your fingers. And continue making excuses for a gender who are using several misconceptions about them to scam you. Las las you go dey alright
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by kelish(f): 4:49pm On Apr 04, 2020
Easier said than done. A lady and love is complication beyond mere understanding.
Re: Ladies: Before you feel the butterflies. by otherway: 5:06pm On Apr 04, 2020
Toks2008:
Have you ever heard these words from ladies?, "I know John truly wants me but i dont have any feelings for him but i have strong feelings for Jude yet he is treating me like trash"

Ladies are ruled by their feelings but unfortunately, many ladies have been sent to their early graves cos of this same feelings and many are down with mental illness and some are even locked up in psychiatry all in the name of feelings.

Now understand this; your feelings are very important but you also have the power to control it. Not every man who approaches you for romance really desires you and not every man who proposes marriage really wants you for the right reason so you need to really have a strong grip on your feelings and the first step to achieving this is to be self-sufficient in all ramifications to avoid hinging your feelings on the material things the guy can offer but rather on his true intent which is expressed in how he treats you.

Every lady has Phronesis(A type of wisdom or intelligence) that enables her know if a man sincerely wants her but she usually develops feelings for another who will most likely treat her like trash.

Your feelings can destroy you if channeled towards the wrong person so no matter how attractive that guy may look, no matter how sweet and smooth he sounds, no matter the material things he showers on you, no matter how good he is in bed, as vital as these qualities are, please always press the pause button on your feelings and observe him carefully for the right attributes. Yes people do change but a man who truly desires you will most likely always desire you regardless.


The movie Beauty and the beast is more than a fiction...one secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...this is a mystery... so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

I know this is extremely difficult for many ladies but it is the only way you can reduce the possibility of ending up in the wrong hands.

Hope this makes sense.

A Wise lady learns from the experience of others whilst the foolish one learns from her own experience.

Toks I doff my heart for you and I am most certain your girlchild will hardly miss it if she listens to you.

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