"Fear Woman"

At some point shortly before I entered the seminary, I avoided having any physical contact with ladies. I thought
I was so holy by doing that. My definition of a holy man then was hinged on the man's ability not to have much
to do with women, one who avoids physical contacts with women, even handshakes.

This was because,
While growing up, there were pictures painted to us about women. Women were often portrayed as tempters, as
people often used by the devil. They gave us the impression that women can destroy the destiny of any man
and bring the person down no matter how strong he is.

I still remembered those days, preachers, catechism teachers and motivational preachers will tell us that for a
man to be successful he needs to be careful with women, if possible keep them far away. Fortunately for them
and unfortunately for us, there were lots of biblical passages they were able to pick to justify their teachings.

For example:

According to them, in Genesis 3, Adam fell because of the woman. In 2 Samuel 11, the reason why David fell,
despite the fact that he was able to kill the giant called Goliath and was regarded as having a special place in
God's heart, was simply because of a woman, a naked woman. Even Solomon in all his wisdom was made
foolish by women. Samson in all his muscles and powers became nothing because of a "muscle-less
powerless" woman called Delilah.

So while growing up, we had this neighbour popularly called Apama, a six ft tall and huge man that sold goat
meat. His motto was "Fear woman". He wrote it boldly beside his bike's plate number. Whenever he walked the
street, people hail him with those words: "Fear woman!" and he will raise his hand high in acknowledgement.

The words "fear woman" kept ringing in my head. As a kid, it made a lot of influence on me. I watched how in
school, boys that don't usually talk with girls were regarded as holy boys. Those that always chat with women
were called "woman-wrapper" to show that they are far from holiness. Then I took this to the seminary as what
holiness should be.

And so, in my first year in the seminary, every Sunday we usually have outsiders, male and females and
especially females, who come to our chapel for mass and prayers. Immediately after mass, fiam. . . with the
speed of light, Kelvin is already in his room. I was simply avoiding contact with any female. In fact, I do not
want to see them.

To my shock, one Sunday after mass, myself and some of my classmates as usual have already dashed into
our rooms. The director of formation then, Fr Moses Amune, came into our hostels to chase us out so we can
go and interact with the people including women. Sincerely speaking, I was greatly scandalized.

"How can he ask us to go and chat with women?" I asked myself. "This is supposed to be a seminary, a holy
place." I added. I concluded that he wants to test us and then expel us. I reluctantly went and as I chatted, I did
it with so much caution. After many years I came to understand and appreciate the wisdom of what he was
trying to do to us:
Holiness is about being balanced and being disciplined. Holiness is more of self control.You cannot be a priest
if all you see about women are tempters, sex objects, etc. And this is the point, being a virgin because you are
running away from girls is not the same as being a virgin despite having many opportunities in secret and said
no.
Why should we blame Uriah's wife for David's inability to control himself? Why bring a woman for stoning
because she was caught in adultery but found nothing wrong with the fact that the man she did it with was not
brought along side?

Why should we blame women's dressing when they are raped by men? And just like in Pastor Adeboye's tweet,
why must we sack a lady in our offices because men can't control themselves? Will it not be wiser to sack the
men for not having self control?

Over the years, women have been objectified as though they are made for men's use. It is also interesting to
note how women have even accepted this objectification. You will get to understand this by just looking at
some of the videos they make of themselves in their status and updates and even the dance trending for
almost all of them in which they called tweaking.

As a woman, you are not an object to be used by the man. As a man, if you don't have self control, don't blame
it on the woman even if she is naked before you. The bible said, if your right eye should cause you to sin, pluck
it out. It did not say if anything should cause your eye to sin, pluck that thing out instead of your eye. In other
words, the bible is simply saying: WORK ON YOURSELF.

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Women nowadays misbehave in the way they say things, the way they carry themselves,their lifestyles on the media, and their dressings. Anything that happens to them happen because they are the ones that call for it. For Christ's sake if you dress decently and present yourself decently who's that guy that will want to toy with you

Awareness and self-control is what really matters, even a decently dressed woman can still be the tool for a man's destruction.

Lalasticlala, OAM4J: This thread should have been on front page.
Let people see that we do not need to "Fear Women."

Proof that the church knows nothing about life. How can you fear women who are the perpetrators of life? Men and women both fail because you both fail to understand life.