donstan18:
I'm a traditional person who believes every reasonable person should understand the norms of his/her society and culture regardless of where he/she lives.

From your story, your husband respects almost all your decisions, he's not a controlling or arrogant type, he understands and know how to treat you well.

But I tell you, the moment you start making decisions that will make it look like you want to separate your husband from his mother will mark the beginning of your problems with your husband's family.

I'll advice you to adjust some decisions with your husband and allow your MIL visit.

Make I give you small expo......

As a wife in a family, don't ever cause a fight between your husband and his family members or PUBLICLY support your husband during any quarrel or argument with his family members. Because at the end of the day, they'll reconcile and forgive him as a son and brother, but will NEVER forgive you, his supporter

Kindly allow her come pay a visit, she's not coming to live forever with you or to snatch your husband away. She'll come, go and you'll have your peace.

Exactly, allow families do their do.
After them go na you and your husband go dey.
I no even get time yo drag something with person.
Abeg take comot, i no want wahala.
Na your brother do am anyhow you like and he permits.

mimimile93:
my mom over my wife anytime any day.

And your wife's mum over you any time any day......why don't you get married to your mum?
And please stop using Allah's name to curse anybody, you have no right to do that even to the worst creature. God knows more than you do. I'm so ashamed of sharing the same Faith with you if truly you are a Muslim.
Salam

UmmuFarrah:

And your wife's mum over you any time any day......why don't you get married to your mum?
And please stop using Allah's name to curse anybody, you have no right to do that even to the worst creature. God knows more than you do. I'm so ashamed of sharing the same Faith with you if truly you are a Muslim.
Salam

May Allah show us mercy at this period.

I am not necessarily looking for advice, I just want to get the story out and maybe get some other perspectives...waste of time..

Op please stop seeing her as your mother in law but see her as your mother. This will enable you to bear and forgive her excesses and remember you will also be a mother in law one day.

Allow her to come and you can also bring your own mother so as to ease the tension between you both.