₦airaland Forum

Saw this on t.v. on Divorce Court  A lady has two bank accounts. One she shares with her husband therefore the pin number is shared as well and the other she has strictly to herself. The woman does NOT work as the husband provides money for her. Her high-end clothes, all three of her cars and he ability to go shopping when ever and where ever is all thanks to him. Due to his job as a Real Estate agent they live VERY good but because of the economy at times he comes up short. Her hubby has no access to the money in her private account and he is not allowed to inquire or borrow from that account even if necessary. The thing is, he gave her the 'ok' in the first place to have her own account, but bawled in court that she was selfish! Do you agree?

[size=5pt]I don't.[/size]

Are they Nigerians? i ask because the Nigerian culture is very harsh with a widow, so maybe he okayed the account in case anything happens to him so she could still be secured financially. That being the case, no reason should be given to withdraw money from that account except its a life threatening issue.

[color=#9900ff]I can understand her part.  I don't like people reneging on their promises/word hence i disregard most promises (chimes in wind mostly) but when someone makes that promise i make sure he/she knows the consequences and there is no backing out thus it usually ends up in a document with witnesses to verify  But in a partnership of this nature where love and care is a supposed to be a big part, i would think that even he's not allowed full authority, she'd make the effort to share after all it did come from him [/color]

@Odunnu, no they are Americans, of Middle Eastern descent - i think.

@Iice, I agree. Some people (usually the men ) start off really well financially and charm the pants off of the other spouse but forget that with marriage comes more responsibility. Hope he learned a lesson. I dont think she was selfish for having the account but she could pitch in when he is struggling.

She is selfish yes.

Selfish - once u r married u actually become 1

snthesis:
Selfish - once u r married u actually become 1

googles:
She is selfish yes.

I completely agree with the 2 writers above.

Very selfish woman (even if husband initially agreed to the second exclusive account) what happened to the fundamental agreement in marriage i.e. for better for worse, as in now that the man is financially down.
Abeg, this is simply a parasitic relationship not based on partnership where the woman is clearly taking advantage of a foolish husband.
The black widow spider, known for devouring her mate during love making, comes to mind - trust a woman to want to have her cake and eat it.

Me_Aboki:
Very selfish woman (even if husband initially agreed to the second exclusive account) what happened to the fundamental agreement in marriage i.e. for better for worse, as in now that the man is financially down.
Abeg, this is simply a parasitic relationship not based on partnership where the woman is clearly taking advantage of a foolish husband.
The black widow spider, known for devouring her mate during love making, comes to mind - trust a woman to want to have her cake and eat it.

Gbam, very selfish woman with a mumu husband by her side.

@poster
dont understand what she was selfish about?! did he ask her to help with the bills when he couldnt and she refused?!
how does he even know that she has money in the account?!

MzDarkSkin:
Saw this on t.v. on Divorce Court A lady has two bank accounts. One she shares with her husband therefore the pin number is shared as well and the other she has strictly to herself. The woman does NOT work as the husband provides money for her. Her high-end clothes, all three of her cars and he ability to go shopping when ever and where ever is all thanks to him. Due to his job as a Real Estate agent they live VERY good but because of the economy at times he comes up short. Her hubby has no access to the money in her private account and he is not allowed to inquire or borrow from that account even if necessary. The thing is, he gave her the 'ok' in the first place to have her own account, but bawled in court that she was selfish! Do you agree?

[size=5pt]I don't.[/size]

@MRbrown C'mon have a look at the emboldment. Now does my husband really need to ask even when it is blatantly clear that times are tough? Why cant she offer to assist? especially knowing that the hubby is not allowed to inquire or borrow from that account.

Had to read the post again just to be clear, is her selfishness what caused the divorce in the first place?

^IRONICALLY, the husband didn't accuse her of being selfish until he could not provide for her as he used to.

And now that he cannot provide for her like he used to. She has money so she should step up to the plate. If her husband suffers so will she. How else is she getting her money if not from her husband since she doesnt have a job or a means of income?

SA Lady:
@MRbrown C'mon have a look at the emboldment. Now does my husband really need to ask even when it is blatantly clear that times are tough? Why cant she offer to assist? especially knowing that the hubby is not allowed to inquire or borrow from that account.

still doesnt confirm if A) she has money B) he asked her to pay bills and she refused?!
what about if she is simply as broke as he is?! we all know how women love to spend spend spend. . . . . . . . .

Let me get this,


The chick in question is selfish because she has an account? I have my own account that I had before I MET MY HUSBAND and why should I close my account because I am married? Hmm!

Mrs, Eve:
Let me get this,


The chick in question is selfish because she has an account? I have my own account that I had before I MET MY HUSBAND and why should I close my account because I am married? Hmm!

the problem is making the account a secret

Even if the account were made in secret, why is that a problem?

Mrs, Eve:
Even if the account were made in secret, why is that a problem?

why would you keep it a secret once kept a secret there is no more trust

Uhmmm Zimdrill that why it called A SECRET ACCOUNT why would I keep it a secret if it a secret, well in that case zimdrill we all can't be trusted COS WE ALL GOT SECRETS,

Mrs, Eve:
Uhmmm Zimdrill that why it called A SECRET ACCOUNT why would I keep it a secret if it a secret, well in that case zimdrill we all can't be trusted COS WE ALL GOT SECRETS,

something hidden away from triggers questions why was it hidden away from me

I'm going to see if I can find the episode online. She was a HOT mess and she did spend alot!

MzDarkSkin:
Saw this on t.v. on Divorce Court  A l[b]ady has two bank accounts. One she shares with her husband[/b] therefore the pin number is shared as well and the other she has strictly to herself. The woman does NOT work as the husband provides money for her. Her high-end clothes, all three of her cars and he ability to go shopping when ever and where ever is all thanks to him. Due to his job as a Real Estate agent they live VERY good but because of the economy at times he comes up short. Her hubby has no access to the money in her private account and he is not allowed to inquire or borrow from that account even if necessary. The thing is, he gave her the 'ok' in the first place to have her own account, but bawled in court that she was selfish! Do you agree?

[size=5pt]I don't.[/size]

All the information necessary to arrived at the conclusion that the woman was selfish were contained in the initial post, one only need to read in between the lines (now in bold).

Nothing secret about the account, as already husband knew and gave the initial OK, because he could afford it at the time along with her extravagant life style, until the economy changed and he no longer could; which under subsequent circumstances wife would not even allow him borrow from (as she continued to keep it exclusively to herself); hence husband's conclusion at the divorce court that she was selfish - which I totally agree.

@ MzDarkSkin
Well I don't know if you can find that particular episode. But I found where you can watch divorce court online.
http://www.ovguide.com/tv/divorce_court.htm

see if you can find it here.

If after reading the post properly you still dont agree that the wife is selfish, then you yourself are very selfish and you need to go to rehab.

I assume a lot of you commented without reading the entire post.

Koyoke

She is not selfish because she has a bank account! Regardless if it hidden, COME ON!

Eve . .check out this scenario.

- Your husband works but you dont.

- Out of the money the man provides, you have both a joint account and a secret account.

- when the money was rolling in, you were living the life . .enjoying.

- Now the husband is broke and you decide the money is for you alone.

Now what do you think?

When my wife lost her job, I added her to all my accounts and gave her two credits cards.

She did not even feel like she lost her job for 6months.

That is what love and family is all about.

Now do you think she loves, respects and appreciates me more for that?   Of course she does.

I love my wife - her being happy makes me feel good.  There should be no I in love and you should not have to force it.

so what is the essense of all my money is my wife and kids are broke??

nada!!

Koyoke,

You missing the point, the point is HER SECRET BANK ACCOUNT, how did the HUSBAND KNOW SHE HAS ONE?

If he didn't know how the hell would he be asking for what he dont know? So therefore, THE SECRET ACCOUNT doesn't exist! IF she doesn't give him money out of HER SECRET ACCOUNT and because she didn't have a job how can he EXPECT her to give back what he gave her?

That just like me asking my granny to return the diapers I gave her! WTF! He should have save his money just like she did!

^^^

If she's saving money, and he's saving money . . when there's only one source of income, then how will the bills be paid?

Bottomline, there should be no secret in a loving marriage. Period.

If it was the husband that was holding back in this case, I know how many -ve comments would be on this thread by now

I read the post and according to the OP, HE GAVE HER THE OKAY to have the account so therefore it wasn't a secret and BOTTOM LNE, how do he know she have ANYTHING IN THE ACCOUNT is my question Koyoke,

Regardless if the marriage is lovely, IF I HAVE A DOLLAR THAT I HAVE KEPT IN MY POCKET FOR FIFTY YEARS and all of suddenmy husband want my dollar because I am his wife, I don't have to give him my DOLLAR that I was given.

ONce again, if I breast feed my babies and when they get older for whatever reason I ask them for something and they say no, I Can't TELL THEM TO REGURGIATE ALL THE BREAST MILK I GAVE THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE MY CHILDREN AND I AM THEIR MOTHER,

wth