Dear NAIRALANDERS, this note could be long but I will still make it brief concerning a very close friend of mine who is troubled with a family issues.

This my friend back twenty years ago meet a lady,an urohobo lady,they started dating, and eventually the lady got pregnant and delivered a first child who should be eighteen by next month,,and after that they had five more children making six but one died later making the children now five (3boys and 2girls)

The problem this my friend is having now is that the woman has left him for another urohbo man because this my friend did not pay her dowry,,,and this said man that this my friend wife followed is a married man with children, but according to my finding this man's wife is from akwa ibom.

Now this my friend has tried to pursued her to reconcile back for the sake of the children, but the woman refused, the man tried all avenue of people to intercede on his behalf but the woman said no,,,this my friend even called the pastor of her church,,, and even his own family to beg her,but she refused.

This my friend initially made a mistake of cheating on his wife first due to his wife troublesome behavior, so he now found a side chick, but when the woman found out,and seeing that after all the man has not paid her dowry also went a LovePeddler too.(but the reason this my friend gave me was that the parents of this is wife were also divorced too and they are not in Lagos,and this his wife does not want to see his father.

So friends, what should this my friend do now,,should he continue to beg her or finally call it quit?? There was a day this my friend showed me the his wife's man friend at lawanson Cole street,,,,,,,, but to me I told this my friend to move on with his life,,,,as long as the man has rented an apartment for her and have been moving together for four years now...

So pls give my friend an advice,,cos he need it .

Missimelda01 help o

Because my advice is they were never legally or traditionally married so everyone should move on in peace

Let him move on. Women are like rainbows. When the going is Good they are with you, when it is not, they are off to a better person. The same man that she left for will get tired of her and the cycle continues

Hahaha this matter funny o, you never pay bride price you con dey cheat

You're lucky she's not igbo, even the 5 children you no go see again. Nonsense and ingredients

But Op, is this your friend educated?

cc
Ladylite

This my friend
That my friend

Shower her with dowry and she will come crawling back.

You kept someone's daughter in your house for years, producing and caring for your offsprings but you never for once man up to do the needful.

You are lucky she is not from my own neck of the wood or you will never see the kids again.

You've not paid bride price? Like seriously? Your lucky she's not igbo shaa, even that five shildren you no go see

You no pay bride price, give person child belle 5 times and still had the gut to cheat
Where I come from, just count yourself as someone wey no get child because the children ain't yours!!
I seriously don't have any advice for you, if you ain't ready to treat her right and paying her dowry, then let her go to the person that values her!!

Pls this has nothing to do with me,,is just that I want to know all of you opinion, so that my friend can move forward,, and to those who Say's that the wiFE WILL go away with the children,,, they are grown up,,,the first child is 18, the second is 15, the third is 12,the fourth is 10and the last is 7,,,so I really don't think that the woman will do it.

ctbhola:
Pls this has nothing to do with me,,is just that I want to know all of you opinion, so that my friend can move forward,, and to those who Say's that the wiFE WILL go away with the children,,, they are grown up,,,the first child is 18, the second is 15, the third is 12,the fourth is 10and the last is 7,,,so I really don't think that the woman will do it.

No one said the woman will take the kids away, they only said if she was Igbo, you'd never see those kids again, Urhobo has a different culture and traditions from Igbo.

I blame your friend, he wasn't serious, bribe price in Urhobo land is very cheap, with little cash at hand, you can settle everything, why then did he not do the necessary? you said she had some attitudes yet your friend kept impregnating her, not one but 5kids.

If he had paid the dowry, the woman won't dare move out with another man just like that, our ladies take their marital vows sacred.

According to our custom, the lady has done no wrong, and if her current man pays the dowry, then forget about her.

You can't eat your cake and have it..

You want a permanent side chic without marrying her after 5 kids. What more do you want from her? All she is asking for is to make her legitimate in her home let her have a say. But no.

Anyways since they have been apart for a while then let him move on. Make arrangements with her as to the upkeep and maintenance school fees etc of the children and go and find a new spouse. And this time let him pay dowry

Always their friends or cousins or neighbors,it's never them. Anyway hope you get the advice you need.

Na "this my friend, this my friend I just de read for the write up".
No worry, mod go soon change the topic for u now

Efewestern:


No one said the woman will take the kids away, they only said if she was Igbo, you'd never see those kids again, Urhobo has a different culture and traditions from Igbo.

I blame your friend, he wasn't serious, bribe price in Urhobo land is very cheap, with little cash at hand, you can settle everything, w.
hy then did he not do the necessary? you said she had some attitudes yet your friend kept impregnating her, not one but 5kids.

If he had paid the dowry, the woman won't dare move out with another man just like that, our ladies take their marital vows sacred.

According to our custom, the lady has done no wrong, and if her current man pays the dowry, then forget about her.

,,,,,,,,,,so you support her behavior,, after my friend begged her,even use the pastor of her church,, even calling his family and friend,,,,,, now she followed a married man with children,,, and the man's wife is from akwa ibom...

ctbhola:
Dear NAIRALANDERS, this note could be long but I will still make it brief concerning a very close friend of mine who is troubled with a family issues.

This my friend back twenty years ago meet a lady,an urohobo lady,they started dating, and eventually the lady got pregnant and delivered a first child who should be eighteen by next month,,and after that they had five more children making six but one died later making the children now five (3boys and 2girls)

The problem this my friend is having now is that the woman has left him for another urohbo man because this my friend did not pay her dowry,,,and this said man that this my friend wife followed is a married man with children, but according to my finding this man's wife is from akwa ibom.

Now this my friend has tried to pursued her to reconcile back for the sake of the children, but the woman refused, the man tried all avenue of people to intercede on his behalf but the woman said no,,,this my friend even called the pastor of her church,,, and even his own family to beg her,but she refused.

This my friend initially made a mistake of cheating on his wife first due to his wife troublesome behavior, so he now found a side chick, but when the woman found out,and seeing that after all the man has not paid her dowry also went a LovePeddler too.(but the reason this my friend gave me was that the parents of this is wife were also divorced too and they are not in Lagos,and this his wife does not want to see his father.

So friends, what should this my friend do now,,should he continue to beg her or finally call it quit?? There was a day this my friend showed me the his wife's man friend at lawanson Cole street,,,,,,,, but to me I told this my friend to move on with his life,,,,as long as the man has rented an apartment for her and have been moving together for four years now...

So pls give my friend an advice,,cos he need it .

ctbhola:
,,,,,,,,,,so you support her behavior,, after my friend begged her,even use the pastor of her church,, even calling his family and friend,,,,,, now she followed a married man with children,,, and the man's wife is from akwa ibom...

I do not support anyone. Calling her family and friends won't solve anything, is your friend now ready to pay the dowry? If the lady was your sister, would you have allowed her stay with a man who has refused to do the proper thing?

I do understand you,cos I myself did a little traditional wedding for my wife,,but what is hurting me the most is that she went for a legally married man from her tribe,while she knows that the man is legally married to an akwa ibom woman who has children for him,,must she becomes a prostitute or an adulterous woman simply because a man has not paid her bride price,must she pay the man back with following a married man,,where is the Christian virtue in that? And the man has already made up his mind to do it,but with what she has done,,even me I will not accept her back,

ctbhola:
I do understand you,cos I myself did a little traditional wedding for my wife,,but what is hurting me the most is that she went for a legally married man from her tribe,while she knows that the man is legally married to an akwa ibom woman who has children for him,,must she becomes a prostitute or an adulterous woman simply because a man has not paid her bride price,must she pay the man back with following a married man,,where is the Christian virtue in that? And the man has already made up his mind to do it,but with what she has done,,even me I will not accept her back,

You and your friend are hypocrites

Where was the thought of Christian virtue when he was nacking and impregnating her not once, twice or thrice but five times.

You people are lucky that the God we serve is merciful if not, it's from 'your friend' that the condemnation is supposed to start.

Stop that hypocritical statements,, if God was not with them,he would not have giving them six children and one died,,,,,,I even remember that this said woman her mother almost spent two years with her daughter in that man's house at lawanson odo eran in itire....so where is the bad thing there,, where the mother knows about her daughter relationship?

ctbhola:
I do understand you,cos I myself did a little traditional wedding for my wife,,but what is hurting me the most is that she went for a legally married man from her tribe,while she knows that the man is legally married to an akwa ibom woman who has children for him,,must she becomes a prostitute or an adulterous woman simply because a man has not paid her bride price,must she pay the man back with following a married man,,where is the Christian virtue in that? And the man has already made up his mind to do it,but with what she has done,,even me I will not accept her back,

1) They are not married so it is not adultery
2) Christian virtue after living in sin (fornication) ?
3) Why do you keep laying emphasis on the akwa ibom wife? If the man's wife were from Urhobo would it be better?
4) The man cheated on her when he has not paid her bride price and you want her to remain?

God forbid that I marry an urhobo woman,,,they are very cunning and selfish and also wicked.following an already married man after six children. TUFIAKWA

Am angry very very angry,, after Sixxxxxxxx children from a man for twenty years,,,,,what does she want to born or deliver again Women especially urohobo women fear them pass coronavirus

Sorry dude....you and that friend of yours are batshit crazy

ctbhola:
God forbid that I marry an urhobo woman,,,they are very cunning and selfish and also wicked.following an already married man after six children. TUFIAKWA

Chief relax, Urhobo ladies aren't wicked and selfish, you are going tribal.

ctbhola:
Dear NAIRALANDERS, this note could be long but I will still make it brief concerning a very close friend of mine who is troubled with a family issues.

This my friend back twenty years ago meet a lady,an urohobo lady,they started dating, and eventually the lady got pregnant and delivered a first child who should be eighteen by next month,,and after that they had five more children making six but one died later making the children now five (3boys and 2girls)

The problem this my friend is having now is that the woman has left him for another urohbo man because this my friend did not pay her dowry,,,and this said man that this my friend wife followed is a married man with children, but according to my finding this man's wife is from akwa ibom.

Now this my friend has tried to pursued her to reconcile back for the sake of the children, but the woman refused, the man tried all avenue of people to intercede on his behalf but the woman said no,,,this my friend even called the pastor of her church,,, and even his own family to beg her,but she refused.

This my friend initially made a mistake of cheating on his wife first due to his wife troublesome behavior, so he now found a side chick, but when the woman found out,and seeing that after all the man has not paid her dowry also went a LovePeddler too.(but the reason this my friend gave me was that the parents of this is wife were also divorced too and they are not in Lagos,and this his wife does not want to see his father.

So friends, what should this my friend do now,,should he continue to beg her or finally call it quit?? There was a day this my friend showed me the his wife's man friend at lawanson Cole street,,,,,,,, but to me I told this my friend to move on with his life,,,,as long as the man has rented an apartment for her and have been moving together for four years now...

So pls give my friend an advice,,cos he need it .

What took you almost twenty year not to pay a bride price of a lady that have five children for you

When a woman's fed up... There ain't nothing you can do about it... Just tell that your friend to move on... And wait, did she leave her kids?

The way the thing is paining OP you would think the thing happened to him .....

You cheat, wife vex leave you. As she was leaving she remembered that you had not even paid bride price so her leaving was unhindered...
And I don't know why you and your friend think you are more righteous than her. At least she left the husband first before following her married man unlike her husband who deceived her and had a side chick...The issue is sorted out na...let the husband marry the side chick na...

Efewestern:


I do not support anyone. Calling her family and friends won't solve anything, is your friend now ready to pay the dowry? If the lady was your sister, would you have allowed her stay with a man who has refused to do the proper thing?

But you know this kind of behaviour is very common amongst the Urhobos.
Very bad behaviour...

PrimadonnaO:


But you know this kind of behaviour is very common amongst the Urhobos.
Very bad behaviour...

What behavior are you referring to? The woman cheating? or the woman refusing to accept the plea of her husband?

If you are referring to the cheating part, the woman never cheated, she walked out of that scam called marriage, who she dates is none of OP's business.

After sixxxx children Wetin she ean go born to an already married man with children? Una woman worse pass Jezebel.

ctbhola:
After sixxxx children Wetin she ean go born to an already married man with children? Una woman worse pass Jezebel.

What's your business with whether she has more children or not with her new lover?
Let her old lover lick his wounds and move on pls. He can equally marry his side chick now.
Afterall, he can have any woman he wants . Woman plenty outside na.

Efewestern:


What behavior are you referring to? The woman cheating? or the woman refusing to accept the plea of her husband?

If you are referring to the cheating part, the woman never cheated, she walked out of that scam called marriage, who she dates is none of OP's business.

The behaviour where a man and a woman are living together like husband and wife with lots of children but no official payment of bride price...

PrimadonnaO:


The behaviour where a man and a woman are living together like husband and wife with lots of children but no official payment of bride price...

If happens with ladies from all tribes, Yoruba, Igbo, Bini, itsekiri etc. The reason you noticed that of Urhobo was maybe because you stayed in Urhobo land.

I have seen many similar cases with ladies who aren't Urhobo, so this your statement holds no water.