funmisticqueen2:
frankly, I don't see the problem. At least the husband does all the house chores and is content with doing all that. He is making a contribution rather than sitting doing nothing. He doesn't want to do the man's job of providing for his family. She should calm down and be the breadwinner, let the man be a househusband m

As she made her bed, let her lie on it.

She decided to marry someone below her educational status, she decided to marry someone who talks with women all day. I will not be surprised if this husband was raised by a single mum. She married down, instead of marrying up, how can someone below you lead your family.

The truth is that your sister married an effeminate hobosexual who will rather let a woman feed him. Let him rest in his feminine while your sister rests in her masculine.

If I were the sister, I would leave the husband in charge of the grinding machine and akara business (not ownership o). He must make a certain percentage and bring home every week after expenses, he is then free to spend the rest of the profit himself. It's a feminine jobs but he seems up to task.

u ar absolutely right, he was raised by a single mum, his father died when he was young of age, his father was rich in d olden days, all of my sister's husband siblings are educated and are doing good, he is the only male child and the only uneducated among them all

It is not ego at all but a kind of laziness. I saw this type of laziness clearly with a man who has two cars, he uses non for business except to run errands for his wife who does food business. He assist her truly with the business but y'all know how better their finances would be if he gave someone one of the cars or at least uses it for uber. Then I payed attention to the way he assist the wife and I saw even though he is helping, most of his work in the kitchen is mere busy body because he can't handle the kitchen work efficiently like the wife plus there is this limit to what a man can do in the kitchen before the public as far as our society is concerned. At the end of the day bulk burden is on the woman who is now looking way older than the man from too much stress.

Some people are naturally laid back, if you don't push them to get on the road they don't seem to know how to pull themselves up when they lie flat on the ground but can do very well when they are helped up. I can bet someone helped him with his first job.

What your sister need to do now is to expand the grinding business for him and let him man it with the way someone already suggested on managing the finance. Because if he is left alone he won't just pick himself up.

More importantly now, your sister should watch out for which of her kids is laid back like the dad because that is where his mum failed. He can do chores because he was assisting his mum and she was comfortable with just that, today that is all he can offer because his hustling spirit doesn't switch on its own. She would have pushed him to do those chores and hustling young boys starts with especially outside the home. So this is what your sister should look for and start doing early else history will repeat itself. Early traits to look out for in these set of lazy People is that they like doing things at their own time which is usually late, they stay indoors too much, they rise up late etc let your sister maximize the little he can do because there exist the ones that are altogether useless.

namiji2598:
u ar absolutely right, he was raised by a single mum, his father died when he was young of age, his father was rich in d olden days, all of my sister's husband siblings are educated and are doing good, he is the only male child and the only uneducated among them all

he grew up without a father figure and saw his mum doing everything. It only makes sense that he would expect the same from his wife.


That is the thing about single parent households. It messes the psyche of growing children, especially the boys.

namiji2598:
u ar absolutely right, he was raised by a single mum, his father died when he was young of age, his father was rich in d olden days, all of my sister's husband siblings are educated and are doing good, he is the only male child and the only uneducated among them all

he grew up without a father figure and saw his mum doing everything. It only makes sense that he would expect the same from his wife.


That is the thing about single parent households. It messes the psyche of growing children, especially the boys.

The thing with these kind of marriages is that the woman will snap one day. They always do.

namiji2598:


but this same man that is feeling too big, can operate a grinding machine freely when no body is at home, cos when my sis goes to office and I goes to school, and customers comes looking, he did the grinding for them in front of everybody, with no Shame or ego

The more you write the more you're stuffing your foot in your mouth. The man is too big to do Uber..... that painted him to be a man full of pride.... and here you are saying the opposite. All that you said above is different from the picture you first painted that he is lazy. What exactly is your problem with him? Is it because he has no regular job to go to everyday?... as in a 9to5 or UBer? Is it you are the one suffering from pride because if asked... you cannot say your brother in law is employed in a field on the same level as you and your successful educated family members?.. that his unemployed status is hurting the family pride? That's what I'm reading between the lines.
Your sister is going through financial hardships.... are you not contributing to it? How much do you contribute to the family?.... is that more than the amount you would pay if you are on your own? If not... breaking news... you are part of the problem. The husband was working.... they could've afforded you then ... but not after he lost his job. The house is big enough for all of you.... really?... so why should you leave is what you're implying? Three years you've been staying there... with no end in sight. Did it ever occur to you that your sister is hinting that you move on? On your own.... you should be looking to move on. Where is your bf?... where is your fiance? ... you are pretty much a refugee.... humbly accept their willingness to harbor you and stop trying to meddle in their domestic affair. The time spent on trying to undermine their marriage can be better spent trying to upgrade your English to that expected of a teacher. Let your sister and her husband be.

He needs a push via encouragement. He needs to be motivated ecpecially by someone he respects a lot.
His mum and his wife can do this together and see him Hu gry to provide for his family.

Also your sis should step back a bit in the area of providing things especially the ones that Will embarrass him sort of. Eg delay paying the rent or school fees late while directing them to the husband to see his rxn.

funmisticqueen2:
frankly, I don't see the problem. At least the husband does all the house chores and is content with doing all that. He is making a contribution rather than sitting doing nothing. He doesn't want to do the man's job of providing for his family. She should calm down and be the breadwinner, let the man be a househusband m

As she made her bed, let her lie on it.

She decided to marry someone below her educational status, she decided to marry someone who talks with women all day. I will not be surprised if this husband was raised by a single mum. She married down, instead of marrying up, how can someone below you lead your family.

The truth is that your sister married an effeminate hobosexual who will rather let a woman feed him. Let him rest in his feminine while your sister rests in her masculine.

If I were the sister, I would leave the husband in charge of the grinding machine and akara business (not ownership o). He must make a certain percentage and bring home every week after expenses, he is then free to spend the rest of the profit himself. It's a feminine jobs but he seems up to task.

You sound so mean though, but you get sense!

funmisticqueen2:
frankly, I don't see the problem. At least the husband does all the house chores and is content with doing all that. He is making a contribution rather than sitting doing nothing. He doesn't want to do the man's job of providing for his family. She should calm down and be the breadwinner, let the man be a househusband m

As she made her bed, let her lie on it.

She decided to marry someone below her educational status, she decided to marry someone who talks with women all day. I will not be surprised if this husband was raised by a single mum. She married down, instead of marrying up, how can someone below you lead your family.

The truth is that your sister married an effeminate hobosexual who will rather let a woman feed him. Let him rest in his feminine while your sister rests in her masculine.

If I were the sister, I would leave the husband in charge of the grinding machine and akara business (not ownership o). He must make a certain percentage and bring home every week after expenses, he is then free to spend the rest of the profit himself. It's a feminine jobs but he seems up to task.

GHoJes:
It is not ego at all but a kind of laziness. I saw this type of laziness clearly with a man who has two cars, he uses non for business except to run errands for his wife who does food business. He assist her truly with the business but y'all know how better their finances would be if he gave someone one of the cars or at least uses it for uber. Then I payed attention to the way he assist the wife and I saw even though he is helping, most of his work in the kitchen is mere busy body because he can't handle the kitchen work efficiently like the wife plus there is this limit to what a man can do in the kitchen before the public as far as our society is concerned. At the end of the day bulk burden is on the woman who is now looking way older than the man from too much stress.

Some people are naturally laid back, if you don't push them to get on the road they don't seem to know how to pull themselves up when they lie flat on the ground but can do very well when they are helped up. I can bet someone helped him with his first job.

What your sister need to do now is to expand the grinding business for him and let him man it with the way someone already suggested on managing the finance. Because if he is left alone he won't just pick himself up.

More importantly now, your sister should watch out for which of her kids is laid back like the dad because that is where his mum failed. He can do chores because he was assisting his mum and she was comfortable with just that, today that is all he can offer because his hustling spirit doesn't switch on its own. She would have pushed him to do those chores and hustling young boys starts with especially outside the home. So this is what your sister should look for and start doing early else history will repeat itself. Early traits to look out for in these set of lazy People is that they like doing things at their own time which is usually late, they stay indoors too much, they rise up late etc let your sister maximize the little he can do because there exist the ones that are altogether useless.

Well put.

namiji2598:
u ar absolutely right, he was raised by a single mum, his father died when he was young of age, his father was rich in d olden days, all of my sister's husband siblings are educated and are doing good, he is the only male child and the only uneducated among them all

Boy you have been in that house for 3 years or more sef. Are you not going to go hustle for yourself and get a apartment. Leave their marriage and go hustle your own. You are actually the problem as you are a extra mouth to feed.

You just sit down day analyze another man marriage when you cannot even boast of 10k on your own. You could as well join Boko Haram if you are that jobless

Goodgod213:


Boy you have been in that house for 3 years or more sef. Are you not going to go hustle for yourself and get a apartment. Leave their marriage and go hustle your own. You are actually the problem as you are a extra mouth to feed.

You just sit down day analyze another man marriage when you cannot even boast of 10k on your own. You could as well join Boko Haram if you are that jobless

some people self sha, oya u wey get the 10k dash me na.

namiji2598:
some people self sha, oya u wey get the 10k dash me na.

Why will I give a northerner 10k when your brother is the president of the country and you are sitting down with your Android discussing your sister marriage to the WORLD

Goodgod213:


Why will I give a northerner 10k when your brother is the president of the country and you are sitting down with your Android discussing your sister marriage to the WORLD

Bros I have almost a million naira in my account, me staying in their house is because the husband and kids asked me to. I am a gambler, I was into forex among others during my service year. I am not saying I have achieved anything, or I am better than u in anyway but biko STFU

NeoWanZaeed:
Is your sister complaining?

Why must you bring your family matters to NL?


So many stupid decision these days

lol i thought this was the family section?

shege45:
lol i thought this was the family section?

And does that mean to be divulging about stuffs that doesn't concern you.

Wetin concern you with wetin no concern you

Why are people saying OP should mind his business?
Nairaland is free for all, if you don't like the topic then jump am pass
You people are just angry that a man is being criticized and woman getting praise.

NeoWanZaeed:


And does that mean to be divulging about stuffs that doesn't concern you.

Wetin concern you with wetin no concern you

bro this is a faceless forum, no one knows anyone facial unless you want to be know . Calm down, na wetin they make this page go on. If you do not like it, check another story

namiji2598:
Good evening NL family, i am a fresh graduate looking for job and since they base in kano, I decided to stay with them considering the fact that kano is more industrialized than bauchi
My sister met her husband during her ND days in bauchi and they started dating, after her ND she started teaching in a private school before she can continue with her education, she had a computer shop back then as she teach, she was an ND holder and her boyfriend was a SSCE holder, who all he does was jus to drink alcohol to stupor, he always comes to our house and stay till evening and gist with my mum, so my sister and everyone else considered him a good man. After few years of dating my sister got pregnant for him, she gave birth and after breastfeeding her child, she finished up her HND program in poly bauchi.shortly after her HND she got a job with National industrial court of Nigeria kano division and she and her boyfriend relocated to bauchi. He is good in driving since his father was among the few rich men back then in the says, so he got a driving license for himself and started driving for a company as they settled here in kano, they got married and had their second child, and after everything they decided to enter contributions of which after they park the contribution my sister suggested they build a shop in the village for renting but the husband refused and decided they buy a car with the money, I was doing my NYSC then of which she even told me abt it, but I told her if that's what her husband wants let them buy the car.
Fast forward after buying the car, they had not yet finished the contribution then her Husband lost his job, after loosing his job, my sister told him to start using the car for uber, but he refused as he feels too big for it, nevertheless before they bought the car, my sister already have a grinding machine and some few shop for akara, she employed a woman to be doing the akara for her as she take care of her job and the grinding machine. As of now, this man is still staying at home jobless, while my sister struggles to feed the family, pay the children fees and sometimes he even steal her money to buy recharge card and be chatting on social media
One faithful day my sister begged him to please consider the situations at hand and at least try to use the car to help her and he agreed, he took the car, she fueled it for him and he take his way straight to bauchi and told him mum that my sister is disrespecting him jus because he loose hi job, his mum called my sister and my sister explained the real truth for her and the mum chases him away telling him to go and take care of his family first, she gave him 10k to fuel his car, he used the Money for fuel and did not even picked a single persenger on his way to kano, he told her these things himself as he boast of being a big man driving alone in his car. This same man can even fetch water for the whole house when the water system is having a problem, he washes plate, children's cloth among others
I can't write all I have experienced in this house, but these are jus the very few I can write
Please nairalanders, how can I help in this kind of situation,I am jus a teacher in a private school as I keep looking up for a good job
Please oga lalasticala



Lalasticala help me push it to FP

To me, he is a domestic man which women loves

If only he can drop his ego and help at home

That car will still cause trouble at home

Your sister should start using the car for her own self if he will allow it

Better still, sell the car and buy a land with the proceed