she is trying to change who i am,

Wify tells me not to do something and does exactly the same thing.

Ofido:

Story Time and time to laugh till mama calls, After all i do not ve a girlfriend neither do i ve a wife. Or do i tell wat i dislike in Freetobacoa(freecocoa) and Ujujuan, my girlfriend and wifey respectively.

And where is mrs eve.

*rooooollz eyez*

Na wa for you women o!

When a man snores, you complain. When he choose to express himself through the other outlet behind, you still complain.  

All you are revealing are what is called "secrets". Once you get married you receive the whole package. "What you have is what you get" period.

So long as he doesn't do it outside, or get you embarrassed when with friends, let him be.

y'all is really crackin me and my guys offshore at d rig up,we don laff tire here,una try.fr me
1-my wife will delay no mata hw hard u tryt o speed her up for an event of 6p.m,u hv must begin to mak her get ready from 2p.m ooo otherwise no way.
2-she cant remember anythin,she will remind me i am an efiko back in school days so i should hv everythin in my head dat God made her from my ribs so i am better only in terms of wahala sha oooo
3-she will go late to d ariport.dis one is one attitude dat can neva stop,hv come to live wit it and she can forget travellin papers even for d kids

you all are Lovely as I can't stop laughing in the office. what a good way to start my day, especially chaircover.
Anyway,
1) she is always complaing of me throwing my shirts around. at least I do that if only she is around cos I like to see her complain about minor issues around the house. If I dont do that she will start telling me how she bargained to buy in a store today and how her colleague didi this and that.

2) she takes a lot of time to prepare the buggy whenever we re going out. i hate buggies in London. they can make u late for interview.

Mi hubby sneezes a lot but what makes it annoying is the fact that he sneezes into his palm and he is calling u for a hug,

I hate "people pleaser" *yuck* Mi hubbi should have dat award

Currently single but i had an ex who:

1. Was perfectly comfortable leaving dirty pots and dishes in the sink for days on end

2. 80% of the time never flushed completely after taking a dump in my toilet, she would just cover up the toilet seat only for me to come back and find my toilet in a mess when i want to use it.

Needless to say she did not last long.

ROFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO God the poster above me have finished me oh God my side.

I guess that's why i had to bolt
1. She has this habit of showing me off like a priced possession--damn it can be really frustrating coming home and she has 15 of her friends in my bedroom and 20 in my parlour,7 in my spare room, i end up driving round town dropping all of them off, and its d same thing taking her out there must be like 5 sidekicks.
2.I'm an African man for goodness sake and i like eba and u better fill up my plates cus i enjoy my meals, but she always and always prepares one tiny morsel for me and no eba say's twice a week for eba is Ok, came back home one day from work very hungry and met a plate of vegetable and fruits, damn i wan mad
3. She believes quarrelling with ur guy is very very okay and healthy for any relationship, so she picks it up with me for every damn reason, i had to run off

@Mr. Cork, she quit wearin pant .

---------------------------------------------

Baba egbe ni bobo yi sa. lol.

Dont get me wrong my wife is a very very good cook but I hate it when she hav 2 ask me what I want 2 eat all d time so she can cook and I also hate d fact tht I hav 2 get home b4 she starts cooking, her excuse she wants me eating fresh n warm, wht is d warmer there 4.

She hates d facts tht I like playin PS3 (football) and she then comes up with d philosophy tht I'm 2 old 4 it hence she brings up a subject 2 distract my attention so she can complain tht I wasnt paying attention 2 her. it so annoying wht manner of man doesnt play game dis time n age 2 unwind.

Another one she does is bn defensive even when she knows she was wrong, she hardly admits guilt right away but after I get angry she begs 2 say she was sorry, I guess she likes winding me up a bit (always d first 2 say sorry even when she wasnt d one at fault at times, I guess tht strengthens d fabric of our marriage) I love her so dearly.

If he was 2 complain about me, he would say:

Habit 1,
My mobile phone is a landline. He will call all my phones, no answer. 2 hrs later, I will call back dat I saw his missed call. Its always upsetting him n I av really tried 2 change but d spirit is willing but d flesh is weak. Cos of my habit of dropping my phone in odd places n forgetting it, I av gone thru 3 phones in d last 4 months! Once, I forgot it at an eatery. The security ran after us 2 give it 2 me. I felt so ashamed.

Habit 2
I av d habit of pushing his face away when he is sleeping. I can wake him up several times in d night 4 him 2 adjust cos of his snoring. In d morning, he will say in Igbo, I shld ask 4 half price on d bride price I paid on ur head. Allow ur husband 2 snore na. We will both laugh but sometimes we both don't find it funny.

Habit 3
I like wearing d barest minimum of clothing at home. It annoys him dat i don't check 2 see if d curtains r closed. Not like I purposely expose myself but breeze blows d curtains open. I don't check dem every 10mins like he does. Once he sees even a small parting, its  time 4 one of his famous lectures. I am lucky if I get 'd lecture' twice or three times in a day.

is he has this disgusting habit of farting in bed when we are under the covers. The worse part is the farts smell toxic and can be categorized as WOMD (weapon of mass destruction). Can you imagine being in a deep sleep and having a beautiful dream and the next second you are gagging, eyes buring, nostrils on fire and then running out of the room and then not able to go back into room becos even after 1 hour, the smell is still lingering. My husband finds it so amusing while i'm calling him all kinds of names in igbo yoruba and hausa

geez, i had a good laugh 1st thing in the morning about this post.

ihejirika:

She will she her nails to the extent that half of the nail is gone, sometime she cause her fingers to bleed during chewing. This makes her fingers look horrible. this makes it difficult for her to fix nails. She unknowing chew it in the public and i always give her sign to stop and she only stop for some time and resume unknowingly

The chewing part especially causing bleeding could be a lingering internal/esteem issue, I witnessed this 1st hand while growing up and into adult stage, it took donkey years and serious intervention  before my cousin's self worth was improved upon and he desisted from such.

SanFranc:

Wifey is so fond of going around the house in pant and bra and when I seek to find, she is like "can't you take your eyes off abi na food"?

, oh my, wish mine would do same

doctorT:

Infact am laughing already,  Very funny, I will come back after one week to have any discussion as am planning to sign the dotted lines next week,  lol

hey Doc, nice one, happy married life, we are waiting for your list too  

I cant comprehensively list out hers cos we are not bunking together but the following are her sins:

*she has an annoying attitude of constantly pinching me(not like caressing but pinch, remove her hand, pinch, remove her hand thingy) during conversations. The message she passes across is like ''you are not paying attention  and dont understand what am saying'', . I have this believe that my IQ is higher than hers and i detest that action of hers

*she has this habit of prancing around the house with shoes depositing sands all over the floor, i like walking bare foot at home and feeling the effect of the cool marble, feeling sand under my feet drives me mad, I have repeatedly begged her but she will stop and start all over again, I occasionally vacuum the floor in her presence to register my annoyance but she pretends she's not bothered.

*well, this one is somehow, during bleeping, she just shuts her eyes and does nothing, no initiative, i get disgusted somehow and have repeatedly had wild bleeps with some other you-know-what.  i hope she improves  


I have my own too, i'll get her to tell me then i'll come post it

Wifey is so fond of going around the house in pant and bra and when I seek to find, she is like "can't you take your eyes off abi na food"?

OMG!

Mine seems the worst case. My husband still bed wet uptil now. Have tried everything to no avail. Friends told me it has some advantges since he would be reluctant to sleep with women outside. Could this be true?

@@@@ Anyway, Recently we got to our bank in the UK  one morning to discover  that our account had been wiped out . A few days later we received a call from a friend who told us the same thing has happened to them. She directed us to a blog to read part of what is happening  and that these latest  techniques  were  written in details in a new e-book, which we got  immediately through  this site  http://www.african-mafia.com  While most of  the  fraud schemes specifically target the Europeans  and America, the chilling revelation contained in Chapter 4 pages 50 to 62 alone is worth hundreds of thousands dollars, rather thousand times the price of this book to Asians,   Arabs  and Africans in Diaspora,  or  professionals, retired military officers, business men and  of course politicians, who operate oversea accounts, or own stocks, properties and insurance abroad. You   Learn from the confessions  of a  veteran and specialist fraudster - How they rob Online shoppers, social networks, sell  other  peoples properties, skim bank accounts and credit cards,  even  ATMs.  And this is only a tip of the iceberg from the book.   It was incredible and we wished we had read that book   earlier.  Inform   families   and   friends about  this, Never again will anybody be so screwed like us,.   Never again will anybody be so screwed like us,.

rokiatu:

ROFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO God the poster above me have finished me oh God my side.

Its funny now but then i was so pissed. There was a day i was at home and she went to use the bathroom and i asked her if she flushed properly she said yes. Only for me to go 30 minutes later to find a mess.

1. It can be freaky sickly each time my huby uses the loo without flushing and this is done on a daily basis.
2. He is an extreme case of a disorganised soul- everything around him is SCATTERED!
3. He eats like a beast - soup stains evrywhere - very irritating!
4. Not a planner - just about everything is done by me or things will go wrong.
5. Responsibility is his enemy, hates it with a passion.
6. Likes to 'do' at the wrongest times, especially when I'm rushing for work.

So many my people, but me i no wan die early, have long moved to my own room - though he stil comes der wen am at work to scatter o, but i dont spare him with my tongue!

babasoty:

I guess that's why i had to bolt
1. She has this habit of showing me off like a priced possession--damn it can be really frustrating coming home and she has 15 of her friends in my bedroom and 20 in my parlour,7 in my spare room, i end up driving round town dropping all of them off, and its d same thing taking her out there must be like 5 sidekicks.
[b]2.I'm an African man for goodness sake and i like eba and u better fill up my plates cus i enjoy my meals, but she always and always prepares one tiny morsel for me and no eba say's twice a week for eba is Ok, came back home one day from work very hungry and met a plate of vegetable and fruits, damn i wan mad[/b]3. She believes quarrelling with your guy is very very okay and healthy for any relationship, so she picks it up with me for every damn reason, i had to run off

@ the bolded

u are very funny. i feel you.

loool
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Mine! So sensitive - wants to please her in-laws to a fault! Ha! I don't like it at all.

ping pong:

Wify tells me not to do something and does exactly the same thing.

Best post in all, Virtually all women are so fond of this

This is the funniest and most interesting thread i have read here on NL in a long time. At least a way to unwind.

My supposed chick has eventually turned to only my business partner now. Relationship ended, business is the focus now.

Her habits:

1. Believes in combining xtianity with visiting fortune tellers (ALFA). Believes a combination of both is the way forward. I vex die.
2. Snores in bed like a toad, i told her jokingly once, but it wasnt worth quarelling about. Snoring is not intentional, its nature. I no dey quarrel.

I love this thread.

love shouting whenever we are discussing serious issue, sometimes it makes me feel shy

I dont discuss my afairs online. I rather discuss it with my spouse

omamokta:

I dont discuss my afairs online. I rather discuss it with my spouse

So what are you doing here then

Why don't you leave the likes of us who are to 'scared' to discuss it with out spouses to air our 'dirty linens in the public'!

_{People really need to lighten up!}   SHM!

I thought marriage was for better for worse!

So stop moaning people

u ppl ve not seen anything yet,, still writting down my story,, but i guess i wont get thru for now, maybe next week

Ujujoan:

So what are you doing here then

Why don't you leave the likes of us who are to 'scared' to discuss it with out spouses to air our 'dirty linens in the public'!

_{People really need to lighten up!}   SHM!

Vintage Uju

bababuff:


So long as he doesn't do it outside, or get you embarrassed when with friends, let him be.

My husband farts in the supermarket when he thinks nobody is around or when we are alone in an aisle. Funny thing is as soon as the fart escapes and starts smelling, that's when one oyibo family will show up and start looking at us funny . So what i do now is as soon as he farts, i run away from him