nelsoooooo:

Do u think after involving thugs , u stand a better chance in the court room?

yvelchstores:
my dear, I am o. I am ashamed on behalf of others from anambra. What a shame! There are customs we adhere to. There is a way things are done.

CAPSLOCKED:
YOU CAN TAKE ANOTHER WIFE IF YOU WANT, OR ENJOY YOUR BACHELORHOOD. WHEN THE KIDS GROW UP THEY'LL COME LOOKING FOR YOU.
YOUR PERSON IS NOT SERIOUS, DON'T EVEN BOTHER GOING AFTER PEOPLE WHO NEVER WANT TO STAY.

cococandy:


What if he misses his children and wants to live with them?
All these advice that tell men to forget their children and the kids will come looking for them bother me. Honestly speaking.

So he will just miss out on their growing up years like that through no choice of his?

nelsoooooo:
I got married as everyone , we lived a quite life , because I grew up in family that we had enough money but we hardly allow the money to get into us , I have a business that I was doing and I got my wife a shop where she sales groceries . In the neighborhood where we leave , it happens that I had to build our own house in a new settlement and my wife was not doing anything anymore and she said she wanted to go into fahion design and I paid for her to start ,and all of a sudden my own business begin to have problems because of the new place we parked to , my wife after visiting the elder sister that leaves in another state she changed her attitude she no longer wants me to touch her , she talks a.ny how to me , last year December I usually give her #150,000 to shop for her self and the childen but because of the way things I gave her ₦60,000 to manage . She started complaining that I am a poor man that she would leave me and go and stay with the mother , only for me to wake up on 1st Jan she had left the house with the kids and I called her she told me she was not coming back again and I called the mother the mother said it's better she stays with her , I called the elder sis she went visiting the last time , she said it's high time I allow her sister enjoy her self that I have been a blocking stone to her , ppl would want to help her when the find out that she is married they will not want to help her , as it is now I have not called her and she has not even called me it's getting to 2months now pls I need advice from u guys ,should I go ahead and call her or should I just wait .

CAPSLOCKED:


WHAT WAS HER PLAN WHEN SHE LEFT WITH THEM WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE, IF NOT TO INVOLVE THE KIDS IN HER MALICE, SHIELD THEM FROM THEIR DAD, AND RENDER HIM THE ULTIMATE DEADBEAT FATHER?

MAKE SHE SUFFER TRAIN THEM. A MALE CHILD WILL ALWAYS LOOK FOR HIS FATHER WHEN HE GROWS UP.

nelsoooooo:
I got married as everyone , we lived a quite life , because I grew up in family that we had enough money but we hardly allow the money to get into us , I have a business that I was doing and I got my wife a shop where she sales groceries . In the neighborhood where we leave , it happens that I had to build our own house in a new settlement and my wife was not doing anything anymore and she said she wanted to go into fahion design and I paid for her to start ,and all of a sudden my own business begin to have problems because of the new place we parked to , my wife after visiting the elder sister that leaves in another state she changed her attitude she no longer wants me to touch her , she talks a.ny how to me , last year December I usually give her #150,000 to shop for her self and the childen but because of the way things I gave her ₦60,000 to manage . She started complaining that I am a poor man that she would leave me and go and stay with the mother , only for me to wake up on 1st Jan she had left the house with the kids and I called her she told me she was not coming back again and I called the mother the mother said it's better she stays with her , I called the elder sis she went visiting the last time , she said it's high time I allow her sister enjoy her self that I have been a blocking stone to her , ppl would want to help her when the find out that she is married they will not want to help her , as it is now I have not called her and she has not even called me it's getting to 2months now pls I need advice from u guys ,should I go ahead and call her or should I just wait .

Mandelus:

If you need a an advice... Move on with your life, find a lady start dating again for at list 2yrs to no her better.. your wife on her own will bring the kids or the kids will come on their own either now or when matured she married you for money. So move on never accept her because you love her but love your self more. Some would have killed you to get pleasure outside

cococandy:
See what I’m talking about capslocked?

Mandelus:

cococandy:


Her plan is not my concern. Male or female child notwithstanding , what if the man actually wants to spend time with his kids while they are growing up?
I don’t understand that type of advice honestly. And I don’t mean to pick on you specifically, it’s just that I’ve seen it posted one too many times when a mom walks with the kids, the dad is almost unanimously told to not worry about the kids as they will come looking for him when they are grown. and it makes me wonder if there’s any consideration in there for the emotional well-being of the father (or even the kids).

Do the people who post such have kids? If they do, would they be alright with not being in the children’s lives until they are grown? (Again not specifically referring to you) but think about it.

Left to me I’d say fight her and get custody or shared custody of the kids. She can do whatever she wants after with her own personal life.

Mandelus:
ok got your view but frankly speaking there is no need fighting because women go extreme when the want to do things. For her to take them show she is ready to take care of them and the new man if there is can accommodate but in a complicated relationship such as this where from her family everyone needs a richer and are in support of the lady every effort is a waste I know how painful to lose someone you love. Frankly speaking I have...

LadySarah:
Women dey try. As for me I cannot take care of our children alone when my significant other is alive and well.
You must contribute so even if she ran off which was very bad of her should make a way for you to share custody.My kids needs their fathers love too and a partner shouldn't deprive them of that unless the court says it is dangerous.

If what the Op says is true cos we haven't heard from the woman, pray and try to woo her again. I f nothing happens, take your family to go meet hers and work out something.

She will still get tired last last and blame the devil who was minding his biz.

cococandy:


No offense.

Although I should ask. Do you have kids? If yes would you let them come find you when they are grown or would you seek out a way to be in their lives even if their mom is kolomental?

LilMissFavvy:
Just look at the horrible advice men are giving above, if it was a woman who was oppressed by the husband, all the men commenting above would have told her to endure and save her marriage, but since it's a man, they are advising him to divorce her, very partial set of humans who call themselves men. Op, give your wife another chance, atleast for the kids sake, try one more time. If you divorce her, she will only remarry and your kids will suffer the consequences of a broken home. Pity on married folks who take advice here hook, line and sinker! Yet when you all see reports that divorce rate is high in Nigeria, you will feel suprised.

cococandy:
But the kids will remember that their dad didn’t fight for them. It doesn’t matter how much she tries to poison their minds, if they see some effort from him, they will be able to decipher for themselves as they get older that maybe he’s not the terrible person she’s trying to claim he is.

cococandy:


Her plan is not my concern. Male or female child notwithstanding , what if the man actually wants to spend time with his kids while they are growing up?
I don’t understand that type of advice honestly. And I don’t mean to pick on you specifically, it’s just that I’ve seen it posted one too many times when a mom walks with the kids, the dad is almost unanimously told to not worry about the kids as they will come looking for him when they are grown. and it makes me wonder if there’s any consideration in there for the emotional well-being of the father (or even the kids).

Do the people who post such have kids? If they do, would they be alright with not being in the children’s lives until they are grown? (Again not specifically referring to you) but think about it.

Left to me I’d say fight her and get custody or shared custody of the kids. She can do whatever she wants after with her own personal life.

Mandelus:

While I was going through this chat again something enter my mind sir are you sure those kids are your? Have you done any DNA test

cococandy:
See what I’m talking about capslocked?

Mandelus:
ok got your view but frankly speaking there is no need fighting because women go extreme when the want to do things. For her to take them show she is ready to take care of them and the new man if there is can accommodate but in a complicated relationship such as this where from her family everyone needs a richer and are in support of the lady every effort is a waste I know how painful to lose someone you love. Frankly speaking I have...

nelsoooooo:

Thank u very much it seems u get the picture clearly I don't need to fight over the issue , why I brought out this issue is for ppl to help me weigh the options of me calling her or allowing her to be, till after some time I will now involve my family members

CAPSLOCKED:


IN MANY CASES WOMEN ALWAYS HAVE CUSTODY OF THE KIDS ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE NOTHING STRONG AGAINST HER. SHE HAS CROCODILE TEARS AND FALSE ACCUSATIONS AS HER WEAPONS TO GET HOLD OF THE KIDS.
THEN SHE GOES ON TO KEEP POISONING THEIR MINDS ABOUT YOU WHILE ALSO SPOILING YOUR NAME WHEN PEOPLE ASK FOR HER STORY.
MAN NO GO KILL HIMSELF. WHEN THE KIDS GROW UP THEY'LL LOOK FOR THEIR DAD AFTER THE TOUT OF A MOM HAS STRUGGLED HER LIFE TO RAISE THEM.
THIS MAN SHOULD BE ENJOYING HIMSELF BECAUSE HIS KIDS WILL ALWAYS BE SAFE WITH THEIR MOM.

nelsoooooo:

Thank u very much it seems u get the picture clearly I don't need to fight over the issue , why I brought out this issue is for ppl to help me weigh the options of me calling her or allowing her to be, till after some time I will now involve my family members

Mandelus:

Mummy am not the type that fight when I know I will lose hmm. A man must calculate his moves, words, actions before embarking on them.

cococandy:
The only thing these posts make me think is that relationship with the children is not that important to you guys.

That’s probably the reason why some women dare to walk away with the children in the first place. If they know they have a fight coming their way, they wouldn’t dare.

You’re also giving them power to control the narrative.

Just thinking out aloud, With the kind of baby daddy I have, them no born me well to think I can just take the kids and walk. Why do you give up your power so easily? Is it to avoid dealing with the responsibilities?
Who do you think loses in the long run?

Nelsooo stop waiting for time to pass and start loving on your kids now. I’ve said my piece and I wish you well.

yvelchstores:
imagine. I am disappointed!

nelsoooooo:
I got married as everyone , we lived a quite life , because I grew up in family that we had enough money but we hardly allow the money to get into us , I have a business that I was doing and I got my wife a shop where she sales groceries . In the neighborhood where we leave , it happens that I had to build our own house in a new settlement and my wife was not doing anything anymore and she said she wanted to go into fahion design and I paid for her to start ,and all of a sudden my own business begin to have problems because of the new place we parked to , my wife after visiting the elder sister that leaves in another state she changed her attitude she no longer wants me to touch her , she talks a.ny how to me , last year December I usually give her #150,000 to shop for her self and the childen but because of the way things I gave her ₦60,000 to manage . She started complaining that I am a poor man that she would leave me and go and stay with the mother , only for me to wake up on 1st Jan she had left the house with the kids and I called her she told me she was not coming back again and I called the mother the mother said it's better she stays with her , I called the elder sis she went visiting the last time , she said it's high time I allow her sister enjoy her self that I have been a blocking stone to her , ppl would want to help her when the find out that she is married they will not want to help her , as it is now I have not called her and she has not even called me it's getting to 2months now pls I need advice from u guys ,should I go ahead and call her or should I just wait .