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Stats: 2,450,159 members, 5,520,278 topics. Date: Friday, 10 April 2020 at 06:57 AM
|Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 1:14pm On Mar 17|
I was setting up my PlayStation console to enjoy a round of PES 2020 video game. I just had dinner after a hectic workday and had survived another hellish Lagos traffic. The misses had greeted me when I arrived with a warm bowl of chicken soup and that perked right up a bit. Food is always the way to my heart, food and sex. PlayStation, Food and Sex is all a man ever really needs. In no particular order.
I was hoping for a lazy night so I set up the internet connection for the game to try and take back the championship from some skinny Japanese kid; Kubo Yoshi, who took it from me last week. Japanese kids. They don't play when it comes to video games.
That's when she emerged from the bedroom door.
Dressed in that sexy lingerie that I bought after I saw it modelled by some sexy 20 something online. I knew it would be one of the best fifty bucks that I will ever spend this year. Now here it was, moulded onto the body of the hot 32-year-old that I'm married too. The lingerie hugged all the right places and showed just enough to tease and entice me. I was suddenly 2 goals down due to the distraction because Kubo, my online opponent was already out for blood.
But how could I pay attention to anything else when my wife was looking like Gabrielle Union in a thong!? Suddenly, I was anticipating scoring a whole different kind of goals than the one they have in PS4 soccer. She walked on by, slowly...casually. Teasing me as if she dressed like that every night.
Then an alarm bell went off in my brain.
"This woman is up to something chief" my brain cautioned wisely.
"If she has put the kids to bed and she is only focused on pleasing you, instead of watching Zee World; her favourite Indian Soap Opera, then she definitely wants something."
"Hmm, you're right Cerebro." I thought.
"Maybe she wants a chore done; like taking out the trash or something equally disgusting that only you can do."
"Wow," I thought wowed by the wisdom of my own brain.
"The best thing to do...is ignore her. Or else; chores" Cerebro wisely advised.
So I did. I turned back to my game and tried to recover from 4 goals to nil.But then she came beside me and bent over to pick up something. I never even saw what it was. All I saw was that perfectly shaped ass that was in my peripheral vision. Even Beyoncé couldn't be that bootilicious.
"Goal!" and then I was 5 goals down.
"NO! It's a trap! Don't fall for it man!" my brain warned.
"Shut up, Cerebro!" I thought and dropped the control pad to reach out and grab a buttcheek. She giggled and turned around to push my hand away.
"Do you like what you see?" she asked teasing.
"Ooh, daddy likes it. Daddy likey very well." I cooed and grabbed her, butts and all to land her on my laps. She giggled. And giggled even more as I playfully began to tickle her everywhere.
"Oh stop, stooopppp...the kids will wake up...stop...I’m serious, she said in between guffaws. I stopped and said
"Good. Then maybe it’s time for mummy and daddy to get to bed too." I lifted her up and began carrying her to the bedroom.
The tv speakers screamed and my gamepad began to vibrate on the table. A notification that Kubo Yoshi had scored another one. I was now down 0 - 6 goals in the first fifteen minutes of the game alone. That was fine though. I would be scoring different goals in the bedroom tonight. While Kubo will probably be a virgin till 40.
In the bedroom and I launched her on the bed and began undoing my pants zipper when she said;
"You know what dear? Before we get started how about you do me one quick favour?"
Instantaneously, my erection lost rigidity. I had been conned! I was about enjoying my video game and this woman just came in and seduced me for a chore!
"MTCHEW!" I hissed. "I'm busy!" I said gruffly and proceeded to get back to my game. Hopefully, Kubo wouldn't have up to 10 goals by now but I doubt it and zipped up my pants on the way.
"Told ya!" my brain said.
"Shut up, Cerebro!."
I thought to myself again and sat back down on the couch to continue my game.
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 12:54pm On Mar 18|
It's a short story!
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by DaddyMorenike: 1:02pm On Mar 18|
Kubo don flog this one pieces.
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 1:41pm On Mar 18|
Lol. Japanese kids don't play when it comes to games.
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by Tapout(m): 8:32am On Mar 19|
still wondering what figure of speech is that
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 8:42am On Mar 19|
Hope you're enjoying this new one?
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 8:44am On Mar 19|
Lol. It is punhumour intended.
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 9:09am On Mar 19|
"MTCHEW!" I hissed.
"I'm busy!" I said gruffly and proceeded to get back to my game.
Hopefully, Kubo wouldn't have up to 10 goals by now but I doubt it. I zipped up my pants went back to my favorite spot on the couch.
"Told ya!" my brain said.
"Shut up, Cerebro!."
I thought again and picked up my game controller pad to continue my game. Then I saw the score: 0 - 32.
THIRTY TWO GOALS TO NOTHING!?
What is wrong with this boy
I paused the game and sent him a text in the PS chat forum.
"What's the matter with you? Didn't you realise that I wasn't online, aren't you supposed to be smart?"
Kubo Yoshi is a genius 16-year-old studying robotics engineering at KIT (Kyoto Institute of Technology, Japan).
"I don't pause. Master Yoshi play to DESTROY." he responded.
"Something is wrong with this boy o" I thought. "Why is he talking like this is the freaking Game of Thrones?"
The score was especially painful because I was 32 years old. Kubo scored a goal for every single year of my life! And I was feeling a little sexually frustrated, my balls were getting blue. So I sent him a voice note.
"Kubo Yoshi!? You need to stop acting like games are real life? You know what your problem is? You don't have a girlfriend. You spend all your time playing with either your robots or games and you don't have any woman making your life miserable for no good reason. Get one. And I don't mean Lara Croft or any other female game characters. Get a life. You rascal!"
I had already hit "send" before I regretted saying all that I did. Kubo was just 16 for God's sake! Why did I have to load that on on him? Anyway, hopefully, he will get some kind of friend in his life and eventually get married to a woman. Instead of ending like some dudes who marry cartoon characters.
I was about to type an apology to Yoshi when she came out after me. She had put on a robe to cover up the lingerie and she had a fire in her eyes.
"Are you not ashamed of yourself? I have been working all morning, taking care of the house and your kids and you can't even do me one small favour."
"I'm tired!" I said, "I have been working all day as well."
"That's always your excuse!" She was right of course but it was my best excuse and I will be using it for as long as I could to escape household chores.
"Dammit, I was now down 34 goals to nil."
"I will do it in the weekend," I said
"I will do it in the weekend” she said mimicking me. "That's another one of your excuses because you never do anything on the weekends."
"Ah ah what is your problem now?" I asked defiantly knowing full well that she was right.
"I just want a favour." she screamed.
I sat pouting. Not answering her. Unmoving.
She had hurt my feelings and I was not going to do anything for her even though she was right about me being lazy these past few months. She became silent too.
She stood there watching me for a bit and then went back inside the bedroom. I had made up my mind. I wasn't going anywhere or do anything for her this night.
Then she emerged from the bedroom. She still had on the bathrobe but underneath was that same old lingerie because she had loosened to robe slightly enough to show the top half of the lingerie. Didn't matter though, because the effects of that sexy underwear of hers was not affecting my stubborn brain one bit.
Then she moved closer. And I detected a faint smell of Kesher; The New Fragrance by Kesher. It was the perfume I bought for her on the island when I found that the fragrance was strangely arousing to me. I instructed her to wear it anytime I came home but she refused. Something about being too tired for sex every night or that the fragrance makes her nose run, couldn't remember the excuse right now.
But now, she had launched it just to woo me into serving her. No way! So I turned my head away and focused on my game. She came closer.
"Dear, it's not fair you know. I have to beg you anytime I need a favour." she said stroking my hair and then my nose. So I wrinkled it and moved away. The Kesher fragrance was beginning to take effect. My boxer shorts were already getting tighter from my rocket's lift-off.
"Dammit! WHO MADE THAT PERFUME SO SEXY?!" I thought and shifted in my seat to the end of the couch and muttered a prayer under my breath.
"Lord, give me strength!
She walked closer, gliding in her steps like a wind rider and the image of Toni Braxton in her "Breathe Again" music video came up and began playing in my head.
I was losing this battle of resistance and I knew it. It was only a matter of time. She got closer and then stroked my left nipple. Low blow!
"Ahn!!" I gasped. And my rocket saluted down below.
My nipples. My little man titties were my Achilles heel. If I wasn't in the mood for sex, stroking them is instant arousal for me. Even if I was sleeping on my tummy, all she ever had to do was reach underneath and we would be scattering the sheets in 2 minutes. That was it! The battle was lost! It was the Alamo up in here. Total surrender! So I grabbed her by the ass and landed her in my lap to begin that deep kissing that she liked so much.
"Dear, would you do me that favour now?" she murmured.
"I would do anything for you." I sang back like a teenager in a boyband singing lyrics to a love song.
"Great!" she said. And jumped off of my throbbing rocket launcher. She went to pick up a box that she'd been hiding behind the couch for God knows how long. And I sighed in frustration. I could never win back the championship with this kind of defeat anyway so I got up and muttered:
"When a woman wants something..."
She smiled and brought the box closer and lo and behold it was full of her old panties.
"Eww." I said grossed out "Get those things away from me!"
"Why?" she challenged "does my underwear gross you out?"
"No," I said, wisely avoiding the trap.
"Good, because I have had to deal with your underwear ever since we got married. I don't think you have ever had to wash a single dirty brief or boxer short in five years now, have you?"
"No. But do you want me to do your laundry now?" I asked in disbelief.
"No," she said and I sighed in relief "I want you to burn them."
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 9:37am On Mar 20|
It's like you guys are not feeling this story, eyya.
What can I do now?
I still have to finish what I started.
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 1:00pm On Mar 22|
"I don't use them anymore."
"So, why can't you dispose of them in the trash like normal people?"
"Because of all these Yahoo internet fraudster boys. They are using female panties to make charms to defraud people online these days."
I said recollecting. Female panties were the rave for Yahoo or cafe boys these days. Jobless youth that chat-up foreigners online especially women, in a bid to seduce them into a relationship for financial gains.
It used to be very lucrative, but with international crackdowns, warnings from former victims, lonely white women were becoming more difficult to scam nowadays. So they result to using charms or voodoo. One that had to be powerful enough to cross the Atlantic ocean to work on victims and charm them into submissive obedience.
Voodoo priests and their juju were always fond of demanding bizarre ingredients for their potions or spells. This season, the choice ingredient for such a spell is used or dirty female underwear.
Many stories were already circulating around about missing panties. Some videos were on my phones about guys who had been caught trying to make away with female panties and brassieres. A few had been caught even in my own neighbourhood.
The craziest case, however, was that of the Agama lizard pants thief. An actual redheaded lizard common here in Nigeria was caught on camera stealing female panties from clothesline between its jaws. That was when we all realised the gravity of the demand for women's underwear for voodoo.
So now, ladies did their underwear laundry in their apartments and no longer dried them out in the sun anymore. And when they no longer used them, they burned them, which my darling wife is asking me to do right now at 9pm in the evening.
"Oh, Hell No!" I cried " can't you do it yourself? They are your panties after all."
"I can't go outside, it's dark out! And besides, you're supposed to be the man!"
"Oh, I see. You had to go there huh?"
"Apparently, I did." she dumped the box in my hands and I proceeded to examine the contents.
"Are they dirty?"
"Eww, of course not. They are clean. I washed them yesterday."
I rummaged through the box and brought out a few to examine closely.
"How come there are different sizes of bras and panties here, are these all yours?"
"Yes," she said shyly batting her eyes at me.
"I get it. Your ass and boobies got bigger after we got married, didn't they?"
Laughing she snatched the panties from my fingers and said:
"Well, if you didn't spend all your time groping and handling them, maybe they wouldn't get so big"
and she dumped a box of matches and a bottle of kerosene into the box and began pushing me to the door.
"This is NOT how I imagined spending my evening, you know!" I said protesting.
"Aww, poor baby. Don't worry, when you get back. I will let you do ANYTHING YOU WANT in the BEDROOM" she said
And she undid her robe to expose the full length of her lingerie and then placed her hands on her hips caressing it gingerly.
"ANYTHING" I asked wide-eyed.
"Anything," she said matter-of-factly.
"Anything-You-Want!" she said blowing me a kiss.
"Ooh, when I’m done with you. You're going to need a fire extinguisher for that ass!"
I said as she bundled me out of the apartment laughing.
And me suddenly excited about finishing the task at hand.
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by holicupp: 2:02pm On Mar 23|
MY OGA THIS UR STORY DEY SWT ME LIKE KILODE RIDE ON SIR OLUWA GOT UR BACK
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 4:12pm On Mar 23|
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by ashatoda: 4:31pm On Mar 23|
please let the action begin
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 4:51pm On Mar 23|
Oga you like action o.
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by akimbomimer: 7:18pm On Mar 23|
Tori Tori laidis na hin dey sweet pass, abegi egbon ride on
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by ashatoda: 7:20pm On Mar 23|
adeabdul2:like am die e dey sweet enta brain wella
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 7:33pm On Mar 23|
Thank God say my effort no waste.
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 7:33pm On Mar 23|
Action Man. Don't worry akshun dey come. Lolz
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by ashatoda: 8:20pm On Mar 23|
adeabdul2:abeg do quik
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by oloyedprince1(m): 9:03pm On Mar 23|
boss hope u go post dis evening
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 9:05am On Mar 24|
I was supposed to boss.
But then I slowed down my writing because I didn't think the story was interesting. Hopefully, some time today sha.
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 10:23am On Mar 24|
I got downstairs to find thankfully that a lot of my neighbours were indoors and there was very little activity in the environment.
“Good, hopefully, I can do this without attracting attention to myself.” I thought.
Whether Yahoo boys or no Yahoo boys, burning panties is still weird and lots of people would attribute many wrong things to it.
I found a small corner beside my house opposite a children’s primary school and began. I opened the bottle of kerosene and poured it all over all the bras and panties in the box and on the box itself. Then I dumped the plastic bottle into the box for added fuel to the flame. I struck the match and “VOOOM” voila, instant bonfire!
The entire contents went up in flames instantaneously and it was so brightly that I had to step back a bit. I didn’t expect there would be such a big flame. I must have added too much kerosene.
A song made by a group of boys, presumably yahoo boys came to my mind. Where they sang about all the money they have made from using girls’ panties. It was hilarious
Leave it to Nigerian dudes to make a hit about doing juju for money. The song’s chorus was very catchy, it went something like; “A ti lo” meaning “we’ve used it”.
A ti lo!”
A ti lo!”
A ti lo!”
A ti lo!”
The music video was even funnier. It had about five or six guys holding female underwear in their hands, wearing it on their heads and some had it on their chest singing;
“A ti lo!”
"A ti lo!"
Initially, I was tapping my feet to the rhythm of the song but I never realised when I started dancing lightly to it by the fire. Just like the boys in the video to their catchy chorus;
“A ti lo!”
I realised too late to see a group a people, men and women, the men were holding bibles as well as the women, amongst them who also had on headscarves coming towards me.
They were obviously members of the nightly prayer group; the local prayer warriors who held regular spiritual vigils in the neighbourhood. You know? To cleanse the neighbourhood of negative spiritual elements which can sometimes be in the form of stray cats.
Because of them, we would sometimes hear the chanting of “Fire!, Fire!, Fire!” as they prayed in the neighbourhood. They usually held their meetings in the high school beside my compound. Right in front of where I was holding my wife’s underwear bonfire.
They eyed me suspiciously and swiftly crossed themselves with their rosaries as they passed in front of me and entered the school. I heard the murmuring of what sounded like the “Blood of Jesus!” from one of them.
“Blood of what?” I thought.
“Hey, I’m only burning panties here. Nothing suspicious or spiritual whatsoever…” I tried to say but they had quickened their steps into the school compound as if I was about to cast a spell on them like Voldemort.
“This is so embarrassing,” I thought “why am I doing this again?” I asked myself.
“You’re doing this so that yahoo boys won’t use your wife’s underwear for ritual purposes sir.” my brain answered
“Wrong answer, Cerebro!” I fired back.
“Pardon me, sir. You’re doing it so that you’ll get lucky tonight.”
“Right on!” I thought amusing myself.
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by doctorexcel(m): 2:03pm On Mar 24|
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by oloyedprince1(m): 2:59pm On Mar 24|
1 Like 1 Share
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 10:53pm On Mar 25|
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 10:56pm On Mar 25|
If I was being honest. The Yahoo boys were a real threat. I used to think it was silly for lonely white women to send money to black people on the pretext of love or marriage. Until my friend Yemi, a former Yahoo boy himself showed me the tricks of the scam.
It was so simple that I couldn't believe it. An African guy would pose as an American, usually a white American male. Someone who travels a lot and cannot meet face to face. Like a military guy serving abroad but someone good-looking works best or a little easy on the eyes. Yemi showed me the pictures of some middle-aged general once, a handsome dude that he was using. That’s typically the type of person they would use to impersonate and entrap white women.
Still, I thought the women were pretty naive to send money to some American general serving in Afghanistan whose laptop camera was always conveniently faulty due to a variety of reasons; armoured tank being hit by a grenade in Kuwait, cracked lenses due to contact with terrorists in Iraq, foggy from sand in the lenses from a sandstorm in Yemen.
Then Yemi invited me to listen in on one of his conversations with one Sarah, the American lady that sends him money. I sat on a chair next to him while he began the conversation sitting on his bed in his small room in his father's house.
“Hello, baby,” Yemi said with an American accent that was so convincing that even I had to look twice at the skinny black dude beside me to realise that it was still an African that was speaking.
“It’s Rick, Rick Morgan”.
“Hello, Rick? How are you, baby? Are you alright?” asked the middle-aged mildly attractive woman in a screen window on his the laptop.
“Oh, I’m fine now darling. Now that I get to see your beautiful face again.” I couldn’t get over the American English stunt. It was even had a dash of Southern American accent in it with slurring of the letter “r” like Yankees often do.
“Aww, thanks, baby. But your laptop camera is still not working, is it? I still can’t see your face.” Sarah was saying.
“Ah, yeah baby. You know the last sandstorm got it all glitchy and I don’t even know when it’ll be good again.” The boldface liar that was my friend said. “at least I can see your face. I tell you, darling, you are a tonic for tired eyes. And my eyes are plenty damned tired right now.”
“Aww, my poor baby!” she said and I felt bad that she was buying all this crap.
What beats was that Yemi wasn't even into girls yet. He was still a gangly fifteen-year-old in high school who cared more about games and comics books that anything even remotely romantic. I didn't think he had even started puberty. If he ever got any money from this lady, I'll bet my bottom dollar that he will only buy new games for his PS2 console.
“Yeah, angel. Life is tough out here for a soldier. All I see every day are people who are trying to shoot me. It really gets you down, you know?”
“That’s why I needed to see you tonight. You love me, don’t you darling?”
“I do, Rick. I love you very much, with all my heart”.
And my heart nearly broke for her. I could see the sincerity in her eyes and heard it in her voice that she really did care for this fake Ric guy.
“I love you too darling, very much. You’re the only who cares about me. You’re all that gets me going in this terrible place, you know that? It’s a desert out here, so damn hot in the day and too damn cold at night.”
“Aww, my poor baby.”
"I wrote you something, darling. While thinking in the middle of all this madness. I thought of you and wrote you something. Would you like to hear it?"
"Sure, Rick. Let me hear it, please."
"God, why is she buying this." I thought then.
"I see you here, all the time. Everywhere and in everything.
Like a picture in my pocket, I carry you around with me all day and all night."
"In the contours of the desert sand, I see your body lying there peacefully and with grace.
In the night time sky, I see your eyes staring back at me, sparkling, beautifully."
"In the twinkling of the stars, I see you smiling, beaming at me with love. And in the cool
night’s breeze, I hear your voice whispering, calling out to me, tenderly."
"Whenever I take a sip of water in the desert, it feels like your kisses, reaching deep
down to my core and filling me up with coolness, comforting."
"I am brave and I am strong because I have you. You’re my sanctuary in this hostile territory.
My survival depends on you, my haven. And I can’t wait till we are man and wife and come home to you."
“Awwwww...baby. I can’t wait to be with you too.” she gushed absolutely and my bottom jaw disconnected from my upper jaw in awe.
I was stunned at his Romeo performance! He looked at me sideways and grinned.
“Yeah, baby. I have to go now Sarah; my platoon is about to move out! I’ll call you soon, okay baby?”
“Okay, Rick. I love you.”
“I love you too baby.” He said, “and Sarah?”
“Please don’t forget to wire me that money soon, okay baby? I and the boys out here really need it you know…for supplies.”
“Err okay, Rick.”
“I love you very much, baby.”
“I love you too, Rick.”
And he ended the one-way video call and beamed up at me.
“Yemi?” I called.
“Yes,” he responded smiling.
“You are a BAD person.” And he collapsed on the bed in laughter.
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by holicupp: 11:15pm On Mar 25|
ANOTHER BOMBING SO SO Swt
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 12:01am On Mar 26|
So glad you liked it boss
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by oloyedprince1(m): 8:58am On Mar 26|
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 9:06am On Mar 26|
Thank you boss
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by adeabdul2(m): 12:12am On Mar 28|
And sure enough, he did get the money. Which he ended up spending on a couple of gadgets, nothing serious. No investments or wise savings.
Just the same reckless spending anyone would expect from someone who got easy money.
And in all honesty, I got a PlayStation 2 out of it too.
Sure, I felt bad for Sarah. But the stupid kid I was back then was not going to pass up a free PS2, especially with games like “Devil May Cry”, “God of War” and “Assassin's Creed” thrown in the mix.
I eventually convinced Yemi to dropped the scam, which he did.
He got his act together and gained admission into the University of Lagos to study Computer Science. But whenever I saw him with new Timberland shoes or a new watch, I couldn’t help wondering if Sarah was involved in it.
Sometimes I thought about Sarah. That kind-faced middle-aged lady who fell in love with a man who never even existed.
I often hoped that she eventually found herself a man like Rick Morgan, who would tell her sweet things and make her feel good about herself.
But now with so much internet fraud these days, so many people are being more careful online and women like Sarah are more difficult to scam.
That’s why the current boys are resorting to Voodoo to add magical powers to their chats and make people more gullible. And apparently, they need women’s underwear for the charm to work.
Hence that’s why I am standing here burning panties.
“And hoping to get lucky sir?” my brain added.
“Yea, Cerebro. Hoping to get lucky!”
|Re: Night Of The Flaming Panties! by Ultimategeneral: 6:31am On Mar 28|
You are one bad writer
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