hello everyone reading this my name is kacy and my story goes like this
my bosom friend from childhood is really about to mess up his love life,
he is a softie in matters of the heart but also a very strong headed person when it comes to taking advice
he got his girlfriend of over seven years pregnant and decided to do the right thing, by doing her introduction
in preparation for marriage, now the baby is born and my friend suddenly is facing reality of life and marriage,

he is just 25 while the girl is 22,
truth be told i think the problem they are having boils down to maturity issues,
he complains of her not doing her chores, she complains of him not caring enough,
and so on and so forth,
for me i know my friend is looking for an escape clause, cos he is currently in love with a girl
who happens to be the girls friend, from my point of view sooner or later things might get out of hand,
and to worsen matters one of his friend gave the girl a hint about what this my friend might be up to,
which has done nothing but to aggravate the situation,

my major concern is the little boy who will suffer the effects of a broken home,
i am at a loss of what to do,
how do you make a stubborn he-goat know do the right thing
and at the same time make the girl realize the issue without seeming like you are interfering.

i have been trying to use subtle means, but looks like i am not making much headway,

i am not one to post relationship issues online, but this one beats me,
how do i help them

@op
this is a very complicated issue i would say, abeg just know how u meddle in their affairs cause as u've said earlier immaturity is de cause of their problem and it will not auggur well if de whole thing now fall on ur head ok. But sum men r funny wy not use condom wen u know u r not ready 4 fatherhood. A case of real immaturity.

my advice.
Pls just try and move closer 2 de new gurl he is going out with and make her understand he is not de man 4 her and tell her he's already got a kid dat she should not spoil other ppl's home abeg no let ur friend know else na riffle he go take burst ur brains cause he has already fall in luv 4rm de luk of things. Infact u need 2 play ajames bond dere 2 be able 2 quash his intrest in de other gurl.

trouble in paradise

25yrs a son,

poster i know ure the dude!!

marrying some1 just cos u gat dem preg is a big no no!!!.
cos u wud be forever resentul 3wa5rds the chic cos u wud see it that she forced/tricked u into marriage,  u didnt marry her 4rm ur own free will, n as the yrs go by, the resentment will increase  n might even turn 2 outright hatred/repulsion,
cases like this full naija!,

@190 i am not the guy,

atiku07:

@op
this is a very complicated issue i would say, abeg just know how u meddle in their affairs cause as u've said earlier immaturity is de cause of their problem and it will not auggur well if de whole thing now fall on your head ok. But sum men r funny wy not use condom wen u know u r not ready 4 fatherhood. A case of real immaturity.

my advice.
Pls just try and move closer 2 de new gurl he is going out with and make her understand he is not de man 4 her and tell her he's already got a kid dat she should not spoil other ppl's home abeg no let your friend know else na riffle he go take burst your brains cause he has already fall in luv 4rm de luk of things. Infact u need 2 play ajames bond dere 2 be able 2 quash his intrest in de other gurl.

the only guy he allowed close to the new girl has made matters worse already, instead of using wisdom, he is sort of making outright statements
i don't wanna be at the centre of such palavar oh,

earthrealm:

marrying some1 just cos u gat dem preg is a big no no!!!.
cos u wud be forever resentul 3wa5rds the chic cos u wud see it that she forced/tricked u into marriage,  u didnt marry her 4rm your own free will, n as the yrs go by, the resentment will increase  n might even turn 2 outright hatred/repulsion,
cases like this full naija!,

by him doing the right thing i mean that he really wanted to be with the girl then you know
its just that the reality of marriage is finnanly hitting him on the face and he can't really handle
come on after 7yrs he can't be feeling tricked,

anyways thanks for ur advice

men guy just called me now
wants me to come over to his place this night
in his own words ''can't u spend some time with ur guy''

he only does that when he is emotionally stressed out,

poster

the first mistake your friend made was to marry a woman just because she got pregnant. Having a baby does not and will not garuntee happiness, fathfulness and all the other words that end with ness.
No matter what happens to their relationship your friend [size=18pt]MUST[/size] take care of his child and his azz needs education on using protection rather than being a playboy

i dont think its your lot to interfere. they are still too young and i guess they still have parents, abi are they both orphans? I think u should stay out of it, cos its really not your business. who were the people that joined them together? they should approach those people for counseling and not you. If you are a friend of the guy, both of you must be birds of the same feathers. "show me your friend and i will tell you who you are" remove your mouth and stop making fun of them, i am also suspecting your own motives too.

the damage was done the minute they decided to get married simply because she got pregnant.
they were immature BEFORE the baby and surely are now.
as for the guy who wants to play the filed, tell him to be honest and face the music. staying with this gal just because they have a baby and cheating on her is definitely NOT the safe environment for a kid (unless baby momma is ok with this).

MRbrownJAY:

the damage was done the minute they decided to get married simply because she got pregnant.
they were immature BEFORE the baby and surely are now.
as for the guy who wants to play the filed, tell him to be honest and face the music. staying with this gal just because they have a baby and cheating on her is definitely NOT the safe environment for a kid (unless baby momma is ok with this).

thats my point exactly, he should face the music instead of trying out excuses

scorpion1:

i dont think its your lot to interfere. they are still too young and i guess they still have parents, abi are they both orphans? I think u should stay out of it, cos its really not your business. who were the people that joined them together? they should approach those people for counseling and not you. If you are a friend of the guy, both of you must be birds of the same feathers. "show me your friend and i will tell you who you are" remove your mouth and stop making fun of them, i am also suspecting your own motives too.

obviously you have no business in this thread, cos if your eyes were open while u were reading you should have gotten the message

topic says for matured minds obviously you are not, 

Don't try to fix it. Make them think U are trying to help them destroy it. Stubborn ppl listen better when they think U are on their side. the thing is they need a common enemy to help them rediscover their need to make it work. 7years no be joke o. There must be love or friendship somewhere there, all U need to is help them rediscover it.

^^^ lmao! That's one way to look at it, still, if it does fall apart, I don't think the OP will pat himself on the back for a job well done.

Sounds like regular probs u have when u marry too young/rushed. I think it's a phase and they'll get past it. In the meantime though, encourage ur friend to hang in there, and advise him that the last thing he needs is an STD or an illegit child outside wedlock.

Onchedu:

Don't try to fix it. Make them think U are trying to help them destroy it. Stubborn ppl listen better when they think U are on their side. the thing is they need a common enemy to help them rediscover their need to make it work. 7years no be joke o. There must be love or friendship somewhere there, all U need to is help them rediscover it.

seems like u read my mind, truth is i don't wanna oppose him cos he is like one of those ppl when u tell to go, they come instead, nobody tells him what to do,
i posted somthing on my facebook page and he gave a stupid comment, saying ''im send you make u give am advice, hope say no be me oh, ''
i laughed when i saw it, i just pray he got the message and starts thinking in the right direction,

iceblue:

^^^ lmao! That's one way to look at it, still, if it does fall apart, I don't think the OP will pat himself on the back for a job well done.

Sounds like regular probs u have when u marry too young/rushed. I think it's a phase and they'll get past it. In the meantime though, encourage your friend to hang in there, and advise him that the last thing he needs is an STD or an illegit child outside wedlock.

i honestly want things to get better for them, but he is not making advising him any easier,
hope this phase passes quickly,

Girl friend for 7 years and the gyl is 22 now.