pocohantas:


You don’t know me. You assume you do. My values and ethics are bespoke, strictly mine.

Please check your mail

Blackmiserable:


I don't think there is any sentiments in wanting a name from your region regardless of who is doing the asking. The woman in question is a northerner.

Sentiments can be attached to anything, it's usually a personal thing

I think that responsibility lies mostly on the man.
If he chooses to share that with the woman its he's choice.....

It has been so right from time.....

Argue with history.

Bukola, oya talk.

Blackmiserable:


I don't agree sir. We identify with people, not tribe. You have it backwards.

I don't see any fuss here, in nigeria every child as more than one name, via mom , dad, grandparent,aunty/uncle or pastor/imam. however out of these names a child is popularly known & called with one,
that davido calls his son "ifeanyi" a name from the wife side does not mean ifeanyi has no yoruba name, so the woman in question must av given her tribe names to those kids ... buh they are bearly other names.

ericsmith:




I don't see any fuss here, in nigeria every child as more than one name, via mom , dad, grandparent,aunty/uncle or pastor/imam. however out of these names a child is popularly known & called with one,
that davido calls his son "ifeanyi" a name from the wife side does not mean ifeanyi has no yoruba name, so the woman in question must av given her tribe names to those kids ... buh they are bearly other names.

Sir, I didn't say I am not aware of other names. I mean since the name gets to the forefront on everything official, the child is more likely to identify with it, and it is more than likely to be prominent. As the saying goes: It is better to be the king of a small town than a second-in-command. What's the point in having a name if only a small pool of people identify you by that?

I would be hurt because their surname already reflects their father's tribe so therefore I would give them first names from my tribe. I can't imagine carrying a child and not being able to give him/her the first name I want. It all depends sha, as a man that truly loves his wife I don't think you should have issues with her giving the first name while you give other names

Whatever works for one.
.
I do not believe that a child belongs more to the mother than to the father because she carried the child in her womb for 9 months
So all these concerns about the man naming the child, thus sidelining the woman who carried the child through the gestational period...
I don't get it.
.
What works for one home should not be the standard by which other homes follow.
We need to learn to live and let live.

.

Blackmiserable:
So I went to the neighborhood where I grew up in the north and made friends with one of the new tenants introduced to me by my mom.

I checked in on him once and I was having a good time with his kids. What's your name, I asked the first. Second. And third. It was all Yoruba names. But wifey is a not a Yoruba woman. She looked happy I must admit and I can see that the man is taking good care of her -- madam balance wella with one very big chicken wey I never see chop this year.

But I kept asking myself: why did this woman tolerate this. I honestly have no problem with the idea if I were a woman though but I just want to put myself in other people's stead who disagree with their husbands during Naming. She took the baby for 9 months in her womb and ended up calling him by a strange name. Lol.

But that aside and to the topic, as a woman, do you have problems with the fact that your children are known and identified by a regional name that you do not identify with? Like, an Igbo wife whose son is often called Tioluwani or a Yoruba wife whose son is Chukwuemeka or Danladi. I know people bear many names but people are identified with one more than others.

I personally don't think it should be a big deal because if two people from different tribes decided to get marry, then naming of children should have been one of the topics of discussions even before the marriage.

For the inter tribal marriages I know, the children end up answering a neutral English name.

I would feel okay with that. If you don’t like the tribe, then don’t marry that person. The kids can have names from any tribe out of the ones you guys are from. There are no rules to these things.

blazer90707:
I would be hurt because their surname already reflects their father's tribe so therefore I would give them first names from my tribe. I can't imagine carrying a child and not being able to give him/her the first name I want. It all depends sha, as a man that truly loves his wife I don't think you should have issues with her giving the first name while you give other names

Thanks for honesty voicing your own opinion on this subject, lol. I know if I were to ask this same question elsewhere like Reddit, I'd get polar opposite answers to what obtains here.

cococandy:
I would feel okay with that. If you don’t line the tribe, then don’t marry that person. The kids can have names from any tribe out of the ones you guys are from. There are no rules to these things.

You don't have to like a tribe to like a person. You all are terribly mixing up human desires. I don't have to like or hate your tribe to like you. I am neutral on even my own tribe so I see no big deal in making human tribe an intrinsic part of one's identity. I could even take it a bit further: you don't have to like your spouse's personality to like them.

AnonymousRebec:


I personally don't think it should be a big deal because if two people from different tribes decided to get marry, then naming of children should have been one of the topics of discussions even before the marriage.

For the inter tribal marriages I know, the children end up answering a neutral English name.

Yeah I agree. It should be discussed earlier and that was probably why all kids bore father's tribe, but imo, that's stretching truth a bit too far. They might and might not discuss it. Do we also have to ask our wives if they would take our names? Somethings are just the norm sir. The woman did the right hand though, but I just want to hear dissenting opinion because it seems Nairaland is a bit progressive than the Nigerian society we live in.

Ellipsoid:
It was probably a joint decision to give their kids Igbo first names. Did you ask if their second/other names are Yoruba?

I once had a Dentist who said he and his wife, a Clinical Psychologist, decided to give their daughters unisex first names, then female names as the second. He explained their reasons and I thought it was a very smart idea and something I'd like to implement in the future when I've my own kids.

If it was a joint decision, that was probably because she succumbed to the man's decision, so yes, it was a joint decision.

No I didn't ask. I simply asked for their names and I got told. X, Y, Z. Whatever second or third name they have is irrelevant because even the mom called them by their Yoruba names in my presence.

She did the right thing though but I just came here to hear contrary opinion.

Winneygirl:
Whatever works for one.
.
I do not believe that a child belongs more to the mother than to the father because she carried the child in her womb for 9 months
So all these concerns about the man naming the child, thus sidelining the woman who carried the child through the gestational period...
I don't get it.
.
What works for one home should not be the standard by which other homes follow.
We need to learn to live and let live.

Yeah, whatever works for one. How about you. Imagine you're a Igbo and next thing hubby tells you is "Dear, our son's name is Mosadoluwa" would you object?

Blackmiserable:


Yeah, whatever works for one. How about you. Imagine you're a Igbo and next thing hubby tells you is "Dear, our son's name is Mosadoluwa" would you object?

I expect my husband to want to name the child just as much as I want to.
If I was igbo and I married a yoruba man, i wouldn't expect him to say "our son's name is Ifeanyichukwu".
Where you both can't settle for a name, I have some suggestions below.
John
James
Matthew
Daniel
Michael
Samuel
David
Joshua
Enoch
Moses
Joseph
Mark
Paul
Pharaoh
Herod
Judas

Up to a point that may be correct.

But you have to like it enough that names from there do not irritate you. I’m not saying one should be totally in love with the tribe’s cultures and practices (especially if they are oppressive).

Blackmiserable:


You don't have to like a tribe to like a person. You all are terribly mixing up human desires. I don't have to like or hate your tribe to like you. I am neutral on even my own tribe so I see no big deal in making human tribe an intrinsic part of one's identity. I could even take it a bit further: you don't have to like your spouse's personality to like them.

So the child was named outside the husband and wife's tribe? Abi named within either of the two parent's tribe?


No big deal biko... It is just a name so long as you two are happy with it. After all, English names aren't our tribal names too.

It's just understanding between the parents.... my husband is ignore,I on the other hand is isoko...

My first child has both igbo and isoko names...but she's well addressed with her isoko and she's even answering the name as her first name in school and enmarked on her certificates.

The Igbo name comes as the second...her dad is the only person that calls her the Igbo name.

Whilst my Son has only igbo name...no isoko name,not one.
My husband really fought tooth and nail against my giving him isoko name.....
It was really a big issue,but we are cool with it.

Like I said...it's just understanding...and nothing more.

ahnie:
It's just understanding between the parents.... my husband is ignore,I on the other hand is isoko...

My first child has both igbo and isoko names...but she's well addressed with her isoko and she's even answering the name as her first name in school and enmarked on her certificates.

The Igbo name comes as the second...her dad is the only person that calls her the Igbo name.

Whilst my Son has only igbo name...no isoko name,not one.
My husband really fought tooth and nail against my giving him isoko name.....
It was really a big issue,but we are cool with it.

Like I said...it's just understanding...and nothing more.

Haha, your influence is really strong oo Ahnie. Chai, action woman. Why did he object to your son having Isoko name?

I don't think it matters once the couple is in agreement. I and my husband are from the same tribe and our son is named after my FIL. That's his first name which most people know but he has other names and he answers to them. My husband marvels at how at 2plus he answers to about five different names,lol.

forzarush:
I don't think it matters once the couple is in agreement. I and my husband are from the same tribe and our son is named after my FIL. That's his first name which most people know but he has other names and he answers to them. My husband marvels at how at 2plus he answers to about five different names,lol.

Oh nice to hear that ma'am. It actually doesn't matter but some people still see culture as an essential parts of who they are and they carry that thought with them. You can imagine Yorubas discriminating against themself (my mom point blank told my brother that she doesn't approve of his union with a woman from Kaaba) so how much more when we have to give up something as important as naming. Bidemi, Temidire, Ajoke, I'm honsstly imagining the trauma of that Igbo wife.

Blackmiserable:


Haha, your influence is really strong oo Ahnie. Chai, action woman. Why did he object to your son having Isoko name?

Because he was scared that if i give my son my tribal name....dats the end.

i cud remember vividly on the dedication day...when i went to write the names of our son to present to the pastor....my husband took the list from me..he then cancelled the isoko name,but left the english and igbo names....funny enough that was how our son was saved from been isokolized.

But i kinda loved it now...because whenever the names of my kids are called...one would easily decode that its an intertribal union.

Simply put...we've settled ourselves ...he has the boy,I ve the girl.
I'm a big fan of inter tribal marriages.

ahnie:


Because he was scared that if i give my son my tribal name....dats the end.

i cud remember vividly on the dedication day...when i went to write the names of our son to present to the pastor....my husband took the list from me.. he then cancelled the isoko name, but left the english and igbo names....funny enough that was how our son was saved from been isokolized.

But i kinda loved it now...because whenever the names of my kids are called...one would easily decode that its an intertribal union.

Simply put...we've settled ourselves ...he has the boy,I ve the girl.
I'm a big fan of inter tribal marriages.

Ahnie, yesterday you no gree me sleep. I just dey read your post up to the 17th page. Your comment for diary section na die. Your hubby must be a lucky sombori and at the bolded, your hubby no send. Sharp guy, he could see that equal rights doesn't mean equal influence, so he has to exert some authority lol.

Do you mind if I follow you on NL?

From your comments, I understand you lived in Kano; I am job hunting there presently. Any place you'd suggest that can land me something to sustain body? Lol, do you still speak the language? And how do you understand Yoruba? This Isoko woman sef lol.

I will call them a name I chose, that doesn't stop my husband from calling them a name he picked for them. My mum always called me and siblings by the native name she gave us, her relatives also call me by that same name whereas my dad calls me by a different name, while I answer a different name officially

Mizwisdom:
I will call them a name I chose, that doesn't stop my husband from calling them a name he picked for them. My mum always called me and siblings by the native name she gave us, her relatives also call me by that same name whereas my dad calls me by a different name, while I answer a different name officially

Oh that's good, but If I get you, the name you're answerable to oficially is neither the name given by dad nor mom? Then who gave you the name?

As long as they are in agreement. She married into the family, it should be fine.

These days, when people ask me where I am from, I mention my LGA and husband's own as my new LGA.

When it comes to naming a child, both of them should agree

Blackmiserable:


Oh that's good, but If I get you, the name you're answerable to oficially is neither the name given by dad nor mom? Then who gave you the name?

It's my name but my dad has a nickname for me, that's what he has been using.

Mizwisdom:



It's my name but my dad has a nickname for me, that's what he has been using.

Oh that's nice.

ImaIma1:
As long as they are in agreement. She married into the family, it should be fine.

These days, when people ask me where I am from, I mention my LGA and husband's own as my new LGA.

When it comes to naming a child, both of them should agree

Both may have conflicting interests or mutually exclusive preferences, permit me to say that.

It's not as cut and dry as you'd like to think. I prefer to be called tioluwani than the English equivalent, lol, but all these things abo ut name and who gets his way sha, wetin dey worry me sef? Perhaps boredom.

Blackmiserable:
So I went to the neighborhood where I grew up in the north and made friends with one of the new tenants introduced to me by my mom.

I checked in on him once and I was having a good time with his kids. What's your name, I asked the first. Second. And third. It was all Yoruba names. But wifey is a not a Yoruba woman. She looked happy I must admit and I can see that the man is taking good care of her -- madam balance wella with one very big chicken wey I never see chop this year.

But I kept asking myself: why did this woman tolerate this. I honestly have no problem with the idea if I were a woman though but I just want to put myself in other people's stead who disagree with their husbands during Naming. She took the baby for 9 months in her womb and ended up calling him by a strange name. Lol.

But that aside and to the topic, as a woman, do you have problems with the fact that your children are known and identified by a regional name that you do not identify with? Like, an Igbo wife whose son is often called Tioluwani or a Yoruba wife whose son is Chukwuemeka or Danladi. I know people bear many names but people are identified with one more than others.

they have middle names in the mum's language na. And probably one in English

It is what it is.