Most people think about emotional intelligence as a skill, something you can build and train with practice. Well I don't know if that is true, but let's blindly agree with them by saying that one of the most important skills for being successful in life at work and at home, is not just being intelligent (meaning having a high IQ) but also being emotionally intelligent (EQ), which is the ability to understand, manage, and monitor your emotions constructively. We have all met people that seem to have the innate ability to stay calm and to be emotionally mature.

� Emotional intelligent people don't have temper tantrums

Temper tantrums are unpleasant and disruptive behaviors or emotional outbursts. They often occur in response to unmet needs or desires. Emotional intelligent people don't have temper tantrums because they have control over their emotions, and they know that when they have a temper tantrum, the people around them will shut down. They have learned it is more effective to stay calm and logical in order to communicate.

�They don't behave insensitive

Emotionally intelligent people are keenly aware of other people’s emotions and feelings. Because of this awareness, they make sure to be sensitive to how other people are feeling. They show true concern about other human beings and how their approach to interactions affects others. This can also be described as empathy, which is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.

� They don't contemplate or ruminate on past mistakes

Ruminating on past mistakes is a misguided attempt at control.

Just like we humans crave order and certainty, we also crave control. We’re obsessed with the idea that, with enough effort and perseverance, we can do or achieve anything.

Of course, most people who get stuck ruminating endlessly on past mistakes and failures don’t actually believe that they can change the past. Instead, ruminating about the past gives the them the illusion of control, however fleeting and temporary.

When you’ve done something bad or made a mistake in the past, you naturally feel guilt and regret. Chronic ruminators develop the unconscious habit of constantly replaying past mistakes because it briefly gives them a feeling of control. And feeling in control helps distract from feeling helpless — which is what we really are when it comes to past mistakes.

To think too much is a disease.

― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

In reality, no amount of rumination or analysis of your past mistakes will change what happened. Which means helplessness and powerlessness are inevitable.

This is a hard fact of life that emotionally intelligent people not only understand, but accept.

� They maintain unrealistic expectations

Unrealistic expectations are a misguided attempt to control other people. Just like ruminating is an attempt to control the past and how we feel about it, maintaining unrealistic expectations is usually a subtle attempt to control other people.

Of course, most people with unrealistic expectations don’t see it that way. You probably see your expectations of other people as a good thing: Having high expectations for people encourages them to grow and mature and become their best self!

Maybe, but this is still a subtle form of control. You have an idea for what another person in your life should be or do or accomplish and your expectation is your way of trying to make it happen.

But what does it mean, exactly, to maintain an unrealistic expectation?

Simply put, it means you spend time crafting stories in your head about what other people should do. And when they inevitably fail to live up to those standards, you reflexively compare reality to those expectations and feel frustrated and disappointed.

And how do you respond to this frustration and disappointment? By creating even stronger and more elaborate expectations, because it makes you feel good and in control!

Look, of course you care about the people in your life and want the best for them. And it pains you to see them hurting or struggling or suffering. So, when you create a story in your mind about them succeeding and doing better (i.e. an expectation) you feel a little better.

The problem is, you can’t actually control other people, even for the better. Not nearly as much as you would like, anyway. Which means you create a constant vicious cycle of sky-high hopes and grave disappointments and frustrations.

What’s more, eventually your attempts at control begin to be felt by the people in your life and they become resentful. And if it goes on long enough, they may even act contrary to your expectations simply out of spite!

The solution is to let go of your expectations. Stop creating stories about what you want for other people. And instead, just be present for the person they are:

Validate their current struggles instead of daydreaming about their future successes.
Set real boundaries on their behavior instead of wishing for perfection.
Meet them where they are instead of where you want them to be.

Feel free to read the rest with the link below �

https://1knews.com/things-emotionally-intelligent-people-dont-do/