Many times most people blame people in trouble because either they've not been through Silas issues or insincere. It's human to err, but divine to forgive. Women are demonic when they get the slightest opportunity to hijack control roles in marriages. Many times via finance, offence, or good nature of their hubbies. They often use children as their ultimate weapon of revenge. It's obvious this woman will not give up until she has fully messed up this man.
Solution
1. Seek amiable solution with her, let her understand the implications particularly on the children, if this fails
2. Move out of her life, seek to up your life remotely from her and the children
3. Try all your best to succeed b4 any contact with her and the children
4. Try to support the children, if they are willing, on your return, if not, be man enough to move on with your life, new wife, new family.
5. Women are mean and unforgiving, they easily forget your past good but never forgets your current mistakes. Moreover, they see children as their social service reward. They do everything possible to ensure that father's are deprived of that benefit possibly entirely. Check history.

All you need is some little action make the whole house see film,all your kids will fear you and your wife too,get really angry and pissed and yell at the kids if they refuse your errands,na you marry your wife and na you born the kids,stop been a gentle man at this point,if not your daughters will do the same to her husbands.oga all you need is to para small and the whole neighborhood will come and beg you.and they will talk to her very well.

Stinolexis:
Just end the marriage now, that you still have time, before it will become too late...

Your wife can never change to her normal self.
Just divorce her and both of you should take care of the children.
The same issue is happening with my dad and step mum,
Such marriage cannot be the same, no matter how hard you try to make it work.
She will keep on frustrating you.

True talk bro.He should understand his situation better than anyone else.

@paul8000

1) Are you the breadwinner/provider of the family?
2) Does your wife make more money than you currently?

Ironic:
D'fvq did I just read? Like, you'll send your kids on an errand, your wife will stop them and you won't do anything?

Like, you don't flog your kids?
You fvckin claiming Western pattern of raising kids by being a simp to them all to be tagged a modern dad?
You gotta be a typical African dad asap!

Bruv, the first thing you need to do now is to make them to be scared of you. Very necessary at this point.

Next time you send any of them message and he/she refuses because of your wife, flog the hell out of that one, if your wife tries to misbehave, flog her too with well-deserved uppercut and smackdown. If possible, stop eating her food because she's capable of doing something unexpected with what you eat.

They'll become scared of your recent behavior and adjust. Strict dads keep the best, calm and organized home.

What next? Your wife will try to manipulate them by using your new attitude towards them. Keep being strict towards them and still do your fatherly works towards them.

Trust me, you need to go very hard right now since your soft ways ain't working.

Mothers manipulations towards their kids against their dad can only function when they are tender, when they grow, they MUST know the truth and the mum will be at the loosing end.

If you don't have the mind to do what I've advised--Divorce your wife. You can't keep housing a demon who's quick to use your kids against you because she's closer to them.

The wife has the pepper
And you can't beat your kids and wife mehn

It's dialogue.. The wife has a lot to say
And he needs to get some one she respects to make her talk....

Once the issues are out there.... There is hope

That was powerful message! Nice one

Ladylite:


Travel unannounced, for months.

Change your number.

Work, do odd jobs if you must but come back only when she is broken and begging and crying and desperate.... Ensure she begs on phone and each of the children beg and apologize. Do not return unless you are far richer, looking better.


Then travel again just before they get used to you.


She will learn what I have learned, that your potential is unlimited and she is not responsible enough to hold you down. So it will make her humble.

Your children should "fear" you more than they do their mother.

If Mopol tell you make you lie down and army say make you enter gutter...

I am sure you will comply with the soldier.

Which one is kneeling down to beg your wife?

You've been weak all over the place, and this is the result.

Amya:
This story hurts me so much because my mum played that card too. Now my dad is late and I wish I had a better relationship with him before he passed. My Dad wasn't a bad man, it's now so obvious I was heavily brainwashed by my mum. I hope your kids dont feel as i do someday.

Gbam, your head dey there.

I am not here to judge you but cheating in love relationship is a serious breach of trust,it doesn't matter how some people see or call it in our modern day.Many people think in this part of world that men have exclusive preserve of cheating on their partners but how would they feel if their partners cheat on them?Jealousy is not all bad because it is a strong sign or an expression of true love,I want you know that your wife still loves you only that she doesn't know how to handle the situation in a mature manner.Please,I advise you to hang on and look for people your wife respects and are trustworthy to mediate in this matter.Though you didn't furnish us with the details of what led to current scenario, I guess you purposely refused to delve into it.Try once again to mend fences with her if it fails, restort to the last option I just gave you.Thank God,your wife has not gone telling people outside about your matter but confided in your children in spite of division she caused between you and your children.Good luck.

Terrible. This life!

Marriage!

Everything about life is scam!

Who told the wife that she would live to see the children prosper?

Let's not worry about certain things if there is no enough financial strength like my formal landlord who took all his children abroad and nevrr allowed the mother to see them for 12 years.

The woman cries everyday till now. But he did well by giving her a house and another one to rent out.

What's important for a man is to try hard to satisfy his family and leave the rest for nature to take care of.

The moment a man is ready to lose that most desired thing his burden reduces. Before marriage be ready to make it work and also be ready to say bye to love if it doesnt work.

Your solution might be to leave the woman for now or forver to find happiness if you have no ball to create a scene yet.

No one can give you happiness except yourself. However, philandering is not good.

So you need a new you but surely outside that marriage if: advice from family and friends don't work, if your begging doesnt work, if you cany create a "film" for them all.


And I doubt you can do all these because you seem weak who can only Bleep around but cant hand a wife and children...
Have you heard " WERE LON SOKO OBIRIN" Meaning na man mad dey be husband for a woman.

Oga u are a weak man... Women can change overnight, disrespect u but not ur kids... Eh. U av to discipline them. Let their mother keep misbehaving ignore her but for the future of your kids, deal with them and have great talks with them regularly.. Soon d game will change and their mum will b the one seeking their attention... As a man never loose grip of ur home.. Never

Paul8000:

Yes I have hurt my wife a lot in the past ... I have cheated on her so many times with 3 different women.... I impregnated one of them ... my son is 6 years old... I sincerely apologised to her and promised that I will never cheats on her again... she has forgiven me ... that was 6 years ago and I haven’t cheated don her since. All these misunderstandings we are having has nothing to do with me cheating.... my main problem is the way she has turned the kids against me ... anytime we are having some issues ... she keep malice with me and will tell the kids to do the same thing... and when things get back to normal again... she will tell them to start talking with me...

like seriously I never read this part b4 I made my first comment....u cheated ,yea she might not see it as a big deal after u begged but u have a boy from that(evidence of cheating).Do u know how heartbroken she was when she heard that after everything I both went through n what u work towards

She can never forget n she knows irrespective of whatever she laboured together with u a strange woman will b a part of it someday cos u will give d boy something n d boy will give his mother.Bro at this stage of your life, all u need for yourself is a soft landing cos the children are old enough to see everything.

Pray to God,change your ways n convince them alot that u are truly a changed man

All d best

Paul8000:

Yes I have hurt my wife a lot in the past ... I have cheated on her so many times with 3 different women.... I impregnated one of them ... my son is 6 years old... I sincerely apologised to her and promised that I will never cheats on her again... she has forgiven me ... that was 6 years ago and I haven’t cheated don her since. All these misunderstandings we are having has nothing to do with me cheating.... my main problem is the way she has turned the kids against me ... anytime we are having some issues ... she keeps malice with me and will tell the kids to do the same thing... and when things get back to normal again... she will tell them to start talking with me...

You are fucking weak. Is your wife the breadwinner? Even if she is, it's no excuse to be a domestic rag. 6-year-old kids disobeying you, what will they do when they are 16? You need to act like a crazy person. Beat the shit out of those kids, and leave the house. Go make your own money and do not return until she begs.
Why are my even typing this? I don't believe the story.

AdaoraNK:
Children love their dad more depends on how much affection you give them.

Secondly, the issues you have with your wife may be so 'bad' that it affected the 3 oldest emotionally , though you did not disclose it.

The solution is keep pleading with your wife and turn a new LEAF.

He can plead till tomorrow nothing would change.The woman doesn't know the implication of what she is doing on her children. Most Women only listen to their pastors,he should get her pastor to speak to her on the implication of what she is doing on her children as it is she doesn't know and wont stop.

sexybash:

Oya complete it for him
Story writer

If you are offended by the 'just cheating' that was not said to trivialise what he did. I explained in a later quote.

My brother I can feel your pain
According to you,

"You have tried to make things work and have even knelt down to beg her and she did accept"

Infact she is a shild


Not funny though, she's mean!

Dande55:
Lol. You cheated on your wife with 3 different ladies, only God knows how long each cheating lasted. The time you were meant to be close to your children, you relegated all those duties to your wife. Now, she has 100% of their audience. And you think, Those times she cried and wept in front of those kids, that they aren't aware what's going on? You think they weren't building up grudges against You? Lool
This is the wicked mistake some of you men make, leaving your wives to train the kids alone and then, when they must have grown, you think you will just manipulate them and just have your way with them that easy?
And upon that, you had a child outside with another woman. Most of these men telling you to do this or that wouldn't have taking it lightly if this story was from the opposite gender cheating and having kids outside their home.


You've not seen anything, you will see worse when the children might have grown. You will shed blood, you will have a share of the tears you caused that poor innocent woman. Her anger on you reçently is caused by accumulated grudges she had for you all these years of your cheating and maltreating.

For you to make it work, you have to prove yourself to your wife and kids. Let them sincerely see you've changed. Cos, running out of your home gave them the impression that you must have gone to see your girlfriends as usual, reason they ignored you.
Work on your family cos you've failed your wife and kids.

Btw, women, have your own money, the op is still respecting the wife cos he knows that she's capable of fending for her kids and still living her life uniterupted if anything goes South.

10/10
I wish I can give this post 1000 likes

A good wife will never teach d children to hate their father

Paul8000:
Good evening ladies and gents...

My name is Paul, I am married to my beautiful wife Vivian by name for the past 16 years . We have 5 wonderful children together Jemima 15, Isaac 12, Elizabeth 9, Samuel 6 and Tabitha 3. We are based in Liberia. We both are working and earning well by God grace. I have few issues with my wife that brought me here to get some advice.

Anytime my wife and I had some misunderstanding, she does involve the children. The oldest 3 she tells them everything including how I cheated on her, she also feed them with lies that I am a bad man and I want to kills her. She tells them so many things to make them hate me. They will disrespect and keeping malice with me to the extend of if I send them for errands, she will stop them and tell them not to go. No matter how much I shouted at them to go, they will not obey me because their mother has the final say. For example my wife and I are having some misunderstandings for over 3 weeks now, we are not talking or sleeping in the same room. I have tried to makes things works for us but she refused.

The children are also keeping malice with me. I sent Elizabeth to go and get some water for me, she obeyed and went to the kitchen, few moments later she came back empty handed staring at me in shock. I asked her what about the water she said her mother said I should go in the kitchen to get the water myself . At that moment I just couldn’t take it anymore I exploded in anger I went to the kitchen we had a heated arguments she pour water on me I really wanted to hit her so hard but I control my anger and walked away.

I left the house for 3 days to cool down. because I was so angry with her I just wanted to be alone. I then went home after 3 days,my 3 oldest children acted like they hadn’t seen me they were busy with their phone/ tablets and it was only my 2 youngest that were missing me they both hugged me like never before me. My youngest daughter refuse to leave my room she even slept in my room. I could see how much she misses me. My wife on her side acted like nothing too her normal behaviour as usual . For the sake of my 2 youngest children I sat her down and talked with her. How we should makes things better for the sake of our children especially the younger ones.

I have apologized to her on my knees all to no avail. I am tired of my wife turning my children against me they have becoming out of control ... I can’t correct them it pains me a lot to see my own children disrespecting me. I don’t want them to grow up and hate me all their life I want to have my family back. A happy home how we used to be before but my wife don’t want to cooperate with me I thought this lock-down will bring us together so we could sorted out our differences and fix our marriage to become better but all to no avail.

I am writing this sitting inside my car in the compound because I can’t even go inside the house because I have nobody to talk to my 2 youngest children that keeps me busy are asleep. I am so lonely all alone please how can I put an end to all this I am fed up ...

Anyone who has ever experienced something like this can you please advice me on how did you overcome this. I hope I was brief enough...

Guy put your house in order. Leave all external issues and tackle this all important one.

timocruzcmbb:
All you need is some little action make the whole house see film,all your kids will fear you and your wife too,get really angry and pissed and yell at the kids if they refuse your errands,na you marry your wife and na you born the kids,stop been a gentle man at this point,if not your daughters will do the same to her husbands.oga all you need is to para small and the whole neighborhood will come and beg you.and they will talk to her very well.

This is another solution but not many can do it.

Mr Paul there are technically 6 women including your wife holding bitter grudges against you. U dont know yet. Their knowledge of you having a son will always hunt them.

This one is too colossal to forgive

Just like my brothers, they all know I smoke weed so they want me to feel guilty and lose my self respect. They try hard to not respect me. I can even hear them sometimes calling me funny names.

But life happens, and it is filled with so many opportunities to rectify your Bleep up. In the morning, I wake up and take my God given position. I organize, and declare goodies, and scold or punish (when I'm VERY SURE someone misbehaves).

Your wife and kids are hoping for a responsible father who knows what's right and what's wrong.

Beating your wife or your kids is not the way. Let your actions show who is supreme in the house. And if your wife really is the shot caller, then be loyal to her and to her friends, and her family, and your children, and live a happy life.

Play 'stupidly' and laugh with your sons and lose yourself in your home once in a while. In summary, to be a man is not a days job.

Like I said, guilt and shame will only embarrass you out of your own household. Whatever wrong you've done or they've done, forgive yourself and forgive them, and drink lots of water, and sleep often.

You're a good man. So let them know that you can be a bad man too.

Digitiminimi:
I can never advise any Man to marry a single wife.

Reason; many who married one wife will suffer in the end. It started from now.

A single wife might wants to kill someone but if they're two they wouldn't want to kill you.
If one turns her children against their father, the second wife will not turns her children against their father

I was having this line of thought when I was single. And was with the same idea when I got married to the first and eventually became a polygamist.

Except you are harsh or mean,don't think been a millionaire is the way out to manage polygamy. It is the most uncomfortable situation I later found myself.

If you are not comfortable with a woman divorce her and get another. If it takes you ten women to find your choice,so be it.

There are still good women out there. I am married to only one now and she is my world

Simple find other meaningful things to engage yourself and ignore the woman....do all your possible best to concentrate your hard earned resources in training and bringing up the last two children...let the rest depend on their mother too... and see who benefits....this generation is all about #selfinterest.

go read being the strong man a woman wants.. U're not showing enough leadership and now behaving like a grown ass good natured child, u have to be Worthy to lead ur home and ensure that your wife don't disrespect you even when she doesn't agree with you.. U deserve better

Paul8000:

Yes I have hurt my wife a lot in the past ... I have cheated on her so many times with 3 different women.... I impregnated one of them ... my son is 6 years old... I sincerely apologised to her and promised that I will never cheats on her again... she has forgiven me ... that was 6 years ago and I haven’t cheated don her since. All these misunderstandings we are having has nothing to do with me cheating.... my main problem is the way she has turned the kids against me ... anytime we are having some issues ... she keep malice with me and will tell the kids to do the same thing... and when things get back to normal again... she will tell them to start talking with me...

Why didn't you put this along in the OP and gave us half baked stories? Chai.

merieam16:
Av prayed abt it? women like their pastors, so av u involved ur pastor? nd try see a counsellor

Best advice...!

@OP or Mr.Paul did you cheated on your wife before because i know someone in similar situation.

Paul8000:
Good evening ladies and gents...

My name is Paul, I am married to my beautiful wife Vivian by name for the past 16 years . We have 5 wonderful children together Jemima 15, Isaac 12, Elizabeth 9, Samuel 6 and Tabitha 3. We are based in Liberia. We both are working and earning well by God grace. I have few issues with my wife that brought me here to get some advice.

Anytime my wife and I had some misunderstanding, she does involve the children. The oldest 3 she tells them everything including how I cheated on her, she also feed them with lies that I am a bad man and I want to kills her. She tells them so many things to make them hate me. They will disrespect and keeping malice with me to the extend of if I send them for errands, she will stop them and tell them not to go. No matter how much I shouted at them to go, they will not obey me because their mother has the final say. For example my wife and I are having some misunderstandings for over 3 weeks now, we are not talking or sleeping in the same room. I have tried to makes things works for us but she refused.

The children are also keeping malice with me. I sent Elizabeth to go and get some water for me, she obeyed and went to the kitchen, few moments later she came back empty handed staring at me in shock. I asked her what about the water she said her mother said I should go in the kitchen to get the water myself . At that moment I just couldn’t take it anymore I exploded in anger I went to the kitchen we had a heated arguments she pour water on me I really wanted to hit her so hard but I control my anger and walked away.

I left the house for 3 days to cool down. because I was so angry with her I just wanted to be alone. I then went home after 3 days,my 3 oldest children acted like they hadn’t seen me they were busy with their phone/ tablets and it was only my 2 youngest that were missing me they both hugged me like never before me. My youngest daughter refuse to leave my room she even slept in my room. I could see how much she misses me. My wife on her side acted like nothing too her normal behaviour as usual . For the sake of my 2 youngest children I sat her down and talked with her. How we should makes things better for the sake of our children especially the younger ones.

I have apologized to her on my knees all to no avail. I am tired of my wife turning my children against me they have becoming out of control ... I can’t correct them it pains me a lot to see my own children disrespecting me. I don’t want them to grow up and hate me all their life I want to have my family back. A happy home how we used to be before but my wife don’t want to cooperate with me I thought this lock-down will bring us together so we could sorted out our differences and fix our marriage to become better but all to no avail.

I am writing this sitting inside my car in the compound because I can’t even go inside the house because I have nobody to talk to my 2 youngest children that keeps me busy are asleep. I am so lonely all alone please how can I put an end to all this I am fed up ...

Anyone who has ever experienced something like this can you please advice me on how did you overcome this. I hope I was brief enough...

I am glad you are able to control your anger even at extreme provocation.
Whatever the case might be; who z at fault will come later. The concern is on your kids.
They listen to your wife cause that's person who is always near to them at most instances
Your kids have grown and belive me even the youngest understand what is going on. No matter what ur wife tells them as you said they always will discern for themselves now or in the future ...through your actions and words. These will form memories they will hold on to. Childhood moments.
No one have all the answers in these matters.
Amidst all this, Do find leisure time with the kids. Dont concentrate on the last 2 as you are doing. The adults might not be able to Express themselves now due to their teen nature or fear or their loyalty to their mother. They might be unhappy with on your inability to keep their once happy home together. Now you are the cause according to their mother. And look at it, maybe anytime you come home what happens....
Be not despair. Children, good children still know the truth. Among my folks I knew who was good and who was bad.
Staying away from might be necessary at times but 3 days might no be ideal. These are actions that help in fielding discord as well as help your wife's case.
Have a happy home.