₦airaland Forum

i just don't get it, for sometime now ive been meeting some really hot yet nice girls but they never seem to want to get serious, at first i thought it was just me, because i can be very unserious atimes, but after a while it became clear that all they wanted as a good time, someone to give them attention,go on dates with , generally have a good time and all that stuff, now i'm frustrated, i need someone to call my own, not some part time lover/contract lover, please if there's someone with an answer on this forum, help!! i aint in a hurry or anything, its just that i'm bored with the routine, i need stability, i need your advice.   

Looks like everyone's going bad, lol

@ Rodman

i must say am impressed that you are seeking a committed relationship

most guys here in Lagos are out to just freak around and have a good time.

am sure if you look hard enough u'll fine a girl who'll want to stick around.

in my my opinion i think its a trend(lack of commitment) with this generation

cos lots of us are seeking achievements in career ,also i think due to the increase

in failed relationships and unfaithfulness most choose to remain in non committed relationships

to have the so called benefits of a relationship but not necessarily been in one.

i also think people don't like the thought  of been tied in a relationship but would rather

have variety(hangingout with whom ever they fancy). its very complicated,

@ lilred.
Yes. failed relationships and unfaithfulness so many girls have learnt to guard their hearts

@ poster,
Relax, find one and stick to her ok? if she sees your own level of commitment, she will stay. Pray about it also.

Rodmann, there ARE women out there who are looking for One Good Man to call her own cuz they r tired of the "scene" too.  I think that they will be looking for a man who shows he is looking for that also.  We wouldn't look for a man who appears like a playa.  So if u r out and about and always with another woman and one has been checkin u out, that will show her, playa.  Also, some of the best things come in "plain wrappers".  Look for the good woman, the one who doesn't bare it all.  Look for her heart, personality.  The one who wants to be your friend first.  The best advice I ever got was "run to the one who loves you".  You won't find this woman out at the clubs or in the middle of things.  You will find her busy at church, or her place of work or from a friend cuz she will be the one taking care of her family and cooking for them, just as she would for a husband.  Best of luck in your search!

I really appreciate all your responses, i sincerely do. Iskwew i once dated someone who was very active in church,i assumed i was to play according to the rules  "no this" no that" but she sprung me from my sleep when i found out i was'nt the only one.(church going, cooking are not a criteria),of course i took it like that, afterall, a relationship only makes sense when you are sincere because you "want to" not because  "you have to", i allowed them be themselves, if i suggested commitment in the first place i probabaly would be putting myself in a vulnerable position, no one wants to get hurt and that includes me, my major challenge is i have not yet found someone with whom i can have a relationship that would naturally blossom into something that would last, i'll wait, i'll pray, God knows it's not a nice feeling, it's not