gbosque10:
Thanks for d update

you are welcome, boss

OGA LANDLORD 21+



Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.



Episode 90




Anderson: God forbid.

Me: wetin?

Anderson: why I go enter Dyna when my mate dey enter car?

Me: *I shake my head* your mate dey enter car but them nodey buy am.

Anderson: God time is the best.

Me: ehnn.. Abeg make we discuss serious matter, sit down biko.

He went to the couch and sat down, just then PHCN come say hello. I wonder why the person even on the light when em no wan bring am, NEPA will just position sadist in the control stations.
Just then he finally decided to bring the light, and the room was condition in good spirit with the AC.

Anderson: oh yes! just in time, them know say important person don enter.

Me: ehnn.. How many buses go fit convey all the adults for the yard?

Anderson: like four.

Me: four? Some people go lap oh!

Anderson: the two fat women for the yard go take two two seats.

Me: I understand, hire one dyna. Na there we go arrange the speaking system, we dey go village to villages. Before the campaign go finish, I wan go all the sixteen villages.

Anderson: no problem, I go arrange am latest tomorrow. So what of money?

Me: you never even go ask price, you know Ochagba Village, na there we dey visit tomorrow. Go cost am then bring am come with the signature of the seller, I go still confirm the price anyway.

Anderson: I go call you this evening.

He got up and left, I searched for my other phone that I saved all the Excos and ward chairman phone numbers.
Ward six Chairman is from the village, I dey go rally for support tomorrow.

I dialed his number and he picked after it rang twice.

Ward 6 chairman's voice: my own honourable! the only honourable wey talk and do one of NPP.. no vex as I no pick your call earlier, these mumu children wey I born just dey behave like children wey dey smoke weed.

Me: no problem, I go want make you help me do something.

Ward 6 chairman's voice: speak, your loyal servants have big ears.

Me: help me tell the Village chief make everybody gather for town hall for afternoon tomorrow.

Ward 6 chairman's voice: consider it done, this night the town crier go deliver your message straight away. Anybody wey say em no go come, na with Ak47 I go chase am come the town hall.

Me: I go surprise you tomorrow.

Ward 6 chairman's voice: my own honourable, you be surprise already.

Me: *I start laughing* hahaha, thank you.

I ended the call, I called Anderson again. He picked and I instructed him to make arrangement for forty bags of rice, he was surprise but I knew what am doing.
Money isn't the problem but popularity, I took my car keys and navigate with google map to Aisha's residence.

When I got to the gate and I horned, the automatic gate slide aside just like the way it is in the Governor's house, I drove in and marvelled at the kind of building the woman was living in.
And the securities there ehnn.. everywhere mancho men, na wa oh!

I parked my car at the parking lot, the compound was vast and the three storey building before me was something to live in and live longer than expected, I stepped out and one of the mancho men took me to her she was sitting in a shade, she smiled when she saw me and ordered her guard to leave.

Aisha: oh! please, sit sweetheart.

I raised my eyebrow, how sweetheart associate with me is still a mystery.
Anyways, I sat.

Me: what do you want?

Aisha: how?

Me: why you dey frustrate my life?

I wanted to shout at her and press her neck, that was my initial plan until I drove in and saw all these trained gorillas with soldier trousers and singlets displaying blocks as muscles.

I changed my mind asap, she sipped from the glass in her hand and offered me a glass to dine with a witch, I took the glass and dropped it on the table who knows if she don bewitch the glass and wine.

Aisha: you are here to see your son or you wan talk?

Me: I wan see my son.

Aisha: good, sign this papers.

She brought out a file, the thing shocked me oh! Wetin concern see with sign, I still received the stretched out file and opened it. the first page was court wedding blabla.. My two eyebrows on their own lifted up and my eyes nearly left their sockets.

Me: you don't mean it!

Aisha: I mean am na, I love you and I want to marry you so that we go rule the State together in the future, I have powers to help you win easily.

Me: I don't need your devilish help

Aisha: *she chuckle* devilish help? the garden is no more but the apple still lives, stop to dey act like tata

Me: make I act like adult marry person wey don old pass me.

Aisha: experience is better, age is just 1, 2, 3.

Me: I see, isn't just 1 2 3, is days Months and years biko.

The first document there is unacceptable, I flipped to the second document and it was more ridiculous, that I will stay away from the Governor and his wife. Wait, how did this woman know about Madam Stella?
I pushed the file back to her.

Aisha: you are done?

Me: very done, I nodey sign.

Aisha: you never ready to see your pikin, guards! *she clap her hands*

Me: what is the meaning of this?

Aisha: show him the meaning.

Two king kong appeared from nowhere and marched towards me, I jumped out of my chair and jumped through the window level wall surrounding the hall.

I quickly ran not looking back to my car, I wonder why the other guards were just staring at me. I ignited my car and quickly drove out, I will never come to this witch house, ever again. Amen!

I arrived at the Governor's residence and went straight to Ugochukwu's room, Governor and his wife went to Abuja.
I opened the door and met him sleeping in hot afternoon, I tapped him.

Me: wake up, na only women dey sleep for afternoon.

Ugochukwu: you dey alive?

Me: when you start to dey see ghost.

Ugochukwu: ever since you go visit that Aisha.

Me: leave joke, that woman na mad woman tru tru.

Ugochukwu: there is fire on the mountain.

Me: who set am?

Ugochukwu: Alicia.

Me: run run na.

Ugochukwu: I try but no way, we dey fu-ck when condom break.

Me: give am drug na, case close chikena.

Ugochukwu: she no gree take, say em go damage her womb.

Me: so, wetin you want my do?

Ugochukwu: do something?

Me: as doctor or the fu-cker?

Ugochukwu: both


TBC...

nice one bro, but u dey mistake madam Stella for Aisha,

I dey gbadun this story like say tomorrow no dey... Anyway...more blessings to you OP

KingAgroOrganic:
nice one bro, but u dey mistake madam Stella for Aisha,

i never edit am, lemme edit it sharply..thanks for spotting.

Ugo, just prepare for marriage oooo... Thanks once more for this beta update.. #Elvictor_u used Madam Stella instead of Aisha, place check and make corrects... Thanks again

Lakesc:
Ugo, just prepare for marriage oooo... Thanks once more for this beta update.. #Elvictor_u used Madam Stella instead of Aisha, place check and make corrects... Thanks again

i don correct am

ugo weldone

OGA LANDLORD 21+



Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.




Episode 91




Me: I dey laugh you, when you dey ride her like horse and she dey shout like someone wey dey possess you no need help.

Ugochukwu: bro, you know say I never beg you for idea before. I really need your help.

Me: the best thing na to order for ice cream, then find way bury the medicine inside the ice cream.

Ugochukwu: how the drugs go come dey effective if you don bury am for ice cream finish?

Me: so, wetin you suggest? Make we hire gun then bring the drug and water. Force her to drink at gun point or her life?

Ugochukwu: I go send Jack to buy the ice cream, the drugs already dey house. Na since morning I dey beg the babe to take the drugs, she no gree.

Me: since morning? Your sperm never complete the journey already?

Ugochukwu: my sper-m no sharp like me.

Me: I see *I lie on the bed and yawn loudly* I wan eat.

Ugochukwu: you dey tell me as your servant or chief chef?

Me: you no go believe wetin Aisha tell me to do before I go see my pikin.

Ugochukwu: I will not be surprise after all she is WWW.

Me: wetin you mean by WWW?

Ugochukwu: she be the wickedest of all the wicked witches, nobody fit drag that position with her.

Me: *I shake my head and sigh* the woman want make I marry her.

Ugochukwu: *he start laughing* them warn you say make you stay away from your mother mate, you talk no. The older the sweeter *laughing* hahaha.

Me: *just to change the topic* you never call Jack make em go buy the ice cream oh, dey there dey laugh like mumu.

Ugochukwu: oh! true, I dey come.

He got up and left the room, I had time to think for myself. I wonder what I should do to take away the child from Aisha, is court not a better option than using violence. Because all those gorillas in her house hmm.. Let me don't talk first, I was still thinking the line of my action when my phone rang.

I brought it out of my pocket and the caller was Veronica, my baby for life. I failed to call her first, I allowed the call to die and I called her instead.

Me: hello, you don reach. I was worried?

Veronica's voice: Jesus Christ, Victor.

Me: ehnn... wetin Victor do again?

Veronica's voice: I wan do you something.

Me: me too, I wan do you something for bed. I have been watching po-rn lately, em get one position I see, you go like am.

Veronica's voice: shut up! I wan flog your yansh.

Me: why na?

Veronica's voice: why you no call me since?

Me: na you suppose call, but na me call you instead because my love for you high pass weed.

Veronica's voice: swear, say you no see my missed call.

Me: missed call? I no see any missed call oh.. You sure say you nodey dream about me.

Veronica's voice: I will catch you, I still dey office. Call you later, chop kisses.. muaawww muaaww!

Me: which off...

The line went dead, I wan ask her which office she dey work. This girl matter have tire me I swear, the door opened and Ugochukwu walked in.

Ugochukwu: so wetin you wan do about your pikin, you wan marry her?

Me: are you still using the sense the fowl gave you or you are using the one God gave you?

Ugochukwu: dey answer me with question oh! until that woman turn your life upside down.

Me: she nofit do anything, I go drag her go court. After all she don give me DNA wey show say the pikin na my own.

Ugochukwu: *start laughing* hahahaha *when laughing madness enter this one?* hohoho! is like you no know that woman at all, you don go enter devil first daughter net.

Me: wetin make her devil first daughter?

Ugochukwu: that woman get money scatter, she be one of the richest woman for this Country. Not only that, guess what?

Me: talk abeg *my heart start beating fast*

Ugochukwu: her relatives are all politicians in power, and wetin go shock you be say army chief na her brother, the worse be say her families just dey control Nigeria army. Where you wan start from?

Me: from court.

Ugochukwu: you don forget say na rape allegation them take beat sense commot from your body?

Me: wetin you mean?

Ugochukwu: *chuckling* the evil woman fabricate lies for police finish, so that in case in the future you wan drag her go court for the child custody.

Me: why you no tell me since.

Ugochukwu: wetin you for do?

I was shocked and weak, I laid on the bed and gave up. I never knew someone with devilish mechanism on Earth like this do exist, no wonder she called herself the garden of Eden apple, very wickkkkkeeeeeedddd woman.

Me: I no know.

Ugochukwu: avoid that woman if you wan win this general election in peace, meanwhile I don send Jack to bring the ice cream.

Me: you go go meet Alicia, tell am say you want make she be the mother of your children. Say your sense no been correct when you tell am to take the drugs.

Ugochukwu: bad guy.

Me: my follow you.

Ugochukwu: are you scared?

Me: of?

Ugochukwu: ghost of Aisha.

Me: isn't funny.

I hissed and he roared in laughter, I wonder when this guy start to laugh like certified idiot, is alright. He opened the door and stepped into the hallway.

Me: but wait Ugo, how you take get all these information about Aisha?

TBC..

Thanks so much for d update...

More update

[i][/i]thanks for the update

Ooh!!! Victor you tried its not easy more ink to your pen buh pls try to dey update us like about 5 episode everyday please your story is mindblowing.

Silasloaded:
Ooh!!! Victor you tried its not easy more ink to your pen buh pls try to dey update us like about 5 episode everyday please your story is mindblowing.

that one go be spamming

Johnsown1:
More update

Lakesc:
Thanks so much for d update...

sheriffk:
[i][/i]thanks for the update

Lakesc:
Thanks so much for d update...

thank you guys for always supporting me with your comments.

OGA LANDLORD 21+



Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.




Episode 92



Ugochukwu: *chuckling annoyingly* no be everybody be fan of mind your business like you na, social media you nodey, newspaper nkor you nodey gree read. Radio nkor, you nodey gree listen, when you see big yansh and big brea-sts all your sense go run enter your pri-ck.

Me: I talk am, you no get sense. I ask only simple question, I no ask you to teach me ways to be busy-body like you.

Ugochukwu: na the simple answer be that.

Me: you go just dey make person vex.

I walked away seeing several cameras planted around the hallway, na wa oh! I don't normally see camera on the last floor it is usually at the second and first floors.

Food was on my mind not following Ugochukwu. I wonder how manage I no realize say hungry dey wire me. I walked pass the staircase and Ugochukwu tapped me on my shoulder.

Ugochukwu: you don pass the staircase oh.

Me: I know.

Ugochukwu: *he frown* you no go follow me again.

Me: to go do wetin?

Ugochukwu: aahh! aaahh!! you don dey use DVD last memory, to beg Alicia na.

Me: I wan go eat, run along young beggar.

I left him standing and did a u-turn getting into another passage that led to the first floor sitting room and kitchen with dinning, I turned towards the kitchen and started hearing a voice.

Voice: we rule the world girls! we rule the world girls!

Which world them rule na? na Earth or Pluto? I stepped into the kitchen and find Benita dancing and shaking her ukwu while getting busy with plates.

Me: who rule Africa, amu! who rule Africa, amu!

Benita: *she turn and start laughing* sir, is a lie.

Me: so ona own no be lie, na the small Africa we wan manage rule na em be lie.

Benita: women rule everywhere, if woman show her brea-sts men go go crazy, and wetin we get in between our legs kill Samson and made Solomon wisdom foolishness.

Me: bible student, hope say na you get this interpretation. No be your pastor, you wan know the importance of prick?

Benita: oya talk, I wan know.

Me: prick fit change your last name.

Benita: I be feminist.

Me: feminist kill you!

Benita: *laughing* hahahaha, you be jealousy I swear.

Me: all these things go end, I go soon enshrine civil amu rights for our education curriculum. We don over fight for women don forget say men dey suffer too.

Benita: no body go support your movement, only you and your amu.

Me: *I start laughing* see the way your mouth curve, abeg give me food. Hungry dey wire me.

I went to the dinning and await Benita to bring my meal, later another maid am not familiar with served the food.

I was digesting the meal when Ugochukwu appeared from nowhere, this food sweet oh!

Ugochukwu: na you go eat all these food?

Me: na me dey eat am na.

Ugochukwu: I don convince am.

Me: go give am the ice cream, tell her say you for take her out but make she accept the ice cream as the token of your love.

Ugochukwu: is that all?

Me: wetin remain?

Ugochukwu: my go give am.

He went and I devoured the food then went up to my room, I switched on the television and started watching movie.
I was still watching Acrimony when Ugochukwu came in, looking happy.

Ugochukwu: she don lick am finish.

Me: you get luck.

Ugochukwu: I also lick.

Me: *I look at him* when this manifestation of madness start?

Ugochukwu: she no gree lick the ice cream, she say make I lick am first.

Me: so you follow am take abortion pill, you wan abort your sense or wetin?

Ugochukwu: no be abortion pill be that, which school you finish from?

Me: commot from my room, I no wan see you again.

I carried him with his arm and kicked him out of my room, I locked my door and went to sleep.
The next morning, my phone woke me up from sleep.

I picked the call coming in from Anderson.

Anderson's voice: honourable talk and do! I salute you, good morning.

Me: which one I go respond to, salute or good morning?

Anderson's voice: both, I don arrange wetin you send me.

Me: do am well, later by noon we go go the Village. Make sure say the tenants dey inform oh;

Anderson's voice: no problem.

He ended the call and a knock landed on my door, I went to the door and opened it and Ugochukwu flushed in.

Ugochukwu: oboy, how far?

Me: I dey, this one you burst in. Wetin sup na?

Ugochukwu: abeg, I want make you follow me go Shantel their house, I want start to dey pay for her head.

Me: that one no be wahala.

He went back to his room and I slept more before I got up and tidied up, after our breakfast we got out of the house and went to a shopping mall.

We were busy shopping for Shantel's and her mother in the mall when something happened.

Me: guy, you don call Shantel make she no go work today.

Ugochukwu: yes, na.

Voice: daddy.

Ugochukwu: person dey call you daddy.

Me: *I feel a hand tugging at my trouser* who?

Ugochukwu: look your leg.

Voice: daddy.

I looked at my leg and saw a little girl tugging at my trouser, I jumped away wondering what kind of problem is this one.

TBC...

Honorable talk and do, don enter am

Haha, wey u won jump to? Seems ur title dey increase with each episode. Thanks for the beautiful update

Honourable talk and do, oya, jumping jumping, you are jumping...

Gbas gbos, dem just dey kick you upandan

Lolz, gbas gbos! hope your children neva reach half dozen laidis?

OGA LANDLORD 21+



Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.



Episode 93



I stared at the little girl face calling me daddy, she is about five or six years old. I backward my life back then I never dey play ball to score that kind goal wey go give birth to such beautiful and cute girl, if cute no follow the beautiful em go be understatement.

She don knack cinderella dress with her doll in her hands, with her small eyes and cute dimples. She stared at me with eyes threatening to spill tears.

Little girl: daddy.

Ugochukwu: *chuckling* guy answer na.

Me: wetin dey amuse you, Ugo?

Little girl: talk to me Daddy, am I not cute?

Ugochukwu: *laughing* talk to your daughter na.

Me: where is your mother, little one?

I heard crackling heels on the tiled floor coming towards our direction, we turned and saw a beautiful lady approaching us.
We were in betwixt tracks of fabric materials arranged in columns, Ugo wan shop for Shantel and her mother if not wetin I dey come do for female boutique.

The young lady on whites frowned when her daughter looked at her, her mother fine oh. Fair and looked like all those model on television with nicely formed figure, she bent to the child's height.

Lady: darling, why are you crying?

Little girl: daddy, refused to talk to me.

The lady threw a look my way and I raised my hands up, am not the one that made her daughter sad biko.

Lady: don't worry sweetheart, daddy will come to play with you later.

Little girl: promise, mommy.

Lady: yes, go and meet nanny.

Little: *kissing her mom face* I love you mommy.

Lady: *kiss her small nose* I love you more, my baby.

One fat woman appeared from the other end while the little girl ran to her happily, her mother straightened up and gave us one of her best charming smile with close-up advert teeth.

Ugochukwu: hello, beautiful lady. Is that beautiful child yours?

it is well, Ugochukwu dey find more side-problems.

Lady: gentlemen, am sorry for my child misbehaviour.

Ugochukwu: no problem at all, we love when beautiful children and beautiful mother misbehaviour.

Me: you no get sense Ugo *I mumble*

She stretched out her hand for a hand shake, Ugochukwu wan capture the hand when she shook her head indicating the handshake na for me. I gently took her soft delicate hand and my body flow with current, something familiar but unknown cruised through my whole body system.


Lady: am Profit, you?

Me: Victor.

I be wan laugh oh, I trust Ugochukwu em don dey laugh but he muffled it with his palm covering his mouth.

Profit: I want you to be my child's surrogate father.

Me: I no understand.

Ugochukwu: you no know wetin surrogate father mean?

Profit: have my card, call me when you are free.

She stretched out the card and Ugochukwu quickly took it from her, I no want another beautiful problem in my life. The one I get is enough to send any strong man to early grave, Ugochukwu assured her I will call. She turned and walked away waving goodbye to us with her right hand and her a-ss doing some waving to us too.

Ugochukwu: beautiful girls dey this world oh, you go think say you don see the most beautiful girl for your life today, boom! tomorrow you go just see mammy water from nowhere.

Me: give me the card

Ugochukwu: as wetin?

Me: as the surrogate father.

Ugochukwu: calm down, the card nodey run, later.

I no need to stress myself anyways, I got ways to make him hand it over amicably.
After we were done shopping, the boutique attendant packaged it and handed it over to us.

We entered our car and drove off, we took a cut to a street just the moment we wanted to drive pass one gated house along the street. I saw a billboard indicating that a seer lived in the gated house we wanted to drive pass closed to the tarred road after skipping the gutter.

I slowed the car and killed the engine.

Ugochukwu: why you dey stop here na, we don dey run late?

Me: I don see solution to my problems.

I came down from the car and Ugochukwu did also, he looked around and his gaze fell on the billboard.

Ugochukwu: seer?

Me: yes, make we go check inside the compound.

Ugochukwu: you nodey tire to hear this two women.

Me: I go nod you oh!

We started walking down to the gate after crossing the less busy street road.

Ugochukwu: you know say you be lord of the rings?

Me: how? *I knock at the gate*

Ugochukwu: na that big finger you go put Aisha ring as she be senior woman, then for the second finger na Veronica own go enter. Then the other one go be for the surrogate wife you wan get now, the remaining two go be for more wives yet to be discovered.

Me: God forbid.

We pushed the small gate-way open when nobody refused to answer, we saw one kid staring at us.

Me: na here be the seer house?

Boy: follow me if you wan see my papa.

The boy turned and Ugochukwu looked at me and communicated a message I decipher, no good afternoon em dey do me to beat this small boy.
We were taken to the backward were an old man sat with walking stick, his eyes were wide open without the eyelids making any involuntary contact.

The boy went away and we approached the old man sitting, I guess he is blind.

Seer: welcome.

Me & Ugo: good afternoon, sir.

I wan confirm say em blind, so I just walk closer and waved my hand on his face.

Seer: done?

The thing shocked me oh! how em take know say I wan confirm if em dey blind.

Seer: Victor, you have a bright future but there are two dark clouds surrounding your azure sky, soon it will be about to rain.

Me: old man, how you take sabi my name?

Seer: Ugochukwu, I see secrets around you.

Ugichukwu: which secret, old man?

Seer: make ona two go.

We tried getting more information but it looked like the man don get another senses issue, this one na deaf and dumb.
We gave up and I brought out some bills in my pocket and wanted to give to him.

Seer: leave, I no need your money!

I tried convincing him to take it but the seer no gree, we left and I gave the little kid the money.

We entered inside the car and Ugochukwu mounted the wheels this time.

Me: which secret the seer dey talk about, Ugo?

My phone rang before Ugochukwu go answer, it was from Veronica. I quickly picked it up.

Me: my love for life.

Veronica's voice: yeye boyfriend, tell that ugly girl that I will kill her if I see her with my man oh!

Me: na Ugo be the ugly girl oh! I go tell am.

Veronica's voice: crazy guy, I wan leave the country..

Me: when?

Veronica's voice: today, is urgent. Family matter.

Me: no problem, safe trip my love.

Veronica's voice: I go come see you when I return.

We talked on irrelevant stuffs before she hung up, I turned to Ugochukwu who was driving.

Me: which secret that seer been dey talk about?


TBC..

gbosque10:
Honorable talk and do, don enter am

lwkmd

Lakesc:
Haha, wey u won jump to? Seems ur title dey increase with each episode. Thanks for the beautiful update

you are welcome, sir

Ayanfe29:
Honourable talk and do, oya, jumping jumping, you are jumping...

Gbas gbos, dem just dey kick you upandan

lol

Healman:
Lolz, gbas gbos! hope your children neva reach half dozen laidis?

lol, em never reach.

Thanks for d update..

This is getting more horrible

OGA LANDLORD 21+




Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.




Episode 94



Ugochukwu turned to me and returned the askance look.

Ugochukwu: you know say that man dey talk with parables, oya tell me wetin be the two dark clouds and wetin em mean by it is about to rain?

My eyes darkened in confusion, for the first time in our friendship I doubted Ugo's loyalty, a salient voice is telling me he is lying to me.

I looked away and watched the streets as we drove on, we branched Conoil to get fuel before we finally find our way in a remote area around Port-Harcourt.
He horned before a life-don-tire me gate twice before it was finally threw open by Shantel.

She was so happy jumping like primary school pupil with her beautiful dress, she don wear make-up. Na wa oh! Who even tell girls make-up make them look better sef?

We looked for a place to park in the compound fenced round but any plant could thrive there because it wasn't cemented.

Ugochukwu came down before I could get the seat belt off my body, I came out and saw them hugging tightly while Ugochukwu was administering soft kisses all over her face.

Me: so ona don see each other, I don turn to ghost.

Shantel: *blush* no na, good afternoon, sir.

Me: come and hug me for your forgiveness.

She was about heading my direction when Ugochukwu held her back and crossed his possessive arm around her shoulder.

Ugochukwu: when you turn priest to dey forgive sin?

Me: *I touch my forehead and frown* ooohhh! oh Gawd!

Shantel: wetin happen?

Me: I don forget that number that beautiful lady give us, Ugo em dey with you?

Shantel: honey, you collect any beautiful lady number?

Ugochukwu: *frown* no, na Victor she give the number.

Me: why em come dey your pocket?

Shantel: *remove his arm from her shoulder and stand arms akimbo looking him up* why em dey for your pocket?

Ugochukwu: she give me make I give Victor.

Me: *I stretch my open palm* hand it over.

Shantel: *hiss* you too like women.

She angrily turned and started walking towards the house, Ugochukwu threw the card at me and went after her.

I bent and picked the card, boldly imprinted name 'Profit Mustafi' the second name is kind of powerful in the country, I saw Ugochukwu returning back.

Ugochukwu: tell me why thunder no suppose strike you.

Me: you nodey like to co-operate, what'sup with Shantel na?

Ugochukwu: the babe don been catch me with babe wey I wan bed for guest house, I no know who gave her the intel say I wan go bang one babe like that.

Me: you know what?

Ugochukwu: how you expect me to know.

Me: if I be Shantel father, I for no allow human being with fowl prick marry my daughter.

Ugochukwu: God forbid, with that your irresponsible di-ck. How you wan take produce powerful girl like Shantel, with that your overused spe-rm.

Me: but na me born you.

Ugochukwu: you don mad, I happy say Shantel catch me that day.

Me: why?

Ugochukwu: the babe get HIV, and she been dey tell me say we go do am skin to skin. I don ready, if you see how my prick don strong, and the babe nodey like person wey get HIV.

Me: as them dey write am for forehead na, am HIV positive.

Ugochukwu: wetin I learn for school be say, if you get HIV you go get lose of hairs, slim like say food nodey. Come worwor, I no believe say such beauty go get HIV.

Me: you no get sense, for this 21st Century.

Ugochukwu: Shantel appear for the guest house na em make your friend no get HIV.

I wondered what Shantel really see in Ugochukwu if love isn't blind, her mother came out and welcomed us warmly but Shantel who had gone inside didn't join her. She dey vex tru tru, girls sha.. Small thing them don carry am for head.

Ugochukwu and I moved the goodies we bought for them inside, I gave Igo the wine and we went inside the sitting room.
The sitting doesn't have expensive taste but it surpassed any moderate arrangement.

I sat in one armless cane chair whil Ugo find his way to were Shantel sat, he was tryna crossing that his hand that he hadn't shave across Shantel shoulder but the babe no gree.

Shantel's mom: ah ah! Shantel, this one you didn't allow your husband to be, to touch. Hope all dey well?

Ugochukwu: yes, she nofit wait for the honey moon night.

Me: *I nearly laugh, this boy na mumu oh* you know say Shantel na deal day girl.

Shantel: *shock* mommy don't mind them oh *she blush*

Ugochukwu: mommy mind us oh *peck her*

My phone rang and I excused myself from the sitting-room to take the call, it was from Anderson.

Anderson's voice: hello, Honourable we don wait you sotay everybody don dey get beards for yansh oh!

Me: I dey come, make ona exercise small patient.

Anderson's voice: no strength again to exercise.

Me: I dey road, tell them say reward dey for anybody wey go wait.

Anderson's voice: you mean am?

Me: no.

I hung up and went back to see the wine Ugochukwu bought and some money on the wooden table, I didn't sit again.

Me: I don dey run late Ma, Ugo make I dey go na. Shantel, we go see later.

Ugochukwu: hiaa! you wan leave me here.

Ugochukwu got up too, we were about to leave the sitting-room when Shantel's mother asked her to walk us to our car.
She did sha.. Without saying a word and Ugo hugged her not minding her mood, this two people love dey wear agbada.

We entered the car and drove out of the compound, I say my hear wetin dey happen for Nigeria na. I switched on the radio in the car.

Ugochukwu: you wan break history.

Me: wetin you sabi? as the spirit leads.

Them knack their radio beat before one sweet voice came up.

Broadcaster's voice: breaking news, a sum of one hundred million niara has been recovered from the residence of Mr. Okoye Jada by EFCC, details will be brought to you shortly.

I switched off the radio, wetin I wan use details do again.

Ugochukwu: o boy, that man sabi thief like that.

Me: I pull boxer for am oh!

Ugochukwu: politics na lucrative business for Nigeria oh! just eight years as chairman of LGA, em don store one hundred million naira.

TBC..

Thanks Op..

the waiting game is killing me slowly oo, give us at least 5 update in a day na e go sure

Here who is ugochukwu. I wonder the supernatural power of shantel and my guy oga talk na do I wonder shall.

@Elvictor (oga d pen)
Na beg I dey beg u, nor carry ya pen break the sweet friendship btw ugo and oga landlord.

Ugo as been good and loyal to his friend all through the story,I see no reason why he'll betray his friend,we all need friends like him,he's a true brother.

So Pls don't bring issues between them,cos the landlord needs all the help he can get.
Thanks for the update.