While your concerns are appreciated, your husband is to be admired and praised! Thank God you are even being considerate, not those ladies that will turn their husbands to errand boys, anyways, the bedt esy to make him reduce it a bit is by conversationally, sexually, (other forms exist) engaging him once the baby is asleep, grab him and make him stay put with you and do with him whatever pleases you. You're so fortunate you found that type of man. Yesterday one of my friends told me of how his future wife has always got to cook fresh meals, even if she dey work she must leave her workplace to come prepare him fresh meals then she can go back. No storing of food in the fridge/freezer! I sighed in pity for the supposed future wife!

Temiasuquo:
This is the dream man for most woman. You have it and still complaining.. Reverse is d issue in most homes. When some wives are complaining that their husband is dirty and does not want to assist in house chores, another woman is not please of d husband helping her out. God will make all woman to enjoy and be satisfy in their marriages

"Dream man for most feminists..''
Not 'most women'...

This is the true definition of "What do women want"

kalufelix:
I can decide to go to a road junction and start controlling traffic.. You may be the direct beneficiary of my good deeds.. But it does not mean i did it for/to please you.. I did it for goodness sake baby!.. You know that inner joy.. I'm sorry your 'clinical psychology' is for "eye service" people and holds no water.. :p

your illustrations is different from the scenario.. U get inner joy from doing things when it benefits you(joy) and the receiver. But when it goes beyond it making the receiver feeling guilty and she can't voice out certain concern then I don't think both are receiving same mutual joy. She might see some wrong and can't complain instead harbour it inside, when the intensity harboured becomes much . It might lead to a scenario where the guy would saying things like "after everything I did for you". Any succesful marriage is not meant to be one sided.

sweetmelanin:

Hmmm

.. why do I have a strong feeling that this story is fake?

Because it's fake

He is doing his best to support you, if you are feeling bad then get back to work gradually,
wake up early and do the chores, get things ready before he comes back, give him a hug and a kiss for welcome,
finally place his food on the table. Then you have your husband back.

Adasun:
Lols,what do humans really want?

You can't really please women. Dia matter don tíre God self.

Iffffffy:
like seriously! op, you better come and ask what we experienced in marriage, you will give thanks to God for your hubby.

are you divorced or a widow?

Madam up your domestics to assist. Some babies don't like being laid alone. So Back your baby he/she won't complain. Don't get the man frustrated pls, you may not like the result.

samtinx:
i am patiently waiting for the day, somebody will come and cti a thread of how their husbands are just too handsome, and they seeking for advice on naiarland

Lmao..nothing can satisfy human

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

na wa o, what do women really want

Talk to him in a lovely way, he will understand you.

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

How many babies are we talking about here?

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

He truly cares for you. Atleast you see all these things and appreciate him ,some women will still think he’s done nothing and he should work and die ..just help out and encourage him ..also keep being a good wife

Beosten:
Dey blow English dey go.

Once the baby sleeps in your arm, transfer her to the bed na so that you can do chores while asleep.

You need to tell us where you get baby weh no deh sleep to allow you lay am for bed so you could do other things...

You nor deh bathMabi brush?u nor deh do anything..na only breast feed for one place..

U be mumu..lazy baga

I understand you my sister. No one wants a man that is a puppet and your husband has turned one.

Every woman wants a manly man (forget about social media fabu of feminists).

Sorry about your plight

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

Beautykate:


That's the problem, he will not allow me to do anything, and it really pains me seeing him stressed out.

Just appreciate him. Those kinda men are few, I am one to my wife. That's an INDOOR HUSBAND. He'll NEVER get tired. lucky you

airminem:


Have you decided when to take the sniper??

oh my Gosh! she is going suicidal. Nairalanders pls let's help this poor soul before it's too late.

Beautykate:

During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down.
I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

Crap. During pregnancy, you had excuse. Now breastfeeding, another excuse.

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

You can do more but prefer not to. May be your husband has realised that he married a classical lazy woman. Simple

Lubbish

kalufelix:
I know... There must be a term for it.. To even confuse everyone further.. He also needs to see a therapist right??

not necessarily

I don't see it as a problem.
there's hardly any therApy one can get in Nigeria for that.
i

yettymuse come and see something .
Humans are insatiable really

You are a very lazy woman!!

So insecure, you are here giving us stupid excuses. Do you think we are kids or what!

With your silly big grammar...

Sisijetue:
Person way get cap no get head and person way get head no get cap....that’s your case ma’am..Appreciate every bit of him remember you can’t have it all. Why do you want to create problems anyway if you don’t want him domestic get a maid

"You can't have it all.." good saying, on point

Adasun:
Lols,what do humans really want?

Lol...our wants are limitless.

Your husband isn't broken,don't try to fix him.

Adasun:
Lols,what do humans really want?

Nope

But say what does woman really want

It is refreshing to read a beautifully written post on Nairaland.
Posts like this are now scarce.
I hope you receive the wisdom needed to navigate this situation.
You should have conversations about it, not done in a sombre mood, but playfully tell him what you feel.
He will catch your hints, hopefully

So how do you want me to advice you cos you're the one who can only advice herself here.

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

Lazy and dirty wife alert!

The thirst for what human really want is insatiable. U have to learn to manage what u have as a husband for now that domestic chores calls. I guess he will come around as that fun person u ve known him to be. Its a matter of time.