This thread is majorly for counseling singles on relationship issues because in there is safety in the multitude of counsel.

Issues will be treated as they arise. Beginning with a post where someone trusted a girl friend with huge money sum because of one act of kind gesture.

Alot of people fall in love totally and turn a blind eye to other essentials because of one or insignificant number of aspects of a partner and then can't see other flaws only to have their worlds and confidence dashed to pieces when love alone no longer matter.

People fall in love because she is the most beautiful girl that ever came their way, you can't afford to lose out on her so other things shouldn't matter. He is the only lover that ever cared for me this way, therefore you can't see the too many baggages that will throw you and their care off balance if their other sides are put on scale.

It goes to show such people have never defined what they want in the first place as a result are swept off with just a dazzle of glitter.

The said poster threw all caution to the wind because he assumed love is a pre-perfect match that can only be with that one person or no body else. No love is who you give it to and it is only perfect if you give that one person who is compatible with you and you are too with.



Another lady poster also told of how as a single under 30 age old she ended up with a man with kids from different women and added to the statistics. It could only be an unhealthy self esteem. It makes people go for the available for fear that another won't come. Issues from past relationships, pressures from family, fear of the unknown makes people want to just grab this one and go. They leave no margin for the long term effects, they just want to be hooked now, they only see now but what shall it profit you to enter and come out too soon with scars and fears bigger than what you had. Some will even stay for shame sake and watch themselves die by amortization.

Are there issues you want counsel for? Or you wish to discuss for clarity and direction, send a mail to uneedtotalk40@gmail.com, your confidentiality is protected with utmost priority.

INSIGHTFUL !

This is for that girl (similar others) that is crushing and hoping for a returned crush because he always looked at her whenever their path cross.

You looked at someone, he or she smiled back, you like their appearance or something about them. You start thinking things up your mind and catching feelings without being very sure if the feeling is mutual or if the person is the kind you should be with on a normal day or even available. You allow yourself to be carried away and can't bring yourself to order when you eventually get the returned crush but he/she has other intolerable characters.

Control yourself and very quickly too. If you find yourself crushing on someone control yourself and check on whether their character is worth it, whether they are available and if the feeling is mutual.

For the said girl, she wasn't sure if the feeling is mutual, the guy didn't collect her number for the times they met, she already saw another girl who cooked for the guy, the guys has gone home from break probably never even given a thought about her but the girl has been too occupied with thoughts of him.

People know when you like them, they can return the feelings genuinely or take advantage of your like selfishly.
The problem with crushing without control is you can even attract the person to you, trust me, thoughts are powerful and attract but what are you attracting? If you attract the wrong one, you will hurt yourself along the way.

When you are too lost in your crush, you will take all manner of nonsense just to continue to satisfy your crush crave but like all crushes, it will wear off and you will see what has always been there but perhaps by then alot of damage would have been done.

Crushing is allowed but do it with sense, check for the three main things I talked above before you continue else crush the crush. It is easy for a guy to take his crushing to asking out but not easy and advisable for girls in our clime. As a girl if you even make the move because you saw he is good and available, he may quickly lose all interest in you not because he is a bad person but because many men prefer to hunt not to be hunted. He may never value you because you came too cheap. But here is my advice, although not everyone has what it takes to do this without losing control of their senses. Put yourself where he can always see you or something about you, I mean leave an imprint of you he can see when you are not there so that he can fall in love with you properly and come to do the asking instead. But you must have a heart that has a margin for rejection incase he is still not interested so that you can move on easily. Not everyone can move on easily so don't do it if you can't.

For your relationship issues and questions, send a mail to uneedtotalk40@gmail.com. Your confidentiality is considered.

Uneed2talk:
People know when you like them, they can return the feelings genuinely or take advantage of your like selfishly ...

This statement shows you are inexperienced or Under-experienced (if theres any word like this)..
But before i explain to you why the statement is wrong and Untrue, Are you a male or female??..
So i'll knw if there's any need

On acmepreneur, some people are just naturally lazy, if it is not discovered on time and corrected it becomes very difficult to correct in adulthood. They only move when their comfort zone is totally removed from them.

The sensible ones do well when put into a structure but can hardly create a structure by themselves, they lack the motivation to pick up themselves when they fall especially if there is still something to sustain them no matter how little.


You just have to create a sustainable and worthy platform for him to manage other wise he can hardly start a thing from the scratch. The danger in marrying such men is that if they fall out of job, as long as you still bring in something, they can hardly find their feet. So brace up to either decide you can't cope with that or be ready to take him like that because of his other good sides and see how you can bring him in to sustainance through what you have created.

Deep

Marriage is not compulsory. Marriage is not for everyone. Do not follow the society. Society is confused. Follow your conscience.

Several years ago,I was squating with a relation before I could get my own apartment. During the buisness news, the husband lamented how the market capitalisation had dropped down and how the change in government had led to uncertainty among investors. He predicted a decline in the market share price in the next few years. His wife nodes her head like she was following only to say moments later.

I like the style of her blouse.

I could see the dissapointment in the husbands face. He found it difficult to engage in social- economic discussion with the wife. Here he was discussing serious issues and she was interested in a piece of clothing material. Both of them were from two different worlds.

Today,I heard they were involved in divorce litigation. He was accused of committing adultery. was not surprised. She was a fashion designer with many apprentice working for her. He was a financial analyst .


The relationship was dead from the beginning. It was only a matter of time before it could manifest.We must always be in relationship with like minded individuals as this motivates us in our day to day life. Our partner shapes our life and our thoughts. When we exchange ideas and values with those who have similar goals and inspirations it plays an important role in our


Have you ever wondered why most men get involved in an affair with their co- worker. This is because both spend time sharing their thoughts on similar project. They are like partners. From official discussion to semi- official discussion. From there , It leads to personal discussion. From there, It leads to relationship discussion. He is more open to her than he is to the wife . The affair did not start the day they had their first kiss. Then he says ” If I had met you earlier, I would not have gotten married to my wife.


That sounds harsh but it is reality . He was moved by her beauty when he met her but today, he has learnt that there is more to physical appearance. He desires one he can communicate freely on issues of similar interest.Their work-life and interest are miles apart. Nothing brings them together.


Relationship is no longer about two individuals who want to get married and raise kids.because they have come of age or teaming up to meet our basic need of food, shelter, sex etc Relationship is about one person who is on a mission and discovers another person who is on a similar mission and they team up to embark on facing the challenges together .Relationship is a journey not a destination.Your partner inspire you to become a better version of your self. Not all relationship should lead into marriage. A relationship Should make you better version of yourself while pursuing the mission. The mission is the focus of the relationship and not the partner. You do not complete your partner or look for a partner to complete you. No, you focus on something outside yourselves .


The mission could be to render legal services to those who cannot provide one or to design a more efficient way of generating electricity or reform the lives of ex convicts or to impact values and principles to preteens or to spread the Marxist philosophy to the world or to build a mediation center for conflict resolution or to speak for the freedom of the oppressed.You grow with your partner. When the mission is a long term mission of over twenty years , They may decide to get married. Marriage should never be the mission for any relationship. Marriage may be introduced for long term journey .


If you discover you are on a different path from your partner,do not hurriedly leave the relationship. Ask her to list her about twenty activities she likes to do. List twenty hobbies you enjoy too .Find the hobbies you both enjoy together. If it is music, start singing together. Compose a song Individually and sing it on your anniversary. The point is consciously create a life by engaging in activities together. Ensure It is something you both enjoy so no one feels burnt out. Reignite the spark.


https://tobechispeaks./2020/11/04/a-little-fragrance-of-divorce/