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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did (1745 Views)
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Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by eyinjuege: 10:08pm On May 18, 2020 |
Acidosis: The society is changing, and roles are inadvertently changing. Culture is very fluid and dynamic in its interaction with the modern world. If you understand this concept, you will forever be at peace, and not fight it. Womb is not needed to raise kids. Just a good head on the shoulder is what's needed. Wombs may however be needed to incubate and nurture/raise a fetus till life is born. Afterwards, to your tent o Isreal . If a woman dies giving birth, the child can still be raised by the father single handedly. Not an easy job for anyone whether man or woman, mother or surrogate, father or stepfather. Even during the days formula wasn't available, babies who lost their mothers were nurtured with goat's milk/cow milk. I have seen a case abroad whereby a man took custody of his 2 day old baby , right from the hospital after birth. Mum was a drug addict with lots of issues. They weren't married, and he was awarded full custody of a 2 day old child (from the womb) Anyways, talking about pregnancy- Mothers are sent to the warfront, but not pregnant women, simply because a pregnant person will more or less be a burden on her comrades in the warfront. It's just impractical. Same way you wouldn't send a man recovering from cancer or one with a fracture on his leg to the warfront. While pregnancy may be a normal physiological process, it also comes with it's attending physiological or even atimes pathological problems. That been said, we have female soldiers who after having their children and their body is relatively fully healed, are still moved around the country in the discharge of their duties despite the fact that they have young children at home. Times are really changing. Resistance will only make the journey harder. 6 Likes |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by Nobody: 10:13pm On May 18, 2020 |
eyinjuege: Exactly. We need to adapt to the changing times. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by Acidosis(m): 5:15am On May 19, 2020 |
eyinjuege: I think the attempt to compare a wounded soldier with a pregnant woman is out of place. Moreover, I'm yet to see a country that sends their women to war while leaving the men behind to nurse babies. If you don't see this from the viewpoint of biological makeup then I don't know what else to call it. The example you gave about a drug addict is not out of place btw. I believe in exemptions. You have an example in tomboys. But like you know, a tomboy can never metamorphosed into a male unless, of course, you try to disrupt the biological (not societal) makeup. Also, a g.ay union will never be a preferred option to the union between a man and woman, doesn't matter what the society says. Nature needs something from the male and female to raise new generations. Nature also want us to have se.x (not society), which leads to newborns for continuity purposes. It's nature that makes people give birth to unplanned babies. Society only introduced abortion pills to alter the process but it hasn't stopped the desire for either se.x or newborns. Resistance to this will only end the world. There are exemptions though in people who do not want kids, or a legally binding union. It's not a new phenomenon and has nothing to do with changing times [don't worry, I won't give biblical examples]. Yes, the society is shaping certain norms but the biological (nature) influences are irreplaceable. Men would always be better options for wars just as women will always be better options for birth and nurturing owing to their biological makeup. |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by emmaodet: 6:10am On May 19, 2020 |
Acidosis: Even the so called women sent to war are always kept in the camp to prepare tea and other things for the male soldiers who go to the war front or hot zones and immediately they receive signal that rebels are defeating and approaching the camp which is mostly in the nearest barrack or camp in a town close to the war front, all women, children and female soldiers are evacuated to a farther barrack or camp in the town next. 1 Like |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by crackland: 6:57am On May 19, 2020 |
Hathor5:That's all. There's hardly any job that is balanced in terms of gender ratio (50/50) - it's either men are more, or women are more. And that was the point of the list, to show that your claim about how majority of jobs are gender balanced came off the top of your head with no facts backing it. 5 Likes |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by crackland: 7:05am On May 19, 2020 |
Plead:Not at all. But you're asking the wrong question. Here are the right ones which you can ask your lady friends on the thread: 1. Are they comfortable being married to a man who contributes only 20% to the financial purse of the home while they contribute 80%? 2. When they are done birthing and nursing a child, are they comfortable having the man stay home to be the nanny and housekeeper while they go out to earn the bread? All the above questions are for the long-term, not temporarily. Note that it's women who are naturally the nannies, housekeepers, and less of the financial contributors. So for anyone to even believe that times are changing (as y'all have been announcing) or that the modern times are no longer like the primitive times, then the answers to the above questions would be a definite YES. So please go on, ask away...get your answers from them. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by Nobody: 7:27am On May 19, 2020 |
Hmm. |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by Acidosis(m): 7:40am On May 19, 2020 |
emmaodet:Very true 3 Likes |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by crackland: 7:48am On May 19, 2020 |
emmaodet:Lol, I didn't even want to deal with that army example that was brought up earlier. This is a discussion I've had with someone - a cousin, Major in the Nigerian Army who is stationed in the northern theatre, right at the epicenter of Boko Haram territory. There are no women there, SIMPLE - it's not for argument. That women are recruited into the army does not mean they are sent into battle and like you rightly pointed out, they are mostly stationed at camps and tasked with handling intel. Others are used to interrogate and thoroughly search females who have been captured. The ones who have been trained in aerial surveillance will be flying above (still with a male co-pilot). When it comes down to fighting at the front in any warzone (anywhere in the world) where soldiers spend weeks at a stretch in harsh conditions, they don't want to take a woman who may start seeing her period and then become deadweight to members of her team. Not to mention that even without that, women are just not as strong, fast, or have the stamina to match up with the men in such situations. This is a weak-link no soldier wants to gamble on when you're faced between life and death. Even well-trained dogs see more action on the battlefield than female soldiers. And that is just one occupation, there are countless more like it. Even you sef bruv, you're a sailor right... how many women dey your line of work? As a crane operator, I've only ever met one female operator (she's not even Nigerian) and this is despite the fact that all we need to do to operate these giant machines, is move a few levers and press buttons. 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by emmaodet: 9:26am On May 19, 2020 |
crackland: You are right bro, 100% right. Even in my line of work, the few ladies we have are all officers doing more or less office work like being on bridge operating advance computers and radio communication. None of them are into the rigorous jobs of cleaning, mopping, latching of mooring ropes and wires etc 3 Likes |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by JourneytoEL(f): 9:46am On May 19, 2020 |
crackland:You are still saying the same thing with the op. that women are not in the battle front in nigeria dosen't mean it is so over the world. Remember, africa used to have the Dahomey female warriors,Queen Amina, Yaa Asantewa and many women who reached the frontline in battles. But, now, the average nigerian female believes she has no business there because that is what she was brought up believing. I am female and i hate to say this 80% of young female nigerians are not ambitious. They are very comfortable chatting on twitter,gossiping on blogs,looking beautiful and looking for the best kayanmata, attraction oil and other modified jazz to land them a good catch in the market. Even when they want to work they are very comfortable with competing with their fellow females by selling bags, shoes, hair,cream etc. This is because we grew up believing it is the work of men to hustle and be wealthy while it is our duty to "leech" on a wealthy man. We grew up watching cinderella and sleeping beauty where a prince must save you else you die. Even the few smart ones that enroll themselves in military are not interested in moving up the ranks and contributing seriously to the force, they rather stay gossiping and preparing food. Take a look at the movies we produce especially on africa magic epic, 90% of the storyline includes a poor village orphan girl will be suffering till she meets a rich man from the city that will marry her and change her life. the question is, why can't the poor orphan girl, write jamb, get a scholarship, get a good job or start a profitable business and take her damn self out of poverty? why must she wait for the rich prince? 1 Like |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by CsRockefeller(m): 9:46am On May 19, 2020 |
Lol. Who said anything has changed? |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by JourneytoEL(f): 10:09am On May 19, 2020 |
Before the world war 1, it was unheard of in europe that a woman is working. The women then only do domestic chores. Then, the war came and most of the men were taken to battle, lo and behold women came out working because they could not afford to feed themselves and their kids staying at home doing nothing. The men came back and were surprised to see women working. God forbid, but if something similar happens in Nigeria, you will be shocked to see women moving cranes, forming vigilantes and doing things only men do. Why? because they don't do those things just because we were brought up believing we are not meant to suffer, just be beautiful and enjoy yourself while sufferhead men will hustle and bring their money to your feet. And most importantly, many women here lack ambition, they are too laid back, that is why they don't bother challenging the status quo. in the university, you will see a class of 50 females and 3 boys, yet a boy is the courserep because none of the girls want to use the precious time for gossip to be pursuing lectures, a church department with 8 girls and 2 boys, yet the a boy will be the leader and so on. It is just the societal expectations for the guy to do the dirty work and bring his hard labour to the feet of the low ambitious , pretty female. How many rich guys do you see marrying a construction worker? how many oil company workers will want to marry a crane operator? but, you will see them running after models and beauty queens and giving them the la vida loca life. So younger ladies see this things and aim to be the lazy slay queen who will do nothing yet live a better life than the average hardworking woman. And, over time it becomes a culture 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by Nobody: 10:48am On May 19, 2020 |
Interesting ... |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by crackland: 12:23pm On May 19, 2020 |
JourneytoEL:So what is responsible for all that? Nature or society? With all the talk about how times have changed, are Nigerian women really ready to change the above narrative, or should the change ONLY happen on the man's part? Are Nigerian women really ready to stop waiting for men to deliver them by increasing their financial status? I don't think so... Reality does not show it. Nothing changed, it only evolved. 7 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by crackland: 12:26pm On May 19, 2020 |
emmaodet:And there is usually AC on the bridge abi, or at least a good view with fresh air. The work no dey strenuous. 4 Likes |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by Hathor5(f): 12:56pm On May 19, 2020 |
Hathor5: crackland: Hathor5: |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by emmaodet: 4:26pm On May 19, 2020 |
crackland: Ofcourse, AC 24/7 with regular tea and coffee breaks 1 Like |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by JourneytoEL(f): 7:26am On May 20, 2020 |
crackland:its still society. You are more likely to see women ready to change the narrative amongst the upper class members of the nigerian society, but you the middle class and lower class ehn, i have personally met women who told me who feminism epp, they prefer the present state of things where they wait for a man to bring money to their feet. 2 Likes |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by crackland: 8:34am On May 20, 2020 |
JourneytoEL:Lmao..you have completely turned facts on its head just to make a flawed point. Name one Nigerian woman belonging to the economic upper class who identifies and vocalizes as a feminist. Feminism in Nigeria is the tonic for women who grew up in poor/less than average homes. A woman who from childhood had always been exposed to the best education, the best opportunities, unlimited funds from daddy/mummy, these are the ones that never needed feminism to be anything - they already had access to the things women like you think feminism will achieve for you. While you're right that a woman from the upper class will not be seeking desperately to marry a man who will increase her financial status, she still won't marry down. Her ideal man will be from the same circle, and this also proves that nothing has changed. If women really think change has come, they would marry men with less financial weight regardless of their status... because from the ages, it's always been men marrying down. The only change women want is on the part of men, not themselves...and that will not work. It's either all of us remain primitive, or all of us become modern. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by JourneytoEL(f): 1:23pm On May 20, 2020 |
crackland:Firstly, many rich women are not vocal because of security issues in the country. Piping low is key to enjoying a long life as a rich woman here. I have interacted with a good number of them and they share feministic views. Also,the major reason most women don't marry down is because most men tend to have esteem issues because their wives are richer. Although i have met two exceptional cases, one the man still rides his cab till date in the morning, goes to his state ministry office, and later in the evening rides his cab, while his wife is a super rich career woman driving a venza, yet they are very happy both in and out. the other, the wife is a successful lawyer, very humble and nice, while the hubby works closely with her,helps in the house with the kids if she has to travel, infact they are so close i initially thought they were both lawyers. Now, the man is been mocked in the street for being a "sissy man". A woman cannot be humble enough for a typical nigerian man with esteem issues. Even if you are lucky enough to get a man with a good esteem, his poor family and friends will keep taunting him for been a "sissy" till he changes. That's why women love to marry their class and above. 1 Like |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by bukatyne(f): 2:09pm On May 20, 2020 |
JourneytoEL: Just curious Who are the people mocking this man as a sissy on the streets? |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by Nobody: 2:36pm On May 20, 2020 |
Lalasticlala what do you think? |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by liberalchick(f): 2:36pm On May 20, 2020 |
JourneytoEL:No lies detected. 2 Likes |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by crackland: 3:40pm On May 20, 2020 |
JourneytoEL:Lol, reading from you so far has been leaving me in stitches. That you actually believe what you're typing makes it all the more worth it. That someone shares feministic views does not make them a feminist. Both my grandmothers (late) had feministic views if we are to observe how they lived their lives as women in male-dominated societies. The problem with your generation is that you think carrying a tag of feminist accords you some special privilege which your parents and grandparents NEVER had. Wealthy women are not vocal about feminism because of security issues in the country... Security issues? Then you go on to make a point using very exceptional cases of women marrying down - you don't even know if at the time the marriage was contracted, they were both at the same social class and the woman just moved up faster while married... Nonetheless, still an exception and simply not enough to prove anything. You then finished up your write-up claiming that women ONLY marry up because they're worried that the men they marry will have self-esteem issues or be called sissies.. This ain't even worth trying to counter because anyone with half a brain knows it's a big fat lie. Lol.. Nigerian women don't marry down simply because they are looking to improve their own financial and social status by marrying up, nothing else... You already agreed with this two comments earlier and blamed it on society, so I wonder what you're now trying to sell here by making spurious claims. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by Karleb(m): 4:17pm On May 20, 2020 |
People often believe nature have a sense but the truth is, nature is senseless. It doesn't care weather it dies or live, we are the ones seeing patterns. |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by JourneytoEL(f): 10:30pm On May 20, 2020 |
bukatyne:we wanted to do a meeting and the leader refused to call him,saying he would rather call his wife because she is the head of the home because she feeds him |
Re: Nature Didn’t Wire Anybody To Be Anything,society Did by bukatyne(f): 9:40am On May 21, 2020 |
JourneytoEL: Ouch! What a shame. |
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