Godlovesyou28:
Wow! I just woke up from my "pill-induced" sleep to see this. Out pouring of concern
What can I say?

For all your sincere love and concern am so grateful and overwhelmingly encouraged

for those who find it hard to believe me, it doesn't matter if you believe me or not.

For the those who have suggested that I go back to my original source, trust me when I say that "I have squeezed out every drop of juice from that orange". I can't push further and will never use undue force when I should show gratitude, but your pragmatic approach only shows how willing you are to help solve my problem.

For those who want me to approach it spiritually (I have been told many things, especially that my real mum is alive but will not dare contact me), I have been praying though sometimes my faith challenges me but I am growing by Gods Grace. Thanks

Godlovesyou28:


I can't even hold my tears back, my heart is bursting out. I don't even know why I feel this amount of pain. My birth certificate says I was born in a private hospital that don't exist(I have gone there and its an office complex) and mother's name, occupation and signature is that of my mum(now step mum).

adebayour26:

Jesus!!

I told you so.
Two things are involved: physical or spiritual (am sure of the latter)

Sunrise258:



You are very lucky. My case is a very pathetic one. I finished secondary school in 2002, gained admission in 2009 all to drop out at 400 level (final year). I figured everything was wrong with me but I was alone in the struggle cause by then, I've become an orphan. So I went to one C&S church and dumped myself there for 5 years. The entire church would pray for me and myself too would pray for myself althrough the 5 years until the unexpected was revealed. My uncle's wife, (my dad's immediate elder brother's wife) had collected my glory when I was a baby of 2 years!!! I got it back through the mercy of God a day to my 32nd birthday. Meaning she was with my glory for 30 good years! The 30 formative years of my life!! I've gotten it back now but no job, no degree, no money to do trade or go back to school. I am in my late 30s and useless.

Godlovesyou28:
I type this with so much pain and sense of loss. I found out about two years ago that my step mum is not my real mum (everyone keeps wondering why am just waking up to the obvious).

I grew up being hated by my mum's (now step mum) family, usually beaten, overworked and deprived; but I was told that I was being trained to be strong since I was the first daughter by my mum (now step mum). At age seven I cooked all the meals except my (dads soups) and did all the cleaning. By age ten I cook every single meal at home, wash all the cloths and Iron, clean the house and run all the errands while my siblings both older and younger play and watch TV. I always felt my mum (step mum) will love me just a little bit more if I worked harder; she always told me I was special (and different) and that she loves me so much but does not know how to show it. . It hurt me deeply then that I was different so much so that its expression translated to pain; but that's in my past now and I have no regrets.

Fast forward, am all grown up and fully independent, then a distant relative I helped told me two years ago that my mum is not my real mum with facts. For me it was a relief (I thought there was something wrong with me that made me unloveable and to be treated different and given less, but I know better now). I am more confident knowing she never loved me and that it was no fault of mine.

Now, I just can't move on knowing I have a mother and I want to meet her and ask her questions (why she would dump her child for another woman to raise? Why she never came back to take me? Etc). And also if we could catch-up and be friends maybe.

The problem is that no one wants to tell me anything since most of my family members fear my dad and keep referring me back to my dad; I visited my dad and begged him to tell me who she is (I cried so much that he had to beg me to stop), he asked me to go so he can discuss it with my mum (step mum) but now shouts me down each time I bring up the topic.

I want to find my real mother . l don't know why I can't sleep or think about anything else. I need closure. I have been advised to sue my dad and am considering it. Please help me, I can't bear knowing I have a mother out there and not know who she is. Please help!

Godlovesyou28:


I never said she was wicked... She gave me what she could spare for a child not hers and am thankful but I just need my mum.

Please do you know anything that can help me sleep?

fertilewomb:


I don't know why I feel your dad comitted a very secret atrocity. it could be that your dad slept or took his late brothers wife and had you through her, which is why he doesn't want to tell you whom your mom is. It's a top secret he's been keeping with his wife and I don't think they are ready to divulge it to anyone let alone you.
Your dad comitted a formidable and shameful Taboo,which is why he doesn't want to disclose the identity of your real mother

People have children aside wedlock all the time and don't find it difficult telling the children who the mother or father is. why is yours different

otikpoko:



You took the words out of my mouth.

It has happened.

My friend, her husband slept with his brothers wife and had 3 children with his brothers wife while the husband and wife had two biological coming from them, his brother got 3 from another man's land making it a total of five kids and it was extremely top secret and those who got to find out the truth, they silenced them in through death becasue it was a serious taboo but one thing led to another and when the truth came out, the whole family scattered!

Elxandre:

Actually she was. Her masterplan if you ask me, was emotional torture.
She made you think you were her daughter but tortured you for several years, ruining your plans with intentionally bad advise, making you go to seminary school just like your brother just to kill off your mum's lineage.
I'm quite pissed she's winning with your decision not to marry and your brother's catholic priesthood which forbids him from marriage too.

What a crafty woman!

The worst kind of wickedness is this pretensiously passive kind!

grandstar:
Godlovesyou28

How far? Have you found your birth mother?

If not, another tactic is to give your dad the silent treatment.

Tell him you'll cut him off until he tells you who your mother is and stick to it.

Don't let him guilt trip you into changing your mind. Stand your ground. He'll break within a year.

Godlovesyou28:



I tried that too but his BP shot up and his doctor asked me to stop; he has fully recovered now.
I was recently discharged myself(I was treated for depression). I never knew I was depressed until everything happened so fast
I guess I have tried my best. Everything around me needs my attention.
Am getting too old for the constant crying so I have stopped thinking about the things that hurt so terribly, I have found a friend in my therapist and she has introduced me to knew hobbies.
Thanks for asking but please stop. I have stopped; I have stopped striving for answers that could cost the life of another person (I don't want to hurt my dad). I have also tried every other logical and legal means.
Thanks from the depth of my soul. But... Stop.

Godlovesyou28:
I type this with so much pain and sense of loss. I found out about two years ago that my step mum is not my real mum (everyone keeps wondering why am just waking up to the obvious).

I grew up being hated by my mum's (now step mum) family, usually beaten, overworked and deprived; but I was told that I was being trained to be strong since I was the first daughter by my mum (now step mum). At age seven I cooked all the meals except my (dads soups) and did all the cleaning. By age ten I cook every single meal at home, wash all the cloths and Iron, clean the house and run all the errands while my siblings both older and younger play and watch TV. I always felt my mum (step mum) will love me just a little bit more if I worked harder; she always told me I was special (and different) and that she loves me so much but does not know how to show it. . It hurt me deeply then that I was different so much so that its expression translated to pain; but that's in my past now and I have no regrets.

Fast forward, am all grown up and fully independent, then a distant relative I helped told me two years ago that my mum is not my real mum with facts. For me it was a relief (I thought there was something wrong with me that made me unloveable and to be treated different and given less, but I know better now). I am more confident knowing she never loved me and that it was no fault of mine.

Now, I just can't move on knowing I have a mother and I want to meet her and ask her questions (why she would dump her child for another woman to raise? Why she never came back to take me? Etc). And also if we could catch-up and be friends maybe.

The problem is that no one wants to tell me anything since most of my family members fear my dad and keep referring me back to my dad; I visited my dad and begged him to tell me who she is (I cried so much that he had to beg me to stop), he asked me to go so he can discuss it with my mum (step mum) but now shouts me down each time I bring up the topic.

I want to find my real mother . l don't know why I can't sleep or think about anything else. I need closure. I have been advised to sue my dad and am considering it. Please help me, I can't bear knowing I have a mother out there and not know who she is. Please help!