Hello guys sorry to bother you with my personal problems

I am a guy who was brought up in my uncle's home, i practically grew up knowing my uncle and his family as my own though i am aware that they are not my biological family. He has 8 children and it so happens that i am the eldest in the family, there is 8 months age difference between me and his eldest child but we all love each other (so it seems so far) except their mom who resents me and always feels like i am taking her children's place in the family, this is because my uncle has genuine love for me and always refers me as his first son.

To cut the whole story short i always have this anxiety when it comes to controlling my siblings as an elder brother would. I am always anxious when i want to control any unruly behavior or ask them to do something, i always do not want to get on their nerves and cause a fight even though i am 100% sure they will listen. I always show them genuine love whenever they do something good but when it comes to controlling their excess i am always anxious and even though my uncle gives me 100% support i just can't cope with such situations.

Please i need genuine advice on how to handle siblings.

What exactly do you want us to advice you on?

Continue that way but always tell them when they do something wrong. So that your husband wife won't see anything to complain about which may reduce the love your brother have for you.

i don't know what to say

You need to control yourself by stating your problems in clear term

Op how old are u? What class are u in? Did u learn any skill?Or better still are u working?


If u are still in sch, I will advise u learn a skill in addition to ur schooling.

You need to stray planning ur life now.God forbid anything happens to Ur Uncle,I guarantee u,ur uncle's wife will show u pepper.

When you say your siblings, do you mean your cousins?

How old are you OP?

Always be fair in your dealings with your siblings and they will naturally respect you.
Never try to show them who's the boss, and treat them as your equals.
When you want to correct them, do it same way you would correct your colleague at work- respectfully. No need for shouting or beating them.
Be there for them, and let them be free with you, so they can share their minds with you.

Just continue with ur dealing wif them as long as there is peace. u sound more like an introvert

cenmysterio:
Hello guys sorry to bother you with my personal problems

I am a guy who was brought up in my uncle's home, i practically grew up knowing my uncle and his family as my own though i am aware that they are not my biological family. He has 8 children and it so happens that i am the eldest in the family, there is 8 months age difference between me and his eldest child but we all love each other (so it seems so far) except their mom who resents me and always feels like i am taking her children's place in the family, this is because my uncle has genuine love for me and always refers me as his first son.

To cut the whole story short i always have this anxiety when it comes to controlling my siblings as an elder brother would. I am always anxious when i want to control any unruly behavior or ask them to do something, i always do not want to get on their nerves and cause a fight even though i am 100% sure they will listen. I always show them genuine love whenever they do something good but when it comes to controlling their excess i am always anxious and even though my uncle gives me 100% support i just can't cope with such situations.

Please i need genuine advice on how to handle siblings.

I don't understand why you refer them as siblings because they are your cousins

Anyway, I think its because of the presence of their mum and you don't want to have issues with her despite the support you get from your uncle

You have to summon courage to do that else you will not be able to even caution your own child

But do it with full caution before it turns to another thing

1. Ally with your Uncle's oldest child whom you're agemates with, to correct and guide the younger ones the right way. That way, if you're blamed in the process by the mom (who resents) you, you'll have some support.

2. Let the parents correct them over serious matters. You may draw your Uncle's attention to these things, but let them handle the situation themselves.

I love the fact that you took them as your siblings. It's heart warming .. Don't control them.. just tell them as a big brother that.John, Joy or Cynthia please stop doing this, and this might be the consequences within the family if u continue and dad won't like it.. approaches to issues sometimes matters when handling issues..

considering the fact that you were not biologically related, u have to bring in your maturity card and play it at all times.. Be subtle about it with the knowledge that one of the Elders of the house does not approve of the authority u have in the house. She might conspire with one of your siblings to frustrate u or bring you down in front of your Dad (uncle ). Taking a deep breath before doing anything is important in that house so that you can coordinate your thoughts..

Your aim should be to lead them, not to control them - you don't control a sane human being. Leadership is a calling to serve those around you/your followers, not a call to oppress and suppress them - a true leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way. If you follow this step, you won't have a problem walking and working with the sane ones among them.

However, if you discover any insane one in the cause of leading them, the honourable thing to do is report them to your uncle.

In summary, take to conscientiousness and you'll be fine.

Their parents should be the one controlling their excesses, it's not your job.

You don't have to turn a blind eye to everything they do though, just a simple correction should do...but if they refuse to take heed, comot your hand jeje.

Thank yo all for your advice.

I will do my best to act accordingly