I am planning on doing something but I want to double check if I am making the right decision.

I was in a relationship for 2years( in Feb it was two years).
- I broke up recently
- cheated on me twice
- have a hard time communicating with him.
- he lives in a dream(unrealistic goals like being president in 2023 and just earn A lil above 100k and he is young) I don't have a problem with being president but not in 2023 and I am evil because I don't believe it.
- has this bigger that life look but not as full as he claim to be. Publicly looks perfect and privately it's just mouth. I can't deal I like to be as I am. Grow before I blow, not blow to grow( get me?) (Gets him in trouble at times)

Part 2
I have been friends with someone else just when I met him and we have maintained the friendship since, when the guy above was messing up, he was there. I know his feelings towards me and I was mutual but I don't know how to double date and I can't cheat, so I told him to back off so I can fix my relationship ( we were having issues major onces and didn't want to leave I'm a sucker for commitment) [/color] I hope you are still reading, this is not a story I'm just trying to make it light. It even feels like a story as I'm typing because I have concealed my identity.[color=#000000]


Part 3.
This year my friend and I started talking again and I was already tired of my relationship, issues upon issues. Wasn't sexually attracted to him, I fake it all the time. Pretend to laugh at his jokes in public, I make faces when we chatting I can't air my views. Felt like I was in a cage. Spoke to my boyfriend then about it, no change.( Everyone thinks we are perfect).


Part 3b
So I was falling deep for my friend and he told me again how he felt this time I didn't push him away. He is not as rich as my bf but he was real and honest and I could be myself and trust him. So my boyfriend and I had another issue, so I walked away sharp sharp and told my friend I'm single then we started dating almost immediately. I think that's whr the problem began.


Part 4.

Then I was reminded constantly by my bf that I was a cheat before he saw our chat before I left, I cheated a wrong foundation (religious us)(still hidding my current relationship). Etc then I was always shy with my new boyfriend. I have not sense of humor around him again(only when we see, online I'm always chatty) I'm so not comfortable. This is the third time we are seeing, (today the third time) and it was the most boring outing I have every had in my entire life (because I do have strong feelings for him, I couldn't even look him in the eye, no conversation, it was so awkward)(even people I don't like I still enjoy myself because I pride myself in being free)(he even said he doesn't even know what we are doing).


Finally.
We spoke about it this evening how awkward I have been and he said he would get tired of trying and I feel I lost something. So before he breaks my heart because we have not spoken since and I don't plan on speaking to him for a while, I want to kukuma remove myself from the picture and let him stop trying and ghost him And let him go and start another relationship because I don't understand why my head will be thinking of being free with him and dying to see him and when I do I give the most uptight and awkward dates.


Please help me out, tried to make it funny so I can sleep tonight. Should I just walk away because I cant take it if he does.

Wow that is loooooonnnng!!

Well it maTter of choice ...

jgbemson1:
Well it maTter of choice ...

Thank you I guess

Part 5: listen to ur heart.

You guys punishing yourself... no forcing to be in love, Just kukuma continue removing him from your mind,the better for both of you.

donbachi:
Part 5: listen to ur heart.

Lol.....

donbachi:
Part 5: listen to ur heart.

Lol too bad my heart told me to post first

Shugargal:
You guys punishing yourself... no forcing to be in love, Just kukuma continue removing him from your mind,the better for both of you.

Thank you

We can't say anything because we haven't heard your boyfriend's side of the story.
Anyway, if you don't see a future in any relationship, please walk away.

Nelx:
We can't say anything because we haven't heard your boyfriend's side of the story.
Anyway, if you don't see a future in any relationship, please walk away.

This is like one of the weirdest thing I have experienced. Like someone can't wait to see him, next I can't talk or even met his eyes.

Thank you

From the pattern of your outburst write ups, deal with your "self." Too much excessive and exaggerated self importance, and emotional detachment at any issues, even the minors..

You guys invested in toxic relationship. Just walk away and never jump too quick to the next because the previous picture in your mind is yet to slide away. Heal yourself with time and patient. No hassles!

Wolgrace:
From the pattern of your outburst write ups, deal with your "self." Too much excessive and exaggerated self importance, and emotional detachment at any issues, even the minors.. Feminist traits indeed.

Won't take it personally, a lil hurt by your statement. Maybe you are right. I cannot come and be crying lemme kukuma detach myself.

Want to add, I actually feel insecure around him, very insecure.

You have already made up your mind to end the relationship the guy, this long epistle castigating both his character and surreptitious dealings with another fellow says as much.

So why don't you already? Is he owing you money?

Wolgrace:
From the pattern of your outburst write ups, deal with your "self." Too much excessive and exaggerated self importance, and emotional detachment at any issues, even the minors..

You guys invested in toxic relationship. Just walk away and never jump too quick to the next because the previous picture in your mind is yet to slide away. Heal yourself with time and patient. No hassles!

Thanks to the bottom idea

Farki:
You have already made up your mind to end the relationship the guy, this long epistle castigating both his character and surreptitious dealings with another fellow says as much.

So why don't you already? Is he owing you money?

I have left the first guy, I'm with my friend now...

Lol. Don't remove yourself from the picture.

Face your fears. Don't chicken out like that.
He'll only quit if you stop trying and give up.

The fact that you're not free around him means you're not comfortable. That's okay. Stop being hard on yourself. With time, you'll be “free”.

I suggest you only visit places with intention to have fun. Like parks, cinemas, art galleries etc.

Janeberryy:


Won't take it personally, a lil hurt by your statement. Maybe you are right. I cannot come and be crying lemme kukuma detach myself.

Want to add, I actually feel insecure around him, very insecure.

Not meant to hurt you. Pardon please. Already modified but you were so damn fast. Seems your network signal is not from this world.

Janeberryy:


I have left the first guy, I'm with my friend now...

Oh right.

After going back and reading again it is clear that you do not like this friend, your behaviour shows that you are forcing yourself to maintain this relationship. If you have a problem with him speak up and tell him, if you aren't interested just say you aren't comfortable dating (under current circumstances) and take time for yourself.

If you ghost him he might just end up being confused and resenting you. One thing about men is that they appreciate honesty.

Ningen:
Lol. Don't remove yourself from the picture.

Face your fears. Don't chicken out like that.
He'll only quit if you stop trying and give up.

The fact that you're not free around him means you're not comfortable. That's okay. Stop being hard on yourself. With time, you'll be “free”.

I suggest you only visit places with intention to have fun. Like parks, cinemas, art galleries etc.

I don't want him to leave first, I can't take it. What if he won't wait till I'm free. I'm feeling like the earlier the better for my heart. Thank you anyway, will think about it.

Wolgrace:


Not meant to hurt you. Pardon please. Already modified but you were so damn fast. Seems your network signal is not from this world.

4g to the world... Typing fast cause of the way I feel..lol

A very useless story written by a kindergartener.
Go back to primary school and learn how to write.

Farki:


Oh right.

After going back and reading again it is clear that you do not like this friend, your behaviour shows that you are forcing yourself to maintain this relationship. If you have a problem with him speak up and tell him, if you aren't interested just say you aren't comfortable dating (under current circumstances) and take time for yourself.

If you ghost him he might just end up being confused and resenting you. One thing about men is that they appreciate honesty.

I like him gan, but in always shy and I almost concerned about what I say or wear, since we started dating. He said he feels like just an odinary dude. Myabe I just need time

ValCon888:
A very useless story written by a kindergartener.
Go back to primary school and learn how to write.

Ok valcon

what do you want? that's the question you haven't been able to answer yourself.

my advice: take a break off both. and make sure you answer the question above.
it's not compulsory to be in a relationship, no certification or whatsoever.

Janeberryy:



I like him gan, but in always shy and I almost concerned about what I say or wear, since we started dating. He said he feels like just an odinary dude. Myabe I just need time

If you don't mind me asking how old are you?

Really as long as you look neat and the clothes are appropriate most guys won't really care about what you're wearing.

Once you're dating most guys won't care about or just blatantly ignore a lot of the things women are typically insecure about.

You're good, relax, with most things you'll get used to it with constant experience.

But if you can't take the stress then excuse yourself from him, relationship is not by force.

you should leave him, i can see you have a lot of sense and the last thing you may wanna lose is your sanity. i don't know about all other issues you raised here, i'm no relationship expert but building castles in the air is not good for a man. I can use myself as an example, as a young doctor its okay for me to say i have paid my dues and deserve the accolades but i don't think that's enough. if i carry my laptop and hit the street with my niggars anybody can be like you sure say this guy go school? As a man i like all the good things but i can't get them by wishful thinking, my desires for tomorrow must match my actions of today

Janeberryy:


I don't want him to leave first, I can't take it. What if he won't wait till I'm free. I'm feeling like the earlier the better for my heart. Thank you anyway, will think about it.

It's not a race.
It doesn't matter who “walks” away first.

The PAIN is the same as long as you care.

Trying to seek comfort by convincing yourself that you made the choice to quit when clearly your hands were tied is delusional. Seek HELP.

Odoogu:
what do you want? that's the question you haven't been able to answer yourself.

my advice: take a break off both. and make sure you answer the question above.
it's not compulsory to be in a relationship, no certification or whatsoever.

Ok

You want us to help you convince yourself that you breaking up with him is alright abi?

Ok, please break up with him and let us rest. SMH. Let me get this straight...

You were in a relationship, but you allowed some other dude to toast you very well and slowly you lost your emotional touch with your former boyfriend, so you left him.
You don't seem to know how the mind works.

You had been cheating emotionally and you're finally cheated physically, Now that you are double dating, you feel it's OK to ghost him, maybe he will forget about you.

Finally, you don't want him to leave you but you want to leave him you think you're smart, but all I see here is the most confused person ever. How old are you again?

You already tried your former boyfriend and judged him before us, now you want us to help you do is to validate your decision to mess this other relationship up right? Ok you have done well.

Please do what ever the hell you want to do.

I may have misunderstood your write up, because you are not quite expressive.

Janeberryy:


This is like one of the weirdest thing I have experienced. Like someone can't wait to see him, next I can't talk or even met his eyes.

Thank you

Farki:


If you don't mind me asking how old are you?

Really as long as you look neat and the clothes are appropriate most guys won't really care about what you're wearing.

Once you're dating most guys won't care about or just blatantly ignore a lot of the things women are typically insecure about.

You're good, relax, with most things you'll get used to it with constant experience.

But if you can't take the stress then excuse yourself from him, relationship is not by force.

I am not a kid oo, I can't explain the insecurity.

Thank you

Is your surname confusion?

You just don't know what you want yet... Still under 25