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My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life - Family - Nairaland

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My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by blackangel0403(m): 5:51am On Sep 07
Hi guys, I i need your sincere advice pls.

My sister is a divorcee with two kids she is solely responsible for. Life has not been fair with her.

Finally, God brought a cute man who is based in UK her way, the man is willing to marry her and take her to the states, he has come to see our parents and also took her to see his, they have agreed to tie the nut in December this year.

The guy is currently in Nigeria and has been begging my sister to get pregnant for him, my sister knows for sure he will marry her once she is pregnant but doesn’t want to so that pregnancy doesn’t stop her from meeting other guys pending when he comes to pay her dowry. Note, they met in the club but the man still overlooked it and still proposed marriage to her.

Sincerely speaking, she wants to settle down with him but her problem is that she doesn’t want to get pregnant and stay alone all by herself pending when the man will take her and the kids to the uk, she wants to take in when she has moved to the uk, but then she is scared she might loose him before then as they are already having misunderstandings been that my sister likes hanging out with friends and going clubbing which doesn’t go well with the guy.

Now the guy is having double mind on if he can go ahead with the marriage or not, I have adviced her to take in for the man and by dec her dowry will be paid but she is adamant, pls what is the best option for her in this situation?


Take in for this guy now he is in Nigeria and secure him or wait till December and risk loosing him, note he is a very cute guy and every girls dream, my sister also is tired of life and wants to settle down, if she takes in now, by dec her pregnancy will be 3 months, she is also bothered abt wat people will say on why she took in befor she was married to the guy, my parents also especially my dad will frown at it but dey don’t know that life has not fair with her and she needs a man to call her own. Should she careless abt my parents and what people will say and take in or wait and do the proper marriage before she takes in?

She is 35 years old with two kids, no other suitor insight too.

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Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by tyup(m): 5:57am On Sep 07
me I don't even know what to say undecided

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Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by JeffreyJames(m): 6:00am On Sep 07
I wonder who came up with the idea that being married means "settling down" . What an irony lol


OP when condition don dey enter to getting married, e get as e be o. Is the guy marrying her for the sole purpose of bearing children or he is marrying her because he loves her?

As for me that "take in" before getting married is HorseSh*t. I believe the guy knows how desperate your sister is to "settle down" so he is taking advantage. She should not give in. Make small respect still remain.

934 Likes 78 Shares

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by FamousMonk: 6:00am On Sep 07
Question your sister.
Pressure her to confess.
I think she is no longer fertile and she has lost her womb due to so many abortion attempts..
She strikes me like someone who has an itchy and antsy kpekus.
But nevertheless,marriage should be built on love,communication and trust which this union is obviously bereft of.
You might just be encouraging her to toe the path of perdition.
No sane woman needs a man to survive in this modern day..

76 Likes 7 Shares

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by tolugar: 6:08am On Sep 07
My dear op.

That guy has no intentions of taking her to UK.

Na baby mama things he is looking for. Once he takes in and the dowery is paid then voooooommmmm

From one story to another.

Pls don’t push your sis. She know what she is doing. Once she gets to UK she can take in.

Either the guy take it or leave it.

He is looking for naija wife.


blackangel0403:
Hi guys, i need your sincere advice pls, my sister is a divorcee with two kids she is solely responsible for, life has not been fair with her, finally God brought a cute man who is based in uk her way, the man is willing to marry her and take her to the states, he has come to see our parents and also took her to see his, they have agreed to tie the nut in dec this year, the guy is currently in Nigeria and has been begging my sister to get pregnant for him, my sister knows for sure he will marry her once’s she is pregnant but doesn’t want to so that pregnancy doesn’t stop her from meeting other guys pending when he comes to pay her dowry, note, they met in the club but the man still overlooked it and still proposed marriage to her, sincerely speaking she wants to settle down with him but her problem is that she doesn’t want to get pregnant and stay alone all by herself pending when the man will take her and the kids to the uk, she wants to take in when she has moved to the uk, but then she is scared she might loose him befor then as they are already having misunderstandings been that my sister likes hanging out with friends and going clubbing which doesn’t go well with the guy, now the guy is having double mind on if he can go ahead with the marriage or not, I have adviced her to take in for the man and by dec her dowry will be payed but she is adamant, pls what is the best option for her in this situation? Take in for this guy now he is in Nigeria and secure him or wait till December and risk loosing him, note he is a very cute guy and every girls dream, my sister also is tired of life and wants to settle down, if she takes in now, by dec her pregnancy will be 3 months, she is also bothered abt wat people will say on why she took in befor she was married to the guy, my parents also especially my dad will frown at it but dey don’t know that life has not fair with her and she needs a man to call her own. Should she careless abt my parents and what people will say and take in or wait and do the proper marriage befor she takes in? She is 35 years old with two kids, no other suitor insight too.
it or leave it.
Maybe guy man is looking for naija wife.

582 Likes 25 Shares

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by greatnaija01: 6:08am On Sep 07
you all look at the wrong thing... WHAT IF THIS SO CALLED CUTE MAN.... changes after your sister gets pregnant... ?

WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS IN THOSE THREE MONTHS that cancels the wedding.


See, PREGNANCY DOES NOT TIE ANY MAN DOWN.... your sister who likes clubbing is right to be scared. But her clubbing must stop... Its not a responsible life o to be clubbing at 35? And YOU CAN NOT TRUST A MAN YOU MET AT THE CLUB,

Juliet Ibrahim met her EX HUBBY in a stripper club... look at how it turned out... IT ENDED IN A BAD WAY.

See, if the man has money, let him do court wedding first... which is so cheap and then he can get her pregnant.


PLS BE WISE O.


blackangel0403:
Hi guys, i need your sincere advice pls, my sister is a divorcee with two kids she is solely responsible for, life has not been fair with her, finally God brought a cute man who is based in uk her way, the man is willing to marry her and take her to the states, he has come to see our parents and also took her to see his, they have agreed to tie the nut in dec this year, the guy is currently in Nigeria and has been begging my sister to get pregnant for him, my sister knows for sure he will marry her once’s she is pregnant but doesn’t want to so that pregnancy doesn’t stop her from meeting other guys pending when he comes to pay her dowry, note, they met in the club but the man still overlooked it and still proposed marriage to her, sincerely speaking she wants to settle down with him but her problem is that she doesn’t want to get pregnant and stay alone all by herself pending when the man will take her and the kids to the uk, she wants to take in when she has moved to the uk, but then she is scared she might loose him befor then as they are already having misunderstandings been that my sister likes hanging out with friends and going clubbing which doesn’t go well with the guy, now the guy is having double mind on if he can go ahead with the marriage or not, I have adviced her to take in for the man and by dec her dowry will be payed but she is adamant, pls what is the best option for her in this situation? Take in for this guy now he is in Nigeria and secure him or wait till December and risk loosing him, note he is a very cute guy and every girls dream, my sister also is tired of life and wants to settle down, if she takes in now, by dec her pregnancy will be 3 months, she is also bothered abt wat people will say on why she took in befor she was married to the guy, my parents also especially my dad will frown at it but dey don’t know that life has not fair with her and she needs a man to call her own. Should she careless abt my parents and what people will say and take in or wait and do the proper marriage befor she takes in? She is 35 years old with two kids, no other suitor insight too.

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Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by GraGra247(m): 6:09am On Sep 07
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Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by blackangel0403(m): 6:11am On Sep 07
FamousMonk:
Question your sister.
Pressure her to confess.
I think she is no longer fertile and she has lost her womb due to so many abortion attempts..
She strikes me like someone who has an itchy and antsy kpekus.
But nevertheless,marriage should be built on love,communication and trust which this union is obviously bereft of.
You might just be encouraging her to toe the path of perdition.lol, she is very much fertile
No sane woman needs a man to survive in this modern day..

1 Like

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by blackangel0403(m): 6:13am On Sep 07
Thanks
greatnaija01:
you all look at the wrong thing... WHAT IF THIS SO CALLED CUTE MAN.... changes after your sister gets pregnant... ?

WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS IN THOSE THREE MONTHS that cancels the wedding.


See, PREGNANCY DOES NOT TIE ANY MAN DOWN.... your sister who likes clubbing is right to be scared. But her clubbing must stop... Its not a responsible life o to be clubbing at 35? And YOU CAN NOT TRUST A MAN YOU MET AT THE CLUB,

Juliet Ibrahim met her EX HUBBY in a stripper club... look at how it turned out... IT ENDED IN A BAD WAY.

See, if the man has money, let him do court wedding first... which is so cheap and then he can get her pregnant.


PLS BE WISE O.


4 Likes

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by GraGra247(m): 6:26am On Sep 07
tolugar:
My dear op.

That guy has no intentions of taking her to UK.

Na baby mama things he is looking for. Once he takes in and the dowery is paid then voooooommmmm

From one story to another.

Pls don’t push your sis. She know what she is doing. Once she gets to UK she can take in.

Either the guy take it or leave it.

He is looking for naija wife.


it or leave it.
Maybe guy man is looking for naija wife.

I cconcur. Very sensible input.

87 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by HarunaWest(m): 6:26am On Sep 07
.

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Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by frostylook: 6:30am On Sep 07
Any man that brings a marriage proposal with such conditions is playing games. The whole arrangement smells of desperation and guy man is trying to cash in on it. While I support your sister's stance on the matter, she should dial back on the clubbing... that's not responsible of her.
And to be frank, you seem to be the desperate one in the story. I felt the pressure coming from from the way you typed. Leave your sister to decide for herself and so far she is making the better judgement call. Learn from her.

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Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by Cutehector(m): 6:31am On Sep 07
I insist that your sister should tell the man to get the Bleep off...


I have an aunty who had this same experience. The idiot got her pregnant and up till today, the man vanished. Please your sister should stand her ground that if he doesn't take her to the u.k, then no pregnancy!

212 Likes 9 Shares

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by dominique(f): 6:36am On Sep 07
The biggest mistake your sister will make is if she gets pregnant for that man. The man most likely has a foreign based family and he's looking for someone to give birth to home based kids to him. You're so fixated on having a sister abroad that you can't see this. Has he said anything about going to registry to get married legally? Or you think by paying for dowry is enough to start processing her travel documents. Your sister is street smart, she knows most of these foreign based men are phony. Your sister should tell him to take her to registry first and marry her legally, then proess her visa before she takes in.

275 Likes 14 Shares

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by Rubbiish(m): 6:36am On Sep 07
tolugar:
My dear op.

That guy has no intentions of taking her to UK.

Na baby mama things he is looking for. Once he takes in and the dowery is paid then voooooommmmm

From one story to another.

Pls don’t push your sis. She know what she is doing. Once she gets to UK she can take in.

Either the guy take it or leave it.

He is looking for naija wife.


it or leave it.
Maybe guy man is looking for naija wife.
cc blackangel0403
Please follow d above advice
Your sister already have 2 kids, let her not make d mistake of adding another one to it. That dude have ulterior motive

65 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by theButterfly: 6:40am On Sep 07
In a perfect world, if he were truly serious about being w| your sister, the order of things should be: marry her, relocate her and her two kids to the UK where he's based, then impregnate her. But how many men can take a single mother [along w| the kids that are not his, abroad]? It doesn't take rocket science to know that this man has an ulterior motive by wanting her to take in now, but you're too preoccupied by the thought of her going to the UK, which may not happen. She should be careful or she will end up w| 3 kids in Nigeria and no baby daddy in sight.

170 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by LadySarah(f): 6:50am On Sep 07
Op,You say? undecided undecided

Its like You Hate that ur sister.How can You even suggest She takes in?What If Uncle dissappoints.

No be this style dem take deceive My friend's sis till for 6 yrs now.She still dey Nigeria.
Uncle that is pressuring her,is it not the same kpekus that You will have in ur House when She comes over?

I'm beginning to suspect abroad Uncle cos it Seems he is a scammer Or looking for a Nigerian wife.

Your sister should never accept Such strange,demonic and ridiculous request!

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Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by sisisioge: 6:55am On Sep 07
Chai! Biko leave your sister alone! She's on the right track...she should wait until after December to get pregnant fa! Hian!

50 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by LadySarah(f): 6:59am On Sep 07
GraGra247:
I advice she discusses with the man heart to heart and beg him to be patient regarding the pregnancy till after payment and court wedding.

Better still she stylishly beg and delays him till when the pregnancy will be like one or two months before he comes to pay her dowry so that if the man fails to meet his end of the bargain she can safely abort and not suffer to cater for additional one kid alone.

She can travel to another location with the man with a claim that she got a job in that location in order to hide the pregnancy from parents and mockers till the day he comes to pay her dowry.

She certainly has to stop partying and meeting other men for now. She only has 3 months to make that easy sacrifice a lot of ladies make for 5 years and beyond.

This right here is bullshit!!

104 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by GraGra247(m): 7:15am On Sep 07
LadySarah:


This right here is bullshit!!

So why is it bullshit and what better suggestion do you recommend.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by 1Sharon(f): 7:19am On Sep 07
Leave ur sister alone OP

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Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by AwkaetitiBabe(f): 7:19am On Sep 07
This kinda condition though. What if he travels and starts giving excuses?

Pls let us stop losing our sense of worth for these people who live abroad abeg. He's in the UK and so what? If he's serious, he should marry her first.

Dude wants to tie here down with pregnancy here.

36 Likes

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by AwkaetitiBabe(f): 7:21am On Sep 07
LadySarah:
Op,You say? undecided undecided

Its like You Hate that ur sister.How can You even suggest She takes in.What If Uncle dissappoints.

No be this style dem take deceive My friend's sis till for 6 yrs now.She still dey Nigeria.
Uncle that is pressuring her,is it not the same kpekus that You will have in ur House when She comes over.

I'm beginning to suspect abroad Uncle cos it Seems he is a scammer Or looking for a Nigerian wife.

Your sister should never accept Such strange,demonic and ridiculous request.
These abroad men think ladies here are fools naw. He should do the needful before pregnancy

29 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by Cutehector(m): 7:31am On Sep 07
AwkaetitiBabe:
These abroad men think ladies here are fools naw. He should do the needful before pregnancy
I tell you. Anyways sha I blame the ladies who are carried away by living in abroad mentality. I just see them as vulnerable and shallow minded

46 Likes

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by Pavore9: 7:36am On Sep 07
You sister has been married and divorced, remarrying should not be based on desperation. At 35 and with 2 children, her focus should be on personal development that would positively impact on her children not a man who is promising to take her abroad. That the said man have gone to see your parents is no guarantee of marriage or eventual relocation abroad. What if the intention of the man is to have your sister get pregnant and have both families know about it and if he decides not to go ahead marrying her, she is definitely not going to abort the pregnancy thus becoming his baby mama. Being already divorced and with children, your sister would be less drama as his baby mama, which mouth she go use call out the guy?

At 35, your sister should re-evaluate her life, is clubbing helping her become more aware of self, the friends she hangs out with are they positive influence on herself and her children? She needs to redirect efforts in working on her self worth, she will not be begging a man when she will get pregnant.

When people feel you live a purposeful life, they see the gem in you.

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Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by AwkaetitiBabe(f): 7:37am On Sep 07
Cutehector:
I tell you. Anyways sha I blame the ladies who are carried away by living in abroad mentality. I just see them as vulnerable and shallow minded
Its Annoying. I just hope everything works out well for the lady. The op wants a sister that lives in the uk grin

Another question, will the make take her 2 kids to England too?

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by Cutehector(m): 7:49am On Sep 07
AwkaetitiBabe:
Its Annoying. I just hope everything works out well for the lady. The op wants a sister that lives in the uk grin

Another question, will the make take her 2 kids to England too?
for where. Cost of transporting the two kids sef to u.k, where the money dey. Abeg the sister should act like a matured woman and know when a man is lying or not. Which matured woman will believe a man that says he will carry her and her two kids who aren't his to the u.k after experiencing dissapointments from several Nigerian men in the past. Such lady needs serious deliverance

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Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by Kendumazy(m): 7:50am On Sep 07
Hmm
Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by project4OO: 7:52am On Sep 07
Your divorcee sister of 2 kids spend all day and night in the club, and you think taking in or going to the UK will prevent another breakup? The only advice your sis needs right now is to change her ways. Isn't it obvious why she lost the first marriage? I dey shame for your sister. She drops her kids with momma to watch, then proceeds to the club all night, to do what exactly?

Well, the summary is whether she takes in or not, leave to the UK or not, a bigger trouble is imminent. As per the man's condition, it is expected. He wouldn't have made that demand if they met in the church or some more decent social grounds.

It is well.

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Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by ruggedtimi(m): 7:57am On Sep 07
Getting pregnant for the man doesnt guarantee marriage and she should stop clubbing anyhow.

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Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by DesChyko(m): 8:11am On Sep 07
She doesn't need to take in.
If he needs proof of her viability, her being 'after two' is proof enough.
Besides, he can start practising fatherhood with those two until when she's ready to conceive again.
He should try to empathize with her reason for not wanting to take in so soon.
Maybe the presence of kids in her first marriage may have had some role to play in its breakup or something.

10 Likes

Re: My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life by SouthSouth1914: 8:41am On Sep 07
Marriages with conditions is a red flag! Both of them are not serious!

13 Likes

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