There is nothing bad in it but, it very dangerous. Also care must be taken and the gift must disclose to her present one

kokoye:

I dont think I would send a gift to an ex . .just not worth the trouble in my opinion. But if an ex truly needs my help . .


my ex got stuck and penniless in an unknown city and country a few months ago. I'm sure it took a lot for her to call and ask me for help.

Of course I helped in my own little way to make sure she has just enough to get her out of her misery.

Should I or should I have not? I believe I did the right thing.

If I can help people I do not know, why not someone I know and once cared for?

or maybe I should have left her to suffer . .when we parted as friends

I think not

What u did was offer a help/assistant 2 her which is applaudable. What d poster refers to is gift. Help=offering assistant when asked or when one feels obliged. Gift is given when not requested for.

i don't think that is right, men are jealous natured, think of it your girlfriend receiving a gift from her ex boyfriend. this will definitely stir up grieve

kokoye:

I dont think I would send a gift to an ex . .just not worth the trouble in my opinion. But if an ex truly needs my help . .


my ex got stuck and penniless in an unknown city and country a few months ago. I'm sure it took a lot for her to call and ask me for help.

Of course I helped in my own little way to make sure she has just enough to get her out of her misery.

Should I or should I have not? I believe I did the right thing.

If I can help people I do not know, why not someone I know and once cared for?

or maybe I should have left her to suffer . .when we parted as friends

I think not

Gifts and assistance are 2 different things.

thats true Ify, gift and assistance are 2 diff things. i would offer assistance cos right now i have assisted 2 of my ex, we still talk, the other is married and based on the transperancy involved, the husband is now my best friend, that even opened up a way in which i introduced him to business college and he is doing extremely fine now. we both know our boundries and respect and trust is our watch word. i was only responding to the fact of an ex just sending a gift to a married ex, that is uncalled for cos u could destroy her marriage, happiness and future,
thx

Depends on the circumstances,

yes, but not a gift that can cause emotional fallout

Hell to F nah, where is the intergrity and respect for your husband ? The only time it's right is if you talk to your husband about it before accepting it, i.e. after you have turned it down the first time.

My  Ruling: CAPITAL NO TO EXCHANGE OF GIFT BETWEEN EXs.

ONCE YOU DON'T CONSIDER A WOMAN SUITABLE FOR THE TOTAL PACKAGE (ALIAS MARRIAGE) PLEASE LEAVE HER ALONE FOR THE MAN WHO HAS DECIDED TO OWN EVERYTHING, WARTS AND ALL. BY THE WAY, THE REVERSE IS ALSO THE CASE.

IF THERE IS OPPORTUNITY FOR ASSISTANCE EVEN THE EX MUST BE THE LAST TO BE CALLED WHEN NO OTHER OPTIONS ARE AVAILABLE AND IT INVOLVES LIFE.
BOTH MEN AND WOMEN, PLEASE DON'T TAKE ANY GIFT; ONCE YOU HAVE DONE IT BEFORE, YOU CAN ALWAYS FIND SPACE AND TIME TO DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN, If you know what i mean!

S[i]OME DAY WE SHALL DISCUSS THE DANGER IN EVEN DISCUSSING PAST RELATIONSHIP ONCE YOU ARE IN MARRIAGE.[/i]

hahahahahahah

Naijafren correct 100% .

of course NOT if she's also got no problem with her hubby doing same to his ex.

Amalaaba:

My  Ruling: CAPITAL NO TO EXCHANGE OF GIFT BETWEEN EXs.

ONCE YOU DON'T CONSIDER A WOMAN SUITABLE FOR THE TOTAL PACKAGE (ALIAS MARRIAGE) PLEASE LEAVE HER ALONE FOR THE MAN WHO HAS DECIDED TO OWN EVERYTHING, WARTS AND ALL. BY THE WAY, THE REVERSE IS ALSO THE CASE.

IF THERE IS OPPORTUNITY FOR ASSISTANCE EVEN THE EX MUST BE THE LAST TO BE CALLED WHEN NO OTHER OPTIONS ARE AVAILABLE AND IT INVOLVES LIFE.
BOTH MEN AND WOMEN, PLEASE DON'T TAKE ANY GIFT; ONCE YOU HAVE DONE IT BEFORE, YOU CAN ALWAYS FIND SPACE AND TIME TO DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN, If you know what i mean!

S[i]OME DAY WE SHALL DISCUSS THE DANGER IN EVEN DISCUSSING PAST RELATIONSHIP ONCE YOU ARE IN MARRIAGE.[/i]

CORRECT

What is the value of the EX useless gift compared to the woman current relationship.

ABEGI MAKE HE KEEP HIS GIFT FOR HIMSELF/GF.

why would an ex channel his/her resources to his/her ex ?

doesnt s/he have his/her own wo/man to give presents

@nurabela:

Babe, this is quite controversial and a bit tempting and confusing. My advice, a frank interaction with an expert on this matter of marriage will help settle things properly.

So pls do talk to some marriage counsellor about it, not just friends or pastors.

Mcleo007:

What u did was offer a help/assistant 2 her which is applaudable. What d poster refers to is gift. Help=offering assistant when asked or when one feels obliged. Gift is given when not requested for.

ifyalways:

Gifts and assistance are 2 different things.

I get that guys. Please read the first line of my post. I just elaborated on my thoughts n ideas because I have heard some people say you should not even offer assistance to exes.

kokoye:

I dont think I would send a gift to an ex . .just not worth the trouble in my opinion. But if an ex truly needs my help . .

If she is looking for a new husband yes why not

No. Enough said!

I wont object to my wife collecting a gift from her ex because I know her level of commitment to our relationship.

You don't get it, do you? She is committed to your relationship (no argument about that) but the other guy is smart. He knows that gifts soften the heart. He will finally use gifts to soften your wife's heart to be committed towards his own relationship with her. It is safer for her not to even have anything with her ex.

Your problem is that you didn't do these things as a guy. Gifts can be used to entice. We do it every time to our exes.

No, receiving anything from an ex while in another relationship is NEVER a good look

yeaa, [img]http://2.s07.flagcounter.com/count/DymW/bg=ffffff/txt=ffffff/border=ffffff/columns=1/maxflags=1/viewers=3/labels=0/[/img]
[img]http://2.s05.flagcounter.com/count/ZWq/bg=FFFFFF/txt=FFFFFF/border=FFFFFF/columns=1/maxflags=1/viewers=3/labels=0/[/img]

If both parted ways due to the issue of distance or otherwise and both still have an iota of chemistry,the fire will spark and it's gonna be messy this time around.

Best reject the gift with diplomacy and keep going your separate ways,avoid calling when u are down and out.

Please i know this is not related to the topic, i cldnt get to update all my account cos of some reasons, i have a little baby and that slowed me down a bit . i did some but still had some to go,does anyone think u.b.a and ibplc would listen to me tommorrow pls

capital NO

why pls i thot updating was a continous exercise

NO ! I said NO; Dont dare accept gifts from Ex. It brings back memories.

If na me, I go buy her what her hubby can not afford and nightly she will think, she made a mistake marrying the poor man lying naked by her side and snoring like a village barber. !! lol

some ladies are so naive that they will collect the gift saying there is nothing to it which could be true but 9 times out of 10 the guy is mapping a strategy to re-enter

its safer to politely decline all casual gifts, wedding gifts etc could be accepted but that should be done in the presence of the husband

@ poster. There's no clarity about the intent of the gift so its difficult to judge such matters. I personally don't see a problem with it except if the motives behind it is wrong. I think the woman involved should show all gifts to the husband (especially from EXs) for approval in other to avoid misunderstanding or even conflict.
N. B: All gifts must not be accepted.

I think itz wrong cuz it could lead 2another thing.

In my opinion, it all depends on the particular circumstance. Is she celebrating an event or occasion and how cordial has the relationship been after their break up. There are a lot of things to be considered but in all, i dont see anything wrong with it.

she shouldn't dare it . . .why should her ex give her gifts if not to fulfill his ulterior motives

Gift ke?!
If cat sleep n rat go bite e tail,wetin e go see?
If u no let sleeping dogs lie,wetin e go do?
If u de cruise at 140km/h n u de luk rat wen run enter bush,wetin go happen?
If e mean well y e no kuku marry u d first time?
Abegi,face ur marriage d other person get plans.

this question is so d.umb i wonder why people waste time on it. How about a ''gift'' invitation to go ''shopping'' together in Dubai? Or a ''gift'' kiss? Rrrrrrruuubbbiissshhhh! Who dey ask this thing sef?