Through the eyes of Pryme
Klassy and Krazy (2)

Meeting people online can be very interesting especially when the both of you connect with ease and eventually get to the level of " can we meet?"
Sometimes as a guy you'll have to use punchlines upon punchlines and phone calls upon phone calls to get to this position but for some guy men, they can aim and execute within hours(whatever it is they're executing �)

So basically our online sisters are divided into two.. The Klassy and Krazy types.

When fixing date with the Klassy type, all you need to do is give them a reason to meet you cos they'll definitely ask for one. Sincerely at this point, whatever reason you give is for formality.
If she really wants to meet you, she will.

The only issue you'll have with the Klassy type of girl is picking time and venue. Naturally they'll form busy and you'll have to make a few suggestions before you'll eventually conclude but that's okay.

The date usually is simple.
Normal guy man picks up klassy bae at the agreed time.
If he's with a car, he drives to an eatery and if he came on foot, it's still okay, they can trekk there. He can just tell her he enjoys strolling. E no pass like that�.

At the eatery he orders what his pocket can afford
- Two ice cream scoops, meat pies and probably two plates of rice and chicken for the both of them.
They sit by the window overlooking the sunset and they talk about themselves.

She tells him about her job, how she's scared of heights, her love for cats and how much she loves Enya's music.
He in turn tells her his annoying boss, his interest in forex and how much he dislikes Naira Marley's music. They laugh over Hushpuppi's arrest and debate over D'banj's rape allegation.
In the course of the dialogue, she orders a bottle of water which she intends on paying for.

In less than an hour, they're done and he pays for whatever they ordered including the bottle of water. They walk to the junction and he tries to press a 500 naira note into her hands which she declines.
She gives him a light hug and promises to let him know when she gets home.
That night she texts him, thanking him for such a lovely outing and let's him know she's looking forward to yet another date with him....
×××××××Case closed×××××××

Krazy Girl...

�����

You know as e de be.

So the first few days as usual are filled with frustrating chats of one one word replies and a climax of a request of an emergency 2k which he sends to get her attention.
Fast forward to the
"can we meet part".

Guy Man: Hello dear
Krazy: Hi
Guy Man: Can we see?
Krazy: Yes, where
Guy Man: My place
Krazy: No
Guy Man: Hmm, where
Krazy: Somewhere else.
Guy Man: Like where?
Krazy: just be naming
Guy Man: Rochester
Krazy:�
Guy Man: Kobo
Krazy Bae: No my elder brother stays around there.
Guy Man: G lodge
Krazy girl: My ex boyfriend works there, I don't want him to see me.
Guy Man: Ok Oathwana Mall
Krazy: Yes!!
: When?
: Hey
: Why are you not replying??
: Hmmmmm
Guy man: Sorry I was doing something.
Krazy: Ok so what are you saying?
Guy Man: When will you be free?
Krazy: Are you busy today?

���
At this point guy man is shocked cos things are going easier and faster than expected.

Guy Man: Let's just leave it till Sunday.
Krazy: what time?
Guy Man: 4:30
Krazy: Ok
: But I don't have transport oo
Guy Man: Don't worry I'll pay.
Krazy: Awwwwwwwnnnn�
Guy Man: Till then.

Fast forward to Sunday by 12pm, Krazy girl flashes guy Man and he calls back.
Guy Man: Hello
Krazy girl: Hey baby
Guy Man: How far
Krazy girl: I'm fine oo,
Guy Man: Hope you went to church.
Krazy girl: Why? Me and God no de quarrel na.
He laughs
" Anyway I just called to remind you about our outing."
Guy Man: That's true. I've not forgotten.
Krazy girl: Ok baby, come prepared oo.
She says and she hangs up.

You just called abi u flashed me, he thinks to himself. Sha everywhere good. Time still de.
4:30 still far.

30 minutes later, his phone rings again as he's trying to catch some sleep.
With sleepy eye

Guy Man: Helllloooo
Krazy girl: Hey baby
Guy Man: Hooow farrr
Krazy girl: We are there.
Guy Man: Eh How

He jumps to his feet now 100% awake.

Krazy girl: We are at the mall now.
Guy Man: But we agreed on 4:30.

*Silence*

Krazy girl: You de come?
Guy man yawns and stretches his body.
Krazy girl: Eh
Guy man: Give me 10 minutes.
She hangs up.

10 minutes later, Guy man is dressed in one of his favorite senator wears. The one he sewed with the material he bought from Jay's Apparel. He puts on his Gucci palm and sprays a little perfume. He grabs his wallet, and wrist watch and as he goes out to get a bike, he begins to wonder what kind of girl is this that cannot even keep to time. Thoughts are running through his mind but he doesn't worry about the fact that she told him to come prepared.
Guy man gets there and pays the okada man. He tries looking round for any sign of her but he only sees a group of people standing at the side of the mall.
He starts calling her cos he he's getting uneasy as he walks back and forth.

Guy Man: Where are you?
Krazy girl: You where you de?
Guy Man: Front of the Mall.
Krazy girl: Na there we de too na.
Guy Man: You and who he asks trying to understand why she keeps saying we! I didn't see anybody oo
Krazy: We de there na.
Ok I don see you. Turn back I wear blue shirt.

He looks back and sees her ...and them
- 3 small children
-2 girls of her height and
-1 black grab bross that is almost the same height as him.
She walks up to him with a broad smile.
Krazy girl is on low cut, tight hose trousers and pam slippers. In fact her whole dressing is saying
NO BE PLAY WE COME PLAY FOR HERE.
To make it worse, she is on chewing gum.

Guy Man is like " is this the same girl I've been chatting with, she looks different without snap chat"

"afa na guy, we don de wait you since".
"What's up" he says trying to act normal.
" We de oo, we full ground remain
"
He didn't understand this her constant use of we, we, we...

"Who are these he said motioning to her squad.

" Ooh All diz ones she asked as she annoyingly keeps sighting her chewing gum.
These two fishes na my neighbors, as them see say I de package to comot, na so them say them go must follow me. While these ones na my younger brothers.

Guy man looks up at her trying to find the packaging, then looks from the fishes to her brothers and her" broda".

Gracious God!!

" But you know the time we agreed on was_

"Sista, sista... Hungwy de catch me oo one of her younger brothers said cutting him short.

" No worry, this brother go buy us food she said patting the boy on his head. The young boy smiled.

" Boda you go buy us food?" He asks coming to hold guy man's trouser and guy man suddenly wished he had the power to remind time.

" Make we go inside,"
Krazy girl tells her squad and they begin to match inside like Spartan soldiers.

As they were going in, he notices that she even has curved legs.

They occupy 3 tables and the grab Bros comes to sit with them.

" Guy your senator go well oo, be like wetin you buy from Jay's Apparel.
Guy man forces a smile .

" Chairman as you de smile abeg just do me like 1k Glo sub, e no touch anywhere".

" Don't worry before we go" Guy Man responds still wondering how he got into this tight corner.

"Baba I believe your government" Grab bros responds.

Guy Man doesn't know how to begin a conversation and he starts trying to remember what he knows about her.

" Sister na" her kid brother calls out from their table.
"Hungwy de do us oo"

"Ehen wetin una go chop"

"We wan chop gawi" he responds.

Krazy girl does not even think twice before she calls to the waiter.

" Who de here? Una get eba? No? What of stash? Oya serve them two two.

" Wetin una go chop," she turns to her friends.

"Shawarma and ice cream" they chorus.

"Give them, one one go do una?"
" Make we de look na"

Jesus wept!!!
Guy man's eyes flew wide open, warriz all this again?.
It's like the girls hadn't eaten since the Iockdown began.
It was then it dawned on him and it starts echoing in his ears

COME PREPARED.

This was a day he would forever remember... That's If he made it out alive.
How much was in his pocket sef.

He was still deep in thoughts when her grab bros spoke up... "Chairman make them do me one Heineken for a start na" the grab brother spoke again. The broda's voice was so deep... It didn't sound like he was requesting, it was like a command. Guy man looked at the grab brother, grab brother was not smiling.

Chaii, on top my own money.

"Feel free, guy man said. He was already sweating under the air condition.

" Na iPhone you de use?"
One of the girls asked from their table.

He smiled.

" Come use am snap me picture na. See your wrist watch sef, help me with am na."

Guy man was so relieved to stand up from the table. The go into the mall and she starts possing. Curved leg, bent yansh, tongue out and other positions. While he is snapping the pictures, he does a mental calculation of what they had ordered.

Plate of eba 300 ×3 = 900
Shawarma 1500 ×3 = 4,500
Ice cream 500 × 3 = 1,500
Heineken = 400
Total= 7,300 plus the Glo 1k card he earlier promised = 8,300.

8,300 in less than 30 minutes. 8,300 for what he did not even taste from. He never even talk about their transport and the money those small rascals will still broda broda him.

How much de e pocket sef?
1,250 - e own transport."

"Abeg on your Bluetooth make I send my pictures"

" iPhone doesn't use Bluetooth" he said still wondering how he would get himself out of this mess.
" Just give me your number let me send it through WhatsApp.
" Na fero torch light I de use" the girl responds.

God!!! Who are all the people and how did I get here?? Sha God no go shame us.
His blood pressure was rising and time was slowly ticking, from the corner of his eyes, he could see Krazy bae ordering for another plate of Banga soup and starch. Grab broda don already pull shirt with like 2 black bullets and 1 fearless standing fearlessly in his front.

" The pictures are a bit dark, let me try the camera if it will work better outside" he tells her. As they walk towards the door, she asks him " So bros when we go come know your house na??
He doesn't reply cos he knows if he responds, he could give her the kind of beating Chelsea received a few days ago.
They walk out the door and he tells her... " Check the corner of the building if e go make sense" as she walks towards the corner, he knows.
IT'S NOW OR NEVER.
He takes off his Gucci palm, folds his senator wear and runs for his dear life, straight into the main road... Even the cars on the road were no match for him...

He's already at the express when he remembers that he had forgotten his wrist watch... But it doesn't matter ... All die na die but definitely not today.

The end.

Now I wrote this story solely for the purpose of laughter and entertainment. The country has really been in a difficult state ever since the inception of the Covid19 saga.
Whichever means you can, put a smile on someone's face today.

Thanks for reading.
Have a wonderful week ahead.

© Williamprime
July 2020

Stay safe

Nice one. Funny