₦airaland Forum

Dreyton36:
Like I said email me , and I'll tell you all you have to do Mind you, I'm a clinical psychologist

uchman:
Bro free her now,
things may work fine for them,
really there is love in between them, just that the distance does not guarantee safety and their ages worked together...
No hard feelings but 6 years of relationship worths it forget the ups and down.

Na the guy luck, make him flex...

Starz825:
you guys are just ranting....
what if her parent are well to do...
and they ve got all family members abroad...
did she make any complaint whether to send a random man or brother/sister...
jeez...nairalanders...
someone who has the capacity of such will definitely be doing well to her siblings... perhaps they are abroad already who knows.....

she is only looking for a man that's all...

larryking540:
e no bad na,
that's y u see most family are still struggling to survive in 9ja even when they get person for abroad....I kw of a family that have roughly 4 person abroad ,yet they still day tenant hux for 9ja ,it's o pathetic,

Dreyton36:
Like I said email me , and I'll tell you all you have to do
Mind you, I'm a clinical psychologist

azvm:
i'm Nigerian by birth. my siblings are abroad too. i do hv cousins, nephews in Nigeria but we're not close

pesty100:
op this guy is unstable if you continue with him despite all the signs you have seen it will end in premium tears for you. The guy is only interested in your money and body

Meedass:
. Meanwhile I have one fine yoruba Bobo for you self.. Just email me on V.muffler81@gmail.com

Meedass:
I know it's very difficult for woman over there to find a partner, there

azvm:
i'm Nigerian by birth. my siblings are abroad too. i do hv cousins, nephews in Nigeria but we're not close

azvm:
2014. i met a guy on Nairaland, i'll call him C. i'm not a new member, only using a new moniker. I was 27, him 29 (now we're 32, 35). i'm yoruba, him igbo. we met in Religion where we were encouraging one suicidal, depressed dude in a thread. he PMed me abt liking what i wrote then the friendship began. we had things in common, had interesting discussions, talked about ourselves and families, problems, etc. we agreed to be in a ldr, communicated mostly over email, whatsapp texts. we've done video calls too several times and till three years ago but i put a stop to them bc he was always asking me to show him parts of my body

2016. i was doing a school research project i needed a website for. C told me he knew someone in Nigeria to build it for me, said he would pay him the money, about $100. after the website was built , a week later he started hampering me to return the money, hurling insults at me, telling me i stole his money and he would tell everyone i took his money and ran. i told him i thought the money had been a gift. we were in a relationship, i didn't think i had to return it. after all the verbal abuse i sent him the money -actually sent him more than $100, then he was happy. it wasn't until i told him how bad his behavior was towards me that he apologized. after this, he wanted me to visit him in Nigeria (we had talked abt me visiting Nigeria since 2015) but i couldn't make it. he soon quit talking to me, disappeared. i didn't hear from him at all for three months, no calls, no nothing. i ended up meeting a man here, a Jamaican. i wasn't attracted to this man, we weren't in a relationship. i don't want to get into these details but i was sexually assaulted and lost my virginity, at 29. i reported to the police last year, it's still an ongoing police case. i somehow blame C. i've felt if he hadn't disappeared i wouldn't hv fallen into the hands of this rapist. C knew my goal was always to save myself for marriage like i had been doing.

rewind. some background. before i met C, i was in a relationship when i was 25, in 2012.
2012. i met a yoruba guy my Uni. he was an international student. we never had sex due to me wanting to wait for marriage. we kissed, hugged during our weekly outings. we saw each other once a week for movies, dinner, bowling. he ended up cheating. 7 months later, i broke up w him. this dude is history but is who i consider my ex if you ask who my ex is. i consider this relationship my first ever relationship, the only real-life relationship i've ever been in all my life, though a non-sexual one.

back to C.
2017. he did encourage me after i told him what had happened to me, provided moral support. but he then disappeared again. when he contacted me four months later, i was upset, we exchanged some words over email- mostly me calling him dishonest, unfaithful, untrustworthy, which were all true. he took things too far and was verbally abusive calling me horrible names and using the things i've told him about myself to insult me, like the sexual assault. he apologized later but i was quite hurt. we decided to start anew for a relationship mostly doing whatsapp texts and email as usual. he isn't a phone call person, he has the tendency to need his space for a week a two- i never complained.

2018. he disappeared again this time for 8 months, from april to november, no communication at all. i had told myself to forget about him. he suddenly called my phone one november afternoon 5 times. when we got to talking he confessed he was engaged to an igbo girl in Nigeria, was busy making preparations for the marriage but her family were making too many financial demands so he opted to call it off. i was shocked to hear he had been engaged. i told him he only contacted me again since the marriage plans didn't work out. he apologized, said it's me he wants to marry, i'm a simple girl, i'll give him peace of mind, blah blab blah. he wanted us to start where we left off. i told him i no longer trusted him but said we could try again, see where it goes

2019. we continue and things were fine till Valentine's Day. a week before V-day he said he loved me, promised to never leave me again. on Valentine's day i got no Valentine's message from him either or email or whatsapp, no call, nothing. meanwhile i would see him on whatsapp. fast forward to two weeks later i needed a logo for a blog of mine. i found a guy on nairaland for it. initially i wanted to send C the money to give to the guy but i decided to send him the money myself, i sent him the money then C started ignoring me. long story short the guy didn't send my logo after receiving the money. i told C, asked him to call the guy for me to release my logo, he refused. after this, i stopped communicating with C myself this time, he didn't contact me either, not till later last year

2020. fast forward to last month he told me abt his laptop which got damaged after a power outage. i started looking online to buy another laptop for him ( i didn't tell him ). my plan was to surprise him, send it to him for his birthday in October. we chatted on whatsapp the next day, i was doing my best to make him feel better, asked him what laptop he's using now, other questions to show him i care. all of a sudden he went of on me calling me deplorable n all sorts of names, saying stuff he knows will hurt me. i dunno maybe he was having a bad day or what. i told him i was planning to buy another laptop for him but he carried on insulting me. i blocked him. asides, his communication towards me recently has been sexual -he's always talkn abt wanting to make love to me, how attracted he is to me ( he has my pics ), how i'm his fantasy. he emailed me days later talkn abt me being the love of his life. he first refused apologizing for all his insults said over whatsapp, he said he doesn't need to apologize before i forgive. he finally said "i'm sorry ok" days later, i told him there's no more relationship. he says he doesn't want to let me go, i'm the only one who understands him. lately i've been thinking abt sponsoring him or going to nigeria to marry him. despite the fights he hs been my friend over the years. plus i'm thinking being in the same place may help us bond a lot better, start a family someday. my fears are he may not be a good father or husband, will be abusive, or i may find out he's got a wife in Nigeria. what do u guys think i should do?

*he's still on nairaland though not too active. he may or may not see this thread... it wouldn't matter either way.

azvm:
2014. i met a guy on Nairaland, i'll call him C. i'm not a new member, only using a new moniker. I was 27, him 29 (now we're 32, 35). i'm yoruba, him igbo. we met in Religion where we were encouraging one suicidal, depressed dude in a thread. he PMed me abt liking what i wrote then the friendship began. we had things in common, had interesting discussions, talked about ourselves and families, problems, etc. we agreed to be in a ldr, communicated mostly over email, whatsapp texts. we've done video calls too several times and till three years ago but i put a stop to them bc he was always asking me to show him parts of my body

2016. i was doing a school research project i needed a website for. C told me he knew someone in Nigeria to build it for me, said he would pay him the money, about $100. after the website was built , a week later he started hampering me to return the money, hurling insults at me, telling me i stole his money and he would tell everyone i took his money and ran. i told him i thought the money had been a gift. we were in a relationship, i didn't think i had to return it. after all the verbal abuse i sent him the money -actually sent him more than $100, then he was happy. it wasn't until i told him how bad his behavior was towards me that he apologized. after this, he wanted me to visit him in Nigeria (we had talked abt me visiting Nigeria since 2015) but i couldn't make it. he soon quit talking to me, disappeared. i didn't hear from him at all for three months, no calls, no nothing. i ended up meeting a man here, a Jamaican. i wasn't attracted to this man, we weren't in a relationship. i don't want to get into these details but i was sexually assaulted and lost my virginity, at 29. i reported to the police last year, it's still an ongoing police case. i somehow blame C. i've felt if he hadn't disappeared i wouldn't hv fallen into the hands of this rapist. C knew my goal was always to save myself for marriage like i had been doing.

rewind. some background. before i met C, i was in a relationship when i was 25, in 2012.
2012. i met a yoruba guy my Uni. he was an international student. we never had sex due to me wanting to wait for marriage. we kissed, hugged during our weekly outings. we saw each other once a week for movies, dinner, bowling. he ended up cheating. 7 months later, i broke up w him. this dude is history but is who i consider my ex if you ask who my ex is. i consider this relationship my first ever relationship, the only real-life relationship i've ever been in all my life, though a non-sexual one.

back to C.
2017. he did encourage me after i told him what had happened to me, provided moral support. but he then disappeared again. when he contacted me four months later, i was upset, we exchanged some words over email- mostly me calling him dishonest, unfaithful, untrustworthy, which were all true. he took things too far and was verbally abusive calling me horrible names and using the things i've told him about myself to insult me, like the sexual assault. he apologized later but i was quite hurt. we decided to start anew for a relationship mostly doing whatsapp texts and email as usual. he isn't a phone call person, he has the tendency to need his space for a week a two- i never complained.

2018. he disappeared again this time for 8 months, from april to november, no communication at all. i had told myself to forget about him. he suddenly called my phone one november afternoon 5 times. when we got to talking he confessed he was engaged to an igbo girl in Nigeria, was busy making preparations for the marriage but her family were making too many financial demands so he opted to call it off. i was shocked to hear he had been engaged. i told him he only contacted me again since the marriage plans didn't work out. he apologized, said it's me he wants to marry, i'm a simple girl, i'll give him peace of mind, blah blab blah. he wanted us to start where we left off. i told him i no longer trusted him but said we could try again, see where it goes

2019. we continue and things were fine till Valentine's Day. a week before V-day he said he loved me, promised to never leave me again. on Valentine's day i got no Valentine's message from him either or email or whatsapp, no call, nothing. meanwhile i would see him on whatsapp. fast forward to two weeks later i needed a logo for a blog of mine. i found a guy on nairaland for it. initially i wanted to send C the money to give to the guy but i decided to send him the money myself, i sent him the money then C started ignoring me. long story short the guy didn't send my logo after receiving the money. i told C, asked him to call the guy for me to release my logo, he refused. after this, i stopped communicating with C myself this time, he didn't contact me either, not till later last year

2020. fast forward to last month he told me abt his laptop which got damaged after a power outage. i started looking online to buy another laptop for him ( i didn't tell him ). my plan was to surprise him, send it to him for his birthday in October. we chatted on whatsapp the next day, i was doing my best to make him feel better, asked him what laptop he's using now, other questions to show him i care. all of a sudden he went of on me calling me deplorable n all sorts of names, saying stuff he knows will hurt me. i dunno maybe he was having a bad day or what. i told him i was planning to buy another laptop for him but he carried on insulting me. i blocked him. asides, his communication towards me recently has been sexual -he's always talkn abt wanting to make love to me, how attracted he is to me ( he has my pics ), how i'm his fantasy. he emailed me days later talkn abt me being the love of his life. he first refused apologizing for all his insults said over whatsapp, he said he doesn't need to apologize before i forgive. he finally said "i'm sorry ok" days later, i told him there's no more relationship. he says he doesn't want to let me go, i'm the only one who understands him. lately i've been thinking abt sponsoring him or going to nigeria to marry him. despite the fights he hs been my friend over the years. plus i'm thinking being in the same place may help us bond a lot better, start a family someday. my fears are he may not be a good father or husband, will be abusive, or i may find out he's got a wife in Nigeria. what do u guys think i should do?

*he's still on nairaland though not too active. he may or may not see this thread... it wouldn't matter either way.

stacyadams:



So you carry our matter come nairaland
Don't worry I won't disappear on you again

We will vote atiku together
We will vote trump together
U will be my Kim,I will be ur kanye

We will play bet9ja together
We will visit hushpuppy in his Gucci Chicago jail together..

lefulefu:
chai this one wants to get im own share
nairaland and the hustling game
cc Randy91

24SEVEN:
mail his name, his NL moniker. I will investigate him to his doorsteps. Personally I think he is married.

You can marry me den

candyguyofficia:
I didn't have the intention to read it cause I have had a busy day, I am presently relaxing and Im surprised I didn't close the tab so I decided to read it up to pass time while relaxing.
My Advise:
Forget him (the NL guy), yes forget him. I know there is no "perfect relationship" but that do not mean that one should be in a dysfunctional one. I know you feel your biological clock is ticking but still forget him a broken relationship is far better than a broken marriage. I suggest you go out more often and try and socialize the more. In the 21st century there are ways girls make advances to guy in a subtle way that the guy wouldn't even know. You need to brush up your socialization skill. I would still advise sponsor your brother or sister for the guy he isn't worth it (trust me), all the handwriting are on the wall.

lefulefu:
biko pity the girl.;person don already scam her u wan stil get ur own share

xcommando:
Pls don’t ever try that, that guy is using you to cruise don’t be surprise he has a family.

doremi123:
Baby biko, I kneel down beg you, don't try it. I repeat, DO NOT TRY IT.

Angelacruz:
Babe abeg i take God's name beg u,block dat guy in every possible way.He is married n wat to scam u of ur money n valuables.He is an ingrates,a thief,an internet fraudster etc.If u dnt give him a strong warning n block him,it will definetly end in customized tears.The handwriting is on d wall n it's clearly written.Please move on.HE DOES NOT LOVE U,HE IS an INTERNET FRAUDSTER.Pls be wise dis is Nigeria

lefulefu:
then its obvious those children when younger were being maltreated heavily by their parents and it wasnt the parents who sponsored.There is no how no how a child who came from a loving family and he had the good luck of coming into good fortune will just neglect his family.i am not talking of cousins.i am talking of your main blood..ur brother,ur sisters and ur dad and mom.a child who would just abandon his main family and be helping other ppl is lost.ur mother wey sweat for u..wey dey fry akara for roadside to use the money send u go sch so the son go just abandon am? how? If u see any family wey the children don abandon the family make u search well..something is obviously wrong with that family.

larryking540:
my guy u never jam ,
u never see people with different behavior ,...u think say na every pikin way u born go reason u

larryking540:
u never see people with different behavior ,...u think say na every pikin way u born go reason u

lefulefu:
such a pickin has a grudge with the family.u think say na every parent dey care for im pickin.when i was in school then there was this guy whose dad had plenty wives.bros na lagos im dey live.wen school resume d papa go give am 50 card so na dat one go be im pocket money throughout the duration of the session.the guy go hustle then raise money for himself.also there was this man who was close to my dad.This man has two dauthers in uniport.im no dey care at all for the two girls.im no dey send dem pocket money and neither does he care to pay the sch fees.na im wife dey manage hustle dey send to d two dauthers.im go always dey defend imself by sayin dem be girls and dem suppose know how to take care of themselves.Tell me if such children dey position u think they will send for such parent.Imagine an uncaring dad throwing 50 naira note at u sayin dats all for ur pocket money but im get sidechicks wey im dey look after their kids..u think such a son will reason the dad if luck shine im way.Na only if such a son get a Godly heart im go forgive and look after d dad.I even recall one story wey dem yarn about 50 cents wen dem say im deadbeath dad come forward after 50 cents started making it in his early days and started claiming that 50 cents is his son..they said 50 cents denied him and said he didnt know him cos the parent that look after him wen he was a kid was his mom.The dad abandoned them.when u see a child denying the parent na grudge im get due to wetin such parent do am in the past.

azvm:
his moniker is on the link (the thread we met in) i posted for some hours last night, along with my old moniker. i've deleted the link for privacy.


i don't hv any sibling in Nigeria. ok, i will try.

seanwilliam:
Stop saying nonsense in name of advice joor.. ode, why would you call the guy a scammer? Where in the passage did he scam the girl? Learn how to advise with your sense intact....

Well @ op, the truth is you are in love and no amount of advice would make you change your mind on what you have already decided on..


If I were you , i would find a time to meet and study him for a while, all these online relationships cant compare to interacting physically....


Your chance now is 50/50on whether he loves you or not.. but I dont think the guy can scam u of your money .. , cos if he was going to do that , he would have arranged billing format for you teytey and u no fit escape than to pay cos una don dey close and emotions don dey for u....

And just like you've said, I would say find time to have a bond with him first and find out him true character.. he might me going through hard times, and besides, no be every body fit dey committed to online relationship, some people fit see am as time waster... come naija con see am, no matter how smart and cunny he is, you would know his true character within 2months.. you got to sacrifice your time if you dont want to regret..

And if you geh the money to send him overs ( if you don't have time to come naija) then go ahead but hope for the best in him and prepare for the worst.. live na 50/50

azvm:
2014. i met a guy on Nairaland, i'll call him C. i'm not a new member, only using a new moniker. I was 27, him 29 (now we're 32, 35). i'm yoruba, him igbo. we met in Religion where we were encouraging one suicidal, depressed dude in a thread. he PMed me abt liking what i wrote then the friendship began. we had things in common, had interesting discussions, talked about ourselves and families, problems, etc. we agreed to be in a ldr, communicated mostly over email, whatsapp texts. we've done video calls too several times and till three years ago but i put a stop to them bc he was always asking me to show him parts of my body

2016. i was doing a school research project i needed a website for. C told me he knew someone in Nigeria to build it for me, said he would pay him the money, about $100. after the website was built , a week later he started hampering me to return the money, hurling insults at me, telling me i stole his money and he would tell everyone i took his money and ran. i told him i thought the money had been a gift. we were in a relationship, i didn't think i had to return it. after all the verbal abuse i sent him the money -actually sent him more than $100, then he was happy. it wasn't until i told him how bad his behavior was towards me that he apologized. after this, he wanted me to visit him in Nigeria (we had talked abt me visiting Nigeria since 2015) but i couldn't make it. he soon quit talking to me, disappeared. i didn't hear from him at all for three months, no calls, no nothing. i ended up meeting a man here, a Jamaican. i wasn't attracted to this man, we weren't in a relationship. i don't want to get into these details but i was sexually assaulted and lost my virginity, at 29. i reported to the police last year, it's still an ongoing police case. i somehow blame C. i've felt if he hadn't disappeared i wouldn't hv fallen into the hands of this rapist. C knew my goal was always to save myself for marriage like i had been doing.

rewind. some background. before i met C, i was in a relationship when i was 25, in 2012.
2012. i met a yoruba guy my Uni. he was an international student. we never had sex due to me wanting to wait for marriage. we kissed, hugged during our weekly outings. we saw each other once a week for movies, dinner, bowling. he ended up cheating. 7 months later, i broke up w him. this dude is history but is who i consider my ex if you ask who my ex is. i consider this relationship my first ever relationship, the only real-life relationship i've ever been in all my life, though a non-sexual one.

back to C.
2017. he did encourage me after i told him what had happened to me, provided moral support. but he then disappeared again. when he contacted me four months later, i was upset, we exchanged some words over email- mostly me calling him dishonest, unfaithful, untrustworthy, which were all true. he took things too far and was verbally abusive calling me horrible names and using the things i've told him about myself to insult me, like the sexual assault. he apologized later but i was quite hurt. we decided to start anew for a relationship mostly doing whatsapp texts and email as usual. he isn't a phone call person, he has the tendency to need his space for a week a two- i never complained.

2018. he disappeared again this time for 8 months, from april to november, no communication at all. i had told myself to forget about him. he suddenly called my phone one november afternoon 5 times. when we got to talking he confessed he was engaged to an igbo girl in Nigeria, was busy making preparations for the marriage but her family were making too many financial demands so he opted to call it off. i was shocked to hear he had been engaged. i told him he only contacted me again since the marriage plans didn't work out. he apologized, said it's me he wants to marry, i'm a simple girl, i'll give him peace of mind, blah blab blah. he wanted us to start where we left off. i told him i no longer trusted him but said we could try again, see where it goes

2019. we continue and things were fine till Valentine's Day. a week before V-day he said he loved me, promised to never leave me again. on Valentine's day i got no Valentine's message from him either or email or whatsapp, no call, nothing. meanwhile i would see him on whatsapp. fast forward to two weeks later i needed a logo for a blog of mine. i found a guy on nairaland for it. initially i wanted to send C the money to give to the guy but i decided to send him the money myself, i sent him the money then C started ignoring me. long story short the guy didn't send my logo after receiving the money. i told C, asked him to call the guy for me to release my logo, he refused. after this, i stopped communicating with C myself this time, he didn't contact me either, not till later last year

2020. fast forward to last month he told me abt his laptop which got damaged after a power outage. i started looking online to buy another laptop for him ( i didn't tell him ). my plan was to surprise him, send it to him for his birthday in October. we chatted on whatsapp the next day, i was doing my best to make him feel better, asked him what laptop he's using now, other questions to show him i care. all of a sudden he went of on me calling me deplorable n all sorts of names, saying stuff he knows will hurt me. i dunno maybe he was having a bad day or what. i told him i was planning to buy another laptop for him but he carried on insulting me. i blocked him. asides, his communication towards me recently has been sexual -he's always talkn abt wanting to make love to me, how attracted he is to me ( he has my pics ), how i'm his fantasy. he emailed me days later talkn abt me being the love of his life. he first refused apologizing for all his insults said over whatsapp, he said he doesn't need to apologize before i forgive. he finally said "i'm sorry ok" days later, i told him there's no more relationship. he says he doesn't want to let me go, i'm the only one who understands him. lately i've been thinking abt sponsoring him or going to nigeria to marry him. despite the fights he hs been my friend over the years. plus i'm thinking being in the same place may help us bond a lot better, start a family someday. my fears are he may not be a good father or husband, will be abusive, or i may find out he's got a wife in Nigeria. what do u guys think i should do?

*he's still on nairaland though not too active. he may or may not see this thread... it wouldn't matter either way.

azvm:
.