Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,565,469 members, 5,932,504 topics. Date: Thursday, 22 October 2020 at 04:39 AM

I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! - Romance (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! (9659 Views)

My Friend Told Her Boyfriend That I Am Just A Friend,, Now This Is Happening. / Ladies, Would You Date A Guy That Won't Ask You For Sex Until Marriage? / I Wouldn't Have Been Married If My Wife Didn't Ask Me This Question; Man Reveals (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by sammyesx: 4:11pm On Jul 16
If u have money to spare give to her, if u don't have....

Stick to the road ahead not the path behind - zedicus zul zorander

1 Like

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by ibkonekt(m): 4:24pm On Jul 16
SweetCunt97:
Give and it shall b given back to you. Atleast for d sake of d kid. Too bad she allowed d good for nothing man rope her with lies. Mtcheeew

1. its not his kid, why should he take responsibility for another man's semen.
2. whether a man lied to her or not does not excuse the fact that she herself fell for these lies and chose to open her legs without thinking. she has 50% of the blame.

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by Nobody: 4:31pm On Jul 16
NigeriaB:
I met this girl when I was in 300L[my second degree though]. I'm now in 600L. How we became friends and even started dating was very funny.

After a hectic day lecture, I needed to use the ATM within the campus before going home. There she was standing in the cue and immediately my eyes caught her, I liked her. The next question on my mind was how to initiate conversation and to get her contact given that so many persons were on cue and it could be embarrassing if the right approach wasn't adopted. She is the kind of girl that will catch any guy's attention, her height, her facial beauty, her shape, asss (lol) and all. There was no way I could have walked up to her; she was in company of friends and you all know how such things could be. It seemed practically impossible for me to make that move but fortunately for me she carried a transparent bag which housed her books and other items (she was in 100L at the time and doing some registration). There was a hard cover note book in that transparent bag and I could sight a phone number written on the edge of the book which I strongly believed was her number because that was the only notebook in that bag as I could see ,more so, given that they just resumed lectures. So, I quickly memorized the number (lolz) before she could finish withdrawing.

Later that day, after much rest, I called her ,she picked, she was so friendly and I of course was encouraged. She asked how I got her contact and I told her that I stole it , while she was at the ATM ; she laughed softly and I could at the instance feel the lines below my eyes go wrinkled.

While we continued talking, she told me at some point that she is in a complicated relationship but I didn't give up. We continued to be friends. On a certain Saturday, she called that she was coming to visit me (I stay off K),
I was super excited. That day she told me that she likes me and that we can step it up from just being friends. That was how we started dating..(we actually kissed that day..lolz).

While dating, I told her severally that I wouldn't sleep with a woman who is not my wife which means I wouldn't have sex until I'm married. This didn't go well with her because I realized she is the type that loves sex so much. Many times she had got herself naked before me, seducing me and all but I wouldn't give in. Her desire for sex is actually beyond what I can handle and if I continued in that relationship, one day I'm sure going to compromise my stand. So I had to let her know that I wouldn't be able to continue in the relationship, that I still have many more years to spend in school and I'm not even certain that at the end of it we were going to get married, that instead of me waisting her time, it would be better that we just put an end to the relationship while we remain just friends. She cried ,but it had to be that way because I need my wife to be proud of me and of course , heaven will stand pleased. We parted ways..

After we broke up, I didn't hear from her again for like 3 weeks, then I received a phone call from her and told me that she was pregnant and that she wanted to see me. Over the phone, I asked "how"? Since when?.. she was crying at the same time and i had to ask her to come to my place so we could talk. She came, narrated how after we broke up, got involved with another guy and that was how she became pregnant. She wanted to go for an abortion but I advised her against such move. I asked her to call her mummy and tell her the truth, that her mum will know how best to go about the whole stuff. I guessed she did, but her parents wouldn't have her in the house anymore because of shame and the indecent signal it may send to the other siblings. She had to pack to the guy's House and that was how they became husband and wife till date. She gave birth to a son and they are together as husband and wife till today.

The guy is a diploma holder and works in a photo studio ( the guy lied to her when they first met, that he was a graduate and that he was awaiting NYSC, I'm sure it was the reason she accepted him even though I could judge that she was desperate for sex).

Even though I'm still a student but God has been faithful such that I don't lack and everyone around me knows that I'm liberal.

She has been making request of me, asking for financial assistance and many times I have reached out to her.

Just yesterday, she asked that I help her with some money, that she is broke and her husband doesn't have anything, no food for her child. I was really touched. But is it proper that I continue doing this?

Please advise needed! I just want to avoid every form of temptation, is her husband aware that I give her money? What if this becomes an issue?

Please what should I do?

If you have watched Legend of the seeker, you will know this..

THE GREATEST HARM SOMETIMES COMES FROM THE BEST INTENTIONS. ~Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander.
wao Op are you still a virgin now? Good to still have your type around as men. God bless you abundantly.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by timifaithus(m): 4:41pm On Jul 16
Rozz:
wao Op are you still a virgin now? Good to still have your type around as men. God bless you abundantly.

Great one

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by Martinez39s(m): 4:44pm On Jul 16
NigeriaB:
It's not really that easy bro. She gets me anytime she mentions that her child hasn't eaten anything .

I'm taking the advice from here. I have to cut off
Stop being a Mr. Nice Guy. The child is not your responsibility. Let every man and woman take sole responsibility of their child(ren). If you were broke, would she continously help you and your child if she had the means? NO!

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by Ayemileto(m): 5:11pm On Jul 16
Your story get as he be sha.

Firstly, I think you're feeling guilty because you're the one that advised her not to abort the pregnancy, and convinced her to tell her parents instead, and somehow feel the need to always help her whenever she mention her son.

But let me tell you this, that is not in anyway your responsibility!!! The problem started since the time she decided to be having premarital sex, got addicted to it in the process and even proceeded to do it without protection.

And since she made this decision herself, then she should have been prepared for the consequences.



Also, from your write up, her parents turned her down, and she moved in with the guy to start living with him - as his wife. Your write up didn't say they are legally married in anyway.

This just point to the fact that the lady might just be a dependent fellow - without any direction and you might have just escaped a bullet.

Finally, it seems she's not working at all, and since her parents already rejected her, I doubt they will still be sending her money like they probably do before, and since she doesn't have a job, she resorts to always calling you for help.

If you really wish to help her, then the best thing you can do for her is to get her something doing.

it might be a job, or a business.

But this is in no way your responsibility. Only do it if you wish to, and ensure you let her know that's the last help she will be getting from you.


She put herself in the mess, let her sort herself out.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by Ayemileto(m): 5:28pm On Jul 16
I just read the story properly.

Going by the story, then she's currently in 400lvl. That's if she hasn't dropped out.

She got into all this mess and got rejected by her parents since her 100lvl days. shocked

If she's one of those who got admission early like between age 14 - 16, I think that probably explains why she's kind of dependent.

This points to failed parenting in a way. Her parents are likely one of the over religious ones that their children are getting wayward under their noses without them noticing it at all.


She really made some bad decisions she'll likely regret for the remainder of her life.

Majority of my previous comment is still applicable though.
Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by SweetCunt97(f): 5:31pm On Jul 16
ibkonekt:


1. its not his kid, why should he take responsibility for another man's semen.
2. whether a man lied to her or not does not excuse the fact that she herself fell for these lies and chose to open her legs without thinking. she has 50% of the blame.
Reasoning of a selfish non empathic fellow. Life happened.
Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by SweetCunt97(f): 5:37pm On Jul 16
Martinez39s:
A big lie peddled by religious books and the gullible. He has no business catering for another man's wife. He shouldn't put himself in a position where he is financially responsible for her, and her kid isn't his responsibility. Let her and her husband carry their cross.
Works for me. Thx
Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by SweetCunt97(f): 5:38pm On Jul 16
NigeriaB:


Yea, I reach out to her because of God and the child. Whenever she tells me the child has had nothing to eat..I will just go weak
Encourage to start a business or go find a job. U can't continue giving her money.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by ibkonekt(m): 5:39pm On Jul 16
SweetCunt97:
Reasoning of a selfish non empathic fellow. Life happened.

reasoning of a gold digging, 2 timing, worthless wench. when she was opening her legs where was her reasoning then. defending wh0redom. life didnt just happen like you claim she was a wh0re who slept around.

3 Likes

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by Martinez39s(m): 5:43pm On Jul 16
SweetCunt97:
Works for me. Thx
grin grin grin Na so. Explain with cogent reasons how it works for you. You just might turn me in giver who help those that have not. Explain. grin
Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by Nobody: 5:58pm On Jul 16
Op come and steal my contact too. I like decent guys grin

Hope you fine Sha.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by Nobody: 6:05pm On Jul 16
Martinez39s:
Stop being a Mr. Nice Guy. The child is not your responsibility. Let every man and woman take sole responsibility of their child(ren). If you were broke, would she continously help you and your child if she had the means? NO!
Martin's wetin nah? Is it your money? Why are you like this nah? grin

Op should know how to say no Sometimes. But refusing to help because he doesn't want to be a Simp or MrNiceguy is foolishness. Ahhhhhhhhh

2 Likes

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by Ayemileto(m): 6:09pm On Jul 16
ojuu4u:



If the way u narrated the story was exactly how it was, you will end up having sex with her and perhaps destroyed her home, meanwhile it will be a terrible decision if you go that way, a lady u took very bold decision to abstain sex from when she was single and she was very much attached to you, now end up sexxing her when she married and yet you still single! Why taking such decision in first instance?

I will advice you to give her and warn her that this *particular gift" will be her last gift and that she should focus on her husband and if she needs assistance outside her husband pocket, let her solicit for it from her siblings and her in laws...


The main reason for asking help from you is that she still wants flings" from you..............women use different ways to seduce men.


NB. Last year November/December a married woman near my house kept on asking money from me and I was reluctantly given her, it got to a stage that I let my wife knew about it, I now plan with my wife that she should tell her that I wanted to give her rice for Xmas, the woman came to my house and my wife handed over it for her. Since then, this woman doesn't demand a dime from me.

Why! She knew that I have discussed with my wife how she had been demanding money from me, if truly it was because she lacked she would continue asking from me but she wanted flings, because I exposed her trick! She fled!!

Your case is kind of different.

In OP's case, all this happened to an 100lvl girl.

If she's among the people who get admission early, then she might be between 14 - 16 years old when all this incidence happened.

If the above statement is correct, then she should be between 17 - 19years now.

And her parents rejected her after finding out about her pregnancy, which forced her to move in with the guy. So, she might not be legally married to him. More like live in partners.

So, unlike your own case, she might truly need the help and not in for a fling.

Also, I suspected she might have dropped out of school already.


But she destroyed her own life by herself and it's not really the OP's responsibility.

So, like you rightly stated, he can help her this time and give her a strict warning.

1 Like

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by Martinez39s(m): 6:12pm On Jul 16
Ariza:
Martin's wetin nah? Is it your money? Why are you like this nah? grin

Op should know how to say no Sometimes. But refusing to help because he doesn't want to be a Simp or MrNiceguy is foolishness. Ahhhhhhhhh
I am not stopping him from helping. I never called him a simp. The woman shouldn't push her and her husband's financial responsibilities on the OP. It's the height of irresponsibility to give birth to a child one can't adequately cater for and depend on others for help. If I am the OP, I will cut her off.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by princetemitee(f): 6:14pm On Jul 16
See this guy oo, she don born her own pikin, u are the one financing his life, when will u also born your own pikin to financing, pls think sad ;(

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by Nobody: 6:16pm On Jul 16
Martinez39s:
I am not stopping him from helping. I never called him a simp. The woman shouldn't push her and her husband's financial responsibilities on the OP. It's the height of irresponsibility to give birth to a child one can't adequately cater for and depend on others for help. If I am the OP, I will cut her off.
But MrNiceguy is the same thing as Simp Well Honestly Op dodged a bullet, if he had had sex with that lady, she might have conceived for him and I wonder what effect that would have had on him or his career.

And you are right, the child and the lady aren't his responsibility and he should keep her at a distance before things get complicated. But as for helping, he should do it once in a while.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by Martinez39s(m): 6:25pm On Jul 16
Ariza:
But MrNiceguy is the same thing as Simp Well Honestly Op dodged a bullet, if he had had sex with that lady, she might have conceived for him and I wonder what effect that would have had on him or his career.

And you are right, the child and the lady aren't his responsibility and he should keep her at a distance before things get complicated. But as for helping, he should do it once in a while.
Not all MrNiceGuys are simps. Some people are just too kind hearted.

Anyway, if the op wants to help once in while, that's his business and I won't stop him if I can. It's his money. Left to me, I would he cuts her off and stop helping. We can agree to disagree.

1 Like

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by Nobody: 6:27pm On Jul 16
Martinez39s:
Not all MrNiceGuys are simps. Some people are just too kind hearted.

Anyway, if the op wants to help once in while, that's his business and I won't stop him if I can. It's his money. Left to me, I would he cuts her off and stop helping. We can agree to disagree.
Yea.. you are right. We agree to disagree. And your approach isn't bad either, it's your own way of handling such situation.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by NigeriaB(m): 6:52pm On Jul 16
SweetCunt97:
Encourage to start a business or go find a job. U can't continue giving her money.

Yea, you are right
Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by NigeriaB(m): 7:12pm On Jul 16
sammyesx:
If u have money to spare give to her, if u don't have....

Stick to the road ahead not the path behind - zedicus zul zorander

Great! Lovely quote there too by Zed
Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by NigeriaB(m): 7:14pm On Jul 16
Rozz:
wao Op are you still a virgin now? Good to still have your type around as men. God bless you abundantly.

Thanks dear..lol

But it's not easy dear

1 Like

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by NigeriaB(m): 7:15pm On Jul 16
timifaithus:


Great one

Thanks dear
Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by NigeriaB(m): 7:16pm On Jul 16
Martinez39s:
Stop being a Mr. Nice Guy. The child is not your responsibility. Let every man and woman take sole responsibility of their child(ren). If you were broke, would she continously help you and your child if she had the means? NO!

Thanks bro
Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by emerged01(m): 7:16pm On Jul 16
undecided
NigeriaB:


Same thing I thought about broda. Bought she narrates the story in such a way that anybody with conscience wouldn't do otherwise but to help..

Thanks for your advice, maybe I should do this.
Bro,you have to flee if you don’t want it to end in regret. She will finally get what she want from you if you don’t flee. Don’t think you can always reject her.

1 Like

Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by NigeriaB(m): 7:25pm On Jul 16
Ayemileto:
Your story get as he be sha.

Firstly, I think you're feeling guilty because you're the one that advised her not to abort the pregnancy, and convinced her to tell her parents instead, and somehow feel the need to always help her whenever she mention her son.

But let me tell you this, that is not in anyway your responsibility!!! The problem started since the time she decided to be having premarital sex, got addicted to it in the process and even proceeded to do it without protection.

And since she made this decision herself, then she should have been prepared for the consequences.



Also, from your write up, her parents turned her down, and she moved in with the guy to start living with him - as his wife. Your write up didn't say they are legally married in anyway.

This just point to the fact that the lady might just be a dependent fellow - without any direction and you might have just escaped a bullet.

Finally, it seems she's not working at all, and since her parents already rejected her, I doubt they will still be sending her money like they probably do before, and since she doesn't have a job, she resorts to always calling you for help.

If you really wish to help her, then the best thing you can do for her is to get her something doing.

it might be a job, or a business.

But this is in no way your responsibility. Only do it if you wish to, and ensure you let her know that's the last help she will be getting from you.


She put herself in the mess, let her sort herself out.

Dammm!! You are a genius...

1. You were right. I was having that guilt. Firstly, if I hadn't sent her away, she wouldn't have gotten involved with that guy, by extension, pregnancy wouldn't have resulted. But from your third point, who knows I may have escaped a bullet or trap.

2. The man was made to do certain rites so I guess that conferred legitimacy of their union.

3. She is not working and I think is no longer continuing with her education. The last I asked her about school, she was saying something about making new plans to go to nursing school.

4. Thank you so much...
Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by NigeriaB(m): 7:29pm On Jul 16
Ayemileto:
I just read the story properly.

Going by the story, then she's currently in 400lvl. That's if she hasn't dropped out.

She got into all this mess and got rejected by her parents since her 100lvl days. shocked

If she's one of those who got admission early like between age 14 - 16, I think that probably explains why she's kind of dependent.

This points to failed parenting in a way. Her parents are likely one of the over religious ones that their children are getting wayward under their noses without them noticing it at all.


She really made some bad decisions she'll likely regret for the remainder of her life.

Majority of my previous comment is still applicable though.

1. She didn't continue with her education; she dropped out.

2. She was 18 when we started dating

3. The parents could have done better but for the sake of what people around them may say about them. They had to marry her off..

Thank you so much..
Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by NigeriaB(m): 7:30pm On Jul 16
Ariza:
Op come and steal my contact too. I like decent guys grin

Hope you fine Sha.

Hahaha
Okay na..
Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by NigeriaB(m): 7:32pm On Jul 16
Ariza:
Martin's wetin nah? Is it your money? Why are you like this nah? grin

Op should know how to say no Sometimes. But refusing to help because he doesn't want to be a Simp or MrNiceguy is foolishness. Ahhhhhhhhh

Ok dear
Thanks
Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by NigeriaB(m): 7:34pm On Jul 16
Ayemileto:


Your case is kind of different.

In OP's case, all this happened to an 100lvl girl.

If she's among the people who get admission early, then she might be between 14 - 16 years old when all this incidence happened.

If the above statement is correct, then she should be between 17 - 19years now.

And her parents rejected her after finding out about her pregnancy, which forced her to move in with the guy. So, she might not be legally married to him. More like live in partners.

So, unlike your own case, she might truly need the help and not in for a fling.

Also, I suspected she might have dropped out of school already.


But she destroyed her own life by herself and it's not really the OP's responsibility.

So, like you rightly stated, he can help her this time and give her a strict warning.

Yea, you are right..she dropped out.

She was 18 when we started dating
Re: I Told Her I Wouldn't Have Sex Until I'm Married. Now, This Is Happening! by NigeriaB(m): 7:34pm On Jul 16
princetemitee:
See this guy oo, she don born her own pikin, u are the one financing his life, when will u also born your own pikin to financing, pls think sad ;(

All right dear. Thanks alot

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply)

Who Has The Biggest Backside On Nairaland? / Who Will Your Val Be? / Two Lovers Were Having Sex In Public Where Many People Are Having Fun

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2020 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 200
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.