ModestGal:

Ma, I'm sorry, but I use God to beg you, do what I told you. Separate from him, request him to see a psychologist, or you both see one.
This man is TOXIC, I repeat, very TOXIC, ma, I'm pitying your mental health ni o. You need to stans your ground on it once and for all and decide.

Your marriage is 6months and he's already threatening divorce during quarrels, something is mentally wrong with your husband. And I don't know why he kept mentioning submission, on issues that has nothing to do with submission.

This man clearly sees a wife like a slave, and yet, he still allow you to contribute to the financial stability of the house. Hes just manipulating you with those words DIVORCE and SUBMISSION

Calling you a bìtch would be putting it mildly. You're a toxic dross whose relationship mishaps have made a roving, bitter feminist.

Your ultimate goal is to bring sadness and desolation to any woman who is in a relationship, making them like you -- a love-less slag.

Calling someone else's husband stupid explains why you're still an unmarried ogress.

postmann:


Calling you a bìtch would be putting it mildly. You're a toxic dross whose relationship mishaps have made a roving, bitter feminist.

Your ultimate goal is to bring sadness and desolation to any woman who is a relationship, making them like you -- a love-less slag.

Calling someone else's husband stupid explains why you're still an unmarried ogress.

Lol, you are referring to your ex, you sounded so bitter and so pained on someone else's ish. You must have been very frustrated in life to utter such, you are trying to pour your anger on your miserable and relationship life on me, please direct it somewhere else because you dont make any sense at all, you lack coherence, and your imaginative assumptions that im not married shows you have a mental problem. please go see a psychologist as well and leave my mention. I will remember you in prayer. Peace

NoToPile:


Na wa ooo, I would have thought he would foot you guys travel expenses since he was coming to see your parents for marriage, he also made you share transport fare to go visit your own people


I guess you have to stop talking about some things you do without discussing initially with him because all what you have posted are very trivial issues infact nom issues at all. These are things normal couples just mention to each other and hardly elicits any negative reaction. Did he think you kept the difference in the sienna/saloon car tfare for yourself or what.
Men that are petty are really difficult to deal with So you cannot do chochocho with your husband in peace again.


I used work with one very petty guy like that in my place of work very frustrating experience, I almost turned him to a prayer point despite the fact he was not my boss we were just in the same team oo, going to work was becoming a daily night mare and I have said it time without number that whoever marries him is in for a deep shit, I can't imagine a friend of mine marrying him Someone we just see few hours in a days frustrating me and others to that extent I can't imagine what living with him will be like. The most annoying part is people like that don't see anything wrong in what they are doing.

Its simple, they need to see a psychiatrist because its not normal and such behaviour is toxic for anyone around them. They are sick and need treatment

Juliusmomoh:

Thank u my sister

may God bless you

ModestGal:

Lol, you are referring to your ex, you sounded so bitter and so pained on someone else's ish. You must have been very frustrated in life to utter such, you are trying to pour your anger on your miserable and relationship life on me, please direct it somewhere else because you dont make any sense at all, you lack coherence, and your imaginative assumptions that im not married shows you have a mental problem. please go see a psychologist as well and leave my mention. I will remember you in prayer. Peace

Tell me what kinda prayer would come from a misandrist like you if not the echoes of woes emanating from your dark and putrid heart.

Oh, you're married and had the guts to pour invective on someone else's husband. Tells the kinda 'wife' you are -- a graceless bald ogress who competes with men in beer parlours and farts through her loose anus in a town hall meeting.

Remember me in prayer indeed. While the marine spirits reign supreme over your cursed life.

adadike:
may God bless you

Amen oooo

postmann:



Tell me what kinda prayer would come from a misandrist like you if not the echoes of woes emanating from your dark and putrid heart.

Oh, you're married and had the guts to pour invective on someone else's husband. Tells the kinda 'wife' you are -- a graceless bald ogress who competes with men in beer parlours and farts through her loose anus in a town hall meeting.

Remember me in prayer indeed. While the marine spirits reign supreme over your cursed life.

You so gross, look at things you are uttering. Disgusting, you need deliverance bro

ModestGal:

You so gross, look at things you are uttering. Disgusting, you need deliverance bro

Foolish woman! I've only just begun toying with you and you're complaining.

Just tarry a bit and I'll show you gross. You thought I'd treat you with kids glove. Bloody feminist.

If you have a score to settle, then settle it with yourself, not men. Your thighs were yours to open or to close.

grasiouso:


Have never and would never have a low self esteem. Was only trying to bend to make the marriage work but it's exhausting.

Bbe let me just tell you this.This is the early period of your union and alot of your actions now will determine how you ppl will live in future. Your will is under test right now and your husband wants to make sure he is 100percent in charge. Just be carefulIt isn't everything you share in a marriage. I know you want to bring up gists or days happenings so communication can flow but watch the person you are telling. So he won't use it against you in the future.

Helping ppl isn't wrong and you musnt tell him all.
He is overacting and both of you need to really discuss it.
I'm a very frugal person if he gives me money for Uber next thing you see me on bike. If he finds out he will shake his head and call me manager and we laugh over it.

Pls don't even let it kill your esteem. Don't let it bother you. Just know what to tell him.

postmann:


Foolish woman! I've only just begun toying with you and you're complaining.

Just tarry a bit and I'll show you gross. You thought I'd treat you with kids glove. Bloody feminist.

If you have a score to settle, then settle it with yourself, not men. Your thighs were yours to open or to close.

You have won. Congratulations
I don't have time abeg, its a disgrace on my personality replying to an untrained ucouth dirty talking person. leave my mention abeg, go look for your type that you would be talking dirty to one another. Gross, bye

ModestGal:

You have won. Congratulations
I don't have time abeg, its a disgrace on my personality replying to an untrained ucouth dirty talking person. leave my mention abeg, go look for your type that you would be talking dirty to one another. Gross, bye

But you found it convenient discussing big breast with the opposite sex on nairaland, even though you claimed to be married. Same pecksniffering bìtch talking shìt about refinement.

I know your type. You are as dirty in the inside as a used sanitary pad.

grasiouso:
Hello fam, please I need sincere advise on this issue. I created this account for this purpose so I can remain anonymous and get as much advise as I can.

I will give as much details as necessary for better understanding and to have a balanced view. My husband complains that I do things in isolation which has been the major cause of our quarrels. To be honest, the things he has complained about are usually things I do in good faith. For example, some weeks ago I came across a post on Nairaland that talked about the difficulties private school teachers are currently going through due to the covid 19 pandemic. While reading that post, I remembered a teacher living in our neighbourhood and immediately I felt like rendering a little help, so I sent her 5k (I have her account number from a transaction I did with her sometime back). I did this anonymously cos I didn't want her to know it came from me and till today even though she sees me often she has never talked about it which makes me believe she doesn't know it came from me. I later told my husband what I did expecting he would commend me but got the exact opposite. He flared up that I should have informed him before doing so. Note that we both work and have earnings. I did this from my 'personal purse' per se and not the family purse.
I have no problem informing him but he was not around at the time and I did what I did out of impulse to help someone. We really had a big quarrel and he did not fail remind me how he made a mistake with the marriage and we should go our separate way. That I am not submissive. Somehow I apologized and we managed to settle it.

Another incident: there is a virtual prayer group I belong to where we pray every morning mostly for families. People from different parts of the world join in this prayer. My husband sometimes joins but not consistent. This morning after the prayer, I sent the pastor a private message to remember my family in prayers especially for success in an exam my husband is about to write. I told my husband about this, and he flared up again. Then another round of talk of not being submissive and not obeying my husband. Please note that I'm not one of those who run after pastors and churches. I only joined this prayer group cos I connected with the way the pastor prays for families even though he doesn't know most of us and we don't know him personally.


These are just two out of the numerous issues. To be honest, I have made efforts to improve to please him and make our marriage work. I see these as petty issues and not something that should mean I am not being submissive or doing things in isolation. We talk about virtually everything we do but sometimes some things just come up that I react to immediately but always tell him about it.

As it is now, we may eventually go our separate way cos the constant reminder of him making a mistake to marry me because of my being un-submissive is making me lose interest in the marriage and killing the love I have for him. I just want to seek advise so it doesn't look like I did not make effort to make the marriage work.

Am I entirely wrong with my actions. Are the issues mentioned above not things that can be overlooked even after apologising. Should they warrant threats of divorce(which I don't have issues with anyway so everyone can have their peace)?

Best u call ur man quietly and kindly to order. Tell him what those ofhand comments does to ur psych. Ask him if he wants to divorce now or not? If he wants to then fine, it will pain but u guys go ur separate ways for the sake of ur peace of mind. If he doesn't want to divorce then u beg him not to repeat those words as it makes u loose it feelings for him. U married him so u can talk to him. Show him how it hurts u, if u must cry to make him understand then cry. Show ur true emotions to him. If love the man don't u? Show him.
Show him what he will be missing there after. Ofcos after feeding him his best meal and what adults do in da idea room. Take my word, ur Oga will never mention those words again. Ofcos u also have to change it ways by stop being that impulsive. I haven't seen any man that likes his woman being impulsive. I just feel ur man always feels his masculinity is on the line when u take decisions without consulting him. This too u have to make him understand is not the case. African men get that problem most esp Nigerian men.