OmoOduduwa01:


When dem bin tell you say "This life no balance" you think say joke?

Lol

RealEzee:
she will need to have options to ask which is good, true or false?

False,..

JERRY1925:


Inside life, and am somewhere in Nigeria begging my girlfriend to come see me.. With an all expens paid trip.
We never even see this year.
I am still begging her parents to accept my proposal.. I just they wonder.

Well u just have to find peace with yourself.
Tell him exactly how u feel snd give him a time frame.
If there is still no change, u have to save urself.

Probably you aren't telling us something here, You might not be attractive or there Is something fishy. These days wey be say Ladies full town dey find husband. Unattractive guys with money begs ladies a lot before they are been Accepted, They go through a lot of Scrutiny.......As I'm typing this. I have 5 Unreplied DMs from well endowed ladies on my WhatsApp which I'm purposely Ignoring......

Niela:


I am in a relationship with a guy. When I met this guy we were living in the same compound, he asked me out, I refused because we stay in the same place to avoid fornication but we were very good friends that people thought we were dating. So travel for a few weeks and came back and he had started dating someone in the same compound, I felt bad though but I had to move on. So after one year we all relocated to different state, he also relocated to the same state. Then at a point he started communicating with me asking me to give him a chance again. At a point I accepted.

The issue:
For over two years after service he hasn't gotten a job. Though engages in contract jobs. Also he had no accommodation of his own so visiting hardly happens.
He always calls, but we hardly see each other because each time I mentioned about visiting he gives one excuse or the other.
At a point i simply told him you are avoiding me. He said no, its because he does not have a job and no money.
Even on my birthday he came because he felt I might be angry, not because he really wants to spend time with me. One excuse or the other usually comes up, so we ended up seeing only twice last year.

In January I had to request to visit him and his family, he was reluctant in the first place saying there is no money for transportation, but I said I will foot a part so he agreed. I did. Saw his family but I wasn't really introduced.
My problem:
We don't spend time together, before I thought it was because he was in a nearby state doing a contract job, but now he is back to the state I reside since December. After that visit in January I had never set my eyes on him but if I complain he will say money is the issue or gives excuse, though he still engage in some contract job. At a point he even asked me what plans I have for our relationship, and I told him as the man he is the one to decide. I once send him airtime and he told me not to try it again that I make him feel less of a man and I stopped.

Note: I had helped him apply for many jobs but non is working out, he can drive and also can install Dstv, but when I suggest him taking a driving job, he didn't make a move.

So recently i lost interest in this relationship.

Another guy in my current vicinity has been asking me out and I am not really into him but he is nice too, but I haven't fully unravel his character so I just had to accept though I don't really love him for now but hoping that the love will develop but that joy that comes with starting a love relationship is not there.

Note: I am in my late twenties.

Should I forget this new guy or still give him time or continue with the first guy. My mind is not really at peace.

Stop wasting your time.
Yawns

Juliusmomoh:

False,..

so she will go to God without options to choose from, isn't that contradicting your stand that God will show her the good one? Can there be choice without options?

Westernlove:


Probably you aren't telling us something here, You might not be attractive or there Is something fishy. These days wey be say Ladies full town dey find husband. Unattractive guys with money begs ladies a lot before they are been Accepted, They go through a lot of Scrutiny.......As I'm typing this. I have 5 Unreplied DMs from well endowed ladies on my WhatsApp which I'm purposely Ignoring......

At a point in once life.. We just stop jumping from one place to another... And just make a simple decision to love someone.
Its not every girl u can spend the rest of ur life with.
Thats just my story.
Fact is.. Am her first ever boyfriend.
And I really do love her.

So traveling sometimes really seem strange to her ears... Mostly the sound of travelling to visit a man.. Its sounds like a big sin to her.

What made matters worse is her parents are againt us cos of tribe.

RealEzee:
so she will go to God without options to choose from, isn't that contradicting your stand that God will show her the good one? Can there be choice without options?

Yes, there can be choice without option sir,
She should first of all go to God in place of pray.. God will direct her to the right place

Juliusmomoh:

Yes, there can be choice without option sir,
She should first of all go to God in place of pray.. God will direct her to the right place

you're still contradicting your statement na, won't there be right and wrong for one to have a choice, like u said God to direct to the right place? Without right and wrong can there be choice?

Niela:


I am in a relationship with a guy. When I met this guy we were living in the same compound, he asked me out, I refused because we stay in the same place to avoid fornication but we were very good friends that people thought we were dating. So travel for a few weeks and came back and he had started dating someone in the same compound, I felt bad though but I had to move on. So after one year we all relocated to different state, he also relocated to the same state. Then at a point he started communicating with me asking me to give him a chance again. At a point I accepted.

The issue:
For over two years after service he hasn't gotten a job. Though engages in contract jobs. Also he had no accommodation of his own so visiting hardly happens.
He always calls, but we hardly see each other because each time I mentioned about visiting he gives one excuse or the other.
At a point i simply told him you are avoiding me. He said no, its because he does not have a job and no money.
Even on my birthday he came because he felt I might be angry, not because he really wants to spend time with me. One excuse or the other usually comes up, so we ended up seeing only twice last year.

In January I had to request to visit him and his family, he was reluctant in the first place saying there is no money for transportation, but I said I will foot a part so he agreed. I did. Saw his family but I wasn't really introduced.
My problem:
We don't spend time together, before I thought it was because he was in a nearby state doing a contract job, but now he is back to the state I reside since December. After that visit in January I had never set my eyes on him but if I complain he will say money is the issue or gives excuse, though he still engage in some contract job. At a point he even asked me what plans I have for our relationship, and I told him as the man he is the one to decide. I once send him airtime and he told me not to try it again that I make him feel less of a man and I stopped.

Note: I had helped him apply for many jobs but non is working out, he can drive and also can install Dstv, but when I suggest him taking a driving job, he didn't make a move.

So recently i lost interest in this relationship.

Another guy in my current vicinity has been asking me out and I am not really into him but he is nice too, but I haven't fully unravel his character so I just had to accept though I don't really love him for now but hoping that the love will develop but that joy that comes with starting a love relationship is not there.

Note: I am in my late twenties.

Should I forget this new guy or still give him time or continue with the first guy. My mind is not really at peace.

Leave the first guy, it will still take him a decade to talk about settling down

Keep yourself busy with the second guy and see if you can have any feelings for him

RealEzee:
you're still contradicting your statement na, won't there be right and wrong for one to have a choice, like u said God to direct to the right place? Without right and wrong can there be choice?

U are right, but is it not better she seek the face of God before embacking into the journey relationship ? ... God will show her right husband.. Not her bring many suitor's for GOD to chose out of it.

Juliusmomoh:

U are right, but is it not better she seek the face of God before embacking into the journey relationship ? ... God will show her right husband.. Not her bring many suitor's for GOD to chose out of it.

no qualms seeking divine help, yet in the search she will come across options of which she will seek divine intervention, that's the koko of our dialogue.

You might call it jumping up and down probably based on the account of morality as described in her religion, for example, Christianity, but if she isn't found wanting there isn't anything wrong in her actively sorting out suitors of which she will present to God in prayer for confirmation.

I appreciate all who has commented, I will take my time to make any decision as regards settling down. I know I actually get into the second relationship due to lack of attention from the first guy, its not really my heart desire as I am the type that don't really look at a man's pocket before dating him, but the stress in the first is making me even want to consider a man's financial status, but in all and truth what matters to me is true love; a sacrificial love that is balanced where both partners love each other and not a one sided love.

More comments are welcomed.

Regards.

Niela:


Do you think a guy can love you and still avoid spending time with you, because at times I get scared.

Though I have had a dream about twice where he wasn't paying attention also to me in this dream, could it be my imagination or a revelation.

Honestly speaking, I am like him

My girlfriend understands that that's my way.

I am in a long distance relationship

We haven't seen since 4 months

In fact I stay one week without calling her but that doesn't mean that I don't love her.

But sis, look somewhere else but don't break up with him yet.