Mizflo:
Thanks everyone for your advice and words of encouragement I live in asaba I love my daughter so much more than anything in this world but I think she deserve better than me the reason I want to give her up for adoption is because she will be better off without me over there she will have both parents that will train and guide her to the right path something I never had the change to have so I want her to be greater than me because I don’t have anything good to offer her , I trust this aunty that will adopt her because she has helped me a lot in the past I know my daughter will be in a good place but I just don’t understand why am I having sleepless nights about giving her away I guess is normal for any mother that love her daughter to feel the same way I am feeling because it’s not easy for me to give her away but she had to go because I want her to be happy and I hope one day she will thanked me for making the right decisions for her. Thanks

spiralwedge:


Mizflo, ignore this. It is written with sentiments and obviously from someone who hasnrt known life yet. How will you show love to a 5 year old child when you dont have the means to? You don't even have a place to stay? If you struggle and hawk, where will the child be? At mercy of someone who will abuse her?

Dont bank on reaping anything on any child, that's not the goal of parenting. It is a Nigerian mentality that misguides. i dont see you giving any good parenting now anyway. Your goal as a parent is to give your child the best opportunity/foundation to thrive in life.
So the best is for you to take this option of giving her the best, which you can always explain to her later.
You also have the chance to bounce back, and make something meaningful out of your life.

If you typed the OP then you are educated enough to negotiate the content of what you are signing for. Let it include occasional visits, but not too occasional.
What you need is a safe hand/home for the girl to grow up to 18.
She's 5 now.... So 13 years more. By then, you will be 34, probably married with more kids. But before that time, you need to heal and achieve things for yourself.

My parents had several people brought up in our homes while growing up, including 7 of us. They lived with us until they are old enough either to return to their parents, marry, or be on their own. They were equally treated with us and i still find it hard to believe that they are not my biological siblings. Their cases are similar to your daughter, and our parents gave them a platform to identify with while growing up to be whoever they want to be. Interesting thing is that apart from my siblings, they themselves are doing the same to other people's children. It is our heritage and i'm forever grateful to my parents for that.

Please ignore these Africa Magic people sitting in the comfort of their homes typing with a myopic mindset. This is your best chance, dont miss it.

ozonechrome:
Mizflo I sent you a PM.

Please don't give up your daughter.

You can't trust people these days with all the paedophilia going on. Where in Asaba are you?
I don't live in Asaba anymore but have friends that do and will like them to comfirm your story then i can offer to help.

Ten06:

Please, one of the moderator should help us coordinate the collection of money for this lady that want to give her child out for adoption, so that we can start contributing money for her to get an apartment.
Lalastical please help

Nuttella:
Hey, dont say that, everything happens for a reason, dont blame Jesus, you are the one that opened your small legs for your baby daddy, Jesus didnt tell you to.

Mailthaddeus:


If u worship the God of ur ancestors, that's totally ur wahala. As for me, I worship the Almighty God and I am not ashamed to announce that He has been my helper and the source of everything I have.

My this hatred for things concerning God? And it's not just a Nigerian thing, it's actually everywhere, people just wanna take out God from their existence, and I can't but help but cry for u guys.

Uniquewise:


The fool has said in his heart, "There is No God". Psalm 14.1

"For by your words you are justified, and by your words you are condemned" Matthew 12.37

Righteousness89:


I Have Given the Solution..

You can Keep touring up and down .. That's Human Nature! We are Naturally Stubborn.

When u are Through with touring the ends of the Earth, u will come back to JESUS . That is where your Solution lies....

Mizflo:
.

TeraHawks:


Did she mention she is not a believer? We need to move away from this one-track solution to everything.

There are people with similar cases suffering in churches today.

My advice is she goes to the government agencies in charge of welfare. There are also NGO's that are involved with such cases. They would give her professional advice; which is what she desperately needs.

Best of luck

abdullahi45:


Convince us chief

unclemaths:


You are an embittered soul in serious need of help.

Whao, you needed help and you actually said the quoted?!

Maybe all those talks about you were true by the way.

Haven't you read about Biblical Job? Joseph? Hanna? Sarah?

Please, don't add blasphemy to your issues.

Nothing do your daughter..
You are the one in serious need of help.

queenitee:


Not everyone is your parent, your parents didn’t adopt them, so they don’t have any claim on them legally. My parents have people who grew up with us too, even before any of us were born. There were even two that it took years before I knew they were not my siblings, but my parents didn’t adopt them and so they have no legal
claim on them.

Adoption isn’t just a trivial issue. After adoption, they have full claim on the child. The child can’t decide to just leave one day(if they treat her wrong) because according to the law, they are the parents, there’s nothing anybody can do. If to say they are not adopting her, it’s a different issue because the child can leave at anytime if she feels maltreated or something, but once she’s adopted, she lose that right(except her adopted parents are good people who still let her have access to her biological mother.) That’s the issue. Not everyone is my parents or your parents, not everyone would do right by her. How would we be sure the adopted mother would do right by her?

So it’s not that we don’t want her being adopted, but how can we be so sure after adoption, the adopted parents won’t cut her off from her child’s life because believe me, they can and there’s nothing anyone can do legally because they are her parents.

If to say they would be like yours and my parents and just accept her into their house and take care of her without laying any claim on her, that would have been different.

You are the one who need think this through. Can the mother live with the fact that except the adopted parents says “Yes,” she can not say/do on her child?

It’s because we don’t know who are the really good people. Why don’t they just help her? It wasn’t like she wanted to give her up for adoption. Why don’t they just help her without adopting the child?

It’s not at all about reaping the fruit of her labour, we all don’t know tomorrow. Plus the child is one of the things that keeps her going. What if she gives her up and they deny her access to the child? What will happen to her? Do you know it can affect her mental health? How well does she knows the family that wants to adopt her child? Because they give her money sometimes or but her stuff doesn’t mean they would be the best after adoption.

Good morning

Mizflo:
Thanks everyone for your advice and words of encouragement I live in asaba I love my daughter so much more than anything in this world but I think she deserve better than me the reason I want to give her up for adoption is because she will be better off without me over there she will have both parents that will train and guide her to the right path something I never had the change to have so I want her to be greater than me because I don’t have anything good to offer her , I trust this aunty that will adopt her because she has helped me a lot in the past I know my daughter will be in a good place but I just don’t understand why am I having sleepless nights about giving her away I guess is normal for any mother that love her daughter to feel the same way I am feeling because it’s not easy for me to give her away but she had to go because I want her to be happy and I hope one day she will thanked me for making the right decisions for her. Thanks

Mizflo:
Please I need your advice. I had created this account because I am well known here with my main account because I am always active and I want to remain anonymously.

Am 21 a single mum with 1 girl age 5 , her dad rejected me when I was pregnant he left when I was 4 months pregnant with her .

I had a difficult time growing up , my mum died when I was 8 years and my dad denied me claiming my mum had cheated on him and there’s no way I could be his daughter.

My aunty who was supposed to care for me had never bothered about me , she was always out leaving me in the house all alone without food , whenever I complains she will beat me telling me to go to my mum graveyard to ask her for assistance.

I have suffered in the hand of my aunty she didn’t care about my education if I have managed to complete my primary school till jss2 was thanks to this aunty who was a teacher at my school and a good friend of my mum , she sponsored me , And when I was 14 my aunty landlord kicked her out of the house because of rent arrears she said I am the enemy of progress she cant take me to her boyfriend house because he won’t accept me to stay there that I should go and look for a place , I cried and pleaded with her to take me along with her but she refuse I beg her to show me where my dad is she said he will not accept me because he hated my mum but I beg her to take me to him .

She took me to him it was my first time seeing him I looked just like him with one eye big one small but he insulted the hell out of us saying he will never accept me because my mum was a cheater she had so many boyfriends that I should ask her who my real father is but my aunty insisted that my mum had told her before she passed on that he was my dad even taught I resembled him still he denied and kicked us out like we were dogs I cried and my aunty was angry because of the insult so she left me all alone in the street but later came to me .
Since that day my life situation has worsened because I was forced to stay with different people where I was being abused , my baby dad came as a guardian angel to my life he took care of everything i needed by promising me heaven on Earth I taught he will get me out of my hard situations but I was wrong i find out he was married with kids I was heartbroken because I didn’t want to live the same lifestyle as my mum had lived but history has repeated itself just like my mother had me with a married man but she knew he was married but me I didn’t know , but it was too late for me to moved on because I was already pregnant for him and I didn’t want to abort my baby I have decide to continue the relationship but when I was 4 months pregnant he left me and blocked me from all his contacts , this is the man that has never bothered to asked about his child for 5 years now..

My little girl dont even know her dad the same way I did not know mine until
I was 14 which break my heart anytime I think about it.

My daughter and I are staying with my madam the lady tat I serve her for now 3 years but things here hasn’t been easy for us because my madam children don’t like me they keep accusing of things I don’t do like I stole their money , clothes and many more before my madam was telling them to stop with their bad attitudes towards me but I have noticed that whenever they had accused me she start getting angry with me sometimes we can go days without her not talking to me which I think I have overstayed and I am not longer wanted here I want to leave this house and to go and hustle but I feared for my daughter because I don’t want her to end up like me.

If I leave this house we will be on the street for a long time till I will be able to get somewhere else to stay with her also I don’t think I can give her the best education because if she stay with me she will end up being a teen mother just like I did something I don’t want to happen to her and I came across someone who’s willing to help me by taking care of my daughter to give her the best life something that I have always wanted for her , she promised to take care of her till university and she will give me the money to rent a room and start up business she said she will take things to the right direction like adoption but I don’t know how she will do it because I have no idea that I will have to sign up papers for agreement i have agreed because I think is really a good opportunity for me even taught I have accepted but sometimes I am getting worried about giving her my daughter I am having sleepless nights and thinking all nights.

I am just tired of living this life I didn’t ask to be born my parents created me and now I am suffering from their mistakes something I didn’t consented and I don’t want my daughter to suffer because of my mistake I think giving her up for adoption is a good thing , but I don’t know if I am doing the right things.

please no insult what is your advice for me.

Thanks
There's no need for adoption,call this number, I run a school let's see how we can figure this out together 08028287950

InSanety:



This is what I have in mind.

If she can work out something like partial adoption.

Let it be that she still has access to the child, even if the child is with another family.

Mizflo:

Thanks for the advice. I have lost faith in Jesus because if he was there I wouldn’t have been suffering like this . I don’t want to look for him because he has never care about me and I don’t want to know him

Mizflo:
Thanks everyone for your advice and words of encouragement I live in asaba I love my daughter so much more than anything in this world but I think she deserve better than me the reason I want to give her up for adoption is because she will be better off without me over there she will have both parents that will train and guide her to the right path something I never had the change to have so I want her to be greater than me because I don’t have anything good to offer her , I trust this aunty that will adopt her because she has helped me a lot in the past I know my daughter will be in a good place but I just don’t understand why am I having sleepless nights about giving her away I guess is normal for any mother that love her daughter to feel the same way I am feeling because it’s not easy for me to give her away but she had to go because I want her to be happy and I hope one day she will thanked me for making the right decisions for her. Thanks

Righteousness89:
I will be Very Frank with you!

Until the Root Cause of a Problem is Tackled, one might keep Going in Circles. And also using Basket to Fetch Water..

The Same Pattern of your Mum is Exactly what Happened to you.

Its time for you to treat that issue..

It does not look like what can be done by Power.

My Advice to you is to Seek For GENUIE Bible Believing Church. Go there, Surrender to JESUS Completely and Let HIM Work on you..

You need to be Soaked in God to Break Certain yokes and Patterns..

Once the Root Cause is Sorted, other things will Fall in Place..

spiralwedge:


When you mentioned "laying claim of", I was already put off.
That's a Nigerian mentality we need to unlearn.

This issue isn't about claim, and adoption is not about claim. Science has so much developed that we are still talking about "claim" in 2020, really?. Nobody can drag the "claim" with a biological parent. Raising other people's children or adopting an orphan or unwanted child is not about claim, but rather a good cause. it's about giving opportunities to the less priviledge to thrive and become somebody in life. Adoption is about parenting, it is not about claim. I'm having to deal with a lot of twists on this issue as if it is a novel or a superstory novella. What legal implications are you talking about on a homeless single teen who can't even take care of herself?

Y'all should relax. There's no better alternative in her present predicament than to give the kid on adoption. Not only that, she has the opportunity to better herself. The other options I see is hawking pure water or prostitution. Which other options do you see?

But with the mentality of "claim", what for?

To collect bride price? To bank on the kids when you are pensioner? That's primitive thinking. If we take good opportunities life has to offer, we will thrive and end well and will not need to be parasitic on our children at old age. But we like to allow Africa Magic to becloud our thinking.

Olatara:
I don't ascribe to Foster family, they can be wicked at times. Adoption is better.