so
if a woman married and have a child b4 having an issue with the hobby
and leaves the home.Then she conceived from another man who refuse to
claim the child.Though, b4 separating with hobby the hobby didn't ask
back for the dowry he paid on her.Whose surname will that new child
bear?.If he bears the surname from the hobby can he claim inheritance even when the man is nt his biological father

Bbklopsy: u can only undastnd best wen he s grown up

u can only understand if u r in my shoes

Abiagirl777:

the child bears de name of the grand father .ie,the mother's family name

not in my place

nossycheek:

Exactly what is practiced in Igbo land. But the child may grow up and go to his/her father who gains from the mother's sufferings.
If I am in such a situation, i will tell the child that the father died in an accident and I can't locate his family members neither do I
know his village

u will only end up committing more damage.

In Delta Igbo culture, we do not inherit childrem. The general rule is that the child belongs to the man if he accepts paternity regardless of whether he paid d bride price or not. However, the mother's family cannot be forced to give up d child and the child when he/she grow up decides wher to stay put. For me sha, no seed of mine who belong to another mans plot cos d son of a Lion can never roam the street

in 9ja its still d father

Both parties took part in the sex that resulted in the pregnancy, therefore same both parties own the result, the child, period!

Thank God this issue came up...i am a victim of such. i have a daughter out of wedlock with an anambra girl...though we were to get married,did all the prep..but somehow it all came down crashing...now. she gave birth without me knowing,named the child,even told their pastor i ran out of the country...beg oh" na lagos i dey oh" now for two years she has deined me rights to see or even know the childs name... and i have been advised not to use force...to claim the child....but daily this hunts me to know that i have a daughter somewhere whom i dont even know and i am alive....
i have resources to take kare of her and her mom..but she has totally denied me access...recently i was now advised to use a legal form....but dont know how it starts of end....so pls house i need some kind advise.....but please this is serious so pls no stupid comments

enomakos: not in my place

i was tryin to clarify you abt hw Igbos asorbs an illegitmate child into de mother's family

nossycheek:

Exactly what is practiced in Igbo land. But the child may grow up and go to his/her father who gains from the mother's sufferings.
If I am in such a situation, i will tell the child that the father died in an accident and I can't locate his family members neither do I
know his village

Nigeria film hehehheheh

@igwemoagbo did u pay her pride price?,and maybe u indeed ran away 4 u not to know when she gave birth.U lost contact with her and never came to see and after she delivered and u now wants to take the child.In my own place once U DIDN'T PAY THE PRIDE PRICE U CAN NEVER TAKE THE CHILD,EVEN TO SEE THE CHILD UNLESS THE GIRLS FAMILY WILL PERMIT U.

igwemoagbo: Thank God this issue came up...i am a victim of such. i have a daughter out of wedlock with an anambra girl...though we were to get married,did all the prep..but somehow it all came down crashing...now. she gave birth without me knowing,named the child,even told their pastor i ran out of the country...beg oh" na lagos i dey oh" now for two years she has deined me rights to see or even know the childs name... and i have been advised not to use force...to claim the child....but daily this hunts me to know that i have a daughter somewhere whom i dont even know and i am alive....
i have resources to take kare of her and her mom..but she has totally denied me access...recently i was now advised to use a legal form....but dont know how it starts of end....so pls house i need some kind advise.....but please this is serious so pls no stupid comments

Am in the same problem,I have a child out of wedlock,I do see my daughter,she is 9months old,the mother is from ogoni and d only girl,..I have met the girl's mother to allow me marry the girl(at least we have bin dating b4) and so dat my daughter bears my surname,the girl can't really financially take care of dat child but dey have just bin playing me by using delay tactics,cos according to dem as an only girl,she can't marry....the thot my child staying outside and having a future of uncertainty hunts me day and night..

[quote author=Amaechi5]@igwemoagbo did u pay her pride price?,and maybe u indeed ran away 4 u not to know when she gave birth.U lost contact with her and never came to see and after she delivered and u now wants to take the child.In my own place once U DIDN'T PAY THE PRIDE PRICE U CAN NEVER TAKE THE CHILD,EVEN TO SEE THE CHILD UNLESS THE GIRLS FAMILY WILL PERMIT U. [/quote

thanks!!!! i didnt runway...and i didn't pay her bride price..for some later revealed reasons....so are you trying to say....claiming a child involves only traditional methods? specially igbo culture?

What I have to say is that most of these problems are caused by perants, I had such problem too but the grls garudens been my uncle made so many treats then. But my dad $ mom show me the best love ever when I wanted it the most, not that they were happy I did it oo but stand by me. I told them I am not marring $ they respected that even duo all oppositions wanted it. But I took my son $ now am so happy I didn't deny him in any way. My point is somtime its not culture but family in the name of they can't stand such things(shame, personalities etc) $ they end up making the grl suffer or the guy to suffer.

nossycheek:

Exactly what is practiced in Igbo land. But the child may grow up and go to his/her father who gains from the mother's sufferings.
If I am in such a situation, i will tell the child that the father died in an accident and I can't locate his family members neither do I
know his village

u r a very wicked mother if u could do so and ur child/ren will never trust u again if dey come to know d truth. In conclusion the love for u shall naturally turn to hatred for u from ur kid(s). U beta dont try dat. It's an advice though.

Will the wedding change the DNA of the child? This traditions are all wrong. The biological father of the child is the owner of the child. Blood is thicker than water. The man who wedded the woman can take care of the child but not claim the child. I think for the man who wedded the mother of the child born out of wedlock to claim this child amounts to him buying the child which I consider a form of slavery, the said child could suffer humiliation from the step father.

igwemoagbo: Thank God this issue came up...i am a victim of such. i have a daughter out of wedlock with an anambra girl...though we were to get married,did all the prep..but somehow it all came down crashing...now. she gave birth without me knowing,named the child,even told their pastor i ran out of the country...beg oh" na lagos i dey oh" now for two years she has deined me rights to see or even know the childs name... and i have been advised not to use force...to claim the child....but daily this hunts me to know that i have a daughter somewhere whom i dont even know and i am alive....
i have resources to take kare of her and her mom..but she has totally denied me access...recently i was now advised to use a legal form....but dont know how it starts of end....so pls house i need some kind advise.....but please this is serious so pls no stupid comments

The court respects customary law and in igboland a child born out of wedlock belongs to the girl's family except you have paid her bride price. In my place, if you don't want to pay her bride price, you will be asked to pay a fine requested by the elders of the girl's family. This happened to a cousin of mine when her runaway father came begging.

Then it also depends on the girl's family if they are willing to give you your daughter. Otherwise, you wait till she is about 18. She is permitted to choose whom to stay with at an adult age. Goodluck.

In Anambra (Igbo); the child is not of the man if he didnt pay the bride price before delivery

2007 thread?

Newmanluckyman: so
if a woman married and have a child b4 having an issue with the hobby
and leaves the home.Then she conceived from another man who refuse to
claim the child.Though, b4 separating with hobby the hobby didn't ask
back for the dowry he paid on her.Whose surname will that new child
bear?.If he bears the surname from the hobby can he claim inheritance even when the man is nt his biological father

He bears the surname of the man who paid the dowry and as long as the dowry wasn't returned but, if the man publicly rejects the child in open then the child belongs to the girl's family

As long as the man didn't reject the child in public, he is seen as the man's child and has every right like his own biological children to share in the property if a will wasn't written.

This happened to my uncle and his property was shared between his biological children and the outside child.

igwemoagbo: Thank God this issue came up...i am a victim of such. i have a daughter out of wedlock with an anambra girl...though we were to get married,did all the prep..but somehow it all came down crashing...now. she gave birth without me knowing,named the child,even told their pastor i ran out of the country...beg oh" na lagos i dey oh" now for two years she has deined me rights to see or even know the childs name... and i have been advised not to use force...to claim the child....but daily this hunts me to know that i have a daughter somewhere whom i dont even know and i am alive....
i have resources to take kare of her and her mom..but she has totally denied me access...recently i was now advised to use a legal form....but dont know how it starts of end....so pls house i need some kind advise.....but please this is serious so pls no stupid comments

Bro legally u have no right of claim on the child. Face ur life.

laudate:


Hmmn. . . . .in Edo, and Yoruba, the child belongs to the man, only if he accepts paternity of the child.

In parts of the Niger-Delta e.g. among the Nembe, the child belongs to the woman's family as a number of villages in that area are matrilineal.

Among some Northern tribes, the child belongs to the man's family if he declares himself to be the father.

correct.

Opiosko: Bro legally u have no right of claim on the child. Face ur life.

Excuse me! He has rights abi no b hin sp£rm catch d egg?

In Urhoboland, (UVWIE), a child, whether born in or out of wedlock belongs to the father as long as he accepts paternity, and or whether the mother acknowledges him as the father of the child. The child will bear or answer to his surname, however, the shame of the mother of the child's bride price not haven been paid is a form of stigma on both the father and mother of the child which alone is a form of social sanction, which does not limit or diminish his role and rights as the father. All the man's children, whether born in or out of wedlock, have equal rights and access to the man and his property when alive or deceased as their is no child classed as "BASTARD" in Urhoboland, specifically in ( UVWIE-URHOBO).

Opiosko: Bro legally u have no right of claim on the child. Face ur life.

are you saying it was the HOLY GHOST who got her pregnant?
have you heard of parenity test?

Idowuogbo:
Excuse me! He has rights abi no b hin sp£rm catch d egg?

He only donated his sp£rm and that's all. The babe alone reserves d right to do whatever she likes with the resultant omalete since they were never married. Taking a legal action will be an unwise decision cos he has no right in law or in equity. The best bet is to use soft power like gifts nd people to help him settle his rift with d family.

nossycheek: Let us examine this in the context of the following cultures;

Igbo
Yoruba
Hausa
Urhobo
Ibibio
etc

Pls not that we are only examining the cultural aspect and not anything religious.

No one "owns" a child, that is a backward type thinking.

A child belongs to that parent or extended family or entity that can give the child the best care. Think in terms of the best interest of the child.

igwemoagbo:

are you saying it was the HOLY GHOST who got her pregnant?
have you heard of parenity test?

U got it all wrong sir. I'm saying he's only a sp£rm donor, he has no remedy in law against the girl.

Opiosko: He only donated his sp£rm and that's all. The babe alone reserves d right to do whatever she likes with the resultant omalete since they were never married. Taking a legal action will be an unwise decision cos he has no right in law or in equity. The best bet is to use soft power like gifts nd people to help him settle his rift with d family.

See below! Ur ancient mentality needs tweaking.

CityNG:
No one "owns" a child, that is a backward type thinking.
A child belongs to that parent or extended family or entity that can give the child the best care. Think in terms of the best interest of the child.