Hello guys,

So there's this girl whom I've known for 18 months inclusive of dating of about 8.

Generally, we are good; no fights, we agree in most things except a few issues which I was matured about and let go.

As most people believe, a man's financial stability maintains some form of decorum in any relationship, so everything will naturally go smoothly.

However, this scares me. What happens when things go south or some other crazy marriage stuff comes up? How do I know what I'm getting myself into when I pop the question? Love is not enough.

They say you can't know a person completely. But there should be a minimum - a basic reaction to stress/unfavorable conditions is one. This will tell the true character of a person, especially the mode of anger/calm/patience etc.

I have a strong feeling I need to stress-test this relationship to at least squeeze some reaction which I believe will be almost the same in a marriage.

Does this make sense?

If it does, what are real life marriage scenarios I can conveniently act to quickly bring out this other side?

If it doesn't, is there any other way I can go about this?

HawksDude:
Hello guys,

So there's this girl whom I've known for 18 months inclusive of dating of about 8.

Generally, we are good; no fights, we agree in most things except a few issues which I was matured about and let go.

As most people believe, a man's financial stability maintains some form of decorum in any relationship, so everything will naturally go smoothly.

However, this scares me. What happens when things go south or some other crazy marriage stuff comes up? How do I know what I'm getting myself into when I pop the question? Love is not enough.

They say you can't know a person completely. But there should be a minimum - a basic reaction to stress/unfavorable conditions is one. This will tell the true character of a person, especially the mode of anger/calm/patience etc.

I have a strong feeling I need to stress-test this relationship to at least squeeze some reaction which I believe will be almost the same in a marriage.

Does this make sense?

If it does, what are real life marriage scenarios I can conveniently act to quickly bring out this other side?

If it doesn't, is there any other way I can go about this?

Your questions are in BOOKS YOU MAY HAVE REFUSED TO READ and CONFERENCES you may have not attended.

Do you NOT know marriage is beyond PHYSICAL?
Do you PRAY?
Do you study books on relationships and HOME BUILDING?
Don't come here and expect a CRASH COURSE..... for a LIFE COURSE.
If you are really serious, GO AND STUDY BOOKS... you have a lot of study to do.
Stop expecting anyone to do what you should do yourself..... YOU ARE THE ONE GETTING INTO THE RELATIONSHIP... WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU WANT IN A LADY... write it down and update it frequently.

Pray about it.... because HUMANS ARE SPIRITS wearing a BODY. Life is spiritual, so be prayerful, not every pretty girl or nice well meaning gentleman is CLEAN SPIRITUALLY... so you can not exclude GOD & Spirituality from this.

LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP -yes this is still true, you should NEVER have entered a relationship without PROPER STUDY, PROPER COUNSEL & GUIDANCE... So stop your GUESSWORK and FIRE-BRIGADE APPROACH.... Marriage is a destiny decision, it can not be taken lightly, so pls you should have taken some months to LEARN, STUDY, UNDERSTAND, LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE KIND OF FUTURE HOME YOU HOPE TO HAVE....

You need relationship mentors (elderly married people with a TRACK RECORD of a GOOD HOME and good children) who can stop you from making DESTINY MISTAKES that are not yet in books.

You need FINANCIAL MENTORS too, people who can give you wisdom... access and open your eyes to opportunities.

Dating Relationship is between TWO PEOPLE but MARRIAGE is between two families.

Go on youtube and listen to Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo, Bimbo Odukoya, Pst Funke Adejumo, DR D.K OLUKOYA .... take time to download and listen to them very well, then start reading books about marriage from the same people I just mentioned.

You will be so informed and transformed and your relationship will be strong even into marriage... no more fears

blackpanthar:


Your questions are in BOOKS YOU MAY HAVE REFUSED TO READ and CONFERENCES you may have not attended.

Do you NOT know marriage is beyond PHYSICAL?
Do you PRAY?
Do you study books on relationships and HOME BUILDING?
Don't come here and expect a CRASH COURSE..... for a LIFE COURSE.
If you are really serious, GO AND STUDY BOOKS... you have a lot of study to do.
Stop expecting anyone to do what you should do yourself..... YOU ARE THE ONE GETTING INTO THE RELATIONSHIP... WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU WANT IN A LADY... write it down and update it frequently.

Pray about it.... because HUMANS ARE SPIRITS wearing a BODY. Life is spiritual, so be prayerful, not every pretty girl or nice well meaning gentleman is CLEAN SPIRITUALLY... so you can not exclude GOD & Spirituality from this.

LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP -yes this is still true, you should NEVER have entered a relationship without PROPER STUDY, PROPER COUNSEL & GUIDANCE... So stop your GUESSWORK and FIRE-BRIGADE APPROACH.... Marriage is a destiny decision, it can not be taken lightly, so pls you should have taken some months to LEARN, STUDY, UNDERSTAND, LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE KIND OF FUTURE HOME YOU HOPE TO HAVE....

You need relationship mentors (elderly married people with a TRACK RECORD of a GOOD HOME and good children) who can stop you from making DESTINY MISTAKES that are not yet in books.

You need FINANCIAL MENTORS too, people who can give you wisdom... access and open your eyes to opportunities.

Dating Relationship is between TWO PEOPLE but MARRIAGE is between two families.

Go on youtube and listen to Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo, Bimbo Odukoya, Pst Funke Adejumo, DR D.K OLUKOYA .... take time to download and listen to them very well, then start reading books about marriage from the same people I just mentioned.

You will be so informed and transformed and your relationship will be strong even into marriage... no more fears

Thank you for the detailed response.

I know there's a lot involved in a lifeline relationship like marriage. I've done most of these things you've outline here.

I waw hoping to get real life experiences from the Nairaland community. Its easy to read books from specific people but most of these are not universal.