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How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by princeSammyz: 6:14pm On Sep 02, 2020
dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page
Now you know the pattern she's putting up. Test her to the limit and see her worst. Then decide if you can live with it. By the way, make sure she doesn't get loaded with your second baby just yet.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by chiefolododo(m): 6:14pm On Sep 02, 2020
Hi
dingbang:
Apply the ten plagues in Egypt incident



She will leave your house to her mum's who will na be taking care of her.
what are the ten plagues?
Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by buoye1(m): 6:15pm On Sep 02, 2020
Juliearth:



There is a video by pastor Smart Adeyemi. Its on giving. I would implore you to look for that video and pay heed to the content.
Your response is top notch, quality advice there, please what is the title of Pastor Sam's preaching you mentioned, I want to listen to help my own life.. Thank you

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by afrika4real(m): 6:15pm On Sep 02, 2020
dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page
reduce the money you're giving her now. No matter how small it is and start saving as little as you can. You are not married yet, pray / advice her to go or to change. Dont put yourself on early grave

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by Incandescent(m): 6:15pm On Sep 02, 2020
He asked how to handle her.. people are saying don't marry her.

Does this one look like someone who's ready to get married
Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by okeyben10: 6:16pm On Sep 02, 2020
If na because of money she no dey respect you that one easy.
By d time you're done paying your debts, how much is left?

Ask her how much goes for diapers, baby food bla bla...then how much for feeding and all that.
She tells you 50k a month. You beat it down to what you can comfortably pay without emptying yourself.

Try that and see if the situation improves

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by Decimus: 6:17pm On Sep 02, 2020
Why did you impregnate a jobless girl?

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by abdullahi45: 6:18pm On Sep 02, 2020
dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page

Sorry op, I hope you get of the mess.

This is the kind of unnecessary mess and crisis premarital sex can mete. I hope others learn from op chronicle..

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by MrBrownJay1(m): 6:19pm On Sep 02, 2020
... Is it really difficult today to send an ungrateful woman back to her father's place (or wherever she was living before she moved in with you)?!

You move her in, she changes, YOU MOVE HER OUT

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by Longman180(m): 6:20pm On Sep 02, 2020
SmellingAnus:
You are going through what many married couples go through...

All I can say is that you are not married to that girl... Use your tongue to count your teeth and advise yourself...
sad
Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by Peteru1st(m): 6:20pm On Sep 02, 2020
bro, calm down! its better now that you guys ain't married yet. you can tell her to move to her mums. and you won't stop taking care of your baby.
Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by deltateam: 6:20pm On Sep 02, 2020
sheepheart:
Where do you guys with good heart always jam these types of ladies that can't even manage resources #700 can still buy half kilo of chicken or fish or at worst smoked fish to make a delicious pot of soup.

When y'all be prioritizing wrongly the attributes to look out for in a lady.

Ask op whether she get big bum. E no go pass am.
Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by Nobody: 6:21pm On Sep 02, 2020
From what I can sense now, try to save up and do a DNA test on the baby to be sure she is your first.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by Omobada(m): 6:21pm On Sep 02, 2020
Juliearth:







Blessed are you amongst other men to know your wife's true colours. Marry a woman that can support you through thick and thin... Is she handicapped? What is stopping her from setting up a small business to support you? That you didn't have the best childhood experience doesn't mean you should be a dunce and a fool for love.

You have a child with her, you can cater for that child's wellbeing, but that doesn't necessarily mean marrying the mother of that child, especially since she has shown traits that you cannot cope with. Work out an arrangement with her to go back to her parents' house. Your mother can cater for your daughter for the time being...



You also need to work on your cheerful giving spirit. You are not God, stop playing God in people's lives by trying to help them. Learn to hear from God before helping and you should also know that there is a factor called "the rainy day". If your savings culture was topnotch, you may not have resorted to taking loans to pay rent and other things... People take loans for investments and not to sort liabilities. There is a video by pastor Smart Adeyemi. Its on giving. I would implore you to look for that video and pay heed to the content.

Frankly, you're endowed with double B... Kudos
Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by silverstar007: 6:23pm On Sep 02, 2020
Dangerous daddy abi what's your name.
Can this be for real? Or this is for attention.

If it is real, I don't envy you or your condition. Truth be told, she won't and will not change a bit. Do you know you can accept a baby and not be married to her? Especially due to obvious state of things. She is not supporting you yet not giving or grating you your peace.

See ehn... You can't satisfy such woman. She is in for the money or say good time alone. Sadly, this traits are there all these time but I am sure you kept believing and assuming she will change someday. Sadly, she won't change. Only God can make her change.

My brutal advise.... Can you talk to her heart to heart. Make her see reasons to support you especially with hep of loans you got. You made mistake taking loans bro. That aside. Next... Tell her your salary and next salary payment.... Drop bulk of ur salary with her and tell her it is for home keeping - feeding, baby, and her. Ask her the analysis few weeks time. Is she can't give you proper breakdown.... My guy, do take mental note... Withdraw such openness and Endure for next in order to escape. Plan your exit. Get a new house. Don't let her know your place of work. Jaaa paaa!

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by Longman180(m): 6:23pm On Sep 02, 2020
Bluntguy:
You are seeking for advice now because you don't have money in your pockets at the moment. Once you receive your pay now, she will welcome you home warmly and you will forget you ever asked for advice concerning her.
Now here is my advice:
Be patient till the next payday, you will soon smile again. Olodo!!!

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by NwaIgboBoy(m): 6:24pm On Sep 02, 2020
vote Buhari come 2098...
Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by Draught: 6:25pm On Sep 02, 2020
Your daughter should be your paramount obligation, continually support her in every possible way..

It's not just working out with your BM, save the stress and move her out.. Life is too short and beautiful to be feeling sad everyday

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by aminusodiq(m): 6:25pm On Sep 02, 2020
merieam16:
Oga go and do the needful, even if its as little as only the bride pride.Its obvious that ur mother in law is nt happy with u and its nt a good sign
lol angry grin do d needful with all dos red flags? Op... Ignore dis lady abeg!!!
Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by AntiWailer: 6:25pm On Sep 02, 2020
Hmm
Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by HOD74(m): 6:26pm On Sep 02, 2020
Young man, am approaching fifty in terms of age and I can tell you categorically that not all ladies are marriage material. Some are meant to stay single until there teeth start falling out one after the other. That lady return are to her parent before she push you into depression or upgrade you to highpertensive patient. God bless you.

11 Likes

Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by abdullahi45: 6:28pm On Sep 02, 2020
Lari03r:
Why are you co-habiting with a woman you haven't married?

You should be glad she has shown you who she is.

She doesn't work or contribute anything, yet she wants to dictate to you how to spend money.

My brother, use your head and send her packing.


Lol.. Paradoxically, he can cohabit with a woman he hasn't married but he can impregnate her.. Hhmm
Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by deltateam: 6:28pm On Sep 02, 2020
Brachaa:
undecided
Now you want to put an end to it. You didn't know to put a stop when engaging in premarital sex??

Not trying to be judgmental here but I'm going to be very blunt.

When we advise people to take time and court, avoid premarital sex before living together as man and wife to avoid things like this that will force you against your wish to be with the wrong person, they'll bark at us. But when the consequences begin to arise, they run to people who they never sought advice from before now.

The deed is done. You and I know it will not be easy to opt out now as that will cause another round of problems that you might not be able to get out of till old age. So, just go and perform the marriage rites on her and learn to tolerate her excesses. There are no perfect marriages out there. Dont let anyone deceive. But if you feel you can easily get her off your neck, gently let her know of your in tensions and make arrangements on how you're going to be sending child care relief to her for your childs upkeep.

These are things that could have been avoided with simple chastity.


Courting for 20 years doesn't guarantee a good marriage.
Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by jaxxy(m): 6:28pm On Sep 02, 2020
dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page


B4 u bring it sm1 to leave with u u must have a proper discussion to address all probably issues likely to occur based on ur known character. Once this is understood and agreed upon as they start to leave with u u have to set ground rules. These are guidelines so everybody doesn’t live like they are in a barracks and have some sense of organization. U must also show am discipline and address every intial upcoming issues in best civil manner so the new person can adjust with time.

If u keep quiet and ignore or let them do as they like u will have an uncontrollable house. The issue(s) that came as small as it is shud be discussed cos it show great stupidity and insensitivity. Wastage of scare and limited resources. She is either not a wife material, plain stupid or doesn’t understand or believe what u say Ure going through.

If she can’t dwell peacefully with u when I are broke even as a stay in baby mama or gf then and u have had proper discussion on this with her and anyone with good influence on her it’s time to have a rethink cos she will Only set u backwards.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by AyarmBoye(m): 6:28pm On Sep 02, 2020
Damn it 100k is damn too small to cater for you and you family especially with other commitments like loans and likes.You need money if you want most Nigerian women to be submissive 100%...Since you are not married yet,give her an ultimatum ...either she sees the situation in ur own perspective or she returns to her parents..if she picks the later bro it means her parents are in support of her characters...you can either have ur daughter stay with ur parents or with her..hustle hard...100k small for this current economy bro

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by UDOKABESTLUV(m): 6:29pm On Sep 02, 2020
Bro, Start Blogging Business Now And Thank Me Later, that's My advice for you, In 2020 you are making less than 100k as monthly salary, Bro You need another source of income, Get In touch with me.
Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by Nobody: 6:30pm On Sep 02, 2020
deltateam:



Courting for 20 years doesn't guarantee a good marriage.

I know but in the Lord, there is guarantee.
Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by deltateam: 6:31pm On Sep 02, 2020
UyaiIncomparabl:


Bleh. Bleh. Bleh.


Blame.
Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by GamalNasser: 6:31pm On Sep 02, 2020
I am truly a blessed man inside and outside

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by sawdi: 6:31pm On Sep 02, 2020
UjuJoan2:


It's impressive to see a guy who still wants to take responsibility of his child, even though he's not married to the mother. It gives me hope that not all men are scum.

Now to the issue at hand. I always emphasize on the importance of money in a relationship. No woman wants to suffer or cook with 700 naira. It's not a happy place to be. But then your baby's mother is a greedy, wicked and irresponsible woman. She should happily cook with 700niara since she's not even your wife. She got pregnant for you and your responsibility is to your child, not to her too.

My advice, kick her out. Make sure you cater for your child and remain in her life. Buy the things she needs (the ones you can afford) monthly, and send to them. If she doesn't like it that way let her leave the child with you and go.

DO NOT MARRY THAT WOMAN! She will kill you before your time.

Op. Take this heed to this
Re: How Do I Handle This Kind Of Woman? by quolahpoh: 6:31pm On Sep 02, 2020
Juliearth:







Blessed are you amongst other men to know your wife's true colours. Marry a woman that can support you through thick and thin... Is she handicapped? What is stopping her from setting up a small business to support you? That you didn't have the best childhood experience doesn't mean you should be a dunce and a fool for love.

You have a child with her, you can cater for that child's wellbeing, but that doesn't necessarily mean marrying the mother of that child, especially since she has shown traits that you cannot cope with. Work out an arrangement with her to go back to her parents' house. Your mother can cater for your daughter for the time being...



You also need to work on your cheerful giving spirit. You are not God, stop playing God in people's lives by trying to help them. Learn to hear from God before helping and you should also know that there is a factor called "the rainy day". If your savings culture was topnotch, you may not have resorted to taking loans to pay rent and other things... People take loans for investments and not to sort liabilities. There is a video by pastor Smart Adeyemi. Its on giving. I would implore you to look for that video and pay heed to the content.

Please what's the topic of the sermon so that it can be easy to look up online

1 Like

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