She actually Had sex with a guy about a week or two weeks later after our break. That she was vulnerable that period because a lot of things happening. I pushed further and she gave me all the details.

If she could do that just after a week or two of our breakup means even in marriage if we have any problems, she can easily sleep with that guy that she finds solace in.

Lalami3232:
Why is it that some people don't like hearing the raw truth? Baba, if I were to be that girl, I won't make the mistake of telling you any bitter truth in life anymore cus u don't have the heart to take it.

Kyom20:
Is there no end to the selfishness exhibited by these men on Nairaland? You confessed to a fling you had and she did same yet strangely enough its her own that you cant deal with? Have you never heard the saying "love your neighbor as yourself" and "do unto others as you would have done unto you?".

You broke up with someone you claim to love for months and felt justified by your action because you knew you would settle after a few months. How was she to know this plan you made up in your head? Cant she also feel that you could walk away from your marriage for months at a time beacuse of trivial issues? Honestly guys on nairaland never cease to amaze me.

Please be guided. If you cant take it dont give it.

Selfkontrol:
Good morning all.

I had a very serious yet Heart breaking moment last night. I have this girl friend I have been dating for some years now. Roughy 4 years plus. We are so serious that ThE next phase of our relationship should be marriage.
I love her so much and to the best of my knowledge, she loves me too and was really a wife material like I have always thought all these years even though we have been off and on sometimes.

Last year September I broke up with her because of how rude she spoke to me.( not the first time. I just couldn’t take it anymore)It was a messy breakup and even though she begged me for three days. I never listened but deep down I didn’t mean it. I just wanted her to fix her bad behaviors then after some months we come back. It wasn’t long too, her father had stroke and I knew she was passing through a lot that period. Even though she tried to find solace in me during those times, I didn’t care that much but still called her often to know how the father is doing. (He’s much better now)

Fast forward to early this year, we started talking again and she visited me where I stay. ( note: we have been talking after few weeks of our breakup but just friends. I still loved her but but I felt it wasn’t time yet) We made out and continued our relationship. I try to fix everything that caused the breakup and she was ready to turn a new leaf and so was I

Everything was going well with less issues for these past months because we don’t stay in the same location. It’s more or less a long distance thing even though we didn’t start that way. (We started dating in school and some point lived together for a year) we couldn’t stay in same city because of circumstances. Her parents live in a different city.

Everything was fine until recently when we were talking and something lead to another thing. She first told me how men give her tips in her mother’s restaurant (she helps her mom in the restaurant since she’s awaiting her masters) i didn’t find it funny. I told her it’s not wrong to take tips but when you know there would be a condition attached to the tips then it’s very bad to accept those tips. ( sometimes 10k, 15k, 5k and evening someone had giving her $100 before) at first she didn’t find anything wrong in taking those tips as she said that’s the little way she can help herself since As she couldn’t be always asking me for money every time. (I send her cash once in a while) But later saw my reason why it’s wrong to take tips from these men especially if the cash is huge because at the end the men always make demands like she told me And she promised to stop it.

Later in the evening we where having a conversation and I told her about a girl a had a little fling with a few months ago. (Long after we broke up) And how the girl called me and was feeling I used her because I went back to my ex. It was a harmless discussion and we both we just laughing over it. Didn’t take long before I asked her Jokingly if she have ever had anything in the place she stays After our break up and to my greatest surprise she gave me a shocker that She actually Had sex with a guy about a week or two weeks later after our break. That she was vulnerable that period because a lot of things happening.And she never believed we could come back. I pushed further and she gave me all the details.

That left me very heartbroken. Heartbroken in the sense that my girlfriend for years could easily sleep with a guy within few weeks of our break up. I was very bitter through out the night. She begged and cried all night and even had an ashma attack and promised it was just a mistake. I called her so many names including a cheap slut anyone could easily sleep with just like that.

I know this is just a relationship but I’m actually scared because this is a girl I plan to engage next year and marriages is obviously the next. She’s a very beautiful girl, honest, caring and faithful to the best of my knowledge but I’m really confused right now. If she could do that just after a week or two of our breakup means even in marriage if we have any problems, she can easily sleep with that guy that she finds solace in.

Help me Nairalanders. She’s supposed to stay for two more days before she leave but from the look of things she might be going today. I’m really confused and don’t wanna make a bloody mistake that I would regret later In the future

Selfkontrol:
Good morning all.

I had a very serious yet Heart breaking moment last night. I have this girl friend I have been dating for some years now. Roughy 4 years plus. We are so serious that ThE next phase of our relationship should be marriage.
I love her so much and to the best of my knowledge, she loves me too and was really a wife material like I have always thought all these years even though we have been off and on sometimes.

Last year September I broke up with her because of how rude she spoke to me.( not the first time. I just couldn’t take it anymore)It was a messy breakup and even though she begged me for three days. I never listened but deep down I didn’t mean it. I just wanted her to fix her bad behaviors then after some months we come back. It wasn’t long too, her father had stroke and I knew she was passing through a lot that period. Even though she tried to find solace in me during those times, I didn’t care that much but still called her often to know how the father is doing. (He’s much better now)

Fast forward to early this year, we started talking again and she visited me where I stay. ( note: we have been talking after few weeks of our breakup but just friends. I still loved her but but I felt it wasn’t time yet) We made out and continued our relationship. I try to fix everything that caused the breakup and she was ready to turn a new leaf and so was I

Everything was going well with less issues for these past months because we don’t stay in the same location. It’s more or less a long distance thing even though we didn’t start that way. (We started dating in school and some point lived together for a year) we couldn’t stay in same city because of circumstances. Her parents live in a different city.

Everything was fine until recently when we were talking and something lead to another thing. She first told me how men give her tips in her mother’s restaurant (she helps her mom in the restaurant since she’s awaiting her masters) i didn’t find it funny. I told her it’s not wrong to take tips but when you know there would be a condition attached to the tips then it’s very bad to accept those tips. ( sometimes 10k, 15k, 5k and evening someone had giving her $100 before) at first she didn’t find anything wrong in taking those tips as she said that’s the little way she can help herself since As she couldn’t be always asking me for money every time. (I send her cash once in a while) But later saw my reason why it’s wrong to take tips from these men especially if the cash is huge because at the end the men always make demands like she told me And she promised to stop it.

Later in the evening we where having a conversation and I told her about a girl a had a little fling with a few months ago. (Long after we broke up) And how the girl called me and was feeling I used her because I went back to my ex. It was a harmless discussion and we both we just laughing over it. Didn’t take long before I asked her Jokingly if she have ever had anything in the place she stays After our break up and to my greatest surprise she gave me a shocker that She actually Had sex with a guy about a week or two weeks later after our break. That she was vulnerable that period because a lot of things happening.And she never believed we could come back. I pushed further and she gave me all the details.

That left me very heartbroken. Heartbroken in the sense that my girlfriend for years could easily sleep with a guy within few weeks of our break up. I was very bitter through out the night. She begged and cried all night and even had an ashma attack and promised it was just a mistake. I called her so many names including a cheap slut anyone could easily sleep with just like that.

I know this is just a relationship but I’m actually scared because this is a girl I plan to engage next year and marriages is obviously the next. She’s a very beautiful girl, honest, caring and faithful to the best of my knowledge but I’m really confused right now. If she could do that just after a week or two of our breakup means even in marriage if we have any problems, she can easily sleep with that guy that she finds solace in.

Help me Nairalanders. She’s supposed to stay for two more days before she leave but from the look of things she might be going today. I’m really confused and don’t wanna make a bloody mistake that I would regret later In the future

Lalami3232:
Why is it that some people don't like hearing the raw truth? Baba, if I were to be that girl, I won't make the mistake of telling you any bitter truth in life anymore cus u don't have the heart to take it.

Kriss216:


This is the problem with Nigerian girls I hate so much.
The young man accepted he had a fling with another girl without blaming anyone or anything, said its a fling.

The young and promiscuous vagina being blamed innocent Vulnerable for her hoeism. Using emotional blackmail on the innocent young man..

Nigeria girls should learn to owe to their hoeism. There's dignity in labour.

khingTony:
Dump that girl, 1 or 2 weeks after the break up she hoped on another d1ck



Forget all these people telling you that you also had a fling and you are not suppose to judge her, you listed the qualities that made you love her, which are just basic



So, It's evident that the only reasonable thing she's bringing to the relationship is just her body, and she has failed to make that exclusive to you

She certainly belongs to the streets

thorpido:
You're funny Op.It's ok for you to have a fling and not feel remorseful but when your girlfriend does, the world must collapse?
If it is good for the goose, isn't it good for the gander?You broke up with her then and like she said became vulnerable.You take responsibility for making her vulnerable.She didn't know if you will come back or not.

You have a choice to forgive her or not.If you won't,let her go,she'll find her own man.If you choose to forgive,make your relationship work.Stop all the break up and break dance ish.Resolve issues.
You have spent enough time together and you know in your heart she's a good woman.
The choice is yours.