PRE-MARITAL SEX AMONG THE YOUTH AND TEENS

WHAT IS PRE-MARITAL SEX?
Pre-marital sex or sex without marriage means sexual intercourse between an unmarried male and female. It begins when a boy begins to nurse an inordinate feelings towards the opposite which often result to lust and infatuation. The intercourse is the act while all the activities that results into the act is called sexual immoralities, beginning from holding each other’s hand in the secret, to hugging, pecking, kissing, caressing, and romance among others. In a sex saturated culture like ours, many unmarried people, especially teenagers, feel pressured to be sexually active. The temptations now may be greater than ever because people are delaying marriage until their late 20s and 30s. However, the Bible teaches us self-control rather than self-indulgence (Galatians 5:19-24, 1 Corinthians 10:13). God was the one that gave us the gift of sex, but the gift comes in a pack with the instruction, “DO NOT OPEN UNTIL MARRIAGE”. Many ignored this divine instruction because they want the gift and they want it now, thereby spoiling the gift and annoying the giver (God). Many youths and teens are yet to know that sex is an act, relationship is a spirit and marriage is a covenant. We have turned upside down God’s order of sex from Marriage, to companionship and then sex but now it is sex, to companionship, and then marriage or no marriage.

TYPES OF SEXUAL SIN
We sometimes get it wrong by concluding that the real sex is a sin while the other process that leads to the sin of fornication is not seen as a sin. Here are the few among many of those sins.
1. Lust: lust is burning, passionate and over-powering desire to have sex. It is one of the greatest problems confronting the young’s and even the teens. Lust is known as mental sex, it is the mother of all sexual sins, it is the broad road that leads to the land of fornication, and in fact nobody can fornicate without first been lustful. If there is anyone who can handle lust properly, he/she can handle any other sexual sins.
2. Nudity: This is the act of exposing ones unclothedness either knowingly or not, and in most cases in order to use it to entice the opposite sex either to make money, fashion, civilization, to feel belong or just for the fun of it. This can be done physically, in picture or by posing in front of cameras. Some of our girls are fond of wearing clothes that exposes 80% of their private part, their skirt are too small that you do not need to bend to see their undergarment. All those cloth like “see through”, mini skirt, show me your navel, armless, micro-mini skirt, bum short e.t.c. only show how foolish and indiscipline you are.
3. Obsession: once you allow immoral thought to settle in your mind, it gain access into heart or it gain foothold in your thinking, the spirit of lust goes further to overwhelmed – your thinking with pictures of sexual activity. As a result, your thinking becomes naturally immoral, always in the direction of wanting to have a man or a lady, grabbing her, and even having sex with any man/lady you see. At this point you are no longer oppressed but obsessed.
4. Masturbation: This always involve sexual fantasy and self-stimulation of sexual organs, motivated by sex film, pornographic materials or setting of mind on past sinful sexual relationships. Some so called brothers and sisters even in the church are victim of this “room service” though they are known not to have girl friends and are thought of been pure in heart by their brethren, but before God they are worker of iniquities.

CAUSES OF SEXUAL SIN
1. Exposure to pornographic materials
2. Reading of sexual books
3. Exposure to sexual films
4. Staying in an environment where sexual perversion is the order of the day
5. Wrong information
6. Lack of self-worth

WRONG REASONS FOR ILLICIT SEX
 I did not want him to leave me: Ladies that go into pre-marital sex with a man because they do not want to lose these men end up losing not only the man, but their integrity, their relationship with God. Any man that truly love you will wait after the wedding before sex, because TRUE LOVE WAIT
 Everybody is doing it- The Bible clearly warn us as a Christian not to join the multitude to do evil (Exodus 23:2), truly some people are doing it, but certainly not everybody is doing it, there are millions of disciplined boys and girls that are not doing it, they are people who fear God and are ready to obey his instruction to any length
 Just this once: one time doing something wrong, is one too many because once is never ending. If you go into it once it increases your appetite for it, before you know it, you destroy your precious life.
 He will marry me: some ladies fall into the antics of the devil, just because men promised them marriage, they are always surprised when these men dump them having satisfied themselves and go for another lady. Please do not trade away your inheritance because of a mere promise, don’t give your destiny away in exchange of a man that cannot wait for you, for you will surely live to regret it.
What the word and God says about sex
 The WORLD said sex is just an act, GOD said sex join two people, body, soul and spirit together.
 The WORLD said it is too risky to get married without knowing that you are sexually compactible, GOD said it is too risky to marry a sexually promiscuous person. Prov. 5:1-7
 The WORLD said sex is good when you are in love, GOD said it is “right” if you are married
 The WORLD said a little sex does not hurt anyone, GOD said it is a sin against your own body and flee immorality. 1 Cor. 6:18
 The WORLD said I can look as long as I don’t touch, GOD said your eyes are the windows to your heart. Matt. 6:22
 The WORLD said it’s a shame to be a virgin, GOD said it is honour to be a virgin
 The WORLD said use protection GOD said use self-control. 1Cor. 7:36-38, 1Thes. 4:3-7, Rom. 6:12, 1Cor. 9:24-27, Job 31:1
 The WORLD said pornography does not hurt anyone, GOD said pornography hurt everyone, especially you!
 The WORLD said everybody is doing it, GOD said life is not dictated by what everybody is doing. 1Cor. 10:12

How to be free from sexual immorality
1. Thinking and meditating only on godly things. Philippians 4: 6-9
2. Get busy for God
3. Engage in spiritual exercise, make prayer your habit
4. Read, study, memorize, meditate and live on the word of God. Joshua 1:8
5. Guide your eyes, discipline it lest it push you into error
6. Never take a look at sin or things that may arouse you sexually, like pornographic pictures or film, indecently dressed ladies or boys on the streets.
7. Do as Joseph did: Never think you can resist sin, flee away from it. A Brother that is sitting opposite a carelessly sitted lady in mini skirt will do himself a lot of favour by changing his position
8. A lady that sits among men that are discussing about fornications will do herself a lot of favour by leaving the place
9. If you are struggling with lust, never go to bed until you are feeling sleepy
10. Have somebody you can confide in, share your experience with him or her

REFERENCES
Bisi Adewale, Breaking the stronghold of sexual sin
Revd. Olusola Ayodele Areogun, (2004) Sexual Purity
Dr. D. K. Olukoya, Dancers at the gate of hells